If they wanted to,
they would have and there's someone
out somewhere who will

11:54 AM
24/12/20

Do you ever
reread your words
and think,
"****,
what is wrong
with me?"

Dear diary;
At last,
it is Friday
and now I want
to make bad decisions
that I can survive.

I’m alone
with my own thoughts
for far too long for anything
to be a surprise.

I would fly to Mars
Just to see your smile
a smile brighter than the stars
It makes my heart leap a mile
I would swim an ocean
Just to kiss your lips
I’d feel as happy as a dolphin
That does all sorts of flips

she kissed the moon and
made the sun jealous, for her
light outshined the stars

2:04 AM
11/8/19

Today, I’m tired.
Work was dreadful.
Now I am home, it's almost comforting.
Yet, my body is in pain.
Other days, I feel awake.
Alert.
Even beautiful.
But today, I’m tired.

It isn't the moments of joy,
or the merry memories I miss-
it were the moments of silence spent with you.
To be in your presence-
the quietude-
for it was only you who understood me
and my silence better
than myself.

The problem isn't you,
in fact, there's nothing
wrong with you.
Stop blaming yourself
for things that others did
or things you could not control.
Do not question your worth
by the way others treat you
or making comparisons.
Do not second guess yourself
just because others choose to leave
or because they choose to lie.
You are doing well,
do not doubt yourself.

I may not believe in soulmates
but I do believe that there's someone
out there waiting for you-
whose face you will wake up to
for the rest of your life.
Sure, you may not believe me now-
you can't get over them today-
you probably won't tomorrow-
but just remember that
the silence is okay.
These grey periods in life
are finite and do not need
words to colour them in.

All this space between
us means nothing, if we want
it we will get it

2:23 AM
29/12/20

You only miss me
when you want to miss me and
it's taking its toll

9:15 PM
5/6/19

I thought
I was blind
until I witnessed,
first hand, the
beauty in your eyes.
Now I see why
I fell for you.

All those promises
we made by the sea
would soon become
my favorite
waves.

Maybe missing you
isn't such a bad thing.
Missing you reminds me
of all the good times
we shared and
to a time where
we were
real.

"Where have you been?"
She asked.
"A little bit here,
a little bit there,
a little bit everywhere."
I said.

Dear diary;
I ate a whole
wheel of cheese
for dinner tonight.
Regret nothing about this-
at least, not yet.

The moon still watches over us
but it doesn’t glow like it used to
It basked you in twilight
reflecting every smile,
every gaze, every hair
and every inch of skin
like a Monet painting
Before my eyes.
But now,
my prized possession,
is missing.
Hung up in
someone else’s museum,
across the world it seems.
Now I cannot paint
without my inspiration,
my muse.
And I can’t bring my fingers
away from your beauty,
trapped behind
twilight glass.

Touch me with the
sunflower you carry in your heart
and fill me with its warmth.
Let's plant a thousand more
as we watch our dreams
grow from
that garden.

This poem
is for you
because I simply
don't know any other way
to keep you close at bay-
to stop you from fading away.

Imagine us
the size of ants
dancing among the
flowers and the grass,
the bugs and
the bees.

Finding the right soul
is like searching for life in
the dark space above

1:25 PM
8/9/19

You are a haiku
written in the pages of
my poetic heart

2:07 AM
15/8/21

How am I meant to
dive into your heart when the
water is shallow?

10:38 PM
1/9/20

Write down all the things
they will miss about you and
hang it on your wall

11:39 AM
24/12/20

I see you differently now
I no longer need you
It took years to see who you really are
I no longer find myself identifying with you
I see now that you gave me the courage to break free
Break free from your beauty inside a black frame

I feel a weight of the world
Upon my shoulders
My stomach churns
And there is no escape
I tell myself there is a light
At the end of this tunnel
There has to be
The nights aren’t getting
Anything shorter
The thoughts aren’t
Going away
But there’s no turning back now
On this long road out of hell

Roses are red?
Violets are blue?
April sees the end for spring
and I am dead to you.

Here comes New Year's Eve
and all of the loneliness
it has always brought

2:24 AM
13/12/20

You are
sweet and spice
and everything nice.

You are
close yet far
like my favorite star.

You are
sun and moon
and I will see you soon.

Why do I love travelling?
because when I travel,
I am no longer me,
No, I am a series of me’s.
I can be who I want to be
In a sea of strangers.  
I can live someone else’s life
away from my daily strife.
I can set a new routine
in a brand new scene
and I can be far away
from my thoughts of grey.
Still, I am always under the same sky
Living another life, chasing another high
Yet it feels like I live in
another universe.

I'm sorry I
didn't tell you
that I was back in town.
I was scared, I was anxious
of this time and space between us-
an aching silence echoed across the seas.
You know that all you have to do
is call out my name
and I'll be back
in a heartbeat.

There's a riddle-shaped hole
Cutting deep in my heart
but I gave up in it
Long ago
I swore I had
Accepted defeat
But every now and then
I'll catch myself
Digging at
The riddle-shaped hole
You left
So long ago

Viking cats live
in such magnificent ways,
and he was no different-
Valhalla awaits him.

It's no longer
me and you,
it's just me and I
don't know what to do.

I wish to be a
man of hope again but this
life is just too cruel

11:16 AM
22/12/19

I am drowning
in this ocean we call life.
It's a bottomless abyss of
weight and worry.
I can't resurface,
it never ends and
I suffocate.

Each year is
a roller-coaster
of disappointment-
why would this year
be any
different?

Throw me to the sharks
and let me see how the beast
inside of you thinks

6:09 PM
9/7/19

You pointed
to the stars and
I gave you the sky.
You pointed
to the moon and
I took you to the moon.

From heart to paper,
thoughts have a way of getting
lost in translation

13/8/21
12:49 AM

I am still depressed,
I just don't think about it
as much anymore

11:01 PM
30/1/22

I still hope
that we fall asleep
on Io
tonight.

I never really cared
to dance in the twilight-
at least, not until I found someone
who hated the sun as much as I.
I still don’t care much to dance
but I at least have someone to sit with-
to feed off the moon
and the shadows-
having the time of
our lives.

Has it been too long
since the last time you truly
felt you were wanted?

8:28 PM
24/2/21

What was scary as the monsters
Was living in my head
all along.

**** fascism and
**** communism and ****
coronavirus

7:20 PM
4/6/20

The good news is that one day
I won't remember the
exact words that
broke my heart.
The bad news is that
I also won’t remember
how your eyes glistened
underneath the stars.

It's hard to let go
of the people and places
that once felt like home

5:45 PM
1/12/19

Every time you
think about if he
is thinking about you-
you are letting
him win.