It's one o'clock.
Yes, one.
And you know what?
I'm done.

With hurt, and heart breaks,
With dirt, and headaches.

It's one o'clock.
Yes, one.
And you know what I've come to realize?
It's only just begun.

Man that I am
Man that I was
Both are men
That I seek to forget

But here I am
The man I've become
The product of my decisions
Boyhood
No longer

But I take heart
For I am young
And mistakes
May be attributed
To youth

Yes I will learn
To be the man I'm becoming
And to make him a man
Worth being

Uprooted
Time and time again
Transplanted from my comfort zone
To a new place where I have no friends
Shipped off
Away from those I love
Forced to start over from scratch
In a new and hostile living environment
Thrown out
Kicked to the curb
Sent sprawling to the pavement
Isolated once again from all I'm used to

Is it any wonder I'm messed up?
I've got nowhere to call my own
I've been forcefully torn away from
Every place I've ever called home

All that is good
Is not always beautiful

All that is beautiful
Is not always happy

All that is happy
Is not always good

He stands as a pillar of stone
A guard
At the door
To the passage
To his heart

He made his mistakes
Once
He won't again
No
Never again

Love cost him dearly
Now anger
Costs him
Love

She sits on her bed
And cries
All alone
Because the man
That she loved
Threw her away

Treated her like trash
For a woman who is

Love cost her dearly
Now hate
Cost her
Love

They sit
On opposite
Sides of the room
They don't talk
If they did
They would just
Fight
Again

Both sure that they're right
They won't compromise
So stuck in their ways
They just
Won't
Budge

Love cost them dearly
Now apathy
Cost them
Love

Love is not the
Warm fuzzies
When you're with them
It's commitment
It's compassion
It's forgiveness
It's pushing through to the end
True love starts
When the warm fuzzies are gone
What's left
Is
Love

Warm tears run down my face
The pain to great for my heart to bear
It breaks
At losing you
But my love is tenacious
And yours alone, my Rachel
I have caused you heartache
I have brought you shame
But know that you are sacred to me
A gift from God
And still, my love is yours

I am not yet complete
Not yet competent
Nor worthy of your love
Yet in vows now written
Unspoken
And still, my love is yours

My soul is wrenched from it's moorings
My mind now must face my flaws
No longer can I hide in false naivety
And still, my love is yours

Mark my words, Sweet Treasure
Watch for the day, My Beloved
For I will make you proud

*And still, my love is yours

This mortal vein
These mortal eyes
This mortal skin
These all will die
This fading light
These fading dreams
This fading hope
These hearts that scream
This burning lie
These burning fears
This burning soul

I shed no tears

Time marches on
and also do soldiers
and widows
and orphans
and property holders
and days become weeks
and weeks become years
and rain soaks the ground
and also do tears

My mind is flooded with questions
Whose answers are beyond me
Like what will I face
When finite breaks to infinity
Or
When my life crumbles
Can I count on you
To stick with me
And
I know I went too far
But can someone still love me
As I search the rubble
For my new identity


Never before has the end of a chapter
Been so tangible
And I'm still turning the page
No fourth wall to break
And if the world is a stage
My life is a terrible play

Not everyone's a critic
But they all give a review

I stood
On the edge of the sky
As the Mountain danced below me
I stood
In blanket stars
As the trees sang melodies of old

Her lips may drip honey
But her teeth drip blood
She'll spend all your money
She'll squander your love

She's got no good intentions
She's got no noble cause
And all her inventions
Are deadly as claws

Beware the Bad Woman
She's pretty as a follower
She's bad things a-comin'
She'll leave you sad and sour

The wit of the tongue is brevity,
The wit of the mind is thought,
The wit of the soul is levity,
The wit of the fool is naught.

Hi.
My name is Carl.
Carl the Untouchable.

One day I saw a picture
In the paper
Of a girl.
The caption read
"KIDNAPPED! The Princess of the World!"

So I opened up the article
And I began to read
About a terrible villain
Whose heart was filled with greed

He stole the princess
Late one night
And when the morning came
The world awoke to find
It's greatest heroes had been slain

And in the face of dual disaster
No one had been found
To liberate the princess
And bring her captor down

So with a sigh I folded the paper
And opened my closet wide
And dug through all the useful things
I had kept inside
I found a sword and a wooden shield
And strapped them to my side
And also a blue bicycle
On which I planned to ride

My mind and heart
Locked in violent war
My heart beats of rebellion,
Of liberation
My mind holding to its corruption

Year after year the war has raged
My heart backed by the Devine
My mind a tyrant
Backed by a traitor
A master of lies

And I know
That when the endgame comes
My heart shall take the day
But as of now
Its trenches are deep

To war

I am at your service
Your wish is my command
But you say you want me to be strong
So I'll fake it till I am
I think I could fight an army for you
If I could muster up my own
I won't pretend I'm superman
But I'll make your house a home

Not looking for a conquest
I don't need to get my rocks off
I just want to see the world
And you're coming with.

I need to write a happy song
Something to break through this
Grey fog of emotion
This putrid state of
"Meh"
This perpetual cycle of internal mental apathy
After all

Complacency kills.

Set me loose like the dogs of war
Unleash the beast I can't control anymore
I've fought my demons but my strength begins to fail
I can feel the cracks forming in the boat that I sail

There are creatures at the gate
I fight alone night and day
There are creatures at the gate
Will they ever go away?
There are claws at the window
There are teeth at the door
There's a shriek from the basement
I can't fight them anymore

But still you're none the wiser
To the monster in the man
So feed me your tranquilizer
And catch me if you can

Not a humble beast
No my name is pride
I'm hungry for a feast
And I've got you in my sights

Steel hull diving deep like a submarine
Run swift and silent through the ruby sea
A steady handed skipper
Holds tight to the helm
The keel runs true
And cuts the sea in two

So **** the torpedoes
And full speed ahead
This hull clad in iron
Watch the red wake spread

Am I just a ***** up?
No.
I was made for more.

You're a long way off kid.
Not a single thing about you is ******* up.
Well, nothing but your self image.
That's way out of whack.

You're a good kid.
Creative.
Smart.
Likable.
Where'd you get the idea that you're a ***** up?
Not from me. That's for sure.

So stop listening to the little man on your left shoulder.
He's got nothing good for you.

Now.
Focus.

My God.
What have I done?
What have I done?

I lie here awake
That's good. It's morning.
But my eyes still burn for sleep
Too bad. Get up.
My thoughts don't flash in the usual way, but ooze: Jello down a slight decline
Don't care. Get up.
My arms are weighed down by exhaustion
There's work. Get up.
But...
Get.
Up.




Fine.

Twelve days.
That's how long it will be
Until the last thirteen years of my life
Mean almost nothing
Twelve days.
Twelve.
Twelve days.
That's how long it will be
Until the relationships I spent
So much time building
Fade away
Twelve.
Twelve days.
That's how much time I have left
Until I'm forced into a world where
No one knows my name, my face, or
What I've done
The image of myself
That I spent my time building
An unknown.
The work
Wasted
My self identity
Purged
Without my permission
Forced to rebuild myself
From the ground up
Who will I be?
Who will I be?
Who will I be?

What's with all the sadness?
What's with all the grief?
What's with all the broken hearts,
That cannot find relief?

I know this world has sorrow,
And often beats you down,
But why dose every poet seem,
To always have a frown?

Do they never see the beauty?
The wonder that I see?
Instead of death and chaos,
Can we get some harmony?

The sky may gray in winter,
But summer turns it blue.
And though pain plagues the best of us,
We have to push on through.

So what's with all the sadness?
what's with all the grief?
I see the world with gladness,
And that's my firm belief.

Eyes alive as fields in spring,
A face that glows in love,
A tender heart now willed to sing,
A girl, as fair as a dove.

How can I
Mere mortal man
Write verse and rhyme of Venus?
For She is Herself
Poetry
These black days
These barren days
That turn my soul to ash
And char the fibers of my soul
And all because I must be away from Her

I am drained
In the absence of my Venus
I am pained
By the space now forced between us

But I will overcome the fractures
Not bested by this distance
For always has She been
Just beyond
The morning
The  horizon
The road
The hallway
Yet through these barriers
I have persevered
I have roared at the enemies that keep me from Her
I will not rest
No
I will not be satisfied
No
I will wager my everything on Her
Yes
For Venus
My all

God gave mankind that old Rock and Roll
So maybe just maybe it can save my soul
God gave to mankind them old moody blues
So that my good friend is path I choose
So here I sit
And strum my guitar
And with each note
I wage holy war

What will I do without you?
You've always been around.
You never missed a birthday,
And you've never let me down.
Your humor lighted atmospheres
Your wisdom enlightened minds
Your knowledge built up through the years
The love that we'd always find.

But what will i do without you?
You've always been so proud of me.
The pain at the thought of losing you,
Makes tears well up in me.

I love you grandpa.

Green elms in the woods
Give breath to mother earth
Standing tall and proud

I do not want to
Write another haiku
So I think I won't

A big cardboard box
For a refrigerator
Imagination

A leather chair
It's comfy
And the headrest actually fits!
The woman
A nurse of some sort
Explains **** near everything
"This does blaahhh
And that does bluhhhhh
And this other thing does
Blegghhhhh"
Thanks.
Let's just get it over with
Then in comes the dentist
Well
He's an oral surgeon
He tells me his name
And hooks up an IV
And in goes the anesthesia

                    BLACKNESS

A comfy chair
I must be coming to
But in the office?
Then I hear the cat
Ohhhhhh
I'm home
Ok
Cool.
What do you mean?
All I can eat is ice cream?
And mashed potatoes?
Ughh... I wish I was back asleep.

He is powerless
A mere pawn in a greater plan
His struggle is
The path he has chosen to follow but
He is blessed
For out of utter destruction
They will rise
At my command like a Phoenix from the dust
Because I know
That is what makes him weak
So I strike
He has left his guard down too often
But this time
He is prepared to do battle
He has learned
To watch for phantoms in the night
He will not
Let the ones he cares for fall
Not this time
Not ever again

I looked once upon
A house made of fire
It blazed
An unquenchable
Inferno

And in it lives a man
With writing on his arms
The meaning
Incomprehensible
To all
But he

He sits on the floor
And he writes and writes
And waits
For the day
His message is heard

Yes I looked once upon
A house made of fire
And I looked once upon
The man
And he smiled at me
And he
Motioned
To the words scrawled
Upon his arms

But I
Like the rest
Could not comprehend
The meaning
To the message before my eyes

I am a creator,
a builder
a maker.

Bringing substance to the void,
brings me the greatest sense of joy.

A blank page.
A clean slate.
I draw out form,
and bring forth shape.

And I am a musician,
a lyrical magician.
The man.
The myth.
The mission.
My own unique rendition,
In every composition.
                                                                                  BUT
Can you identify my theory?
I'll be shocked if you're correct.
If this is sonic engineering,
then I'm a sonic architect.

And I am an inventor
A leader,
A dissenter,
A believer,
A protester,
A deceiver,
And a mentor,
A compatriot,
An apprentice,
A confederate,
An accomplice.

And I am a teller of stories,
of horrors, and of glories.
And I am a writer of tales,
of triumphs, and travails.

And I am a creator.
A builder.
A maker.
A musician and a writer.
Not a lover, nor a fighter,
Not a fixer,
Nor a breaker.
Not a giver,
Nor a taker.
                                                                                                  No.
I am a creator

I am a broken man
Who doesn't know how broken he is
I am an addict
Who hates the drug



I am lonely



I can feel my isolation
Every night as the demons I dream of
Spill over into my waking life




I am lonely




I hurt the people I love
I act before I think
I am the most destructive force I know







I am lonely







I am so lonely

N'chosi bashana co tyu raitiko
Sa lawa K'foga to yasho m'koko
A'wari Manala potesy sko'ma
N'gesi, Nigosi, Namasi choma
Amali tokr'rme dun'krenksi gawet
Dol'trenti moraki alkanti un'get
To yasho potesy salaka colo
N'chosi sa lawa n'gesi d'yro

Know what I'm saying?

Signs point in different directions
Art>
<Science
History^
Oddities¿

Art:
Every memory of every sunrise
Every beautiful melody
Here.
And so many images of her.
Some sweet
Some candid
Some sad.
How can we revel in the joyful
Without knowing it's opposite?
Every delicate poem
Every lyric yelled
Every painting
Every sculpture
And in all of them,
Her.

Science:
Models of molecules
Diagrams of data
Sketches
(Where are the equations?)
Math is forbidden in this museum.
Lectures
Theories
All gathering dust.

History:
Names.
The greatest of men and women
Julius Caesar
Constantine
Marc Anthony
Cleopatra
Rosa Parks
Elinor Roosevelt
Patton
Churchill
Kennedy
MLK

Maps and charts
Famous cities of old
Sparta
Alexandria
The halls of Montezuma
Constantinople
Babylon

Oddities:
Phantom Kangaroos
Homemade Bazooka
"That made the news?"
And Bubblegum the Baluga

The Raven Empress
Flaming mattress
Sharks with lasers
Pandas with Tasers

Lightsabers and blasters
Jedi and Sith
Snow Speeders and AT-AT's
CURSE YOU REBEL ****!
Let's blow up the Death Star!
Dagoba awaits!
Use the force Luke
There... is... another...
Leah...
LEAH????
Ewwwwww she kissed him!
No. I. Am your father!
Whaaaaaaaat!?
Never tell me the odds!

I haven't been full
Since I don't know when
Or set foot in a mall
Since like two thousand ten
As for Christmas let's say
It's a good thing that it's the thought that counts

I don't have enough gas
To visit my girlfriend
I don't have enough cash
(I probably won't til the worlds end)
I can barely afford to get lunch at school!
So thanks Mrs. Obama for ruining that too!

I'm just so freaking sick of being poor.
I just want food in the fridge. Nothing more.

I need something
But not from a bottle or a bowl
I need something
But not drugs
To make me whole

I need a light
I need a magic wand
I need to hold someone tight
I need a deeper bond
I need a little more respect
I need my voice to be heard
I need someone who understands
And takes me at my word

I need a break from all the pain
And I need time to heal
I need someone who knows my dreams
And wants them to be real

You've done your best to help me
My thanks to you is great
But really what I need is you
So I guess I'll just have to wait

Without you time moves slowly
I stand as it passes me by
But tonight I am so lonely
I need the love in your eyes

Kick in an amp or something
Break a couple rules
Let out all this angst at nothing
Just break down and rock

I need to cut The Punk loose
I've tied him up too long
Let me ease my ******* loud-mouthed soul
With some nasty
******
Noisy
Rock 'n' roll

Let me yell until my voice hurts
And play til my fingertips bleed
Feel the beat that my gramps said would send me to Hell

Yeah...
That sounds sweet.

I am dangerous
An enemy of the state
No simple life
Is in the cards for me
I am cursed
To watch as those around me
Drop like flies
Before the hands of my enemy
Because he knows
That is where I am weak
He is aware
That is where I am vulnerable
So he strikes
He has caught so many unaware
Not this time
This time I will stand guard over them
I will watch
For shifting shadows in the night
I will not
Let him take them from me this time
Not this time
Not ever again.

My confession
I'm a wretch
A miserable
Broken soul
Stained black in sin
I am shattered

But I am reborn
Scarred, yes
But reborn
Cleansed in fire
Washed
Clean
Pure crimson

I will dive
Deeper
Swallowed whole by the sea
The purifying surf
I will never surface
Yet I will never drown

I The Wicked Son
Drenched in Saving Scarlet

When two worlds collide
They both get torn apart
I don't know who to follow
I don't know where to start

My hands up in the air
My knees fall to the earth
I scream into the night
Until my voice won't work

Do you hear me?
Tell me do you hear me now?
Are you listening?
Do you care if I break down?
Is anybody out there?
Is anybody here?
Can anybody see me?
Or my reflection in the mirror?

Still on my knees in the darkness
My voice echoes in the valley still
I wait
Prostrate for an answer
I wait

As my soles strike the concrete
My soul soars across the skyline
And I catch myself considering
The constant conflict of life,
I'm confounded
By the concept of beauty
By which we're surrounded

Then I see a skyscraper
And my mind goes ballistic
With a sudden epiphany

Each window holds a story
Of a person or a family
Facing challenges like me
And the whole of humanity
I stand there
Staggered
As I consider the potential
The knowledge
The beliefs
And I begin to entertain
The ludicrous notion
That maybe
Just maybe
The world isn't broken
If all of those windows
Set aside all adversity
We could face any problem
With the highest degree of certainty

I do what it takes to survive
The noblest struggle of all
And nothing brings me alive
Like the laughter I hear in your call

Here's my best desperate attempt
To capture in empty black letters
The fullness of love you're content to pour out on me

You are my blessing in the flesh
A catalyst of carnal desire at the simplest form
Yes it's true that my first thought was of your physical perfection
Your corporeal aesthetic
A flawless performance of flesh

And I desired you
Craved you like a man depraved
But that was just the start

The moment you opened your mouth
And spilled onto my ears the golden splendor
The voice fit for the chambers of kings
And I to be Solomon
Or David or Caesar or Arthur
That such beauty should not be wasted on me
A common man

And I desired you
Called to the Creator and pleaded for you
And you came to me

Now I see that you
My perfect foil
Are my completion in this world
In my Crucible life you are my peace

In your presence I have heard distant wedding bells
Drawn now close
So very close
You occupy my every thought
Every labor a step towards my life with you

I am truly blessed beyond my fellow man
Beyond regent and ruler
Kingdoms and coffers are empty in the presence of a woman so wonderful

Sweet Venus, soon my bride