My brokenness
Pieces of me
Being put back together
By you, God
Piece by piece you put me together
Showing me the way of where to go
My pieces
The map
I cannot see it so
I rely on you to show me the way
Once I find my way
With your help
My pieces are slowly getting glued back together
One by one and
Once I hit the end of my adventure
My pieces are glued forever
As if I was never broken
For in you I am found perfect
With you I am found perfect
Because that is how you see me
Perfect and unbroken

Like a giant cotton ball
Moving at its own pace
In the giant blue ocean above our heads
Of many shapes and many sizes
Thick to thin
Streched and clumped
One color
To some
Making it like cotton candy
depending on the morning or night
An hombre of colors
Making them pop
As if in a pop up book
Light and white
Or darker and grey
Being filled with rain
Ready to cry on the earth
To water the lands below
Most times you are there
And sometimes you are not
But when you are up there
Floating around
Making shapes
I could sit or lay down
And look up all day

The saying
You never know what you have till its gone
Isnt just true in dating relationships
But in friendships
And those you work with
One of my coworkers
Passed and I didn't realize
How much I would miss him
He had his ups and downs
Like everyone else
But its rough
And its going to be different
Without him at work
Cheery welcome greeting
And smile he always seems to wear
And his laugh
Making those around him smile
You will be missed
Always remembered
Rest in peace Ken

When your words speak yes
but
your actions show me no

My daughter
I am so proud of you
Never forget that

My daughter
Why are you crying
I Am always with you

My daughter
You are Beautiful
Always
          -God

These things I like to call
A disease
Everyone has them
In their hands
Pockets
Backpacks
In front of your face
All the time
Never
Left at home
Turned off

You stole
My friends
My time
My joy
Fresh air
Family time
Face to face conversations
And you keep me on the couch

You use me for everything
Alarm clocks
Notes
Photos
Videos
Movies
And even as a computer

You started off the size of a brick
And as time passed
You got smaller
Then bigger
And flatter
Like a pocket sized tv

You have become such a disease
That not many of us
Can live without you
But you have become a sad necessity
That should never have been
You are a want not a need
So stop and let me have
My life back
The creativity your blocking
The great times of playing games together
Board or card or games outdoors
But not on you

You
You dull our brains
You mess with our memories
Because all the numbers you keep
You mess with our sleep patterns
You cause us depression
And anxiety
Because we apparently need you in our lives
When in the past you were not here
And we can do it again
Even with you here

When I was younger
I would think
when I grow and hit my teen years
I could start wearing make up
I would get excited
anytime someone did my make up
As I grew older I no longer
longed to want to wear make up
for my mother told me
you look beautiful
without all that make up on
you look beautiful
Just the way you are

As I grew older
even through high school
I never wore make up
Unless it was for a dance
that my friends would then do my make up for me
For if I did my own make up
Which I was capable of putting it on
but making it look good
was the real question
No I probably couldn't
maybe with a ton of practice
but I didn't want to put the time in
to learning something new
that I didn't real care for
because I was
I am
Confident
going to school
college
out in public
On a date
oh and yes even at home
everyday
of my life
without a drop on

You see though
the thing is
I didn't get many compliments
of
you're beautiful
minus my mom
or you look gorgeous
or did I ever tell you
you look amazing without
that mask on
no
I never did except a couple times
now I am not fishing for compliments
Please tell me when you mean it and
not to make me feel better
but when I do get a compliment
I never really know what to say
I sometimes feel like I need to give
a compliment right back
but really at times I will say
thank you or stay silent and smile
I have had people tell me
you should wear make up
you will look beautiful
and then I would love to say
so I look ugly without this make up on?
I don't need to be told
But sometimes just hearing
Those compliments
Makes my day
Any girl you think doesn't get complimented much
Find something real and meaningful to say and
Compliment her
For it could really make her day
And put a smile on her face
But don't ever compliment her
And never mean it

Eyes like the galaxies
You cannot help but lose your thought
A smile that warms your heart
To the core
That you get so nervous
You still cannot remember
What you wanted to say
You look over their shoulder
For your thought process to begin again
You clear your throat
Look down
Deep breath
Just relax and
Let’s try this again

My mind is running blank
As if quicksand absorbs all my thoughts and sank
and my voice, my speech
slipping through the cracks like sand on the beach
I cannot write for my ink is out in my pen
and my thoughts are stuck in my den
I feel like I have lost my voice
but I still have a choice
I need to continue walking the path
but of course I don't need any math
because that would be absurd
Or am I insane that I just want to be heard

You only lose
When you don't get back up
And continue to cruise

My life is like a keyboard explained to you in
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
You see life isn't always perfect
Or easy going but can be rough & will be
For when it does
I try and Esc those who are poison to my life
where I just need to Tab and skip ahead a week
or maybe a month
that doesn't always work so I try and find an Alt way
if all fails
push through to the End
Shift to the new chapter 
and delete them from your life
phone 
social media and all
You see, Sometimes, subtracting people is perfect
But adding new people to your life
Can be even better and much more so rewarding
I like to enter into a long dream 
so I can wake up and start over
some days feel like I am on caps lock and everything is drastic 
or way too exciting I just need to scroll down a bit to save some energy for the rest of the day
Some days I need not be alone
but to insert myself into healthy groups
full of positive vibes and energy
if I stay with healthy relationships
my f8 should be well off
but don't quote me on that
if I ever get to crazy
feel free to tell me to backspace 
and just chill
I don't want my life to be just okay & full of JK's 
but rather full of spontaneous adventures
while trying not to be a jailbird one day
I know we belong together
for that is why W and E are next to each other
like U and I
but don't #perfect us or we are like many others
so if you could let me clear my mind
and focus that would be great
for I am @ a point
where I shouldn't be worried about $$
and the % I make
to help do things for you and I
because it isn't about 
money but taking
one letter one word at a time
Spelling out my future is up to me and me alone
Yes, it can be influenced by those around me
Or maybe I haven't let myself learn to say No
To you making decisions for me
Maybe it is about time I say goodnight
Take a rest
At home where I feel safe
Like putting pause on life to
Meditate and think about what is next
Before hitting play once again
I am not locked in a box without a key
For I am the key to  my life and
My day can be bright without you
For you have dimmed me to where
I don't even know myself
And my true self is hidden to just
To fit your mold of a friend
Or a significant other
Sometimes I need to rewind
My day in my head to reflect
On what I can do better for the next time
But for now it is time for me to say goodnight
And bid you farewell
For you were a virus to me
That I couldn't seem to get rid of
You are no longer the mouse that controls
What I do
For I connect better with those
Who are the opposite of you
And those who let me be me
And not try and control
What I do
Who I am with
Or my hobbies
I so much enjoy doing
So maybe if you still want to be my friend
Find a  copy
Oh wait
You can't for I am one of a kind
And you need to leave
So I am going full screen
Because I am me
In my own world
I know I am not the center of attention
But I have my own times to shine bright
And its not every time or everyday
But that is alright with me
Sleep tight now
For I need to recharge my batteries

How do you say you're sorry
to someone you love
right after you just stabbed them in the heart
With so sharp of words that it dug deep
You want able to be able to take it right away
But the knife sticks
And you dont fully catch what you said till minutes pass
Feeling so guilty
Stomach is churning
You just feel sick
How do you say your sorry
When it may be to late
Is forgiveness even an option
Wont know till you ask
Just hope for the best I guess

My child
Do you trust me?
Then take my hand

Close your eyes and Imagine this
Morning comes and ready to wake
Darkness
It’s all you see
You say you’re dreaming
You’re not
somehow your colorful world
turned black
you call for anyone
no one responds
remembering all are at work
you try and remember
your room
your reflection
everything

Your heart pounding
your mind and body in panic mode
you struggle trying to find your phone
to call for help
takes minutes on minutes
everyone thinks it’s a joke
for it is April 1st
to stumble from one room to another
slowly remembering where
what everything looks like
breaking down to cry
for it is all you can do

Making your way to the kitchen for some food
The easiest is cereal
For fewest things are required
The day passes and
All you can do is sit and think
On anything and everything

It’s close to bedtime
For your eyes are getting heavy
You close your eyes
When the whole day it already felt
As if you never opened them

Morning comes but afraid to open
You do so admitting you’re now blind
And will begin to adjust
You open
Color?
The room?
Your reflection?

What if for one day you were blind?

To my kid or kids I hope I have one day
I hope that I can be the best mother that I can be
Times change and are always changing and I may not always understand what you are going through
But talk to me like you would your best friend and I will always listen
I was your age once
I most likely been through what you are now just going through
My child
You are one I can call my own
You are precious
I will always love you
I know you may act out
But if I have to punish you
Learn from it and grow wiser
I discipline because I love you
There may be times you love me than hate me
Need me and then want nothing to do with me

I believe we all can’t be told something and expect to learn from it
Some things need to be learned at first hand
So you will truly know that when told something
your curiosity won’t get the best of you
Because some things are better left unlearned from
and left in a deep pit

To my child or children
I hope to have one day
When you are first conceived
I want to be praying for you
To grow up and know which path to take
When you don’t know yourself
Which road to take
For one day you might say
Shel Silverstein warned me of this

We all take paths we may never have wanted to take
Don’t regret those choices
For they will be lessons in your future and maybe others
Who choose that path and need some help
We can’t always choose the right path
For no lesson would be learned

Some paths may bring you
Hurt that started out as loving
Your heart I know may get broken or shattered at least once
Trust me when that happens they lost someone too precious
They will not know until its too late

My child or children I hope to have one day
This world is so big and full of beautiful wonders
Full of culture and things you never may have known of
Go and explore it with your family or friends
Just don’t sit everyday in front of those mindless screens
But take and I beg you
Don’t lose your common sense
Because it seems more like a rare gem these days

My child or children I hope to have one day
I hope and want you to live long enough to see you get
Married and have kids of your own one day
To see my grandkids and how much they resemble you and look much like you
One for you to call your own or many to call your own
One who will make you laugh and cry
Push your buttons
Or even upset you at times
But that is what happens
It’s a cycle we all go through at some point

My child or children
I will always
Love
Support
Care for
Be there for
Listen to
Talk to
You

I want you to have fun in life
But also be safe and responsible
Smile always
Be active and do not be lazy
For that is never fun except for when all you have been doing is running and need one of those days
Treat others like you would be treated
Even if they may not treat you right
Fire and fire only makes a bigger fire and does no good
Or shows them love and off balance
And show love to all always

My child or children
Friends are good in life to have
Choose your friends wisely
Because who your friends are could be your future
Some people may be fun
Some may not be so fun but more there for you when you need them
What do their futures look like?
I have no idea for my future and others we do not know until that time comes
Sometimes the fewer the friends the better
You may not understand now why that may be
But you will
For fewer close is better than many unreliable or untrustworthy  
I could be wrong though
Some have many friends who are all there for you but will all stay is the next question.

Women
A flower
So beautiful
That throughout time
She slowly begins to bloom
Slowly opening up to the world around her
And with the slow revealing
Seeing more and more of her beauty
Beacuse the outside
Doesn't matter
As much as the inside does
For we not only help ourselves
But the bees
Our friends
For our pollen we have
But for some
We are cut and trimmed
To be given
To someone special
To make a day
Or to remember
But like all else
Slowly withers
A life
Well lived
But never forgotten
By loved ones

I know that no matter where i am
I can always say to my Father
Up daddy up
And feel his arms around me
Holding me tight
Calming my nerves
As i focus on Him
Being held in his arms
That are always open

Now I have thought about this for a long time but recently
I asked and figured it out because I was confused on how it worked
You see in the end of Romans eight it tells us
That nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus
But in Galatians five in the end of verse 21
It says after listing the works of the flesh and that if do such things
We will not inherit the kingdom of God
I wondered how that could be because it just said in Romans
Nothing will or can separate us from the love of God
And Galatians that doing the works of the flesh even though we are saved
Cannot inherit the kingdom of God
But let us go back to Romans but back a chapter to seven
It says
“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin who dwells within me… Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.”
So it’s not us?
Yes but no because it’s our flesh
But if we commit sin and know we are committing it then it sin
Because we know the right thing to do but fail to do it
But going back to my main thought
We can go to first John and it tells us that
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”
We are confessing our sins to God
We are admitting that what we did was wrong
We are asking for forgiveness
We ask for forgiveness and can still inherit the kingdom of God
Why?
Because we are his and he calls us each by name in Isaiah
It says
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”
We are His
We are no longer conforming
Or we shouldn’t be conforming any longer to this world
We became aliens once we let Jesus in
He is alive
In us
We are a new creation the old has gone the new has come
So what are you waiting for?
Get out there and be different
Don’t just say you’re a Christian or a Christ follower
Live it out
You are a child of God
So nothing in all of creation can ****** you away from the hand of God.

It was here after the universe was created
After the creatures who walked the earth
After the water creatures swam
After everything was created
After Eve ate of the fruit of the tree

It entered the world
It made the world a place full of choices
Full of rights and wrongs
Full of rejections and acceptance
So full of choices that we can choose
Which choice to make

It was here before the first child was born
Before that innocent child
Could walk
Talk
Breathe
Or know much about what is going on

It was here before you and I were ever born
Before our parents gave birth to us
Before we made our first friend
Before all of this around us came to be

It has been here ever since the serpent in the garden
Tempted Eve and Adam stood silent
When Adam could have spoken up
But didn’t

But now that it is here we have choices
We have free will
We have the choice to choose right from wrong
Because of our sin we have nailed our Savior to the cross
To save us
To take three nails for us
To take a death that should have been our death
But no
Jesus took that death
Took our death upon himself
Even though he himself was perfect
Who committed no sin
Did nothing wrong
Was Perfect

Ever since He died on that cross for us
We now have eternal life with our Father
When one day we are able to come home
With no more pain
No more suffering
No more tears that are to be shed
But tears of Joy
We are Home and able to come home
Once we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior
When we admit that we can’t do anything on our own
That through and only through Jesus
We are saved
And can come home

But this that caused God to send His one and only Son
To die on the cross for us is because of
Sin
Sin caused that and is what brought all this upon us
Why we have free will
And choices to make
It’s all because of sin that entered the world
Through just one eating
Of one fruit
From one tree
Sin

Sin
When the
Serpent with those sly words
Interjected himself into the world to cause trouble and deceive
Never giving up till the end of the days when he is thrown back into the eternal fire

Then when the days here are done
Sin will be no more
the eternal fire full of pain and anguish
But Heaven the place free from all sin and deceit
Sin will never be near again

Every morning we wake up
get out of bed
Get dressed
Eat some breakfast
But I want to ask you this
What kind of breakfast do you have?
Do you have a bagel with some cream cheese?
Or a bowl of frosted flakes
Yea it may be the important meal of the day
For your physical health
That is
But what about your spiritual health?
Does your soul thirst for God’s loving words?
Do you long to take ten or twenty minutes out of your day
To read His words that he gave to us
And to spend time with him
Or do you forget about it and say
“I’ll read tomorrow I know will”
And the next day passes and you say the exact same thing
And it continues as each day passes by and by
You start to lose your taste for the truth we all need to hear
For the love we want to hear and feel from our heavenly father
We should be dead because of how much we don’t read His word
How much we don’t talk to him
How much we push him to the sidelines
When He longs for us to spend hours telling Him everything
Whether good or bad
He wants to hear our voices praising Him
Uplifting others around us everyday
We are alive when
We know Him and continue to know more and more
Until we fall over from being stuffed of food
That we can’t get up but think and ponder until we fall fast asleep
And dreaming about what we just learned
And what we chatted about
That’s what I want to dream of
I want to wake up and the first thing I think of is
God
And say
I am coming to my secret place to meet with you
To feast on your word
To memorize
To dig deeper than I have ever dug before
To just spend a whole day with you
Others will ask me where I have been
I’ve been trying to get a hold of you
I will be oh yea
Well I have been busy getting to know my Father
And drawing closer to him
I can just hear His voice when He is speaking to me
I spend so much time I don’t care for all this worldly stuff
In the world because it will all just disappear
But I will go out one day and tell everyone what I have learned
I want others to know who God is
What he can do
Because there is no one else like God
Who is and was able to send His only son
As the payment for our sins
So one day we are able to come home
Hear
“Well done my good and faithful servant”
That is what I want to hear
I want to wake up and thirst for my Father’s words to me
I want to hear everything he has to tell me
I don’t want to miss one word
But to take it all in and tell everyone I see
I want us to wake up starving for spiritual food
That’s what I want
I don’t want to hear
But what do you want?
I’ll be praying for you all, to long for what I long for
And to wake up thirsty and hungry for the truth
And
To have the chance to make someone’s day better
To start the day of with a positive attitude
And Joy
With a beautiful smile for all to see
And the others to see the light in you because
There is just something different about you
Be different with the light in you everyday

She is just like me
I had wanted her but I rarely pay attention to her
She sits and looks for someone to pay attention to her
Yet she will get some and then nothing
Ignored
Feeling replaced
Rejected
Unloved
Probably thinking I’d be better of alone and out of everyone’s way
Just pay attention to me
Just invite me in
Don’t leave me outside in the cold
Talk to me
Don’t just glance at me every now and then
And saying hey or something relating to the conversation
Minutes pass and I’m still as quiet as a mouse
My mind starts to wander
My heart starts to sink
My eyes just want to make a river
Take me in
Love me
As a friend
A sister
Walk with me
Talk with me
Play with me
Make me smile
Laugh
Just stop
Making me cry
And feeling left out and
Alone and
Unloved
I am like her and she is like me
We are the same in many ways
But in all its changed me and maybe her

Impossible
what is impossible?
Learning to walk after an injury
passing a test in a class you're struggling in
Or learning to love yourself when others do not
achieving your goal when even you think you can't
or raise your children alone because they left you or passed away too soon
Score a goal or hit a home run you try so hard but cut yourself short
is all that and more impossible?
No!
How do I know?
Because you are stopping yourself and making it impossible
you are the one who needs to take those steps
to move forward
To Push yourself and tell yourself that you can do it
no one else can do it for you
they may help you get started
but that's it
after that you need to drink the water
you need to believe

if it is truly impossible
then ask the one who laughs at the Impossible
because to Him nothing is impossible and everything is possible with Him
and with faith
For He heals the sick
The broken hearted
The diseases that to us are incurable
The broken bones
The moving of mountains
The calming of the storms
The addictions we ourselves can't overcome

So I ask you again
what is impossible?
or should I say why are you limiting yourself
and saying you can't
when really you can
whether it is by yourself
or with God's help

A promise
Thought would be kept
Three days later
Made empty
Left a broken heart
Sitting on the couch

In this life
We have one shot
One chance
To make the best of it

In this life we all have a choice
To follow God
Or turn the other cheek ( or way)
And do what we want
With no help
Except for some who or close to us
Family and a few friends

In this life
We can choose to be spoon fed everything
Like a mother bird feeding her young ones
And stay a baby
Or we can learn from others
Like Timothy learns from Paul
And later be a Paul who teaches Timothy

In this life
We can choose to do right
By not just yourself
But by others
So that when we pass
Good word will be passed down to others about us

In this life
We can choose to make a difference
Good
Like Jesus did who led by good example
Or bad
Like Lucifer when he thought his way was best and led to destruction and lies instead

In this life
Are many choices
Good or bad
Right and wrong
Like the act or s a t test
We all take in school

In this life
We can be alone or
Find friends to take this journey on with
Like those guys who have played tag
Ever since they have been in school
And Still play today

In this life
We have one chance
One shot
To make the most out of our life
So choose your choices wisely
For we cannot all go back and change our answer.

My Brokenness
Pieces of Me
being put back together
By you, God
you are taking my Brokenness
putting my pieces back together
showing me the way of where to go
my pieces
The map
I cannot see it
I rely on you to show me the way
once I find my way
with your help
my pieces are slowly getting glued
back together
once I hit the end of my adventure
my pieces are glued forever
as if I was never broken
for in you I am found perfect
with you I am found perfect
because that is how you see me
Perfect and unbroken

This not so dark cave
I go to train
To practice and learn
To obey and help
To practice my skills
that I have harnessed
From kicks to punches
I release my energy
Sometimes
I come angry
other days I came happy
When I leave
I am always filled with peace
so relaxed as I should be

You call me your princess
Your daughter
                                                                                           I call you my king
                                                                                                         my Father
you call me to obey
to listen to your voice
                                                                                        I do my best to obey
                                                                             listening for you still voice
you call me to love
to treat others as I wish to be treated
                                                   I love those who love me and despise me
                                                                   I treat others as if they were you
you call me to work your field
and to reap what I sow
                                                                                                 I do your work
                                                                         for your rewards mean most
Daughter
              Daddy
I love you
              I love you too
My princess

Boyfriends come and
Boyfriends go
Lessons are learned
Many tears are shed
Will you be the one to stay till death with me?
Will you be the one to build my heart together and keep it in one piece?

A smell so divine
My heart skips a beat
With a smile as big
As the east is from the west
With a beat so unique
Each and everytime

The sight so beautiful
I could dance outdoors
With a strobe light in the sky
And booming drums to follow
Echoing in my chest

You knew I would be yours
the moment you laid eyes on me
                                        Looking at you I wanted something more
                                        but I clearly didn't see
You asked me out one night in my car
hoping to hear a yes
                                        my thoughts lingered far
                                        till a day or two later you got a yes
we set a date to go to the mall
playing mini golf and eating at Bubba Gump Shrimp
                                       I had put up a small wall
                                      dressing in jeans and a sweatshirt feeling a bit
                                      wimpy                
You seemed as if you wanted to hold my hand
but couldn't get to it
                                   I admit I was nervous but wouldn't let you land
                                   even though I would have been lit
We left and I dropped you off at home
Hoping to be another day
                                        I felt a bit alone
                                        but I know I had more to say
I managed to be like glue and stick
you wanted to see me more but not over tea
                                       One day, for two months I got sick
                                       that wasn't my plan you see
you came and stayed
holding me in your arms
                                      I felt so weak all I could do was pray
                                      You had me under your spell of charms
Months later here we are
stuck tighter than glue and more like tar
                                     I'm glad you asked me
                                    giving you a change was the best thing
                                    I almost didn't see

What if I told you
that the truest form of love
doesn't come from anything
or anyone, even your special someone

What if I told you
that the truest love
is loving yourself
without wanting to change a thing
and to just accept who you are

What if I told you
that once you accept yourself
then you can truly love others
and those dearest you