-x-


You heard the man
He was telling a lie
But it felt harmless;
so you had let it fly


Into the web
of nameless, faceless arachnids
who chewed it up
and spewed out in typeset


With no recourse,
it spread across the threads
As they kept on spinning
their yarn of hate


It grew with ancient tales
of temples broken, villages burned
And threats of history repeating itself
unless all debate was adjourned


Till a house of cards it was no more -
but a fortress you couldn't move
For you had by then forgotten
what used to be the truth


-x-

What you've heard
is not fact
but an opinion
What you've seen
is not the truth
but a perception

How will the vain
who love the noises of their own voices
gather the patience to listen?
Common sense has gone missing

They wield weapons
blunt and loud like a demagogue's growl
that defiles civil notions
Tools to toy with emotions

-X-

Glaring, with nostrils flaring,
at a divorce of nib and ink
My words, forming furiously -
Sharpen them more, rethink!

My words, they will cut deep -
They will pierce the thickest of skins
And find their way into dark hearts
to remind them what it is to bleed.

I know
You need just
A shoulder to cry on

And I am
Sorry I am not
Obliged

Mine
Are already
Burdened enough

From
Paying homage
To your shrine


Today you may see
Fire,
And smoke,
And ashes galore

But know this;
When they clear
I will be
Here no more

Your skin honeydew smooth
I shudder at the touch
From the break of dawn I crave you
With an abnormal lust
I know I shouldn't, yet I must..

I breathe you into me
With every kiss I place
Hoping that it lasts forever
But I know you'll never stay
All I'll be left with is the aftertaste..

You race within my veins
And run across my soul
Enticing me, exciting me
Till the sweat exudes through my pores
I never want to let you go..

-X-

I turn a blind eye to your poison
Although you're killing me
For my heart obsesses like a fanatic
And my mind reasons like a devotee

nothing made you happy
nothing gave me peace
yet now we found
the heading to where
we will be nothing soon

hold my hands
a final time
if only for a while
we will soon reach
the wake of our being

hear the music
that traveled before
in silence between us
let us fill in the lyrics
with what we wanted to hear

see the sun set
over the roads
we leave behind today
may new roots take shelter
and bloom tomorrow


and when the days to come
are gone by
if a fading memory intrudes upon
the happiness you find

may you pardon
with kindness or abandon
or interrupt my peace in turn
with fresh flowers
or old conversation


-x-

It's been a while
since I've felt her felt tip
scratch through the surface
Deep into my soul
to take me out of hiding

-x-

I remember how we parted
I regret not saying goodbye
And in a text back to a midnight apology
She had promised that she would write

She left an empty canvas
and a naive head full of dreams
and thoughts she never coloured
that festered deep within

I tried to draw her contours,
the little hat she used to wear
and beneath it, to recollect
the texture of her hair

But her pencils betray me
They don't want me to tell her tale
or mine if ever I was part of it
So I chose these words instead

Reams of paper in my cabinet
Meant for her delicate brushes
Black and blue stains of poetry adorn them
Like scars of sin on skin, permanent.

A million Gods to pray to
You'd think I was spoilt for choice
For my devotion was never aimed at them,
perhaps they do not heed my voice

-x-

It's been a while
since I've felt a felt tip
scratch through the surface
That provoked my senses
to come start fighting

I'm hanging on.. I'm hanging on..
But for how long?

I know the love you feel for me
"And I know
I don’t
deserve it"

Out to hurt because I’m hurting
"And I know
You don’t
deserve this"

So let me take my leave
Before the night is done
While you still will be dreaming
Of what we could become

I’ll tell myself
That I was too afraid
To take another step
Towards you

I’ll tell myself
That my mind is gonna let
me think I’d not regret
Losing you

...

You’re trying to make me heal
"And I know
I don’t
deserve it"

I’m ashamed of living in my skin
"And I know
You don’t
deserve this"

So let me take my leave
Before the stars are dead
While you still will be willing
To fall for someone else

I’ll tell myself
That I was too afraid
To take another step
Towards you

I’ll tell myself
That my mind is gonna let
me think I’d not regret
Losing you

...

A world of fantasy
where you’re chasing your dreams
trying to make me a part of it

And I’m struggling
to get back what I lost to another
trying to get back a part of me

I’ve forgotten how to love, how to feel..

"Oh I know,
You don’t
deserve this"

So let me take my leave
Before the sun can shine
Before the spring can blossom
And our fates are intertwined

I’ll tell myself
That I was too afraid
To take another step
Towards you

I’ll tell myself
That my mind is gonna let
me think I’d not regret
Losing you

-x-

The sunset by the sea
My feet naked, embedded
in the sand
As the waves greet me with ferocity

Punching back with clenched fists
Saltwater foam, elegant comb
through my hair
The ocean with all its depth condescending

All the colours of the universe in
a sky tainted, so gloriously painted
like a fresco
Of an olden cathedral I'd never seen

Sweat and salt and sand in my clothes
My eyes swollen, their whites stolen
unconsciously
Innocent are not the tears of the sea
---

Slow as the waves recede
with the retreating tide
So does the venom in my veins
and come loose the nails in my head
The shore sprayed with new hope
The night sky of a new moon arrives
Darkness heralds doubt
Yet I'm relieved to be
in the absence of the light
that seeked to
blind me last night

The sky exploded red that evening
as the sun descended on the valley
and in the silhouette
I remember
the oil lamp lit up by her door

With cold winds and tired legs
I made it up the stony trail
and through the fatigue
I remember
her little hut puffing chimney smoke


A simple meal to fill me,
a fire to remedy the frost
and in the light of the flame
I remember
her eyes adorned with a desolate shine

Night fell soon after
stars danced in the naked sky
and as the moonlight kissed the peaks
I remember
her warm hands subtly grasping mine


On the morrow
we said our farewells
but as I started my descent
I remember
a sudden pang of insoluble woe

and I rushed back
the path of green and stone
with all the nerve I could muster
I remember
leaving a letter in a makeshift envelope


As often as I was entitled
I found myself back in the lone hamlet
as if to keep an unspoken vow, every time
I remember
her eyes of sadness, her smile of greeting

until the day we broke tradition
for there was no familiar face
where the trail ended
I remember
the cruel north wind cutting me open


A decade since,
of prayers to false gods in prodigal shrines
and with eyes shut
I remember
her hair billowing before the winter snow

In the monotony of city lights,
of skyscrapers and street neons
rising cigarette smoke up in the sky
I remember
the dance of the stars, the warmth of her hold


--

Every time
I dare go up the hill since
and gaze at the empty summit,
These memories seem to keep waning

So as I move across the highway this time
I remember
to forget the trail route to heaven.


-X-

अल्फाजों में गुमनाम को
दाखिला दिलाएं कौन
महफ़िल तो रोज़ सजे पर
कल से उसे सजाए कौन

बहार तो बस मौसम है
दिल को ये समझाएं कौन
बदलते रहें पर ये ना बदले
कल यादों से बेहलाएं कौन

ना पता चूक हुई है किनसे
और फिर भूल दोहराएं कौन
के हर गलती ना होती गुनाह
कल हमें य याद दिलाएं कौन

-x-

The nameless in these words
Who shall grant them entry?
We are entertained everyday
But come tomorrow, who will be at it's centre?

Spring is just a season
Who will explain that to the heart?
They keep changing but it will not
Tomorrow who will coax it with memories?

I don't know who is at blame
And who is going to repeat their mistakes?
That not every mistake is a crime
Tomorrow who will make me realise that?

Again the winds have shifted
The light swings another side
The shadows start dancing
Abandoning me in plain sight

-X-