Do we get what we deserve
Do I deserve the scars on my wrist
Did that little girl deserve an early death
Did that malicious man deserve a fulfilling life
Do I deserve such a kind love
Do we deserve music and poetry
O' bittersweet fate I am weary of your cruel and kind intentions
Are you my friend or foe
I know not
No longer will I let you decide what is to come...
You know what love endures.
You know to keep quiet
when the passion is at his tongue.
When his cheeks are trembling,
trembling like the hand at your side,
you know to lower your eyes
and speak kind and care.
You know what to expect
and you mark it in your mind.
When dusk makes mirrors out of windows, you know not to look too long at what's behind.
You know to walk right by.
You know it like you know yourself.
You smile like you do,
falling in line to the purpose he draws for you. As he brings you
to your feet, your eyes fix on the floor.
You know what love endures.
The world is in stage of insanity
Practically it is crazy
Heaven and earth shacking
So many un-answer questions, that I finally
Deceived to sit down with Reality
With a paper and pen to take notes, I was ready
As he began to speak, my ear opened
My eyes widened and I was focus
His voice was full of pain consumed in sadness
To understand the present and future is to understand the past
From the beginning, he started
I was curious to what Reality, had to say, I was hooked
From His eternal Palace
God decided to create
Something out of empty space
The invasion of His spoken Word and His presence
Created time and matter within the empty space insistence
With His Word, God created the universe
The animals and separated the ocean's
All within days one through six
But, we were molded by His hands for a purpose
He breathed the breath of life into us
Created in His image, pure, naked and perfect
He was the first surgeon
Out of the ribs of men God made the women
So that by their seed the earth will be inhabited
He gave us free will as a love token
We are not made to be robots
So that our love towards Him will be genuine not forces
As His love is towards us
With a choice comes the test
You may eat off any tree accept
The tree of good and evil He said
Obedience to His comment brings life
Disobedience to His comment brings death
They were placed in the garden
That's where everything began
The stage was set
To be continued....
Living through dying
Ridden on arrows
Through eyes and insides
Bound by order
By law and by consequence
See: cause into effect
Life awakens death
All of everything
Is stuck in time
So we are free
Within a prison
Within a time
We all will die
Within a prison
In due time
I never knew why standing on a balcony was so unnerving—
Why driving across a bridge,
Or around a mountain with only a short railing,
Made me question reality and life itself.
Tucking me in that night before you went home,
When we talked for an hour about Agency and Free Will,
Before you finally kissed me and left me to think in the dark:
My eyes were open wide as I learned that feeling's name.
"It's like how I could scream, right now?" I asked
And you nodded, "But something keeps you from doing it."
"I don't want to wake up Mom," I laughed.
He smiled and said, "And it would hurt my ears if you did."
Then a conversation later, after you blew a kiss
You turned out the light, and I lay in the dark.
I could jump out my window right now, I thought.
There's nothing physically stopping me.
what about the future?
what about the past?
well, what about the present?
right now there’s so much going on,
like how i can feel the vibration of the mower
in the distance,
the little scratchy nubs all over my body.
i’m trying to see from behind the scratches on my glasses
but my eyes are so drawn to the 9000 shades of color that
are so pervasive and sensitive.
and your talking is hummed and hushed,
like your morals,
because you fail to practice what you preach,
and what i’m figuring out in the present is that
i’m doing the same exact thing to myself maybe slower,
now, it seems, but
somehow even quicker.
and the clutches of that Mazda clutch we crashed
when we were fourteen are crouching to my level,
trying to say hello but all i hear are bubbles
in the pond where your little sister tried to drown herself.
the spiraling candy slide has me nauseous and ready
to spew chunks all over mom’s new ornaments,
and the plane changes again, the doctor’s office
and white gloves reaching inside my mouth to shut off
my anxiety, my perplexity,
to show me the worm inside that’s making this happen.
but all he pulled out was my brain, entirely whole,
and i snatched it from his hands
and smothered my hunger
with such a satisfying snack,
what the fuck did i just do? Was it that Demon called Panic that, personified as moi,
took me on that train
without my permission?
i really will never know what it is that i have
that is so special enough to be able to see
all 9000 colors in the spectrum.
they’re so vivd, it scares me, honestly,
and in the dark i feel fine, because there’s nothing
to see, but,
in the light, for real this time,
i wish somebody would take out
and walk me like a
dog for the rest of my life.