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Feb 18 · 388
Idiosyncrasy Feb 18
never truly loved her
she thought
the last soft waves
of the season
like they were
a pile of autumn

closed her eyes
from the sunrays
the oranges and pinks
of sunset
painted by the trees
answering to the
cold whispers
of the wind

they call but still, summer
never truly loved her
she thought
but as the last soft waves
crash to her feet
the little bubbles
like the first fall
of snow

she thought
of the heavy footsteps of mud
and the snow-covered boots
on the porch
the subtle smell of pine
circling around
the divot on the couch
the bubbles from
soapy dishwater
waltzing in the kitchen
it means
you're home

and though summer
might not have truly loved her
it never took away
her metaphors
to describe what
love looks like
and love looks like
dry leaves scattered like
freckles on your cheeks
on the old cobblestones
we walk on
on Sunday mornings

it's like a pair
of warm socks,
hot cocoa and marshmallows,
and Christmas carols
it's waking up right where you belong
like blossoms greeting
the first sunlight
after months of snow
and it's summer
when the agony of waiting
under the scorching sun
learns to turn into

love is these seasons
giving way to
and patterns
we will never get tired of
might not have truly loved her
but she'd hoped that one day
you truly would
you did.
We were asked to write a poem based on our favorite poem. The poem that came to mind is CE Ford's Like a Flame. Read here:
Feb 5 · 115
Idiosyncrasy Feb 5
Loving again feels like revising a piece. There's always that inkling feeling that maybe the first one was the right one.
super random
Dec 2018 · 227
December night
Idiosyncrasy Dec 2018
We wrapped ourselves in the heaviest sheets we could find
I think the universe decided this would be the longest night of December
I reached for the hot mug of chocolate on the table to warm my hands
But you were quick to hold them in yours
If only, if only we were that quick
We could have spotted
Loose hugs and cold smiles
Turns of heads and many sighs
The bits of signs that could have told us the house is on fire
We didn't
We weren't
I pulled in closer and you still laugh at the high-pitched sounds I make when I shiver
I'm sorry
Back then, I would have fought for this
We both know we've lost all the ways to save us
The night sky is now a list of the fights we lost, the fights we gave up on, the fights we were never brave enough to take
Like the chance for tomorrow
But tomorrow, you will find someone else
Like how you look for a new game when the plot becomes too familiar
I will be looking back at you
Looking at another
A glance reminding me of when you first met her
I guess all the fights we lost were all the fights I fought alone
You always find someone else tomorrow
Who maybe won't kiss your shoulders when you're nervous or afraid
Maybe you won't be pointing out each other's grammar and math mistakes
But I know you'll hold her tighter
And sing to her all the words I've been waiting for
And I hope this time it's right
I hope her smile will be all the sunlight you need when life feels like all the monsters came out of the sea
And you, you'll be her meteor shower of random kisses and funny faces
She never thought she needed
But tomorrow, if you're not ready
If you hear my voice echo when the wolf cries to the moon
Or if you feel my touch from the cold breeze passing through the only windows left open
Remember we have loved with all that we are
Even with the pieces we still don't know where to place
I have loved you with a magnitude greater than that of gravity but I won't pull you back anymore
So you could first pick up the shards of glass on our squeaky floor
I will leave the first-aid kit in the same space
Watch the hands of the clock until it points to Okay. Ready.
You will have to unlock the door alone and realize that this is
Tomorrow, when we'll be strolling in different sidewalks, different cities
Will we ever find ourselves retracing the way back and looking for the blankets from this December night?
Will we still have the courage to cross the bridge and take the fight?
I have no answers tonight
So tell me again about your meetings with the sky like when you spoke my name the first time
I will listen again while thinking of how my search for a reason to stay stopped when I looked into your eyes
Maybe all is just a fantasy
All we know about you and me
And the reasons that we need
Are the ones we never keep
Darling, I am out of lullabies
Before tomorrow becomes goodbye
Tuck me in and say goodnight
This time
everything must go
Dec 2018 · 128
Idiosyncrasy Dec 2018
Your eyes look like fire
The kind that greets you with a hot mug of coffee in the morning
The kind that makes you want to sit, share stories and roast marshmallows

Your eyes look like fire
The kind that this world revolves around but can never get closer to because
Your eyes look like fire
The kind that starts with a flicker and creeps into forests and houses on a windy night

Your eyes look like fire
Not the kind that coughs out its last embers but the kind that lets out one final explosion before it turns into dark coal and ashes

*Your eyes looked like fire.
To you, whose fire I miss.
Nov 2018 · 150
Idiosyncrasy Nov 2018
Call me when it's dark
I will bring a candlelight
Keep me in within your reach
Keep me in you sight

Call me when it's dark
Let's keep this candle burning bright
Sing to me your songs
We will make it through the night

Call me when it's dark
Bathe in the life of this dying light
Don't hold your tears
We have losses even when we fight

Call me when it's dark
When things aren't going right
We will blow the candle
I will hold you tight

Keep you in my arms
Even after the losses and the fights
Tell you that this world full of chaos
Wakes up to see your light.
Sa susunod muli.
Nov 2018 · 112
21 days
Idiosyncrasy Nov 2018
They say it takes 21 days to make a habit
One, I found myself retracing the paths of how we used to go home on new streets and different sidewalks- left, cross, go right, forward, then left.
Two, I went to the mall to buy fleece blankets.
Three, the jeepney ride took six times longer than usual.
Four, the x-ray results show scoliosis, not fatal.
Five, my ukulele lost its cold sound.
Six, my dictionary shows two meanings for the word town.
Seven, I sang my readings to the tune of Earth, Wind and Fire's September.
Eight, "I fall for always and forever."
Nine, we had plans for breakfast.
Ten, we lost ourselves in the cast.
Eleven, I lost it when you said goodbye too quickly.
Twelve, there is a difference between truth and honesty.
Thirteen, you always started conversations
Fourteen, when did we start regretting decisions?
Fifteen, was it when you've forgotten my voice?
Sixteen, I tried to keep the little boy away from the noise.
Seventeen, I told him a story about Mars that night.
Eighteen, you said if you could **** the moon, you just might.
Nineteen, I held the hand of the little boy for a long time.
Twenty,  I ended my goodbye with his favorite rhyme.
Twenty-one, my first watch was never a time travel device.
But they say it takes 21 days to break a habit
So on day one, I will wipe the mascara off the lashes of my eyes...
Ito na.
Oct 2018 · 1.3k
of cities and lullabies
Idiosyncrasy Oct 2018
I went straight home speeding and brought another blanket in
But you said the pain is enough to warm your skin.

I said the sun found another reason to leave at dusk
And the moon asks for praise for saving us.

Maybe they should have let the stars shine brighter in the day
So the city lights, come dark, could lead the way.

Across cities, you have listened to my lullabies
Should I sing to you one more time or would you be the one to say goodnight?

Tuck me in and say goodbye
This time
Oct 2018 · 216
Idiosyncrasy Oct 2018
six seventeen
I've exhausted
all the options
just for this to stay.

split second
high noon
The eyes
are the first
to lose their way.

sorry sighs
The heart then
loses its place
in the dance.

six seventeen
How does it feel like
to never give
something a chance?
I hope it's good enough.
Sep 2018 · 251
Idiosyncrasy Sep 2018
Reynaly Shen is
Strong. Sophisticated. Independent. Eccentric.
But always trying to be the person you can count on to love you
Like how she loves the way we create to comprehend the unfathomable and hold together the unbounded
She keeps a lot of words to herself like a shell hiding its pearl but understands someone has to take them anyway
Because she has doubted herself and compared herself to everyone you have loved before
But she is never one to state standards, and values you for who you are
They have told her she is at both ends of the spectrum, trying so hard to be in between
And she has told herself it’s okay, she’s okay
The jinny-joes and coins will one day be enough to travel the entire scale
She will be calling numbers with words and reading between the sounds of hellos
And she’ll be Shen. How she has always been. Shen.
self-poem for Speech class <3
Idiosyncrasy Aug 2018
I hope you get to take the first step back here
Realize it's all you ever want

You were the two kinds of love
The kind with which I felt like I could do anything and everything for
Against all odds
And the kind which was safe and comfortable
The love which was home

Forever was the time between almosts and finally
Putting them all here to let go.
Aug 2018 · 420
Idiosyncrasy Aug 2018
I've gone six days without crying
But I'm crying now
Even though I've told myself not to
Because these tears
Aren't the rain to end the drought
But maybe they are
Maybe they're to tell my skin
That can I grow flowers in me
Like I did with you
Only, this time, without.
Jul 2018 · 208
Idiosyncrasy Jul 2018
To you
I was never really fond of surprises
Then you came
The day I met you
I was glad to have found someone I get along with
That wasn’t the surprise
The surprise was when you first cheered my name
And how I wanted you to cheer me all the way
I wasn’t surprised when you walked me home
What surprised me was when I didn’t feel home when you walked away
So for many weeks or months
My heart jumps because of the surprise of you in everyday
So for many weeks or months
I wasn’t sure
And that’s not knew
I think I was never really certain of anything
I was never really certain of anything until there was you
And it’s funny how one I’m very sure of
Still surprises me
Like the night you tucked my hair behind my ear
Underneath the streetlamp
No brighter than you who have given light
In the past few months of chaos
Your eyes shined like they wanted to stay
It wasn’t surprising when you asked me if I like you, the next day
But I was surprised because, “I like you,” was all you wanted to say
The first time you said you love me
I wish I’ve said it before you did
I was pretty sure I’ve felt that way a long time ago
And it has been a while since those times
I couldn’t say it was a surprise when we ended
Neither was the fact that I didn’t want it too
It was amazing
How I waited for shooting stars and 11:11s
How I wanted to go back in time and make things better
How I tried to tell you and show you
That some things didn’t change
I still love you
I still love you
I couldn’t say it was a surprise when I stopped hearing that
But I was sure of what a surprise it is when you came back
You showed me what love is
In colors
Wrapped in silver and gold
When you looked at me
I saw what those stories told
In winks and glances
I am not letting go of any more chances
It was not a surprise that my heart still beats the same track
And I will replay over and over
That time you told me, “You’re not alone anymore,”
What a surprise that was right after all this time
When you hugged me
You picked up the pieces I thought were lost forever
Yes, you
I am not really fond of surprises
But you were the best yet.
I thought I've posted this already.
Jul 2018 · 179
Idiosyncrasy Jul 2018
I didn't know
How to begin again
So I tried
With the only way
I know how..

..By holding your hand
June 25
Jun 2018 · 384
Idiosyncrasy Jun 2018
When the storyteller of Don Quixote told me that love needs no excessive gestures
I felt it was true
And when you saw those words written on my journal
The same time we found the courage to hold on again
You said it isn't about needing though
It's about wanting
And that was what I've been trying to tell you this whole time
I didn't want you because I need you
I needed you because I want you
I love you
But it was only this time that I realize how true those words were to me
We never needed big surprises in public places
And thousands of pictures and social media posts
Although I would have loved that
Love found no need for labels
To know I have you and you have me, always
I don't think there's anything that could ever encompass what we had
Is there a label that could say we found what love really is with what there was
Love didn't need a hell of a roller coaster ride relationship to prove its worth because
You were right
When you feel it, it'll stay there
You just believe it
Not the kind of belief where you believe in something to make it true
But the kind where you believe because it is true
Love needs no excessive gestures
It only needed you and I
It only needed us, in our little bubble, soft glances, warm smiles, right by each other's side, with certainty and calmness we've never found before
Love needs no excessive gestures
But we had always made it so much more.
Thank you for this kind of love. M.
May 2018 · 182
Idiosyncrasy May 2018
It breaks my heart
To see you break
In overwhelmingness
In emptiness
And in between
Most especially, you
Especially, you
Huwag mo na kasing pigilan.
May 2018 · 395
Idiosyncrasy May 2018
There are moments I wish to forget
There seem to be vestiges of you everywhere
That I see things not as they are
But a shadow, a spark, a thread of you

It's been some time
Enough to think I was okay
Then one day I smell your scent and your vague image slowly turned into my sharpest memory

Or maybe you were always the clearest memory
Which I chose to hide in the closet
Because I know I couldn't forget

But this is how I want to forget
I wish I could open the door and not think of the last time you closed it
I wish I could say goodbye without hearing you say it back

And these aren't all
I find myself hoping I could put all the happy moments behind
Because they were hard to beat and I never felt the same

Sometimes I wish
I could listen to a song and not hear your voice singing it to me
And read a book without seeing your delicate fingers hold the pages' ends

I wish I could wake up and not see your smile shining brighter than the sun
Or tuck the blankets in without feeling your arms wrapping around me

But I know
I know I can brave this world with just the precious memories of you.
I never thought I'd say these again.
Apr 2018 · 214
Idiosyncrasy Apr 2018
Love may fail
Love may end
Love may leave
But it doesn't mean nothing good can come out of it
And in that case, maybe it doesn't fail at all.
Thanks, love.
Apr 2018 · 296
This place
Idiosyncrasy Apr 2018
I thought I was building walls
But I merely left the gates on rusty hinges
When I was laying traps
The floors became squeaky
I wanted to close the curtains
But I think I pulled them down too hard
So I saw you driving back here
I heard the sound of metals screeching
And your first step behind the door
The paint is still fading
The kitchen faucet still leaking
Cobwebs cover the ceiling
But I don't mind
You are the only one that make this place home.
April 13. First week.
Apr 2018 · 300
Idiosyncrasy Apr 2018
I may not be able to save the world
But I can save a breath to make my heart try harder to give me life
I may not feel beautiful
But I can feel the attraction and repulsion of everything I try to make sense of.

I may not be brave enough to risk it all
But I am in control.
Yes please.
Apr 2018 · 259
Idiosyncrasy Apr 2018
I love you
That's all I can say
Cause you render me speechless
With each and everyday
Apr 2018 · 160
Idiosyncrasy Apr 2018
In between
fingers breaking hold
and lips parting
*I decided to stay.
Apr 2018 · 105
Idiosyncrasy Apr 2018
One day
I will stumble upon a box
Full of the things
I've given
I've lost
Covered in bubble wrap
Like they have never been through so much struggle
To get back to me
The box wasn't wrapped with red ribbon
But with tight tape
As if saying
It was to be opened by people
With strong hands like mine
Which have gone through the sharpest blades and knives
But I tell you
I still offer delicate fingers
Rough draft.
Mar 2018 · 218
Idiosyncrasy Mar 2018
No matter how hard the chase
No matter how far the space
Something always leads me back to your embrace.
Mar 2018 · 167
Idiosyncrasy Mar 2018
Even after we'll be sure

Of whatever it is that we really are
Never or forever
I know you'll be someone
Who won't want to go
So I went and left

*Cause I know you're staying
Here in my heart.
A response to "Hold and don't let go"
Mar 2018 · 205
Idiosyncrasy Mar 2018
There's no denying
It true
The best thing, my everything
It's you

I'm just happy to get a chance
To say the things I want to say
I'm happy to get a chance
To see you slumber, in my arms you lay

With all the things in this world that I could have
I just can't believe that someone like me could be entitled to your love
Mar 2018 · 253
Idiosyncrasy Mar 2018
"You are the best thing that ever happened to me,"
He whispered
One time
As I was drifting
Between consciousness
And sleep
By the soft touch of his fingers
Combing through my hair
He wasn't sure if I could hear him
He said so
In between lyrics of
When the Day Met the Night
Laughing and saying sorry
For forgetting some lines
How do I tell him I've longed
For him to sing to me again
And hold me
When the rest of the world is shaking
I guess this is how.
Feb 2018 · 184
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
All my life I've wanted to be stuck
Sitting at home, playing table top, pushing my luck

Then you came and went
Now I'm broken
And wanting more
So I packed, and left to go
on an adventure that is you
A response to


All my life

I always wanted to leave

You were the only one

Who made me want to stay.
Feb 2018 · 238
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
I want to know
What keeps you up at night
I want to know
What makes you cry
I want to be there
Every time
In sleepless nights
And painful sighs
Tiring tales and lies
In celebrations of life
Laughter and smiles
And all those times you try
I will be
Your lullaby.
A response to the poem "Lull"
Feb 2018 · 219
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
As I sleep at night
Your scent proxies your absence
As my eyes close with delight
The pain of the world lessens
For you'll always assure me
That nights will no longer be dull
And in silence we will agree
That your whispers are what make me lull
Feb 2018 · 150
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
The light flickers behind the shadows
The words fade to black
The people stream as if to follow
I try to get back on track
As I thought of the good changes
From moments of leaving
I couldn't help but ask the feeling
Of how wonderful it would be
If this time
This time
A response to "Leaving"
Feb 2018 · 126
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
The lights shimmer in the afterglow
While my mouth mutters words I'd rather show
As the sea of people come flooding
My chest starts pulsing
Cause I know I won't find you in them
I'll find you here, with every beat of my heart
And as you walk out of my arms and into the dormitories
I'll tell myself, like clockwork, "you're beautiful even as you're leaving."
Feb 2018 · 401
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
We've been
counting days
and moments
I've been
counting ways
to remember
But somehow
I know
there is no way
I will
A response to "Eighth".
Feb 2018 · 239
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
Our eighth day together
I hope they won't end, ever
Our big surprises and little moments
I will cherish them forever
Feb 2018 · 151
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
If there's an ocean
you'll drown in
It would be
that of my love
Bursting through
rivers and streams
lakes and springs
Reaching spaces
and creating safe places
For you.
A response to "Dihydrogen monoxide".
Feb 2018 · 444
Dihydrogen monoxide
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
One thing I hate most is drowning:
The scent of sodium penetrating the sinuses
The nothingness of endless water
The desperation for a grasp of air

But then I finally understood
I'm drowning in an ocean of you
That of which I'm willing to venture forever
All the uncharted areas
The vistas to discover
The wonders and surprises
And though I can't even float
Nor breathe underwater
I realised
I'm still swimming
Feb 2018 · 513
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
If we are
At the opposite ends of the spectrum
You, red
And I, violet
I would make a wheel
To get to you

You are here
Because of me
I am here
Because of you
And If you're afraid of drowning
In this ocean of hues

I will be the light
Which saves you
In the deep blue.
A response to "Spectrums"
Feb 2018 · 147
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
I'm afraid.
It's all just spectrums to me.
People who love you
People whom I feel are untrue
People who to you are dear
People who question why I'm even there
Why am I here?
I hope I won't interfere

A sea of colours
It seems selfish not to swim
But I don't know how
And I'm afraid I'll drown
I feel forced to dive
If I want to get to the bottom
After this jump
*Would you save me when I've lost my breath?
Feb 2018 · 129
the best
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
With you
Things are at best.
Feb 2018 · 150
It will get better
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
It gets painful
For I sometimes have to let you go

It gets painful
For you are in another's arms

It gets painful
For you're getting colder

It gets painful
For I feel helpless

It gets painful
For someone else keeps you warm

It gets painful
For all I could do is stare

But I hope
In the end
*It will get better
Feb 2018 · 338
gift of time
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
I'm very grateful to see
I no longer steal your time
It's your gift to me
And so I give mine.
A response to the poem "Time"
Feb 2018 · 136
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
The more time I spend with you
The more time I would want to be with you
The more time I talk to you
The more time I would want to understand you

Is it too much to ask if I could have you now?
If there were some way for you to respond, to tell me what you want

If only
Feb 2018 · 180
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
There might be
Places and mazes
And parks and landmarks
Every step a riddle
Every turn a puzzle
But I won't mind
I might be running in circles
But I come back to you
Every time.
A response to the previously posted poem "Walking".
Feb 2018 · 382
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
I'd tell you that I would love to go places with you; that I would love to sightsee all these parks and exhibits with you; that I would love to explore these kafkaesque mazes with you;

but I'd be lying.

What I would really love is to go to all your wonderful places; to sightsee all your thoughts and emotions; to explore the mazes of your mind.

*For in my journey to become omniscient, I discovered one truth about myself, all I would really want is to know you more.
Feb 2018 · 170
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
At times, you are still a puzzle to me too. Keep telling me things and letting me know things. You are the motion I would like to fully understand, the argument I am too convinced of to be able to go against.

I love you.
A response to "Baby steps"
Feb 2018 · 162
Baby steps
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
I'm sorry I don't know how you work yet, so I tend to cross boundaries that I shldn't. I hope you'd forgive me for that. Still, I'm learning, slowly but surely, like how I know in full

I love you
Feb 2018 · 137
Idiosyncrasy Feb 2018
you make leaving
so hard
and I think
that's beautiful.
Thank you. It was against all odds and I knew it is a chance I have to take.
Jan 2018 · 156
away with words
Idiosyncrasy Jan 2018
You said
I have a way with words
You do too
But I don't think
writing about what I never felt
Is the same with
saying what you never meant.
Yes, pun. We use words in different ways after all.
Jan 2018 · 459
one thing
Idiosyncrasy Jan 2018
I tried to make this poem different
But then I realized
If there's one thing I'm good at
It would be writing about you
About your smallest movements
No one seems to notice
Like the way you flick your hair when you get nervous
About the surprises in you
Like your soft cry to belong, to matter
When all people see is a hard rock
They never knew it was a build up of tears
And about the things I will never have the chance to tell you again
Like when you're nervous or afraid, I'll be there
But I won't tell you not to fear
Because there are some things we have to be afraid of
Or hey, you were my rock
The one thing I held on to
And I will cradle you
Your softest whispers
And the salty water you come with
You belong with me
You will always matter.
I was thinking of continuing this poem and perform it as spoken word but lately I haven't been sure if I still want to say these. This is for the person I haven't gotten over yet and I've been wondering if he still deserves another poem from me. Maybe at the end of this poem, I could say that I do have other things I'm good at and eventually succeed in heartbreak but for now, let this poem be another one which shouts my love for him.

And please leave suggestions if you have some. I'd appreciate it so much. Thanks :).
Jan 2018 · 219
this might be the last time
Idiosyncrasy Jan 2018
Listen when I tell you
Because it isn't at all easy for me to say
That I still love you
When you no longer feel the same.
Not another time.
Not once more.
Jan 2018 · 164
Idiosyncrasy Jan 2018
He leans on my shoulder
I thought the butterflies were over
Even the slightest touch of hands
Makes all of them dance.
Still :(
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