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  Sep 26 sankavi
Chris Ellison
We are not free
We are slaves to the system
When we as for help
You just pretend to listen
But when we speak out
We as individuals are shut put

So go ahead and tell me where you went to college
Looking down the barrel of a loaded gun, which is your knowledge
You tell me that I don't have potential
I don't give a **** about your ******* credentials

But still
You shove it down my throat
expecting me not to choke
you expect me to listen to you
when you won't even listen to me

Now here I am

What if you heard that the next day I chose the rope instead of the books
Do you feel how wrong this looks
What would you do then?
Would you still be sipping drinks in your den
Or would you realized that you should have handed me a piece of paper and a pen

STILL
You continue to feed the flame

So I say **** the system
They won't listen
Chris Ellison
  Sep 26 sankavi
Dongdongi Ralte
I often envisioned us together ;
You were a poem i was madly in love with.
I could see the verses in your eyes,
Oh with just three words you'd be mine.
Sadly, i was just another forgotten rhyme.
sankavi Sep 26
it's 5:30 in the morning
and no matter what show I put on
or what book I read
I can't keep my mind off you

why can't I stop loving you?
I hate the way you make me feel
the way you ignore me for days, weeks, months
I hate you so much
so then why can't I stop being in love with you

it's 5:30 in the morning
and I just keep thinking about you
the first time we met
you talked to me like we had known each other for years
you said you liked my doc martens
you said "I'm gonna be that cool friend who gives you a nickname"

I remember the first time you actually called me by my name
I was skipping class and I saw you and waved and you waved back
someone told you not to wave like that
and you said "but sankavi waved to me"
and then I said "aw you said my name" and you told me not to make it a big deal

I remember the first and only time we hugged
I was walking and I saw you and you just opened your arms
it was the most awkward hug because while it still means so much to me you probably don't even remember your friend asked if I was your girlfriend and I said "ew no" probably shouldn't have said that.
I got in trouble that day because I kept walking around during math with you and someone gave you a box of chocolate that you through on the ground and then picked up and I was stealing you pop from my math end-of-year party.

I remember the day I knew I loved you
we went to the school dance together. we were supposed to go with the guy you thought I liked it too but he didn't show up thankfully. the dance got boring so we left and sat in the park. you asked me "if you were to date anyone in the school who would it be" and I remember wanting to say you so badly but I just couldn't work up the nerve to do so.

it's 5:30 in the morning
and I'm here writing about you, crying about you, thinking about you
while you're sleeping

I hope one day I'll mean at least half as much as you mean to me
I love you but I really do hate you
sankavi Sep 25
i am ready to drop everything for this boy
I am ready to pack my things and run away
I am ready to live for him
I am ready to die for him
I am ready to do anything for him

I wish hed do the same
sankavi Sep 5
10 months
its been 10 months
and after all this time I still cant get over you

finding people who don't care
men I cant trust

trying to feel anything
anything at all than the love I feel for you

I'm happy I love you
and I know you love me too
but I know you're not in love
I know you'll never love me more than I love you

I would do anything for you
I need you to know that
anything at all to make you happy
the happiest you could possibly be

I care about you so much that it hurts most of the time
all I want is for you to care about me

to think about me like I think about you
every second of everyday

I think I love you so much that I hate you
I hate everything about you but I love everything too
I just want you too stop existing so I could stop feeling this way
but then yet again you make me wanna live everyday

I just want to be friends with you without being in love with you
WHy is that so hard?
sankavi Jul 16
I do not like you
I do not love you
I am addicted to you

no not like "you're so cute I want to be with you forever" kind of sweet innocent addiction
no, not at all

******, you are like ****** to me

when I am with you I feel warm, fuzzy, euphoric.
without, I am throwing up, dizzy, unable to get myself out of bed

I get over you, I don't see you for days, weeks, months

I'm clean.

though I'm clean now, you are still always on my mind.

you are not good for me
you are killing me
yet still
I need you so bad


relapse.
sankavi Jun 15
there's something about you
something so beautiful and powerful,
yet so evil and scary

you come and you go
texting when you're bored
and leaving as you please

you have a noose around me,
you know?

you keep me close
but always let go
and every time you come and go

the noose gets tighter
and tighter
tighter
tighter
t
i
g
h
t
e
r
until there's no more
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