At a show
Why are there still people here?
I looked up and saw a girl
She was wearing the earrings
You always wear
I wondered why you weren’t here with me
Standing by my side
It’s not like you ever did
Just a beautiful envision in my head
Of what would make my life easier
Stand by my side and hold my hand.
I miss the 4am drives home
I loved reminiscing how great life was
The only car on the road
But things were going so well
I miss those nights
only minutes prior
I was at peace laying with you
I don't think
It'll feel the same
With anyone else
Weights in my stomach
Holding me down
My tongue has been cut
Ceasing the words
I want to say.
There’s nothing that’ll make me speak.
The words you’ll never hear.
We shared the apple in the garden of eden.
But I’ll never regret that bite
Questo è per te
Questo è per te
Cambieresti? La tua mente
Questo era tutto per te
Stiamo parlando in lingue. Non posso tradurre
Was I not the better choice?
What made them better then me?
If it's change you want
I'm willing to become a different
If it means once again I'll be the
I don’t care if the sun doesn’t rise.
If the snow falls and doesn’t melt
Just be there
The cold crisp air has made our petals fragile.
We will crumble from the slightest touch
Just be there
When there is nothing left
All I ask is to replant my seeds
So I can grow again
Close my eyes shut with the nails that crucify your hands.
Blowing on dandelions
Making my only wish
That things will somehow
Work out between us.
Carve your sorrows in my skin
Writing the words I’ve already spoken
Break them down and be free
There’s no point
There is no point.
What is time?
When this was the only thing that meant
Anything to me
What is time?
When the clock is going the wrong way
Regressing into my past self
Fading into the person I never wanted to be
You brought me back down
The clock ticked for awhile
But it shattered
Look me in the eyes and tell me what I’m feeling isn’t real
Although these feeling might not be reciprocated
I can’t help them
I’ll look you in the eyes
And tell you
I love you
You’ll either turn and walk the other way
Or look deeper into my eyes
I’ve been waiting for you to come clean
I love you too
Glide your fingers slowly across my skin
The feeling like rose petals upon my grave
Something beautiful to heal this nightmare.
Make me feel whole again
Just for a little while
Until that feeling is gone.
You'll forget their face
only a matter of time
You'll forget their name
only a matter of time
I'll forget the way she looked at me
I'll forget the way she talked
I'll forget the perfume she wore
I'll forget the color of her Blue eyes and Black nails
But is that the truth?
I'll hold your hand until you let go.
The tighter you hold on the longer I'll stay.
But to be honest if our hands lost grip
I'd still stay.
My hands are forever intertwined in yours.
Even if your small fingertips lose touch
I will stay.
I will be mindful of the color or your nails.
And the tremble of your hands from nervousness.
When you let go
I'll be waiting for you.
Please don't let go
What were my hands made for if they're not holding yours?
If I need to write to forget your name
Am I really forgetting it?
Or just ingraining it more?
I always tend to have this desire when I adore someone. But something about you is different. As if all the flowers in my garden had no scent until I picked yours. I fear the smell fading away sooner than it hit my senses. The petals will fall and the flower will decay before it blooms again. I have to let nature run it course and I will see the true beauty to come.
Sorta like my detector for love
I guess this is how I really know if I’m into someone
First I start to feel off
The days begin to fade into each other
I don’t know where one starts and begins
I sleep off the confusion only to
I don’t feel adequate enough for someone
To love me
I’ll give you my all
Rip my heart out
Blood over your hands
Take whatever you want
But I don’t know if I’ll ever get it back
To let go of my misery. To let go of my depression. Is to let go of everything I've ever had, I've ever worked for. Even though this is misery, this is also comfort. I wanna let go. But I can't
If I told you my secret, would you feel the same?
Would we share the same intimacy?
Is it really a secret when It's begging to be told.
Secrets feel like some type of forbidden mystery.
Trapt away never to be told.
Only those who witnessed it know.
But you witnessed it and still do not.
It won't be my secret forever
It'll soon be yours too.
The words you're meant to hear
For one reason or another
Won't come to fruition
Is it for the fear of everything I've imagined?
Or the ugly truth that hides beneath.
Both options don't seem plausible
In my head
So I'd rather get stuck
Somewhere in the middle
It's not your fault
You didn't know
What you meant to me
But know that you do
What's that thought on your mind?
Has it changed?
An addiction born out of concern
Administered by the ones meant to heal
I was not supposed to survive
Born months before my departure
Somehow I feel responsible for what you’ve done
Too young to utter my concern
What is adolescence, when you're absorbing all the tragedies around you?
Looking at a past of self reflection
But we’re making all the same mistakes
Don’t you think we would’ve learned by now?
I'll always remember your name
but you'll forget mine
as soon as you take
your last drag of your menthol cigarette
Forgotten in the smoke
The petals on your roses have long fell off.
I’ll be there to plant new seeds.
My flowers have decayed.
But yours will bloom.
I just hope we can share the same water
When even if I’m dying.
The stained red petals on your roses will bring me back to life.
Write your name in the dirt over my grave
Let me show you what you’ve been missing.
The things everyone notices when they come across you
But you fail to see
We all have a little self doubt
But you’re to perfect to be staring at the reflection of someone else.
The mirror isn’t broken
But I’d put the shards back together with bloodied hands just to show you the reflection of who you truly are.
I’ll close my eyes
The empty space
In my bed
Is the only thing
That helps me sleep at night
It seems as if everyone has someone but me
All I have is my art
It get pretty lonely here
I can't fall asleep next to my art
I can't surprise my art with flowers
I can't confide in my art
It seems as if I'm the only one forgotten about
All I can do is feel
But I don't know if I want to feel anymore
It eats away at me more and more.
Like some type of beautiful parasite.
The words I’m aching to say will never come
Rip them out of me
Make me say
What I cannot.
I guess I'm just stuck in the old ways of thinking
that true love is still out there.
I know how I feel but I guess you had a different idea
The sea won’t bring your mind to ease
Only drown in the current
Choking on the saltwater
Stinging our wounds
I can’t continue to see you live this way
Would you change your mind?
If you realized
All for you.
As time goes on
and I'm still
As your soft fingertips caress my skin.
Dig your nails deep into me.
Like everyone else.
This one will hurt.
I’m begging you please reconsider.
I’d rather suppress my feelings and pray they go away, than face the truth.
I haven’t felt the need to write like this in awhile
You must be something really special
I feel as if I must get these words out
Or I’m gonna choke on my thoughts
I never believed in a god
That is till I met you
I’ve been praying for a sign
Something to get me through this
I believe that sign is you
All I’ll ever be is a shadow of what I could’ve been
There was this weird tingling feeling as if I smoked to many cigarettes on an empty stomach. Once these feelings subdued I was greeted by a lovely smile and beautiful blue eyes. For the first times things felt right, I’ve made this mistake before but I just knew. No anxiety or apprehension just solely being in the moment. After that wonderful day I was reluctant to part ways as if we’d never cross paths again. Will I see again?
You haven’t heard from me because I’m afraid I’ll run out of words to say.
Talking to you is eaiser said than done.
Preserving my sentences so I don’t choke on my thoughts
I just wish I was:
I want to be your favorite tv show
I want to be the blue dice on your rearview mirror
I want to be the words in your favorite quote
I want to be the folded page in that book
so you wont lose your spot
I want to be something you'll hold, touch, feel and cherish
I want to be yours
— The End —