I fell in love with you before I met you.

{ E.I }

You make my red lipstick smudged from all your kisses...

{E.I}

It was raining. It was cold. The sleeve of my shirt sticking to my skin, my flats wet and ***** from the mud and rain.

Suddenly, the rain stopped pouring down on me and a shadow loomed over me. I looked up, I saw him.

He was the one who shield me, rather than shielding himself. Held me so close, just so I wouldn't get wet. We laughed at how ridiculous we look as people stare at us. Cramped together under the small pink umbrella; our shoulders touching, our hands touched slightly.

If I knew what he had thought at that moment,
I wouldn't know what I'd do.

{ E.I }

"** Books are like drugs.
They help me forget the pain of reality, even if it's only for a moment. "

- {E.I}

"Oh my love future husband, I'm fine, I'm okay. But I know you know that I'm only lying. The world throws every challenge at me and somehow I thought I couldn't actually take it anymore. But then, I thought of you; of how you're somewhere out there praying to Allah for me to be okay. And so, for you, I'll be strong. I'll take every single thing the world throws at me. May it be heartbreak, grief or sorrow, I'll take it, stand tall, and simply make them let me be stronger. I know that everything happens for a reason, and every journey and hardships that I faced will somehow but for sure will lead to you and your love for me.
Oh my dear, I can't wait until the day that our paths cross and you become the one to hold my heart dearly forever.
Oh my future husband, every hardship I'll face will be worth it, I'll be a better woman, for you. I know the road is long and it'll be hard to continue moving forward but I'll always remember that the end of the road, you'll be there waiting for me, when Allah wants us to finally meet, and every pain I've felt before will soothed and ease just by the presence of you next to me, and then I'll finally understand the reason why I've gone through all those hardships and trials.
Oh my darling future husband, I'll stay strong, I'll stand tall, until you're here by my side. Until then, I'll continue on moving forward and accept every trials Allah gives to me."

- { E.I }

For you, I was never that special someone, was I?

- { E.I }

I'm no good
I don't deserve you
because I would wish for the person you like
to have someone else,
Just so you
could finally notice me.

{ E.I }

Let's go back to the beginning,
to the time before there was a 'you and I',
when there's only a 'You' and an 'I',
so that there won't ever be an ending
because
"Why end something that never had a beginning?"

{ E.I }

It's weird how you can easily forget something you thought that mattered.

{ E.I }

that fleeting feeling of fluttering butterflies
as they caught your attention
in that short moment of walking by,
in that short moment of seeing eyes
like the short moment of waves kissing land.
your thoughts momentarily filled with the "what ifs"
"what would it be like"
"how your life will be like"
Oh, what an innocent feeling that is.
those moments before knowing a person.

{ e.i }

You know that feeling where you thought that you really love that someone so much, you thought you couldn't really live without him/her?
Then suddenly, as time goes by,
you stop feeling that way without realizing it.
And you don't feel jealous when they were with someone else,
and yet you still seem to care?
That's how I feel about him.

{ E.I }

But you also ruined my mascara from all your hurting.

{E.I}

There he was,
his dark hair slicked back as he wove his hand through,
the sleeve of his white shirt rolled up to his elbows.
When he looked up, his brown eyes met mine.
It shone in recognition.
For a moment,
we turn back in time
in the days where I first saw you,
when we were younger and foolish.
But before my heart start to waver;
before the walls I've built cracks;
I turned around and walk away,
just like you did that summer day.

{ E.I }

I Wish
You could
Hear what
I really want
To say.

{E.I}

I wish
You would have not
Looked
The other way.

{E.I}

I fake a smile
So he won't see
The pain I feel
Within me.

{E.I}

I know that she's hurting inside,
I know how much it's killing her,
but she didn't show it.
She continue to held her head up high,
and face 'em straight.
She was strong enough to keep it in
until
no one was around to see her fallen tears.

{ E.I }

Have you ever have this feeling
where you feel like your heart is breaking,
while at the same time,
it's like one of your limps were torn from your body,
like walking on fire and broken glass,
like being stabbed repeatedly,
like being punched in the guts,
like being betrayed by someone you trust your life to.
It's all of those, but altogether at the same time, at the same moment.
This feeling was never instant,
but
it's long-lasting.
Do you know this feeling?
Because
it's what I'm feeling.

{ E.I }

You are beautiful.
Even with the bags under your eyes from your many sleepless nights.
Even with the stretchmarks on your thighs that you hate.
Even with scars you bare on your skin when you just wanted relief.
It didn't matter if you aren't the prettiest girl out there but to me, you are the most beautiful, with the most beautiful soul that is the only one that matters to me.
Even if you think yourself as crazy and odd.
Even if you only wear sweat pants and ratty t-shirt you always wore.
You are beautiful.
Never let others say that you aren't.


{E.I}

I hate the way you would tend to stare at me,
and the way you would ignore me.
I hate the way you smile,
and the way you styled your hair.
I hate your black hoodie,
and how much you love red.
I hate the way you laugh,
and how you act so weird.
I hate the way you get so close,
and how you actually aren't.

I hate you so much,
that I actually lied.

{ E.I }

With you,
it's like I'm eternally lost in a maze.

{ E.I }

This time I will be the one to walk away.

{ E.I }

Physically, she's okay, but emotionally she's got cuts and bruises.

{ E.I }

I'll love you,
even with all the scars you bare.

{ E.I }

Is like trying
to walk with
your feet cemented
to the ground.

{ E.I }

His love never really existed. It's just a heart-rending illusion.

{ E.I }

" You are the muse to my endless bittersweet stories, love. "

{ E.I }

You don't know how I feel but that's okay.
I wasn't planning on telling you anyway 'cause right now, there's too much on our plate already.
This feeling I'm feeling now will dismiss slowly, and it'll be okay again.


{ E.I }

I see you have walked away in short notice,
Nice to know how much I worth to you.
Just another easy target,
Another girl in the list,
Another heart to play with.
I shouldn't have let you in
in the first place,
I should have known we are just a detour off the main road.

{ e.i }