old receipts turning yellow with such beautiful stories
keeping the last bit of memories through flower petals
and old letters with no meaning left to it any more
colourful lights lit red green yellow and blue hanging on my wall since when you gave it to me
old pictures taped to the wall with friends you haven't spoken to in months

but all this doesn't matter to me
the memories are kept safe
and the nostalgia in my bedroom lives on

have you've ever taken that one candid picture  
so pure and precious
there's a difference between a photo that is staged and perfect and a picture that no one knew was taken
in that one picture, no one is trying so hard to be perfect

I had my new years kiss

12.00am
you were waiting until the clock hit midnight
and you kissed me

I had my new years kiss
it just wasn't with the right person

I learned today
that for eyes to be like oceans
they don't have to be blue

i drowned in his eyes

she loved him because he reminded her of home
the way he neglected her
made her feel worthless
how he made her wonder why she will never be good enough

she loved the way he would shower her with attention one day and then completely forget about her the next
how every time they moved a step forwards a moment later they fall back to the beginning

she especially loved how she barely knew him
never getting close and intimate enough to actually get hurt

and most importantly,
what she really loved was how he would never truly love her the way she did him

you make me feel so worthless
you tried to leave
i thought i was enough to keep you going
why did you try to go
was i not enough?
youre still alive
but are you really?
-i thought i was enough

you make me feel unlovable
you make me wonder why I'm not good enough
why I will never be enough for you

i know you dont feel the same
but your hugs mean the world to me :)

and there we were
back at the place I first met you
the place I fell for you at

and I realized that day
that you are the one
and you always were

...you always will be

i want to know you
i want to really know you

i want to know all your secrets
i want to know all your crazy stories
i want to know all the freckles on your face
i want your atoms to know mine
i want to know what makes tears drip from your beautiful blue eyes
i want to know what makes your ecstatic smile
i want to know what makes you tremble from fear
and what makes you want to rise every morning
i want to know what love means to you
i want to know everything about you

i know it's scary
but i want to know you
i really want to know you
every bit of you

we went into a relationship very fast
about 5 seconds after my breakup
you were just a rebound
a way to get over him at first

but now
i really like you

I know we're meant to be
I'm just waiting for you to figure that out too

to some
hope is just a word
to some its a feeling

how is it
that im only 14
and ive already hit rock bottom
i dont know how much deeper i can go

how is it
that im only 14
and alcohol and drugs are the only things keeping me alive
and making me happy

how is it
that im only 14
and i wanna die
why would someone wanna die so young

how is it
that im only 14
and ive already witnessed too many suicides
my mom trying to leave me each time
how am i supposed to love her again

how is it
that im only 14
and i dont wanna be on this planet anymore
with too many scars on my wrists
and cracks in my heart

why am i so sad

"don't smoke cigs
they **** you"

well maybe that's what I want
it may not **** me right away
but its helping
and that makes me happy

I don't exactly know you yet
we haven't been talking for long
you don't really know me yet
but id tell you anything
I trust you

I feel like I've known you forever
you seem so familiar I want to know you forever

you feel like home.

you came into my life as a saviour
as if you'd fix all the broken pieces
as if you'd always be there
as if you'd stay
in the end, you left
leaving my soul with bandaids
soon the bandaids began to peel
and you werent there to save me

-you left me even more broken

as poets
thank the pain
thank the sorrow
for it gives you something to write about

as poets
don't take the beautiful moments for granted
don't be afraid of happiness
because that too is something to write about

as poets
appreciate everything life throws at you

you think you're not enough
but you're everything I'm looking for

i can care less that we aren't dating anymore
i just wish you would've stayed
i miss my best friend

you know when you're broken when
nothing makes sense anymore
why do we do anything when we're all gonna die anyway
why do we get close to people when they're always gonna leave

no one is going to be there for you forever so what's the point of getting close to anyone
what's the point in showing all your love and affection to someone when all they're gonna do is hurt you

why do we try in school when what all school gives to us are depression and sadness
why do we work so hard to succeed in life when we're all gonna die one day
and we will all be forgotten one day, its inevitable

you know you're broken when the only thing that makes you happy is
stolen bottles of *****
the tiniest bit can go a far way
when smoking **** makes you smile and laugh more than you ever have in your life
when drugs and alcohol are the only things that make you happy

you know you're broken when you don't love or hate anyone
and you don't care enough to do so
you don't care enough to do anything anymore
just waiting until the beautiful day you die

and when that day comes you'll be the happiest

that's how you know you're broken

she loved the beach
and his eyes held the most beautiful ocean in them

I want to trust
but I can't
and I don't know if I ever will again

there was a time I trusted
far beyond the stars and moon

then one day it came crashing down like a meteor falling out of space
so out of place, it lies there broken
in an unknown place

here I am in a familiar place
not knowing where I am
who am i

i know everyone here not trusting a single soul
because they've all hurt me
always to leave

so here i am standing alone
in an unknown world
i don't want anyone

not anyone whos gonna leave
or hurt me
no one

id rather be alone

do you ever fall for someone so hard?

so hard where you see the world in their eyes
when you see your happiness in their smile
when everything they do and say is adorable
when everything they say just makes sense
when every song and poem is about them
when all you wanna do is be in their arms forever