I screamed but my voice was a whisper,
The shadow took my hand and said everything is okay here.
Hard to believe.
The things the voices were telling me.
There soft voices so bitter sweet.
The shadows gentle hands.
Telling me there was a plan.
That everything's under control.
Yet the ocean waves rolled and rolled.
I was far under the surface.
Trapped by my mind.
Impossible to find.
I hide the pain I feel.
But deep down know the pain is very real.
Slipping in and out of people's life's.
Feeling I never do anything right.
This is my reality.
No it is not a dream.
You can say snap out of it.
But it's absolutely useless.  
The only thing I hear,
Is the shadow I hold so dear.

A.S

As she walked, she couldn't help but stop. Stare and cry. Tried to lie. Hide the truth she saw beyond. A little girl in a little pond. As night set in. The horror was about to begin. Mommy said you left me. The only thing she could see. This little girl turned  white. And disappeared into the lake into the night. She ran home. Looking for the comfort of someone. But on her bed all that sat was the little girl and the cat. The little girl layed there damp. Next to her layed the broken lamp. She had hit her with it long ago. Then dumped her in the lake below.

Repeativly I appoligize.
I don't know how she hasn't realized.
When I talk about a crush.
I feel my heart begin to rush.
I remember that last time I told you.
I wondered how you'd react what you would do.
Instead I kinda feel like you forgot the next day.
Now I just identify you as a person whenever I say.
The work crush.
Yes my heart rush.
Only because it's you.
You are the reason I do what I do.
I try to hide feelings with others.
But no one makes me happy like you.
I just don't know what to do.
This is how I will say it.
I like you.

So this poem will be a little different.
No it's not about melody.
Like most have been.
This is about my sweet friend.
Sweet friend em.
She has been through so much.
And gotten past it.
I'm amazed by her strength.
The strength to rise up beyond the pain.
She has made it so far.
Emily you are truly an inspiration.
Even if I don't talk much anymore.
Know I'm always here and you mean so much still.
Random peom for you Emily.

She's no longer a part of my life.
Can't help wondering if my choice was right.
I can't do it anymore.
It's affecting me in. Ways you don't know.
The pain is too much.
I'm no fighter.
You may be but I'm not.
With me the only way out is suicide.
I'm not going back to that alternative ever.
Yes goodbyes are forever.
But that doesn't mean never.
Never again shall we talk because...
One day we might both get our **** together.
One day maybe our paths will cross.
For now we don't associate with each other.
It's impossible.
Can't happen.
Remember I do love you.
But nothing more than a friend.
Sorry Chick
You've got Her anyways.
And for some reason I knew this would happen.
The world is cruel.
I told you I'd be toxic in your life.
And look what happened.
Unwanted drama.
Remember I'm always here for you.
That's about it...

Day by day I walk down this sidewalk.
Always alone.
Excluding the one time someone walked with me.

We walked down the side walk together.
Something had happened earlier and we had to get away from it all.
Everything is going to be okay I told her.
Just breath.

Never again did she walk the lonely sidewalk with me again.
Instead she began walking with a different friend.
Back to the old times.
Back to walking alone.

I am quite.
Nobody listens!
Hear me out!
I am small.
Passive.
Invincible.
I just want to be heard.
Listen to my screams.

Sleep tight little angel.
Sleep tight my sweet nightingale.
Let the dark cast over you.
Let your body decide what to do.
Curled up and asleep.
Dry your tears that you no longer weep.
Stay strong my young love.
Don't cry my white dove.
I know it's hard.
I know I cut my wrists with a shard.
Shard from the mirror I looked into.
I am insecure.
Never really here.
I'm too fat.
I scratch my skin until I scream stop doing that.
Dried blood lines my wrists.
All my friends ask why I wear long sleeves.
Maybe someday they will see.
Red lines.
Ever so fine.
Tears in my eyes.
Tears as my soul cries.
Yes people love me.
Something I can barely see.
Her touch is healing.
The only good feeling.
But until then I cry.
And die inside.

Anger, sadness, depression, pain...
All those emotions swept over me.
When you actually care they never see.
See how much you cared for them.
You mean absolutely nothing in the long run.
So now I sit in the darkness of my house.
Tripping on the shadows I see.
Actually listening to the voices.
Cut yourself.
The scream.
Take a pill.
Take another.
And another.
Till you finally fall into a deep sleep.
When you can't sleep at night
Just take pills.
They help.
Help a hell of a lot better than the voices.
Just
Take
A
P
I
L
L
Then feel numb

My body freezes.
My airways weezes.
I am pushed away from a deep sleep.
On so deep that my insides weep.
Upon waking up its hard to move.
Nothing I can really do.
So I lay here and stare.
Unable to move even if I dared.
Stuck here for minutes at a time.
Staring up at the roof hiding the sky.
Unable to let tears leave my eyes.
Here I stay unable to cry.
In a deep deep comma like state.
Here I lay here like a fish on a plate.

Yes I've known you for a while.
Yes you are one of the few who have made me smile.
Your bleach blonde hair.
Roaming the halls with you there.
Getting in trouble together over the summer.
Going to lunch with each other.
The lunch was bad.
But it was all we had.
We had each other and that was all that mattered.

Sometimes stuff is not gonna go the way you want.
Sometimes the world with explode under your feet.
Sometimes love will be just out of your grasp.
Sometimes people will be back stabbers.
Sometimes you'll bleed to death.
Sometimes you'll just have to sit there listening to angry music by Eminem to feel okay.
Sometimes you'll never be okay.
But that's okay.

I fall in love just a little or little bit everyday with someone new...
-hozier

I can't decide if I will let you save me,
Or if ill drown.

My chemical romance dead...

"...And if your heart stops beating I'll be here wondering, did you get what you deserved? The ending of your life? And if you get to heaven I'll be here waiting baby, you get what you deserve. So when your heart won't take then this heart you break. Your dead..."

I can't help wondering if I will be going to hell.
There's really no way to tell.
Sure you can spend your life begging for forgiveness.
But what makes you think it covers your sins.
Almost every day I get the feeling I'm going to hell.
I know why it's the reason I fell.
Ascended from the good girl I was.

That's why I am like I am cuz im my mom.
My mom, my mom, I know your probably tired of hearing about my mom.
But this is just a story of how when I was just a shorty and how I got hooked on ******.

Sooner or later it gets to you,
All the I love you,
All the I miss you,
All the I need you,

Sooner or later it gets to you,
Sleeping in late,
conversations delayed,
Don't go out,
Don't...

Sooner or later,
It gets to you,
Depression catches up.

I want to run, but here I stand.
I began to fall, but on my feet I land.
I stand my ground.
Look around.
Here they scream out loud.
The names they shout out.
***, loner, weak.
Friendless, ****, meek.
Dead, ****.
Never to be liked.
Should I listen
Possibly dismiss them.
The words may burn.
At night I may toss and turn.
Sleepless  
Empty and dreamless.
I never want to be called a victim.
Maybe just a symptom.
One of being me.
So judgemental they have to be.
Why do they have to hurt me til I die?
Why do they spit their words til I cry.
I don't have to care.
I can pretend they aren't there.
That's what my mom says to do.
I told her I am me not you.
It's not the easiest thing.
Hearing other human beings.
Beating you down.
When everyone's around.
Watching your best friend.
Say our love was all pretend.
Well it's alright.
I'm okay for atleast another long hate filled day.

Hey guys I wanted to appoligize for not writing as much as I used to. I've been going through a lot recently. Now I am overcoming the recent patch of life and stepping into the light. I am going to be starting a page on the social media site Facebook specifically for this page of poems because I really want to hear from you guys. My poems are about problems many people go through and often directed toward LGBT adults and youth. I would love if you all went and like the page. Hopefully the page can be fun and a bit of a support group. In an upcoming post I will give the link to the page all are welcome. Even if u are not following this page. Just if you have problems and would like a place to speak out and feel okay please come and check it out. Thanks guys. Thank you for all the support and I hope you are all okay and just know you can hit me up if you ever need someone to listen.

Father dearest…
Always knowing when to say what…
The most wonderful input.
Sister dearest….
Always means well.
Often time her wellness unrecognized.
Prior Rexi label…
My dearest…
Always telling me I’m never enough.
Always pointing out the worst.
Unhealthy decisions.
Pro Ana.
Pro 0 calories.
Pro 0 pounds.
Rexi dearest….
You ruin everything.
You take who I am and leave me a skeleton.
The frame of whom I once knew.
Father dearest…
Since when do you have an eating issue?
Maybe he was too busy flirting with my therapist to ever notice.
Maybe all the years in residential was not enough proof for you.
Father dearest… you only make it worse.

The sun is grey
Yet it lights up the day
Not all who see understand
The sight they view
I personally barely see past the grey
Yes there is blue in the world
Yes indeed there are lots of colors
Some people are color blind.
I only see color sometime
I am constantly battling the mania
Which can be described as all the colors attacking at once
And battling depression
Which is blankness attacking and the voices telling you to JUMP!
Whispering JUMP!!!!
Do it! You won't...
There sweet voices pleading.
Jump you beautiful girl.
People will love you on the other side.
You will be appreciated in the other world.
In the next world.
You belong there.
Just jump! Follow the light sweet girl.
Don't call me that!
Only one person I know can call me that and you are not her.
She is the reason I stay in this world.
It's not my time yet.
One day it will be, but not yet.
There's feeling behind the music I listen to.
"When my time comes around lay me gently in the cold hard ground." Not a day too soon.
I want to spend everyday on earth with the people who don't make me worthless.
Yes I understand I am sick in a few ways but I am getting better. Mentally I am being cured by having friends. My little nerdy sweet friend. ❤️ Love you!
And even though I will never not be allergic to majority of the things I eat and the allergies are getting worse and more are popping up its okay because I am happy now and know I have people who would care if I died. So I silence the thought and go right up to the people who care. They love me and I love them.

Bipolar....
Sometimes I am blue. Those are the days I bob under the waves and become pushed down into the deepest parts of the ocean.
Sometimes I feel orange. Mania hits me and I am in in the clouds jumping from wisp of fluff to the next. Other times I am in between. That is a place with no air no change. It's dull. I feel this way around people, majority of the time. One specific girl brings me out of the dullness. Sometimes around her I go down into the deepest parts of the ocean. My anxiety sky rockets up past the clouds. I am stuck at the bottom of the deepest part of the sea drowning in anxiety. It's because I'm too scared to walk up to her but I feel mean for not saying hi. Then when she says hi to me first I am pushed high up in the clouds. I feel the breeze, it's just the happiness flowing through me. My anxiety is beside me but I can watch it here. Therefore it isn't out of control. :)

Stress...
Sometimes it's wearing a dress.
Other times it's taking a test.
Girl! Chill take a rest.
There are many ways to deal.
Remember stress is very real.
You can bake a muffin.
Be careful not to burn your hand in the metal tin.
You can read a book.
Even if that book is on how to cook.
You can take a walk.
or talk and talk.
Curse under your breath.
Or you know just give it a rest.
You are alive and well.
Life is pretty swell.
Sweet girl just breath.

The rain came down gently at first. Then the rain began to crash down.
Screaming.
Hiding the tears streaming down my cheeks.
Sure the rain was doing me a favor.
The night was cold.
Cold and windy.
The Stars had vanished with your memory.
You were in my past.
Someone I had to let go of.
I can't think of you anymore.
The rain felt nice on my freshly made cuts.
The clear water turning a red striking down my arm.
Idk why I'm writing this is just came upon me. No I will never lay a blade on my arm again.
Never cry for her again.
Never feel the pain she wants me to.

Dancing.
I dance on the clouds sometimes.
There times I am buried deep.
Almost too deep.
Too deep.
I'm sofficiating!
I can't breeth!
The pressure everyone puts on me.
No mum it's not athsma.
It's anxioty.
Plastic wrap around my lungs.
Tighter.
I'm dead.
Only on the inside though.
Still alive, sorta, on the outside.

The whispers of the night hides my loneliness.
The shadows hide my emptiness.
Along with the loneliness they take my freedom.
They take my sanity.
Every bit that was left anyways.
I search for brighter days.
All I see is the rain.
As I watch the blood wash down the drain.
My wrist bleed.
I scream.
I fight.
I can't take one more night.
Nothing is right.
Forgiveness comes too easy to me.
I give and give.
But now I'm empty.
Nothing left to give.
So now I must leave this broken world.
God I'm gonna let it go.

So I guess I'll trust you sister.
Someone I've never trusted before.
I leave you as Emma's mentor I guess you can say.
Emma is little sweet.
I'm leaving town though.
Getting out of this pathetic place.
Don't worry I'll call.
Just be there for Emma.
She needs a womanly role model in her life.
She needs you.
Believe me I'm not gonna be responsible for kidnap so take care of our sister.
Keep her safe.
Don't let her stay out too late.
Bye.

Your every move has led me to her.
The beginning we were nothing.
Now she is everything.
How can someone care so much.
Always on my mind.
Wondering if she is okay.
I wear her sweatshirt.
It smells like her.
She wears mine.
My last name on her back.
Big red letters.
It's cute on her.
She is everything to me.
I love her with every ounce in my body.
I love her so much.
Nobody has a clue what I'm getting into to.

take my hand.
I will lead you through the storm.
The storm on the inside.
The storm that you can't hide.
I can see the pain in your eyes.
Really it's no surprise.
You've been through so much.
You are strong.
Amazing.
And not hopeless.
So take my hand.
Allow me to walk you through the storm.

Her hands on my waist.
Dancing in a dress of lace.
Baby come here.
She took a step near.
Baby take me all the way.
Don't wait another day.
Yeah, I guess we rushed into things.
Words represented with promise rings.
I want you to hold me.
We were simply meant to be.
Our favorite quote.
Both of us devote,
So many hours,
My fingers running over your body in the shower.
Lips explore.
Never satisfied wanting more.
You take me to a place.
Somewhere I want to be.
Where it's just you and me.

Today in an ****** epidemic,
Little feeling empathetic.
Empathetic for the young lives,
Affected by this epidemic.

Mothers, fathers popping pills to make them feel,
If it’s okay according to the FDA then this is a real ordeal.

Inflicting pain on the young hearts
Families once whole, now ripped apart, hard.

For pain they call it therapeutical,
In reality place the blame on Pharmaceuticals.

The doctors who prescribed the pills for pain,
Only for the addictiveness to take over the brains,
The brain keeping us sane until we swerve a little too far out of our lane,

Into the rubble the car crashes,
You know you’re in trouble when family dynamic is nothing but ashes,

Once a loving mother, father, sister, brother.
Now they can’t remember one another.
A simple prescription turning into a burden, an addiction.

Your once young teenage daughter
Until the day we caught her.

Locking her door,
Always wanting more.

It began simple with Marijuana,
Then someone asked, “You wanna?”

This will make you feel nice,
But she never asked, at what price…

A simple anxiety pill, Xanax,
Then everything downhill, she panicked.

A legal prescription “Medicine”
Quote from Tomas Edison,
“I have not failed, I’ve just found 100 ways that won’t work,
But with a smirk
Now she’s aware, that is the perk.

That’s the confliction, the confliction with the concept of addiction,
Definition of addiction, the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.
Now that’s the subscription, you subscribed to the addiction.
Paying for the new issue monthly
Only the best for you honey.

Full ride scholarship,
Until she slipped.

All the way down, rock bottom.
Hit the ground, she couldn’t hear them.
Screaming for her to stop,
Until the day she climbed to the rooftop,

She didn’t ever fall,
Maybe it would have been best for her after all,
If she jumped to let go,
Because after all we know how far she’ll go.

The constant desire,
The desire to light the fire,
The fire under her pipe, doing what the monster said was right.

The finding of the final stage, the monster,
The true destruction of your once perfect girl.
She took the blame,
Her mother claimed it was her who felt the pain,
The pain forcing her to take the blame when it was just her best interest to maintain,
Keep her brain happy before she go insane,
Insane from all the pain that a simple pill caused,
She’s simply trying to maintain…

Do we blame the victim?
Push them down kick them?
The true destruction of her mind,
Something legal,
Yet truly evil.

If it’s FDA approved,
Is it really okay to do?

Staring at the glass case,
A broken room, a broken memory,
Yet a beautiful little gold heart necklace.

Memories,
A girl once wore this,
Her sweet lover could have given it to her,
Or even maybe her grandmother.

Maybe her dad worked long hard hours to get this beautiful heart,
Maybe he came home one night,
Held behind his back,
Told her to close her eyes tight.

Maybe it was a gift to a young girl,
a young girl who was her mother’s princess,
a cherished baby with a beautiful name like Eeveenna,

Sadly in that case it is not the truth,
This necklace came from a very broken owner,
Given to her by a distant lover,
At times the lover would hold her close,
Other times shed come home to a closed fist.
Sometimes screaming voices surrounded the necklace as it was around her neck,
Other times it felt the tears the girl cried,

It followed her to the place where shed receive help,
Help from her past,
Help with how to cope with the trauma.

Dad had left,
The girl remembered all the assumptions that the necklace has been given to her,
A dead beat father,
A mom out of control.
A necklace that should be burned as the memories are forgotten
The memories this girl will never forget.

This is no necklace without a past.
A simple gift turned into something that would follow her to her grave,
This tiny gold heart,
Worn and old,
A necklace that would be kept till the day she decayed.

But as I look into this glass case,
A worn down necklace,
A necklace with a story,
A long dark story,
A story never to be told,
A story that die with the girl…

Hear us tweet.
Hear up tell you you're weak.
Hear us lead you on.
Hear us tell you you're loved by no one.
Hear us sing curses.
Hear us tell you to jump.
Hear us through you over the edge.
Here us tell you your worthless.
Hear you starting to listen.
We are the birds. The ones you fear. The ones that will never go away that are always here.

A little girl scared to reach out.
She hesitated with doubt.
Always too scared to ask.
Small and clueless hidden behind hates mask.
No one heard her screams.
People laughed and said honey it's not as dark as it seems.
Held close by her partner at night.
The littlest mistakes causing largest fights.
I'm sorry baby.
Nobody could save me.
This little girl wandered her mind.
Aimlessly wondering what she could find.
She found a razor and began.
Blood streaming down her hand.
She found a broken relationship.
I'm sorry I just couldn't get a grip.
This little girl went on.
Shy and helpless as a fawn.
Then as she grew older.
She became bolder.
A drink here and there.
A mind filling her head with dare.
Take one more pill.
You haven't yet had your fill.
One two three four.
Now that I've started why not take more.
I was in a hospital that night.
The doctors walking past were blurs of white.
This little girl has taken too many.
This little girl has had plenty.
She came in a broken masterpiece.
As far from sober as she could be.
That night the girl decided to be strong.
She jumped of the building to where she thought she belongs.
That little girl jumped in her mind.
Don't worry she is perfectly fine.
On the outside anyways.
We will just say its been a rough couple of days.

Yeah she was there first.
I was nothing but a tool.
A tool to help you get over her.
Guess you never got over her.
You really loved her huh?
Love her enough to call me your best friend.
Get me to trust you enough to tell you everything about me.
Then turn around and stab me.
You ******* ripped my heart out.
Thanks man! Means a lot.
Always love it when the person you cared about kills you inside.
Not the fist time this has happened.
First was my dad.
**** the list is too long.
all these people have like killed me.
You hurt the most though.
I hadn't cut in months.
Now my leg has an x on it.
And ex for ex for friendship that didn't work out.
I remember the plans we made.
How you told me you wanted to be with me.
Then everything changed so fast.
You said you never wanted us to get close.
And then I meant nothing.
I was just a ghost who came into your life.
Then was shoved out again.
Tossed out like garbage.
That's what I am.
A ghost.
I'm dead now.
At last.
But only on the inside.
I don't know who I can trust.
Way to **** up my trust with everyone.
By hurting someone with trust issues you pretty much hurt everyone around me.
Now imma be hesitant to tell anyone anything.
I'm going back to living in the shadows.
Back to drawing on myself with a blade.
Na I won't go that low.
Even though I did last night.
I love you.
But I still can't.
I'm weak.
Not strong anymore.
You were everything to me.
I obviously made a horrible mistake.
I spent countless nights wondering if you were okay.
You probably didn't care.
You told me that I'm alive because love keeps humans alive.  
I asked how.
You said because I love you.
You obviously didn't.
I'm sorry for ******* this up.
So sorry.
I'm sorry for loving you.
Sorry for caring.
Sorry for hurting.
Sorry for letting the pain control me.
Just sorry.
But no I don't regret meeting you.
I don't regret a single word said.
I don't regret kissing you.
I don't regret sneaking out of class to be with you for a minute.
I don't regret anything.
I regret loosing you.
I regret not being whatever you were looking for.
My friends say I should hate you.
I can't hate you.
You can't hate someone you loved.
And I loved you.
I remember you told me not to love you.
That i was making a mistake.
And that your a better friend than a girlfriend.
I'm sorry.
Sorry that you thought that.
Sorry that your back in what you called a toxic relationship.
Sorry that I'm sitting here reliving the past.
Listening to your favorite music.
**** that.
I love you.
Love is evil spell it backward and I'll show you.

Depression
Doctors perscribe
My memories die
Just like the night
My mind grows farther from the right
One friend I hold dear
He is the my drug when I can't get rid of the fear.

So much sitting on my tongue.
So much impossible to believe.
Man targets gay club...
50 dead, 56 injured.
Blood donations, no gay blood.
Spouses can't even help one another.
Wanna know what I say?
**** the quote "freedom"
If this country were truly free gays could go to clubs without the fear of getting shot down.
People could donate blood and not have to be a certain sexuality.
Freedom doesn't excist in this country if you are gay.
Pray for freedom.
Pray for the victims
Never stop fighting for your rights.

There's not enough rain in Oklahoma to wash the sins out of that house.
So here I hide motionless like a dead mouse.
I began silent and died silent.
I began pale and unable, unwilling, to breath.
Now again I feel anxiety making it impossible to breath.
I thought I was making improvement.
I thought maybe for once in my life there was a chance I wasn't going to have to take meds the rest of my life to keep me alive.
That ship sailed.
I didn't take them yesterday and I already feel pain.
I feel the anxiety.
I feel the waves pushing me under.
I'm drowning again.
Mom says I need to take my meds.
I know I need to.
Sometimes I just forget.
The next day I am flung high into the sky then pushed down under the waves to the deepest parts of the ocean.
Here I will stay for a little.

No time, no time.
Always time, always fine.
Cannot cannot.
Stop, it's not something that should be fought.
Can't stay can't stay.
Just a minute you won't be late.
No time, no time.
Be that way, fine.

Roll it off your tongue.
Watch it leave your mouth.
No this word must be whispered.

Said with uncertain doubt.
In society today,
America tends to sway.

Far far away,
Away from this whispered word.
Away from the sad facts.

Unfortunately this word is more than that.
The word **** is no secret.
Almost 1.3 million each year.
Your sister, your brother, your uncle, even your mother.
A sensitive word I know...

Yet they keep it out of schools.
When my teacher said the r word I though she meant *******.
A word more commonly thrown around than a word that should be spoken about.

My voice was shut down.
Don't use the r word in schools.
It's not a school appropriate subject.
Just shut your mouth and forget.
Victims everywhere.
Men and women. Adults and children.
All potential victims of ****** abuse.

You want the word **** kicked out of schools?
Look how it's all around you.
A poetry teacher unable to let me express.
A word that may hit hard to all the rest.

A simple statement about **** in relationships.
The R word shouldn't need an explanation.
The R word is all around us.

Still such a subject that it is to be kept hidden.
Shut your mouth don't speak out.
The word **** is such a thing never to be said.

Only until your the one it's happening to instead.
Speaking out is scary.
Probably even harder because in school nobody tells you it's okay to talk about.
Instead it something you just not say.

Girls and boys please listen to me.
You use your voice and you speak.
You practice your first amendment right.
Don't stay hidden,
Don't give up the fight.

If someone hurts you in such a way.
I know that it's scary,
And thanks to society today,
You may be very afraid.
Afraid to speak out
Afraid to raise attention.

Afraid.
Afraid shouldn't be a word associated with speaking out against ****.
Stop closing doors.
Stop making this subject scary.
Encourage people to be open.
Everyone has a voice.
It just needs to be spoken.

With every word is a silent fight.
The fight to **** the demons whom come to play at the break of night.
Dawn covers my screams.
A cut for every crushed dream.
Every meaningless cry.
Nobody sees the pain hidden within my eyes.
Nobody can see my wrists bleeding.
Nobody hears my thoughts screaming.
They see the person I pretend to be.
The perfect girl whom fits in socioty.
Not the one with crippling depression and anxiety.
They are all lies you see.
Absolutely everything.
I tell you I'm okay.
Acually I'm just waiting to say...
Waiting I breath...
One last breath...
Whisper goodbye...
Finally close my eyes....
Finally **** the voices.
Finally free.

Mahestic four legged creatures so mighty.
Beautiful eyes and wagging tails.
Wet noses and furry toeses.
A beautiful four legged creature.
Some don't appreciate there beauty.
Some beat and even **** them.
***?!?
Sorry it's an emotional day.
Don't be mean to dogs!
******* if you ever hurt an animal!

The words she paints so gently
Etch my mind
Her voice leaving me stunned
So beautiful and fine
Speaking ever so softly
Sending chills down my spine
She wispers in my ear
Babe are you really mine?
I am yours my love.
Always have been.
Always will be.
Til the end of this universe.
And life as we know it.
I will always be yours.  
Some don't believe in forever.
Some don't think about infinities.
My infinty rests with her.
She is my light.
She is my love.
Whispering gently in my ear.
I love you so my dear.
Is that so? I wisper back.
Well beautiful, guess what?
I love you too.

You call me a *****
You say you want me to die in a ditch
Well I don't know what I did
Love towards me was forbid
I shut you out
You never shut your mouth
My wrists are bleeding
My heart is screaming
But you you just stand there watching
I'm tearing down
I'm leaving town
I don't know who I am
But whoever I am your not a fan
I'm never good enough
I'm packing my stuff
No stay you scream and plead
Then you turn around and hit me
You call me a ****
Compare me to a mutt
Now you wonder why I overdose once a    
day
My life is filled with hate
But the hate is like a drug
One feeling of warm fuzzy hug
The drug is the hug that bring me to tears and hopes no one ever comes near
I need to get myself away from here
I struggle with my own problems
To half to take care of you on top of them is like a dog caring for its owner
I guess I'm like a dog no wait you might say I'm a bit lower
So here is my apology no wait just kidding
I think I was just fibbing
I should thank you in stead
Thanks for trying to hit me in the head
Thanks for making me scream for making my wrists bleed for watching me die then just adding to the pain by cutting up my emotions with your lies
Yeah you were always sly until you walk right up and said ok ***** it's time for you to die
I just laughed and said no girl it's been you messing with my head
Sorry ***** but I'm already dead
That night I took too many pills now I was in for the ****
I hopped right into my car drove to the train tracks
Ready to be attacked
This next rhyme is an effing fact
If the ***** ain't got her dog
She is gonna disappear in the fog
The shadow that's been killing me for years
Oh lucky me the train is almost here
Grown near for my last stop
Laying on the tracks
The train threw a little honk
Then I felt it
I was nothing but a memory
Come puppy sit
But ***** don't you know I can play dead  too watch me your bond to loose.

Yes you said you loved me...
Yet another one of your lies.
You were just a using me.
Gosh really not much of a surprise.
Never meant a thing to you.
I was nothing but a game.
Charm the girl, break her heart?
The words you spit have killed me.
Last night we had a fight.
I lost my job because of you.
Good I'm happy you probably ****** at babysitting anyways.
And I don't have time to argue my cat is dying.
Good it's only because she looked at your worthless self.
Tears rolling down my face.
Voices screaming in my head.
Worthless, ugly, unwanted, unloved, incapable of keeping a job, a horrible girlfriend, mentally sick.
But then I remember the past.
All the I love yous.
Sweet girl, you mean the world, I love you, forever, I would never hurt you.
Yes I continue to cry.
But that's alright.
One day I'll find someone new.
Someone who really loves me unlike you.