Talking to myself,
With a glass of whisky sour
If only love was a cake,
That I'd thoroughly devour
Hard to get off the
intentional high
In a world of unending emotions,
All I know is a melancholic sigh
Quiet uninhibited, this feeling of trance
All I needed is one last dance
Yet here I am
Hopping some brews,
If I fall in love again
I'm sure it'll make the news
The regular life
Now seen as an aberration
Of what used to be,
When we used to hold hands
With the whole world at our feet,
Just like the sky won't stop turning blue
Rest assured darling
I'll always remember you.

in the cleanest dream i had of moon
we dived into the deepest end of pool
he never left my side,
his brief was blue

underwater glimmer held me accountable
for things i longed the most, for things i wished for the most
such as fingers of my moon,
the many hearts of my moon in mine

you see, i wanted more than i could swallow
because i longed to be annihilated by those i loved
but underwater still, we held hands

i wanted to ask – why are you here?
we're seven feet below the surface of the water,
and decided not to ask – having you there was enough

as florentia, in another time we abandoned, he wrote me:
this need for affection kills
when you just can't afford love

I miss you, I miss you, I miss you
I miss you so much
It makes me feel as fragile as a tissue

That would tear from the weight of my tears
That shed the pain of my love
And release my deepest fears

That allow the ability
To persevere.

our fingertips meet gently on the rim of porcelain
and as we take a sip from liquid infinity
all the numbness abides - induced by frost and rain.

the ember glow ascending from your eyes -
no tender coffee with cream could ever achieve -
is the epitome of what makes my inner child arise.

and i adore the way your index finger moves around the surface of the storm-kissed-window,
while you utter your thanks for whatever makes this autumnal evening swirl in an indigo-colored vertigo.

and i see it too.

© fey (27/12/21)

When the winter’s tiny heart began to beat once again
Nourished by the fall
I heard calls all around me
Coming from afar to me, in this small city
I had to choose one, so I became bewildered
And chose my next step in life in haste, a peculiar one at that
But my indecisiveness brought me here to you
In this city hundreds of miles away
You were from a glinting colony in a grand city
And I was a paltry town dweller
But now we shared a common roof

Everything started out slow
Constant visits to you in my neighbourhood and,
The peeled skins of oranges in your room

When the windowpanes began to frost
Our breathes smoke
You awoke from your slumber
And took us out of our cold caskets
We swayed in the dark hallways of our hostels
Out to the concrete chilled by the winter’s breaths
Guided by the hot sodium lamps gasping in the mist
We would find our way to the village
Warming our throats with hot milk and biscuits
All of us refueled ourselves so our legs can carry us to the city
Frigid weather, you in my sweater, cold drops on my jacket’s leather
Everything was better now that I got to be with you
Even if not alone

When you talked you were unexpectedly loud
The words confidently jumping out from your mouth and,
The sweet scent of oranges from your lips

We roamed the city like it always belonged to us
Casting shadows and chasing them
Roaring, trampling the earth beneath us
Crossing bustling roads
From one lamppost to another
From on glass to another
We ran nowhere
We ran from nobody
We just ran together, aimlessly
With slowly thawing ice creams on our wrists
Adrift, we ran in the mist to the fruit market
Pears, pineapples, persimmons
Unable to resist

I can never forget chafing hands in the weakened heat
Of boys standing together ravishing ripened fruits and,
The soft flesh of oranges between my teeth

And the bitter winter wind crossing our ears, crystalizing
On the rickshaw speeding every second
It was all so loud
But not as you
You danced in the avalanche of bumps and breaks
Your warm breathes to my trembling face
Our laughter followed yours
Our smiles echoed yours
And when the thinning roads began to seem like home
You guided as back to our dorms
to think of doing it again tomorrow

But now I am back in my paltry town
Nothing moves here, it feels like a grave
it’s summer and it’s hollow
it devours every sound in its guts
everything is so static and silent it hurts
This summer, it’s going to be long
This summer, it’s going to be sad
And I do dare to yearn to go back to our winter
Because it was the best time I ever had
I do dare to yearn to go back
Because it was the best time I ever had

Now I sit in the blazes constricted by the sand
With only my memories, some hopes and,
The seeds of unblossomed oranges on my hand

Whining whispers echoing the night
Crying large tears, illusion broken up
Mirage of hope at the end of the road
The crazy and violent are ruling this world

The Night is the time of loneliness
The time when the world gets quiet, when there's no holiness
It is the time when all the colours lose their hue
The time when light bids you its ultimate adieu
It is the time when no one hears you cry
The time when special rules of conduct apply
It is the time when you crave to be held
The time of remembrance of all those feelings you have ever felt
It is the time when you start feeling buried sorrows
The time of desire for a better tomorrow
It is the time where hopes of day go to die
The time when birds of hope are too tired to wave their wings and fly
It is the time when evil terrors roam the world
The time of surrender for the defenders who fall
It is the time when you are the captive of your bed
The Night is dark and spiteful; it's the time when you get sad