I want the moon that captures your gaze and leaves you breathless
I want the stars that fall from the skies to your tongue
I want to swirl around the galaxies within your eyes and fly through the voids of your drifting to sleep
I want the suns of your afternoons that bring your smile
I want the orbits of our memories to complete fast revolutions
I want the comets that soar to face us in the same direction
I want the planets to align for you
I want the gravity to bring us closer

Few suffer like the top of the hourglass
Drained by the bottom
Eternally powerless to gravity
Forced to repeat

I like to play with knives
It makes me feel alive
The danger of their sting
Why should I survive?

The knife begins to dance
My skin it wants to glance
The blood it wants to bring
Drifting into trance

The knife comes to a close
Its ballet now has froze
It's handle I will cling
And bleeding canvas grows

But knives will lose their touch
And thus I leave it’s clutch
And now my heart doth sing
For you do just as much

I sit and wonder
Why you acted like you cared at all
I guess i discovered
You can't accept it when I fall

I don't know what I did to you

But it's done
And we're done

I imagine you thinking of me
but then it just corrupts
I was hoping that you'd rid my misery
and your pain just interrupts

Once upon
I felt the call
To take a midnight walk
And stumbling through
The misty streets
A voice began to talk

Fear not said ye
The angels call
I must have reached the Lord
But falling through
The gravel road
The stone and I’m the sword

The king of far
And futures will
Be beckoned by the light
With fist and tongue
He rules below
The tempting of his might

And yet we see
His gentler heart
Indulging in the arts
The king at last
Usurped from throne
The Jester’s reign then starts

The midnight walk
Turns into morn
And visions fade away
But jesters in
the place of kings
Will never go away

I tried to be a secret agent
I smuggled the keys to your heart
Little did I know
You had changed the lock

My own muse
The words drain from my mouth
Can’t describe you
Can’t ever encapsulate you
My own muse
My words drip to the floor
Can’t satiate you
Can’t seem to overcome
My own muse
The words flowing to the cracks
Can’t slip you
Can’t ever break through the floor
My own muse
My words drying up
Can’t win you
Can’t ever seem to wash the mold

I keep telling everyone
I’m staying away from dating
Because I can’t control my emotions

But over time I’m pretty sure
It’s truly because
I’m too afraid of getting hurt again

The spear moved in slow motion
As if moving through water
Heading for your heart
Finding the mark
And tried
Gone

There’s so much I wish I could say
But as the dam holds the floodwaters
It shall cease till the day breaks
And the waves finally crash down below

Often travelers who start to thirst
Are greeted by a vision
Perhaps of an oasis
Perhaps maybe even a whole caravan
But although the traveler
May seem so content
His vision tempting his salivation
Throat cracking
The heat beating him down
Bones dried upon the sand
Calling for the lost prayers
From false gods

When i tell you I'm ok
I could be living
I could be dying

When I say I'm alright
I might be doing great
I could also be breaking down

When I'm fine
I could be happy
Or I could be crashing

But when I say I promise
I mean it

You drag me along
Fields of glass
Pushing my face in the
Shards resembling dirt
To your crystal cliff
Release me down
The spectral drop
Might be beautiful
If it weren’t the end

Maybe I need to shift polarity
Maybe that’ll bring you towards me
If only I became a bit more positive
Maybe a bit more negative
I’m not sure anymore
Maybe then you’d become attracted again

Sitting in the dark just gives me visions of you
No matter either way the wall is built
No matter the covering
No matter the adversity
Take me into your simple arms
Your sinful arms
Return me
Release me

Like a shadow in the night you arrived
Promised to make my every dream
As if upon angel's wings
You were there to comfort me and light my heart agleam

Like a bugle call you rang in my head
My inner consciousness booming with delight
The searing flames got to me
And annihilated anything that might

Like a shooting star you flashed into my life
Bringing light and with you a sense of alleviation
But when the sun then rose upon the hills
You made me regret falling for apparitions

I’ll continue to tell you I’m busy
As it releases me from confrontation
If I never must explain myself
I’ll stay in content sedation
Maybe if I push you away
I’ll get some sense of salvation
Simply need to escape this
Leave it to a simple serration

Breathing down my neck
like the truth ****** out from hotel hallways

tears fall by the window
out past the scaffolding of emotion below

a breath of lifeless air
as a boulder falls upon you, and crushes my being

the snap of my heart
when you say things are getting better

the hall's silence
as you see my broken eyes looking upon you

glares falling upon me
as i chose the wrong path yet cannot turn back

the truth becoming free
from the hotel hallway

The blade pushes deeper
And yet I smile
A sick enjoyment
Of torturous pain

The cage is loose
As so the beast
Within from depths
Comes with wounded hide

The gaze unbreaking
The bond unfaltering
The life unending
The pain unbearable

The enjoyment unwavering

Maybe I’ll finally start writing well
When I finally figure out who I’m writing about
Because it always starts with you
But I really don’t mind

It’s strange really,
How a poet stops writing
As many poets cannot simply quit their craft
As if drugs to an addict
Maybe they moved to pens and papers
Maybe they simply gave up
Unfulfilled
I await your return
Friend

My brain is wearing concrete sneakers
It’s laces and tongue a coarse rock
Intertwining through the synapses
Disappearing into thoughts
My brain is wearing concrete sneakers
The sole a cold and lifeless plane
Unmatched from the start
Thrown off the pier of memories

I sat alone
the train car bouncing
and saw the flash of red

Perhaps if not
I might just be
Going out of my head

However it's true
the crimson blaze
that was set before my eyes

I watched the world
get burned to ash
yet I don't feel surprised

This dreading feel
That pours within
from the depths of my soul

Takes me o'er
And leads my out
assuming all control

As horsemen clad
In various garb
pour from within the flame

I hear a voice
call out to me
so violent and yet so plain

The voice tells me
That I must run
lest I face my doom

Still i'm enticed
To further on
into the smoky fumes

I fall to the ground
my head on the dirt
body and mind both numb

You see my love
the horsemen sang
the end has already come

I probably spoke far too soon
Should've caught my tongue before it fluttered away
I know it left me for I'm at a loss for words
However I don’t think you’ll ever feel the same

Push me away all you want
Love me and cast me astray
End my soul and show me darkness
Allow me to leave on my own
Send me your condolences
Envy my happiness

What a funny word it is
As if said by a child
Bringing back all I’ve lost
And the lives I’ve left behind

The paper picks up the marks
And only after it is tainted
Is it beautiful

What do I do
Why the hell do I do what I do
I feel like a train hurtling towards another
Yet doing nothing to stop because I love the thrill of going fast

I met with a vampire today
Standing, freezing, and so unsure
It pierced my heart and soul
Burned me to my truest core

As I sat there in it’s stare
Unable to breathe, think, or go
It whispered with a thundering voice
Asking what I know

I trembled upon the cracked cement
Not knowing what to say
Yet without words or spoken tongue
It went along it’s way

And in that moment filled with fear
I finally understood
The vampire was just myself
Draining my life for good

They say by any other name it would smell as sweet
And yet you’re the sweetest I’ve seem to come by

We're like chromatics
So close together yet not in tune
We're like fanatics
So busy looking we miss our June

We're so focused on future
We miss what happening around us
We're so focused on the past
We miss the gardens and the flowers

Don't abandon me
Don't leave me alone
Please don't make me
Sit here with myself

We are lonely nightmares
Haunting pasts that will not leave
We are mental warfare
My livelihood you like to reave

Don't abandon me
Don't leave me alone
Please don't make me
Sit here with myself

Sitting in the dark
Your embrace like death takes me over
Wondering where's the spark
Just to hear you scream and lose composure

I want emotion
to feel your breath just one last time
Of pure devotion
to give it all up for my prime

I will take off my mask
just so long as you take off yours
I will show you myself
and all that's kept behind closed doors

The curses in your name
Pale in comparison
To the love that surrounds you
From my every breath

The memories in my mind
Fade with the likeness
Of a ghost in the nighttime
A phantom of the mist

I want to be happy again
I guess I’ll just hide behind
My cold eyes
And empty smiles
Looking at you
Under the guise
Of childish hopes
And broken promises

What gives you the right
What power do you derive authority from
And yet you come and act like you're in charge
Or you have some divine permission

Alas why but not to know
Come my bitter heart from within
Asking why you never notice me
Or why you can't accept your fault

I mean no disrespect
I do not mean to jab, poke or ****
But if you continue to act like you're better than anyone else
You'll have to be brought down

Consider me selfish
But I’m moving past it to heal my wounds

Consider me selfish
But I don’t need you in my life to be happy

Consider me selfish
But I’m living my own life and not trying to live the life of another

Consider me selfish
But I care about me more than you

Once we mature we forget about tricycles
Leave it to the less mature mind
A plaything for children
Maybe I should forget about tricycles
A remnant of the past I can’t forget
Holding to childlike fantasy
I don’t really think anyone likes tricycles
Cumbersome and slower than a bike
Not practical by any sense
When would we even use tricycles
Maybe a clown at a circus
A child down a hill before scraping its knee
Perhaps one day I’ll let go of tricycles
Hands off the handlebars arms held out
Riding a bicycle into oblivion

The steel constrictor
wraps tighter around my
aching bones

Every gasping
painful breath
leads me away from home

Why do I feel like
I need you to live

Why do I
want you back.

Serendipity in the Mundanity
We sit and we observe our lives
And we simply live day by day
Not prepared for the cycle to end
But the it does
And we’re lost
As a boat in a storm
As shoes with no feet
We sometimes must just sit
And appreciate
That though we’re cyclical
We must break the cycle
To truly appreciate life

Mannequins
Staring blankly
Motionless
Unfeeling
Yet fearful
Scared of what comes next
As they cannot do anything
To prevent it

I’m searching for an answer

Looking for a solution within
Every touch
Every breath

Asking questions I know I'll never answer
Or you
Alone

I don't know why
I don't know what makes this
I'm lost

Cement pulling me down
Drowning me in the vastness of the void
No choice but to watch the world disappear
Fading
No Answer
Black

gone.

I may be thick skinned but this situation is hard for me
Wanna be on the defensive but you raided my armory
Want you out of my heart but you’re in my arteries
Want the melody but you have me stuck on harmony
Trying to help being a personal pharmacy
But with you I seem to have hit the lottery

Have you ever been at your breaking point
Not sure where you’ll end
But the actions and words are telling you different narratives
And you can’t decipher either

When you’re about to fall and crash
And you can’t quite tell what’s going on
But you know what you feel
You just can’t place it

You know when you’re broken
And you’re picking up the pieces
And then you figure out what broke you
And you make yourself stronger than before

You know when you find it
And you leave your armor untended
And then at the last moment of trust
You feel the warm blood drip down your back

Imagine if I was normal
With normal thoughts and normal feelings
In a normal family in a normal house

But why be normal
Because if I were normal

…

I wouldn't have you