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Mar 2017 · 701
Small Town Girl
Crimsyy Mar 2017
I'd like to live in a small town
where no one knows me
deeper than my name.
I'd like to live in a small town,
living in a small house
where the kettle is always boiling
and where I might not be
so life controlling;
a town with no disasters,
an endless museum of skin
so we can watch all the flowers
break through the ice
we've brought in each other
and truly love what's within,
a town where we'd be smiling
from all the lovely things
said from all the lovely people.
And one day soon,
I might just have to roam away
to satisfy my wanderlust
before the hour of my decay.
Mar 2017 · 348
Skin
Crimsyy Mar 2017
Did we just act
on a whim
just to be loved
and feel loved
without asking
if either of us
could swim?
By now, I'd hope somehow
you'd know what to do.
Guess you still don't know
who's worth fighting
or dying for,
guess I still wear my heart
on my sleeve
up for lease too easy.
You've ignored its rent,
all your love, I don't know
where it went,
all my time, uselessly spent,
and since you're breaking
my heart in two,
I'll only ever get
skin deep with you.
Mar 2017 · 484
Heart
Crimsyy Mar 2017
The bruise of your
sudden absence
is a tattoo my heart
carries proudly.
But bruises and tattoos
turn bitter when they begin
pulling triggers;
How many times must I
bleed for you?
How many times must I
swallow the feeling of hollow
and still believe you care, my love?
Your soul's a stranger
but for love's sake
I'll take the danger
and let you turn my heart
into a cremation chamber.
Mar 2017 · 443
Lungs
Crimsyy Mar 2017
Caffeine, oh won't you
awake me as you always do?
Even with effects circulating
and my mind over-contemplating,
I'll ask you to be my next move,
a mistake I won't need to soothe,
lungs taking deeper breaths,
bringing all distress to sudden death;
A bundle of rawness I inhale,
A bundle of vulnerability I exhale.
Mar 2017 · 589
Quintessentials
Crimsyy Mar 2017
These are my organs,
all trying to function,
mixed with one cup too many
of tea.

These are my organs
sliced to pieces by dishonesty,
who have bled too much
unrequited love.

These are my organs who have
decided to give life a second chance
because they delight in
feeling my body dance.

These are my organs
wrapping themselves around
a stranger
claiming love, love, love
in a world of sad never afters.

These are my organs
shaking off the sadness,
burning, burning,
and in the end
all that remains is
love, love, love.
Mar 2017 · 298
Luna
Crimsyy Mar 2017
Light belongs to everyone
even amongst the darkest shade of black,
now tell me, what is it
that my soul lacks?
I'd love to be illuminated
by you,
and I'd just like to say
I really admire the way
you're there when I need you
every 9 o'clock
when I stare out
the corridor window,
no matter the tone of day.
Oh Luna, these mortals
send my sanity astray
while you...you my dear
cremate my lamentations
to show me that underneath it all,
there is a bundle of paranoxisms,
beautiful and bursting,
otherwise known as *me.
Mar 2017 · 339
Efflorescence
Crimsyy Mar 2017
Roses now bloom
in my ribcage
and stability begins
to collect in these
inelastic lungs of mine,
still here to inhale a sunrise.
And in my bones
a cage is collapsing to the ground,
as sadness reaches its expiry date,
and I stumble upon Worth,
a new city I've found.

**A/N: Thankyou for reading! Please comment your thoughts on this one  (:
Mar 2017 · 551
Happier Days Ahead
Crimsyy Mar 2017
My Melancholy,

I cannot welcome you anymore,
I can't run towards you
with open arms.
You make me think of the moment when Cinderella's  only hope
was reduced to shreds;
You tasted just as hopeless,
just as irreversible,
unleashing this desire in me
to turn my back on you.




**A/N: Looking forwards to happier days ahead  (: what did you think of this one? Please comment... thankyou for reading! ^.^
Mar 2017 · 925
Selfish
Crimsyy Mar 2017
I'm selfish because i care
And what's mine is not to be shared
I'll envelop you in a love so rare
I'll colour outside the lines
just to make sure you'll always
remain only mine.

I'm selfish
so love me or despise me
Either way, you'll think about me
And i don't think you'll
ever be able to comprehend
my possessive tendencies;

tell me, despite my irritable ways
can you make out the meaning
of an I-I- I love you?



**A/N: Thankyou for reading! Even flaws and "irritable ways" can have a good meaning behind them. Please comment what you think of this one ^.^
Mar 2017 · 302
Passion
Crimsyy Mar 2017
Your kisses are a bundle of nerves
and the more we lean back
the more we can feel our shattered spines
but having lived is
worth being paralysed,
your hugs are safety
I can never detach myself from,
conjuring up sighs in me
I never get the chance to speak of.
This is the start of a new poetry book, called Cremation (:
Let me know what you think of this one ^.^
Feb 2017 · 362
Quadrāgintā Octô
Crimsyy Feb 2017
Toluene

I've buried origins in foreign soil,
I've buried me in all my turmoil,
but you are the shovel
digging deeper into me,
and I don't mind.
I don't mind feeling the love,
but I mind the sick -
the sick feels like all
the reasons to die.

When absence
becomes a metronome,
I know we've been too far apart,
even hearts cannot force
a beat to leap when
souls grow cold and
hands become ashtrays
in the dark.

And though this world may decay,
my love for you will never fade;
darling you make me feel
as if I'm coming home,
darling, you're dripping
all the colours of the rainbow
all over my heart's monochrome.



*A/N: Utter  nonsense...but anyways here's a new poem. Have been very busy with school - a week full of assessments one after the other.
Please comment your thoughts on this poem (: Thankyou for reading! ♡♡
Feb 2017 · 566
Quadrāgintā Septem
Crimsyy Feb 2017
Acetone*

It wouldn't take
a simple overnight
to have enough of him, now;
You miss him,
isn't that right,
as you tie your shoe laces
and clench your jaw tight.
How long is soon?
The waiting party's over,
your resistance, a deflated balloon.
You're running out of air, silly girl,
too attached with your care.
You're a switch and he flips you
from nothing to everything,
and you're weaponless.
So, do yourself a favour,
and stop counting all the seconds
you've waited for him,
stop wasting your 11:11,
or else when the clock
finally breaks down,
the time might just **** you.
Feb 2017 · 291
Quadrāgintā Se(i)x
Crimsyy Feb 2017
Acetone

We're very much alike,
the flame, you, and I.
We all just exist
because we were meant to be,
much like the reason
behind our love,
the reason behind
my "I love you,"
the reason why
my eyes always sparkle for you.
I can't quite name it,
can't retrieve it
from the cemetery
in my mouth.
But it's *there.

*****.
Beautiful.



**Thankyou so much for reading! Please comment your thoughts or feedback on this one. ^.^
Feb 2017 · 846
Quadrāgintā Quīnquē
Crimsyy Feb 2017
Nicotine

All these useless words
I'm using for you
are the bandaids
that soothe my wounds
when you aren't there
to make me feel as if
my breath will never cease to be
and my heart will never wish
to cease its beat beat beat.

Lately, I've taken the form of
anticipation,
but you know I'm
not very patient,
and my anticipation is
in need of liberation.
Darling, when we meet again,
I will lose it all,
forget my sanity;
I will *smother

smother smother
you in love.

- Crimsyy

**A/N: Thankyou for reading!  Please leave a comment of what you think about this poem...your comments mean a lot to me ^.^ Also, for this poem, I left some punctuation out on purpose.
Feb 2017 · 374
Quadrāgintā Quattuor
Crimsyy Feb 2017
Nicotine

Your quiet, unexpected
utterances
crawled their way
through each artery,
filling every gaping void
so effortlessly,
all the way to my
blackened heart;
my love, my love, *my love.



**A/N: There's a very sweet story behind this short one ^.^ please comment your thoughts/constructive opinions  and thankyou so much for reading! ♡
Feb 2017 · 545
Quadrāgintā Trēs
Crimsyy Feb 2017
Toluene

You slip away from me
just as I'm about to reach,
time escapes us
like a clover
missing its fourth leaf,
stuck in the jungle
of my thoughts,
I can still find you but
I feel like you're the closest star,
visible, but too **** far.

And where's my luck
when the wrong date
on the calendar turns out right?
I haven't seen you
in a fortnight
and now I'm starting to feel
the absence bite.

I'm falling apart
because I can't remember
your lips or
how it feels to
drown in your kiss.
You're a nuance in
my memory:
I always remember a lot more
when it comes to you.

But this time,
I've forgotten the
sublime ways you
made me happy,
And I'm reminded
in each aching moment,
of how the breath in
my lungs constricts when
you're not near;
I miss you dear.



*Hey everyone...a little sad poem but that's because I felt that way. Please comment your thoughts / constructive opinions on this poem. Thankyou for reading! ^.^
Feb 2017 · 732
Quadrāgintā Duo
Crimsyy Feb 2017
Nicotine

When I'm with you,
I'm overcome with temptation
to release onto you
all my lamentations,
but I don't want to be
an extra weight on your mind,
I know how hard it is
to lift yourself up sometimes.

Because sometimes you
are the heaviest thing in the world,
and the world doesn't
understand that,
blaming triggers,
applying bandaids to wounds
that'll bleed long after the
bandaid's ripped off.

We're both hemophiliacs
drowning in breathtaking chemicals,
in our bones, fragility seeping,
our skin continuously bleeding.
But you and I
are more than this,
more than a shortage of bliss.
We're the passion felt
through a tender kiss,
We're addictive,
like the magnetic pull
of your lips.

I hope you know
sometimes I have to
force the monster out of me
to escape life's bitter bite,
but she loves you just the same,
and I hope you know that
in her, you summone the light.
And when she's with you,
she's overcome with temptation
to release onto you
all her lamentations,
and everytime,
you feel so safe,
she almost does,
she almost does.

*Thankyou for reading! Please comment your thoughts on this one and your favourite part/line and why it's your favourite. ^.^ Your comments make my days.
Feb 2017 · 643
Quadrāgintā Ūnus
Crimsyy Feb 2017
Acetone

I'm sorry I didn't
quite know what to say
when we were sitting in
the backseat
and your mind was driving you
a million miles away,
I'm sorry he broke your heart,
how dare he take your smile apart?
I know you're coated in pain,
so I'll ask it to
slowdance with my name:
Just tell me where it hurts
and I'll bandage your wounds
with these words,
I'll bury all your rage in my hearse
where my bones will
one day decay.
And I pray no one else will ever
rip you apart
because I love you and
watching you hurt
is the hardest part.

- Crimsyy

*A/N: Oddly timed updates but that's because school has began (: Please vote and comment what you think of this poem or any constructive opinions...thankyou for reading!♡
Feb 2017 · 522
Quadrāgintā
Crimsyy Feb 2017
Toluene*

He is a truly sublime being,
his "I love you's" like
sticky notes, stickers,
every embrace leaves
an imprint on my arms,
every kiss clings to my tongue
until I taste him again,
His love, an adhesive,
a sudden wallop of rapture
flowing through each
cremation chamber,
making my heart hum hum hum
a little faster faster faster
love knows no punctuation

- Crimsyy
Feb 2017 · 577
Trīgintā Novem
Crimsyy Feb 2017
Nicotine



I cannot ignore

how loudly love knocks

whilst you and I exchange

meaningful eye locks.

You are my Lucida,

my brightest star,

though I never intended

for you

to take so much space

in my heart;

I cannot tell where

your fervency ends

and my love starts.

You are an iota of heartache,

mixed with a hint of nicotine

and sprinkled with flaws,

reminding me broken beings

should be healed with love

not bandaids or empty promises

(though they're the same).

My darling, sublimity scintillates 

in your eyes and

I cannot explain in a rhyme

the many ways you make me feel sublime.



A/N: Hey guys! An update after a long time!! I know this is not the order that the poems go, but I felt inspired to write about *this person and so I thought why not? If you'd like to, comment some feedback, thoughts, and / or questions  (:
Jan 2017 · 666
My Birthday
Crimsyy Jan 2017
It's my birthday! Turned 17 today ^.^
Jan 2017 · 637
Trīgintā Octô
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Tar

Nothing will remain un-inked;
Wounds bleed and
feelings can ****
and that is why
everything must spill.
I can't keep this pent up fire
caged inside my mouth,
the anger, the unfairness of it all
erodes my teeth.

Your medicine wasn't
medicine at all;
more like subtle attempts of
mutilation than a velleity.
And your arms felt like home,
until all love left them,
and they felt like smoke
enveloping me;
you never made it easier to live,
right next to you I couldn't breathe.

I will not miss you because
there is no place safer than
inside the skin
I've slowly learned to love,
inside eroding flesh, eroding cells,
someday I will possess
a brand new vessel,
a stranger to your hell.

And when you'll come knocking
Your utterances will have no gravity;
You cannot heal scars
with a mouth that exhales tar.
You exhale and what your breath
touches falls prey to decay -  
*I wish to remain.
Jan 2017 · 762
Trīgintā Septem
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Toluene*

If I decide to unpack all
my belongings in your arms,
would you let me stay?
Would you still be as mesmeric
as you were when you believed
people were temporary?
Would you let me live
inside your skin?
Because I can't tell where
rapture ends and abstinence begins.
Jan 2017 · 441
Trīgintā Se(i)x
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Ammonia

My mouth became a cemetery
for all the words I didn't say,
I bought them all
tombstones and coffins
and buried them,
a self destructive funeral.
I could rip you in half,
turn into a lurid scream
and shatter your spine;
I think you would be
the perfect picture of putrefaction,
mutilated, in monochrome;
the very shade of my heart.
Jan 2017 · 518
Hiya
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Hey guys,

I just wanted to know and receive some feedback...what do you guys think of my new poetry? Is there any improvements you think I could make, any particular poems that you like or questions that you have regarding the poems? Let me know please..

Thankyou ^.^
Jan 2017 · 483
Trīgintā Quīnque
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Butane*

I swallowed knives,
coughed up blood,
your un-inked mistakes
entered my body
and you didn't feel
like love anymore,
you were mind-numbing,
a flame guzzler,
itching for someone
to love you
no matter how
fake you were.
Jan 2017 · 754
Trīgintā Quattuor
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Nicotine*

I have seen rapture come
in the shape of the person I love,
in his arms,
in his mischievous eyes,
but rapture is only ecstasy
and ecstasy will eventually
fade into habit and
this fictional fairytale won't
seem so sparkling anymore;
glass loses its luster once the
sun goes away
and fragility is all that remains.
It's up to us to dig through
years of pent up baggage and
discover love in each other's rust.
Jan 2017 · 390
Trīgintā Trēs
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Vinyl Chloride*

I try to soothe
my haggard mind
late at night,
I try to run from you,
because your damage
soaked all my bones
and all the happiness I owned.
Your name dug my grave
ahead of time,
I'm sorry, but you crossed a line;
You cannot trespass my heart,
you cannot say you loved me most
because when I bled in the dark,
your presence was a ghost.
Jan 2017 · 287
Trīgintā Duo
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Tar

Remorse is a fundamental *****
you just don't seem to possess,
and so your mistakes are repeated
over and over and over
and it never matters to you
because they're just another
bad habit you can't be
bothered to break,
and I couldn't stay with you
because staying with you
to feel happy,
was like smoking to let
my lungs breathe.

I hope you feel my absence
as a mighty wallop of pain
all over your chest,
and I hope your lungs
will be coated in regret,

Our friendship was a cigarette;
alluring, seemingly okay,
addictive;
our friendship was another
bad habit I inevitably fell into,
but maybe I'm thinking
of the wrong bad habit.
Friendship is not a bad habit,
the bad habit was
you.*

Excuse me if I quit.
Jan 2017 · 383
Trîgintā Ūnus
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Acetone

You're my hopeful undertone
and *that
 is where
all this love is
vulnerable like acetone,
because if one day
this all ends,
where will hope go?
I must place my hope
in the stars,
because even if all else crumbles,
they will still be there,
shining, burning,
reminding me dead
things in your heart
get lighter the more it gets dark,
reminding me that a star lit sky
is capable of fixing
a person's broken parts.
Jan 2017 · 626
Trîgintā
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Carbon Monoxide

I would like to believe
I was born in the clouds
amongst the angels,
bathing in so much sunlight
that now I can't help
but despise it.

The truth is,
you denied my heart
too many beats;
my heart's a bombsite
filled with carbon monoxide
and all your lies.

My own blood curses me,
dripping with your name,
I try to tell it we're
not the same;
I can't stand you,

You heartless, cruel monster,
imposter.
Jan 2017 · 592
Vīgintī Novem
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Methanol

You were two-faced
like most people,
and that hasn't changed,
but I have...
You will be disappointed to learn
I am not wasteful with
my loyalty anymore.
Jan 2017 · 306
Vīgintī Octô
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Nicotine*

Distance has its teeth
biting into my flesh,
and my relentless cravings for you
are a knife,
slowly slicing my sanity away.

I have a tendency
to turn self destructive;
I'll swallow you whole now,
or go without until I'm desperate,
no inbetween,

And so I take cut after cut,
bite after bite,
because I've made a home
for the withdrawal aches;
maybe this is what love looks like.
Jan 2017 · 387
Vīgintī Septem
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Acetic Acid*

Your effect rapid,
I'm contaminated, coated
in your acetic acid.
You have taught me
to just dip my feet,
not throw my body 
into the void
because the void does not 
always respond lovingly.

You have taught me
I love you is a trapdoor
too many fall in,
I love you is a romantic knife
with teeth,
illuminated by moonlit nights.

And most importantly,
your damage taught me
rapture and love
are *not the same.
Jan 2017 · 521
Vigīntī Se(i)x
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Tar*

You tried to undermine
what I was to you,
who you became after
you met me;
I do not believe you were better
before I came into my life.
I know you find it hard to tell the truth
so I can't give you fault
if it kills you to swallow it,

But before you met me,
you were a walking trainwreck,
Coated in insecurities that were
flashing like neon signs
in the way no one had seen
your face in days
because of all the makeup.

How easy it was though
to wipe that facade off
once you realized that even
without coloured in eyebrows,
someone would still truly
care for you.

I truly cared for you,
and the only payback I ever received
were empty promises of
"I'll be there, text me tonight,"
feeling so alone by your side
that even a teacher's drawers
felt like better company,
a knife to my back
when I wasn't there to notice,
and jealousy when I
finally started smiling.
Jan 2017 · 294
Vīgintī Quīnque
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Acetone*

What a day it will be
when we'll discover that
underneath our overworn sheen
is a layer of untouched rust,
smothered with lust.

And then with a scalding cry,
our minds will shatter,
splitting our belief of love
in half, where it's always been.

We will extirpate
all our memories,
as if the stars never
decorated the sky,

And when someone
inquires why,
you can tell them what we had
was only a velleity
branching out of our hearts.
Jan 2017 · 682
Vīgintī Quattuor
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Hydrogen Cyanide*

I have no idea how it feels
to receive what I deserve from you,
no memory,
only faded dreams.

Seething over what I was denied,
I became ill from your heavy,
searing dose of
hydrogen cyanide,

And life lost its meaning
because I never learned
to pour this love I carry inside
all over myself.
Jan 2017 · 311
Vīgintī Trēs
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Acetone*

I don't hesitate like I used to;
I know nothing of grey,
grey knows nothing of me.
You're a cigarette lighter,
your name slowdancing in my mind,
a violent waltz.

I tiptoed around you,
afraid to be set ablaze
but now my extinguisher's
not working
and I can't help but hold your gaze.

I've been told we're too young,
too young to set ourselves alight,
and too fragile for exposure.
But I also know if I'd never tried
I would have never found closure.
Jan 2017 · 794
Vīgintī Duo
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Phenols*

Your heart was always empty
and I was full of self sacrifice,
so I tried to give your heart substance
with all my deepest love.

I poured and poured,
with pain I wrestled
before realizing I was pouring
myself into a stubbornly empty vessel.

You could have just told me
you didn't want any part of me
and not left it too late,
with pieces of me floating about
in a heartless man.
Jan 2017 · 335
Vīgintī Ūnus
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Methanol*

You were my first secret handshake
but handshakes are history,
why should I befriend a snake,
when I could avoid the misery?

I'm not imploding from the pain
of having no real closure,
no need for guilt to
build my heart a terrain
over your lack of composure.

The smiles you saw
after I pulled the trigger,
after my deed,
were a symptom of no remorse,
no blister
for plucking power out of a ****.
Jan 2017 · 346
Vīgintī
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Acetone*

I spend a countless amount of time
daydreaming, picturing, imagining
small moments that could have
the ability to fill my heart
with such happiness,
people would inquire if I were a firework.
My mind carves my face, relaxed against your neck,
the ultimate safe place for me to be
when I can't run from the weight
of achievements still waiting to be accomplished.
My mind carves you, holding me,
our movements synchronizing,
we're anti-socializing,
enveloped in our world where no one, no future, could touch us or break us apart.
We're dancing to the lack of melody,
focused on feeling the beat of our hearts...
But that's just silly, just a fantasy
because I don't suppose the world
could stop spinning for just enough time to let us figure it all out.
Will the distance be insufferable?
Will this eroding earth leave our hearts vulnerable?
Jan 2017 · 431
Ūndēvīgintī
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Carbon Monoxide*

Without you, it seemed
a part of me was incomplete,
it seemed there was a void
that nothing else could fill,

But you never brought
my heart summers,
all you ever gave it
was a paralyzing chill,
a cunning cut from air
and I couldn't believe
how wonderful you appeared to be
until you almost killed me.
Jan 2017 · 264
Septendecim
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Toluene*

My soul still suffers from palpitations
when it hears your name,
those overused butterflies are nothing
compared to the drunkenness swimming in my brain.

Just your arms and your chest
feel like my safety zone,
shutting the world out,
I've no need to roam.

I hate how unbearable it is to leave,
how absence clings,
I love you but I do wish
missing you wouldn't
make my eyes sting.
Jan 2017 · 554
Sēdecim
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Cadmium*

You took a bullet to my heart
made of titanium,
poisoned my blood with deceit and lies,
filled my lungs with cadmium.

How can I not see your reflection
in any one who speaks your same words?
I try to forget of your mistakes
but mirrors only amplify the hurt.

I have given up on searching for your heart,
hope and want are a self destructing team;
you've never once apologised,
I've had to settle for "I'm sorry" in my dreams.
Jan 2017 · 325
Quīndecim
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Stearic Acid*

Out of your mouth came
the good intentions,
out of your deeds,
you were a contradiction,
with contrasting actions.
Such a contradiction of a girl,
such a faker up front.
Don't deny that you would speak
when I was absent,
don't deny that you couldn't
even be happy because
all you knew how to be was
immaturely jealous.
You lured me in with that
saccharine smile and the embraces,
but you pushed me away
with the contents of
your foul mouth.
Jan 2017 · 271
Quattuordecim
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Nicotine*

Your mother told me
I'd miss you this year -
I already knew.
I wish I could tell her
everytime I've had to
shove a blade of tears
down my throat so
no one would have to
watch my eyes bleed it.

The problem is, I
miss you quite easily,
I still need to build up
my resistance, but even then,
I would not be able to
ignore your absence
the same way you cannot ignore
a gap in between your front teeth.

I will have tearful nights
because my lips will ache for yours,
and my limbs will feel too isolated.
I will have days where I
will be in shades of black
like a funeral,
but that will be how I'll know
that I'm fully alive,
because I'll miss you so.

So I won't be able to ignore
your absence,
but maybe I'll put it to the side
until all the upcoming times
we'll see each other again,
and then I will let it all
take over me
and give into you, sweet nicotine.
Jan 2017 · 349
Trēdecim
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Acetic Acid*

Did you darken my skin?
Have you erased
any traces of light within?
You turned heartless,

I became lifeless,
all that life inside my bones
wasted in all the minutes
my analog clock ticked,

Proving to me you were never
going to keep your promises,
and it wasn't a matter of time.

I know now it was not
the fear of failure that kept you
from trying.
It was the fear of responsibility,
for you could never take any.
Jan 2017 · 278
Duodēcim
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Butane*

You were toxic to me,
you only used me,
but loyalty didn't let me see that,
because I didn't want to see that.
I wanted to ignore the little things
you did that annoyed me,
I wanted to ignore all the jokes
that were too cumbersome with reality.

I wanted to ignore it all when
you began to leave me behind,
I wanted to tell myself it was
all in my mind.
And do you know how ill that makes you-
to feign one's own insanity in
order to not see reality, which is
even more insane?

You attempted to strangle my
inelastic lungs in their small ribcage,
but today, if I see you,
I am reminded to breathe deeper
(luckily we do not breathe the same air)
because now you are no one to me,
just a dull face amongst the others,
no flame or spark ignited.
Jan 2017 · 270
Ūndecim
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Nicotine*

I could hold your hand
through the hottest weather
(Your magnetic pull never
fails to draw me in),
I could stick to your chest
the same way my
sweat soaked hair sticks
to the back of my neck.
I could pillow fight my way
through sadness with you,
even though that's exhausting
with only a small, stand up fan
as the source of cold air
on a 40 degree day.

My feet were sore in the end
but it was worth every second I
got to walk besides you,
even when it felt like my feet
could not possibly
take another step.
And I love that eager, anticipating
look on your face as you searched
for your favourite collection of cars,
and I hope I am enough to wipe off
that look of disappointment
and sadness I saw cross your face
when you didn't find any.

The train rides are my favourite -
places where you can squeeze
my hand harder for
no apparent reason,
places where you can pull me in
for a tighter embrace,
the place where I could have
had a small nap
but instead kept myself awake
by counting the
freckles on your arm;
24 and more.
Jan 2017 · 330
Decem
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Ammonia*

Burnt pieces of my heart
with your spit on them,
burnt pieces I want to send away
and never see again...
They are just unwanted souvenirs
from lies I don't want to hear again,
presents I don't want to receive again.

Seething for what
seemed like an eternity,
I am finally unleashing all
the pent up fire;
your time for my mercy
and forgiveness has
expired.

I am slowly coming to terms
with the damage you have caused;
I was a city and then
you ravaged me...
covered me in bruises,
tattoos, smoke and graffiti.

Suffocating me,
you smell of cunning endeavors,
childish behaviors;
a touch of you is
toxic enough to make me
wish I didn't breathe.
My lips might say otherwise,
my mind might even say otherwise,
but my ammonia-soaked bones
will never forgive you.
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