I realize. I can only write quality when sad or angry. Frustrating, forever thus breaking the flow and only I know when the time will be to open up again and free all the thinking, shrinking, sinking and slipping thoughts up here behind closed eyes- slowly eating away behind caged ribs .
Everyday new problems made, new orange cones and red lights parade the streets of needle and thread. The sun goes down at night and I dream of solving the problem- the bargain continues to darken at every strike across the face that is the problem that I have made- and make them I do everyday. For myself to hide, runaway. Climbing up a mountain of faith only to carry the feeling and throw the thought off the edge, like waste.
Engage, listen, explain. I do, I try, I will and I might even add something new if I feel like it. Just to climb to point 5 once again soon point 6, 7, 8 and I don’t think I've ever looked back. In time it fades to black.
Run, run But you can’t hide From the demons that chase you Trying to move forwards But continuously falling back
To live is to risk it all We’re not getting out of here alive Fear will be your downfall We’re becoming susceptible to the mind hive
There’s no mask To hide the stench Of this rotting flesh
Frozen to the bone Yet burning at the core
Upside down Hang me from my feet Let the blood run free Let this life leave me
When did I lose control Grasping tight with no grip Falling through my finger tips Will I ever become whole
Living this life in vain I’ll take on every single pain Ship me to the wasteland For eternity I’m dammed
Tell me Was this all apart of the master plan Troubled times we have fallen upon If I bare one more mistake, consider me gone To the underworld; from earth forever banned
Don’t cry You’re not to blame I’m the only fault I should have talked, instead I listened I thought that was the truth But now I see, the only person to blame Is me Shed not another tear Continuing my walk of shame This is meaningless My head wrapped in pointlessness
Sick minds never to be cured Falling trap to the sirens’ lure Songs of the dead Love me nevermore
A shot made in the dark pierces the heart We were never meant to hurt, yet we choose not to heal Sign my name in blood, I’m taking the devil’s deal From the material world I’ll depart
Listen to the echoing cries of the souls lost Too late to wish it was more I had fought
The silence of humanity is still louder than the screams of the dead This place in hell I now call home It was the closest thing I’ve found to not feeling alone
Keep your humility and thoughts of progression For where I am now death was the only gift we wished for Completely succumbed to corporate possession Beautiful on the outside yet rotten to the core
Everybody will die Everyone will suffer You’re just a walking corpse Slowly digging your own grave You won’t be saved
Sometimes I relapse to you. Most days I relapse to my mind.
But days like today. I think of how I should try to move on away from you. Yes I loved you. Yes I love you. But I need to keep away from you.
I won’t be able to do that by holding on. Your number has been removed, Our conversations have been deleted. But I still listen to the memories of you And baby I can’t ever dispute where my heart lies.
But it shouldn’t be on you. It shouldn’t be on another too. It should be on me.
Because ultimately my soul, my sanity. It deserves the capability and capacity that my love lies on you.
“If you love me won’t you say something”
Our song lingers in the background, heavily playing with anecdotes And innuendos of you.
But baby. It hurts that it isn’t on me.
It hurts that it isn’t on me.
Because sometimes I think about how this is disastrous. How it’s disappointing.