You have traveled thousands of miles
From East to West

Resting upon times
Blindly heading toward the future
The times you've taken those fives
It'll bloom even brighter

Now you can run as far as you want
Till you lose your breath;
but not your pace
Fear not, you have paved your own way then

The future is gonna be okay;
and I'll still be here to stay
Till you have reached your destination

Repeat my name in each verse
Flowing within melodies

Sing me to sleep
A lullaby or a love verse
Take me into a new universe
Every time you say my name

Repeat this tune
And play it all-day
Until the day comes
We could be in each other's arms

Don't carve me out, I am not a diamond
Because I still got a mask to hold on to.
I can't let this facade loose, so I can face on the world

Nights after nights
These juices keep seeping inside me,
Getting me blinded by those artificial lights

Holding it high, grabbing it by the fragile neck
Pouring it all at once, shots by shots
As I keep dawning myself till I can't hold on no more
Darkness started to invade, putting me to have a good night's rest.

Does it even matter anymore?
                To put together a broken ceramic.
                               It's Art they say; but few understand.

                Does it even matter anymore?
                               To put on garments around my feets
                                              That are used to the shards.

Sometimes I questioned myself,

What does my existence mean to others?

What roles do I have

Being around society.

Am I just a pierrot?
Am I your stress ball?
Am I your mirror on the wall? or
Am I just your add-ons to your cart?

Am I written on your favorite list?
Am I categorized at the end of the list?
Am I reaching my expiry date? or
Am I just a mystery bundle that's so bizarre?

I've always thought that I have healed myself from the open wound before. But I've never realized that all this time, I'm just covering up my wounds along with the changing of seasons.

The spring breeze;
    that blows my past worries away with the dancing sakura petals
The bright summer sun;
    that reaches upon my darkest corner, showering me with its
    utmost warmth
The changing color of leaves;
    that turns my life resolution from monochromatic to vivid hues
The cold white snowstorm;
    that keeps piling up, upon my open wound

Not even the four seasons could ease the pain,
Nor the mesmerizing landscape could help me escape
Nothing, but myself to end this war alone...

Till the ends of time, until another season comes;
these struggles keep goes on...

Admit it.
That you're a potato that grows underneath the soil.

Admit it.
That your roots have been spreading along within earth.

Admit it.
That nobody has tried to dig a hole.

Admit it.
That one day, you'll grow beneath the ground.

Admit it.
That you'll grow stronger roots and eventually a branch.

Admit it.
That you'll grow into a big, tall tree.

Acknowledge it,
starting from beneath the ground, you will gain even stronger roots to hold you up until now.
The planted roots, to support you,
that has grown into a bigger tree, heading up towards the blue sky.

Everything has been torn to pieces
just like how old roses falls
there is nothing left to show,
not even specks of dust,
from every single side, front to back,
nothing have been left behind.

Hardships, despair, lost,
they say every goodbye comes with a new start,
but what I get have always been a goodbye.

Old dead roses fade away
and so is my existence
the once sharp thorns started to blunt
just like how bland my days have become

But every day is a new life, a new page,
roses will grow again,
prickling its thorns to those who hurts
Standing tall and pretty,
Just like how I will stand for myself,
Rejuvenate and grow
along with those roses loved by everyone
And until then, I will become,
that roses behind every thorns.

through art, it conceals
through art, it reveals

I speak symbolism,
only eyes and mouths that bear the fruition of my words can seek for truth

let the wind blows, let the storm howls
be it a fault or a foul,
only those eyes and mouths that bear the fruition of every truth I hold
could seek for clarity within them all

I was born for agony, not harmony
I was born to ride the waves, not streams

through art, it suppresses
through art, it unveils

I never told you that I was always good.
Nor do I told you that I was always true.

15th August:

It supposed to be my grand day,
Where people celebrates my birth,
Throwing parties and hand shakes,
Spelling out birthday wishes,
Gifts,
Cakes,
Hugs,
and kisses.

In reality,
I wasted my grand day.
I sit back and isolate myself.

It was supposed to be my grand day,

But I felt that it doesn't even matter,
to not celebrate it anyways.

It was supposed to be my grand day,

But nothing can stop my dull emotions,
and decided to let my day goes away.

It was supposed to be my grand day,

But no one seem to care about it anyways,
and so I kept my second week of August dull,
avoiding conversations and outings.

2 months ago, I had a dream,
of me, lying down in my death bed.
I screamed out of frustration of being death,
but gladly, it was only a dream,
that woke me up from my bed.

It was supposed to be my grand day,

Where I would be the main character on the 15th August,
Doing things I could not do, and
Enjoying the luxury for one day.

It was supposed to be my grand day,

That I must be grateful,
that I lived,
and aged another year,

But somehow...
These days...

I felt that birthdays are just another day,
and I felt there is no necessary need to celebrate it.

It was supposed to be my grand day,

But these days, I don't even mind about these things,
I am not that old yet, but
Seeing through my days,
Putting a full stop to my timeline
would still be an okay for me.

I am not a big fan of chocolates,
I am not a big fan of cheese,
I am not a big fan of snacks,
I never can drink any sodas,

Yes, I consider myself different.

I never had been drunk,
I never overeaten foods,
I never went out night,
I never had been involved in a community,

Yes, I do feel that I am different,

at least I saw it from my narrow point of view.


But I'm no different from the others,

One thing that everyone has been doing for months and years,

Writing poems in Hello Poetry,
expressing each story, or just some random words.

The days when I met you had been 5 nights,
Seeing all stars and sun moves,
I tilted around your centrum,
Forcing me to get dragged down by your gravity,
Leaving me spinning around your orbit.

Nothing seems to amused me,
I got no interest in some things for now.
Interaction have gone to minimum,
but food keeps me awake.

The fear i had for words around me,
logophobia they named it.
Anxiety keeps kicking in like a gun to my weak heart,
leaving me on guard to my surroundings.
Frustrated over nothing,
tears come falling down in dawn.

The tightening of chains in my chest,
started to bleed slowly, killing me inside.
If life is going to be this tough,
why do I need to get involved?

If there is a term to explain this,

Is this the start of depression?

I am ready to accept my fate,
I am not afraid of this path you have chosen, Lord,

I have no rights to enjoy things in this world,
I have no will to stay too long,

If tomorrow never comes to me,
If my eyes would not open in daylight,

I am ready to take my fate,
I am ready for Your time,

I am here Lord,
I surrender and give all my life back to You,

But if You had Your plan on me,
I am willing to accept that as well,

If You Lord, have planned another route for me,
I will thank you Lord for this second chance,

And I will take this opportunity to give my everything for You,
For You have trusted me all along,

I will walk away from my fears,
I will walk in Your light,

For I,

am not afraid to DIE.

I'm scared of pain,
I'm scared of blood,
I'm scared of heights,
I'm scared of blades,

maybe that's why ending my life would be

mission impossible for me.

I'm scared of clowns,
I'm scared of spiders,
I'm scared of horrors,
I'm scared of dark rooms,

I guess that's why I seem to live up my days,

holding against all hardships, troubles, and fear in me,

leaving "the end" out of my bucket list,

for all of my cowardliness has saved me instead.