Like their story,
When we met
It was magical
As if fate brought
Us together.

Like their fairy tale,
We danced
And swayed
As if we will
Always be together.

But unlike theirs,
We were given
More than the hours
Before midnight
Never happily ever after.

When thoughts of you dawn over me,
I'd bring out the first gift you gave me
And reminisce the happy moments.

When thoughts of you dawn over me,
I'd bring out the first gift you gave me
*And wonder why it ever became the last.

I didn't notice you,
I didn't care,
I've been reckless,
So in the end I was the one hurt,
I wish I've noticed you before,
I wish I've been careful with you,
I wish is all I can say now.

"The whole world was: too cold, too big, and too cruel."*

If you fear the world is too cold,
I promise I'll be here to keep you warm.

If it's too big for you,
I assure you, you're the only world I need.

If the world is too cruel,
I'll take the oath and make it safer.

Because there is no greater tribulation than a heart left to die cold.

I look for you in wishing stars,
Believing they'll bring you to me.

I look for you in satellites,
Believing you are just around.

I look for you in black holes,
Believing there's no escape from you.

I look for you in nebula,
Believing you'll bring me to life.

I look for you in deeper space,
Where the darkness seems infinite
Believing you're the light that could save me.

I guess you have a new companion
And I guess I'm no longer the one who fuels you.

I guess you've changed roads
But I guess I'm still searching for your tracks.

I guess you turned off the front lights
But I guess I'd still be expecting it in the dark.

I guess you're moving on
But I guess I'll always be waiting for you at the stop.

When we said
Goodbye
The more I knew
I just can't
Let you go.

summer
never truly loved her
she thought
kicking
the last soft waves
of the season
like they were
a pile of autumn
leaves

closed her eyes
from the sunrays
imagining
the oranges and pinks
of sunset
painted by the trees
answering to the
cold whispers
of the wind

winter
they call but still, summer
never truly loved her
she thought
but as the last soft waves
crash to her feet
the little bubbles
like the first fall
of snow

she thought
of the heavy footsteps of mud
and the snow-covered boots
on the porch
the subtle smell of pine
circling around
the divot on the couch
the bubbles from
soapy dishwater
waltzing in the kitchen
it means
you're home

and though summer
might not have truly loved her
it never took away
her metaphors
to describe what
love looks like
and love looks like
dry leaves scattered like
freckles on your cheeks
on the old cobblestones
we walk on
on Sunday mornings

it's like a pair
of warm socks,
hot cocoa and marshmallows,
and Christmas carols
it's waking up right where you belong
like blossoms greeting
the first sunlight
after months of snow
and it's summer
when the agony of waiting
under the scorching sun
learns to turn into

patience
love is these seasons
giving way to
years
and patterns
we will never get tired of
summer
might not have truly loved her
but she'd hoped that one day
you truly would
and
you did.

Anytime at any place
Love has come to me
Wishing me the best
And leaving me better
You too came and went
Stay, I wish you did.

For my heart aches
Underneath the strong red
Louder and louder it beats
Love, for your love.

Never will it beat for another
Only you is its song
I will always keep your music
So there is noise, now and in
Eternity.

When you said hello,
You never knew
How my heart jumped with joy.

And when you said goodbye,
You never knew
How my heart crashed into the ground.

*I was like deafened
To every good morning and hi,
There are no more hello's for me.

Diamonds are as hard to find
As the words that should be said today
The tears come out as hard
As the words that are left for me to say.

Maybe it was you after all
I had had my breaks and falls
I thought you'd just pass
But you stayed til last
Now I'll be true
Now, it is you.

I'm behind the bars
Metal cold
I feel so alone
But I have you
Well, do I really do?

I watch
As your life unfolds
I can't leave
Though I want to
But how about you?

I'll leave
If you want me to
If I'm nothing to you
I'll only leave
If you let me go.

I'm incomplete
Like the way
A puzzle is
When it has lost
Even just one piece.

I'm incomplete
Like the way
A mistaken letter
Changes the crossword
Altogether.

I don't think
I'd ever be complete
Even with just one
Missing in my life:
*You.

More than two years ago,
You were just a dream.

Seven months ago,
You came into my reality.

But now,
Your truth begins to fade.

Or maybe
**I was just waking up.

Tonight
We wrapped ourselves in the heaviest sheets we could find
I think the universe decided this would be the longest night of December
I reached for the hot mug of chocolate on the table to warm my hands
But you were quick to hold them in yours
If only, if only we were that quick
We could have spotted
Loose hugs and cold smiles
Turns of heads and many sighs
The bits of signs that could have told us the house is on fire
We didn't
We weren't
I pulled in closer and you still laugh at the high-pitched sounds I make when I shiver
I'm sorry
Back then, I would have fought for this
We both know we've lost all the ways to save us
The night sky is now a list of the fights we lost, the fights we gave up on, the fights we were never brave enough to take
Like the chance for tomorrow
But tomorrow, you will find someone else
Like how you look for a new game when the plot becomes too familiar
I will be looking back at you
Looking at another
A glance reminding me of when you first met her
I guess all the fights we lost were all the fights I fought alone
You always find someone else tomorrow
Who maybe won't kiss your shoulders when you're nervous or afraid
Maybe you won't be pointing out each other's grammar and math mistakes
But I know you'll hold her tighter
And sing to her all the words I've been waiting for
And I hope this time it's right
I hope her smile will be all the sunlight you need when life feels like all the monsters came out of the sea
And you, you'll be her meteor shower of random kisses and funny faces
She never thought she needed
But tomorrow, if you're not ready
If you hear my voice echo when the wolf cries to the moon
Or if you feel my touch from the cold breeze passing through the only windows left open
Remember we have loved with all that we are
Even with the pieces we still don't know where to place
I have loved you with a magnitude greater than that of gravity but I won't pull you back anymore
So you could first pick up the shards of glass on our squeaky floor
I will leave the first-aid kit in the same space
Watch the hands of the clock until it points to Okay. Ready.
You will have to unlock the door alone and realize that this is
Tomorrow, when we'll be strolling in different sidewalks, different cities
Will we ever find ourselves retracing the way back and looking for the blankets from this December night?
Will we still have the courage to cross the bridge and take the fight?
I have no answers tonight
So tell me again about your meetings with the sky like when you spoke my name the first time
I will listen again while thinking of how my search for a reason to stay stopped when I looked into your eyes
Maybe all is just a fantasy
All we know about you and me
And the reasons that we need
Are the ones we never keep
Darling, I am out of lullabies
Before tomorrow becomes goodbye
Tuck me in and say goodnight
This time
This
Time.

There are moments I wish to forget
There seem to be vestiges of you everywhere
That I see things not as they are
But a shadow, a spark, a thread of you

It's been some time
Enough to think I was okay
Then one day I smell your scent and your vague image slowly turned into my sharpest memory

Or maybe you were always the clearest memory
Which I chose to hide in the closet
Because I know I couldn't forget

But this is how I want to forget
I wish I could open the door and not think of the last time you closed it
I wish I could say goodbye without hearing you say it back

And these aren't all
I find myself hoping I could put all the happy moments behind
Because they were hard to beat and I never felt the same

Sometimes I wish
I could listen to a song and not hear your voice singing it to me
And read a book without seeing your delicate fingers hold the pages' ends

I wish I could wake up and not see your smile shining brighter than the sun
Or tuck the blankets in without feeling your arms wrapping around me

But I know
I know I can brave this world with just the precious memories of you.