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Jun 2022 · 1.1k
Father's Day Blues
Bei Aguilar Jun 2022
"It feels so scary getting old"
Seems true.
It makes me weep to see the world
Without you.
Dec 2020 · 889
Countdown
Bei Aguilar Dec 2020
Count the days
Before it begins
The most sought-after event
That we all await

It's the first day of December
But it's not Christmas that I refer

Starting today,
Count all the days
When you give and give
Even to those who forget

Proven and tested,
It will return to you
It will be more than what they received
More than you asked and view
Oct 2020 · 99
fuck my body
Oct 2020 · 1.5k
10/20
Bei Aguilar Oct 2020
It makes me feel sad to hear those words from you.
It makes me sad that I’m letting you do this to me.
It makes me sad that I don’t do anything to protect my feelings.
I want to ******* fight, but I want you more.

It makes me so sad that you’re letting me sleep
After saying all those things.
“Good night”
Is the last thing I want to hear from you.
Bei Aguilar Aug 2020
Don’t let that black cloud
Rain on you.
Don’t let it soak
Your hair and cloak.

Sometimes it’s okay
To experience the drizzle,
Most often times,
No.

Don’t let that black cloud
Eat you up.
Don’t let it flood your mind
Of things that you can’t rewind.

That black cloud is inevitable,
Even I can’t stop the horrible
Droplets to land on my face.

Know that you can do something about it.
You can open your umbrella
Or wear your hat if you will.

Most importantly,
Remember that there will be a shining sun
After this terrible, terrible
Black cloud storm.
Tell me what to improve on.
Jul 2020 · 203
plan
Bei Aguilar Jul 2020
I wish I could tell you
all the things i want
without getting hurt
or crying

I wish I could express
how devastating it is
to hear those words
from you

I wish I could show you
all the scars i got
from the words
you threw at me

I can't escape
Jul 2020 · 187
gone
Bei Aguilar Jul 2020
okay isn't my okay word.
happy isn't what i'm feeling.
sadness can't explain
how miserable i am.

i will never be okay.
i will never meet the end of that road called happiness.
i will never get to the amusement park where i used to hold you.
i will never be the same.

because you're not around,
you're not here.
you will never be around.
you're not here anymore.
Jun 2020 · 147
u
Bei Aguilar Jun 2020
u
seeing you
reminds me of the phrase,
"life gets better"
Jun 2020 · 310
YOU MATTER.
Bei Aguilar Jun 2020
We deserve
the right words to hear,
the just people to listen,
the best education to learn,
the best medical help,
and the right people to treat us RIGHT.

WE DESERVE OUR RIGHTS.

Don't look
at
our
eyes,
nose,
mouth,
color,
gender,
piercings,
tattoos,
hobbies,
favorite band.
Just give us our ******* rights.
May 2020 · 374
tears
Bei Aguilar May 2020
we
adore
the
joy
of
others
that
you
forgot
Ours.
Bei Aguilar May 2020
It’s better to cover your ears.

It’s better to just close your eyes.

It’s better not to hold on to anyone.

It’s better if you will not feel any single
pain that I have been ignoring

this whole **** time.
May 2020 · 173
You think?
Bei Aguilar May 2020
I wonder how flowers bloom beautifully
Without someone taking care of it.

I think and think.

It startled me
That I never thought
Of the sun,
The rain,
Even the bees and the butterflies
Or the plants beside it.


And so I tell myself:
There are more people that can help
Bring out the best in you.
It may not be someone you expected it to be;

Hopefully,
Someone will give you
Light,
Health,
As well as richness.

Little flower,
Learn from the drought and the flood.
Apr 2020 · 272
Degree of Lunacy
Bei Aguilar Apr 2020
When she asked me,
“What triggers you?”
I couldn’t pick one.
Crap.
Apr 2020 · 217
LET’S START NOW.
Bei Aguilar Apr 2020
It feels like we are in a movie.
A disaster one.
Everyone is dying and we don’t know who’s next.
However, some can already predict it.

The only difference between a disaster movie and of what’s going on in the world now is that we can do something.
We can help the people who are evidently in need.

WE CAN DO THIS.
LET’S START NOW.
ECQ *****
Apr 2020 · 174
12 AM thought #1
Bei Aguilar Apr 2020
I thought to love you was the worst thing to do,
But I am wrong.
Catastrophic it is,
Not to have you.
Nov 2019 · 370
Letter #1
Bei Aguilar Nov 2019
I will never not be amazed
Of how magical it is
To love you.

Without a doubt
You are the one
Who keeps me coming
And coming
Until I reached it.

You keep me alive
You help me stand
You ******* guide me
Even without your knowledge

That is how
Powerful
You are
To me

I made this poem
(Or just a flowery letter)
To say
How madly in love I am
With you
I am having a hard time expressimg myself with words. Please, bear with me.
Aug 2019 · 515
Track No. 1
Bei Aguilar Aug 2019
I want to be as good as Taylor Swift
To write songs as sweet as you,
However I will always be Rihanna.
All I know is take care of you
Jul 2019 · 610
god
Bei Aguilar Jul 2019
god
Your word
Is my world.
Your touch
Will always be my life.
Jun 2019 · 298
Whirlwind
Bei Aguilar Jun 2019
It is so crazy
How risky
The love
We chose to have.
Jun 2019 · 519
If
Bei Aguilar Jun 2019
If
If there will be a time
That he lets go of your hand,
Remember that you have
Another hand to hold.

Reach for it
And pray to your God
The desires of your heart.
It may take some time,
But it will surely come.
Feb 2019 · 194
Hope
Bei Aguilar Feb 2019
It was you
Who picked me up

It was you
Who gave me hope

You never let me
Feel unsafe

You never let me
Hunger
Of love and care.

You’re about to go
And I am feeling so low.
My head hurts,
My tears won’t slow.

I hope everything will be okay
As the two of you
Find your way
Together.
#hope you, okay, together, love, slow, hurts, way
Feb 2019 · 506
Dying
Bei Aguilar Feb 2019
“When was the last time you felt rejected?”
This is her way of opening me.
Pointing out the things
That broke me.
That breaks me.

I answered as tears carefully falls down
On my cheeks
As if feeling every pain
I intake.

“It was when I heard him say,
“It isn’t the same anymore.””
Jan 2019 · 235
Never
Bei Aguilar Jan 2019
This may be a happy moment,
But I will not give up
When this one ends, Love.
Jan 2019 · 471
01-28-2019
Bei Aguilar Jan 2019
It can be tough
Sometimes,
But I know
You are my
Always.
Dec 2018 · 297
Untitled
Bei Aguilar Dec 2018
Grateful for this year
And it is because of you.
Merry Christmas, Love!
Nov 2018 · 574
Society
Bei Aguilar Nov 2018
I believe that there is no such thing as fragile heart.
I realized that it is always on the mind.
On our minds.

Our brains process all the things we see and hear.
We tend to overthink
And collect insecurities
From the people we look up to.

It is not my heart that is fragile,
It is my mind.
random thoughts
Nov 2018 · 616
Hurts
Bei Aguilar Nov 2018
It hurts so much.

How could your words
Be so cruel,
Yet I still wait for it?

How can I love you
This much
When you can unlove me
Just like that?
Oct 2018 · 830
Untitled
Bei Aguilar Oct 2018
I am selfish
For being selfless
When it comes to you
Sep 2018 · 262
Love
Bei Aguilar Sep 2018
You held my hand
When I needed it the most.
You held my hand
When no one tried to reach for it.

You.

You saved me
From everything
That I should not
Be feeling.

I just want you to know
That I am grateful
To love you
And feel the love back
From you.
Apr 2017 · 371
2
Bei Aguilar Apr 2017
2
I'm never ready
to take off and be with you
but I'm excited
Apr 2017 · 363
1
Bei Aguilar Apr 2017
1
You are my sunshine,
my raindrop and bright moonlight.
You keep me crazy.
Jul 2016 · 229
Untitled
Bei Aguilar Jul 2016
July 16 was a very normal day
Three years ago.
But then,
You left.
Jun 2016 · 510
Your Day
Bei Aguilar Jun 2016
I'm jealous of her
Neither because of her appearance,
Nor her materials.
I'm jealous.

Not because of her attitude,
But because she's beside you.
I'm ungratefully jealous.
I can do nothing about it.

This is the first time
That I actually said it.
I'm so ******* done
With this drama.
I just want to tell you
What I really feel.
You made this.
You literally made me.

I just miss you.
I can still imagine you beside me,
Playing a guitar
And the Beatles.

Happy Father's Day
Even though
You forgot
To be one.
Jun 2016 · 992
G
Bei Aguilar Jun 2016
G
Ang kulit mo.
Napakakulit mo.
Ako'y kinukulit ng kinukulit
Hanggang sa hindi na naulit.

Anong nangyari sa'tin?
Ay, may nangyari ba?
Ah, wala nga pala.
Kasi nga diba, may iba?

Kinikilig
Na parang hindi.
Ngumingiti-ngiti
Na parang kinikiliti.

Ang dami kong tanong
Ngunit huwag na lang.
Ang dami ko din pinilit
At ayon, mukhang tanga.

Akala ko ikaw na,
Hindi pa rin pala.
Akala ko tapos na,
Ikaw pa rin pala.
May 2016 · 215
Untitled
Bei Aguilar May 2016
How can I trust you?
How can I give myself to you?
How can I love you
If you keep fooling around?

I want this thing
I really want this to work
I want this to last
But how can I do that
If I have these billion questions swimming around my head?

Do I deserve you
Or not?
May 2016 · 2.1k
I can't move
Bei Aguilar May 2016
Wasted words
Wasted time
Wasted tears
Wasted feelings

I know that you don't give a single **** about me anymore
About the things you said to me
About the fights we had
About what I feel for you

I want to cry
I want to shout
But you left
And I feel so empty
May 2016 · 314
I want you
Bei Aguilar May 2016
I can't stare at your eyes
It pierce my heart
I do love you
But not like how you want me to

I keep thinking of you
I ******* do
But not because I need you
It's because I want you

I keep thinking of your lips
How they spit humorous words
And **** and nibble
The needy ******

Just like your hands,
I love how they roam around
How they go to places
That brings me to god-knows-where

I want you down there
You know how to kindle the fire inside me
Your fingers caressing the parts
That only you and I know
May 2016 · 276
Lola
Bei Aguilar May 2016
What should I do
Without you?
I can't focus
Nor blow a kiss

I can't cheer
I can't bear
I can't hear
I don't know how to fake

I love how you laugh
And I'm missing it now
I don't want you to
Evanesce

Evanesce
No I don't want you to
Evanesce
Unless,  I'm coming with you

What should I do now
Without you?
I can't make a move
Nor breathe

I feel like dying
I feel like sinking
Into a hole
That I know I can't escape

— The End —