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sankavi Oct 8
i went to my first concert
it was the best thing ive ever been to
everyone was so alive
i felt so alive
it was all such an "in the moment" experience


i wish life was a concert
  Sep 25 sankavi
I like to believe, we meet people for a reason,
Wether God sent me to change your life,
Or God sent you to change mine.
sankavi Sep 25
i think I'm ok
i feel ok

i think im happy
i think things in my life are finally going well

i know it sounds stupid
but i strongly believe all things happen for a reason
even if you're at your lowest
trust me it won't last

if something terrible has just happened
dont worry it'll teach you something important

every single person on this planet impacts someone in a positive way somehow

i don't know
i just believe whoever created this universe has a plan for us
and all you can do is trust that

I'm ok
everything is going to be ok
sankavi Sep 17
i dont know how this happened
i dont know how i went from loving you so much
to the point where just talking to you filled my heart
to resenting you, and hating you for no good reason

no this is not about a boyfriend or a lover
an ex or a husband
this is about my old best friend

we were inseparable
the closest you could be
but then we started drifting
like the waves in a sea
i made new friends and so did she

there was no fight and no argument
but now i just cant stand her
everything about her just bothers me

i once saw a pure-hearted person
but all i see is evil when i think of her

i dont know why i dont like her
i have no reason not to

i dont know why i feel this way
but i do
  Sep 8 sankavi
my arms remember razor blades and spiked needles
and my veins ache to feel the warmth of her
swimming perfectly through my bloodstream
and engulfing my every fear, my every desire
until i am nothing but a pool of sticky tar

my nostrils burn without the powder
flying into my brain, and dripping down my throat
keeping me awake for days on end
and opening up my mind for my pen
shaking as i hold it to the paper; scribble

my tongue dwells on the bitter taste of hallucinogens
that made me dance in the coldest rain
and swim in the smallest pools of warm blood
that erupted from the belly of an orange tiger
who held my hand, and danced to the beats

my stomach remembers the feeling of pill bottles
emptied out; the tablets dissolved
coaxing me into warm slumbers, and forgetfulness
i miss the feeling of letting go
of love, of pain, of regret
  Sep 8 sankavi
Hannah W
Surely it isn't healthy
to be this attached to someone
who has only ever called me beautiful
when his mind was soaked in alcohol

Why won't you love me?
sankavi Sep 8
i am an addict.
i have always been an addict since as far as i can remember

i easily get addicted
to people
to bad habits
to drugs and alcohol
to the past

i am an addict
but i don't want to be one anymore

i am letting go of the people i put far too much time into
too much emotion and care without getting anything in return
i am done letting the people who dont care about me to have so much power over me

i am go of bad habits
i am done hurting myself, this one is going to be hard because self-harm is the best way i know how to cope with how i am feeling. i know its not healthy and hurting myself may make me feel better at the moment but will only make things worse

i am letting go of drugs and alcohol. i cant keep ruining my life just to escape reality for a bit then just snap back into reality and do it again. my body is my home and whether i like it or not it will always be. i need to take care of myself

and finally, i am letting go of the past
i need to stop reminiscing about the past and only think about the present and future
i cant change anything that has happened, i cant make the people who have left my past and i definitely cant force broken bonds back to normal no matter how much it hurts

i am an addict
and i have been for as long as far as i can remember
but i dont want to be one anymore
dear clayton,
very formal i know ****. but this poem is kind of for you but more for myself. you just helped me realize i spend way to much time caring about other people and focusing on them instead of myself. i care about you a lot and i dont think that will ever change but since we started talking again ive been so hung up in how we used to be and trying to force us back to that even though that will never happen. we can be a new us but its never going to be the same. i am completely over you now but talking to you just brought back those feelings but i now realize they werent real and i just missed loving someone as much as i loved you so i forced those feelings back. but it doesnt work like that. you hurt me a lot, like a lot, yet you somehow still have so much power over me, i trust you so much even though you give me no reason to and i would literally do anything to make you happy even though itll hurt me, and thats not ok. i still want you to be my friend but i need you to give me a reason for me to want to do that, but if you dont want to talk thats completely ok. i dont know youre probably never going to read this anyways. goodnight, i love you as a friend
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