so hard to comprehend if you
can truly be loved as you are
or we simply use each other
like Seurat used light
the jukebox of desire plugged-in
it keeps turning reality against itself

sometimes  I am dreaming, feeling
crying, laughing too much
I know.
I keep looking at the world
with the terror of being alive
with a look that exhausts love
itself

what if contradiction is the mother
of progression?

It's better to be be alive and thriving, rather than being consumed, sick and dying.

I realize. I can only write quality when sad or angry. Frustrating, forever thus breaking the flow and only I know when the time will be to open up again and free all the thinking, shrinking, sinking and slipping thoughts up here behind closed eyes-
slowly eating away behind caged ribs .

Everyday new problems made, new orange cones and red lights parade the streets of needle and thread. The sun goes down at night and I dream of solving the problem-
the bargain continues to darken at every strike across the face that is the problem that I have made-
and make them I do everyday.
For myself to hide, runaway. Climbing up a mountain of faith only to carry the feeling and throw the thought off the edge,
like waste.

Engage, listen, explain. I do, I try, I will and I might even add something new if I feel like it. Just to climb to point 5 once again soon point 6, 7, 8 and I don’t think I've ever looked back. In time it fades to black.

Eating away.

For time flies forward and never back-
From wood to paper to metal screen, we move.
Though minds collide from forward and behind-
Run away. Run away.
So as we buzz forward we fall two beats behind.

All i ever did was care
But you were never there

Run, run
But you can’t hide
From the demons that chase you
Trying to move forwards
But continuously falling back

To live is to risk it all
We’re not getting out of here alive
Fear will be your downfall
We’re becoming susceptible to the mind hive

There’s no mask
To hide the stench
Of this rotting flesh

Frozen to the bone
Yet burning at the core

Upside down
Hang me from my feet
Let the blood run free
Let this life leave me

When did I lose control
Grasping tight with no grip
Falling through my finger tips
Will I ever become whole

Living this life in vain
I’ll take on every single pain
Ship me to the wasteland
For eternity I’m dammed

Tell me
Was this all apart of the master plan
Troubled times we have fallen upon
If I bare one more mistake, consider me gone
To the underworld; from earth forever banned

Don’t cry
You’re not to blame
I’m the only fault
I should have talked, instead I listened
I thought that was the truth
But now I see, the only person to blame
Is me
Shed not another tear
Continuing my walk of shame
This is meaningless
My head wrapped in pointlessness

Sick minds never to be cured
Falling trap to the sirens’ lure
Songs of the dead
Love me nevermore

A shot made in the dark pierces the heart
We were never meant to hurt, yet we choose not to heal
Sign my name in blood, I’m taking the devil’s deal
From the material world I’ll depart

Listen to the echoing cries of the souls lost
Too late to wish it was more I had fought

The silence of humanity is still louder than the screams of the dead
This place in hell I now call home
It was the closest thing I’ve found to not feeling alone

Keep your humility and thoughts of progression
For where I am now death was the only gift we wished for
Completely succumbed to corporate possession
Beautiful on the outside yet rotten to the core

Everybody will die
Everyone will suffer
You’re just a walking corpse
Slowly digging your own grave
You won’t be saved