Butane*

You were toxic to me,
you only used me,
but loyalty didn't let me see that,
because I didn't want to see that.
I wanted to ignore the little things
you did that annoyed me,
I wanted to ignore all the jokes
that were too cumbersome with reality.

I wanted to ignore it all when
you began to leave me behind,
I wanted to tell myself it was
all in my mind.
And do you know how ill that makes you-
to feign one's own insanity in
order to not see reality, which is
even more insane?

You attempted to strangle my
inelastic lungs in their small ribcage,
but today, if I see you,
I am reminded to breathe deeper
(luckily we do not breathe the same air)
because now you are no one to me,
just a dull face amongst the others,
no flame or spark ignited.