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chitragupta Apr 2019
Adults fight all the time,
like children -
So I should take the charge and grow up already!
How might I do that exactly?
Should I start by sipping a cup o' tea?
Or take a swig from the bottle of whisky?
Grow some hair on my face maybe?

But I still fancy chocolate milk
on the side of animal-shaped biscuits
while I plug my earphones in
to cut out the domestic horror story
Don't fight in the presence of children.
They will learn what they see.
Or worse, turn out like me.
chitragupta Mar 2019
Those who tried to claim me
Were unable to tame me
They stopped to blame me
Then started to maim me
Ever caught the wind, have you?

I care not for our defaults
I care not for societal norms
I wouldn't dabble in white lies
But take the bull by its horns
Did I break your rules, too?

A free soul cannot be caged so easily
They say I'm alone, but
I know there are more of me
Our love of freedom unites us
Soul siblings from green Mother Earth
They are too set in their own ways
To observe the world as I do
They desire a mirror, and me a window
Non conforming rebels unite!
Apologies for the rhyming pattern, it became a free for all :(
chitragupta Oct 2019
Dear Mama,

I've felt a darkness in me
Something not of your inheritance
But a teaching of this world

I know you've felt it too
You've feared it enough to think
one day I'll have my shoulders turned


Blood binds us in ways,
your love in others
These bonds are not so easily shattered

I know I've never said enough
But words serve demagogues,
To us, they do little matter


I trusted you
to put me on my two feet
I ask of your trust in me to walk

Your strength inspires more
than you have ever known
I might surprise you if I choose to run


You're always so wary
of the storm I'm weathering
But it's nothing that I can't take

I may have strayed from
the path you set me on
But I promise not to lose my way.
chitragupta Feb 2019
Put me to sleep
I'm so tired of the day
And so scared of the night
Your thoughts have made my mind
Their playground

Put me to sleep
For when my eyes open
There's you, or the want of you
And the certain reality that our
Roads have un-wound

Put me to sleep
Because I have to see you tomorrow
And pretend to be someone else
And all I wish to say to you
Must be spoken sans sound

Put me to sleep
I hate this reality
I hate this passing time
I hate the thought of the moment that
Will come with despair profound

Put me to sleep
Maybe I'll find you in dreams
Stitched from happy memories
Or scribbled pages, or olden journals
Where my delusions abound
chitragupta Mar 2019
Look, there's a trail of fire
across my gray wall
The scent of honey
within concrete and dust

The minutest of creatures
march on with impeccable conduct
chitragupta Mar 2019
I know today the world celebrates you
But in my heart, your festival plays all season
To craft songs in your praise is honour
And this wordsmith is honorable aplenty

I know I'll never know the pain
The way societies have pushed you when
You blinded them with your radiance
Now enlightened they can only apologise

Justice is the cry!
Tell me it is not my lone heart
I do not strive to appease,
it is just what every woman deserves
Even if I lend my hand to
just the ones close to my heart
They say intelligence comes from one's experience,
and wisdom from those of others'
Wise I have become,
so I pledge to be better than my fathers
Happy women's day, world.
As we celebrate the day, let us pledge to make a woman's life easier at work, school or at home.
And lend them our courage and support whenever we see institutionalised gender injustice.
Those little drops of individual effort can create oceans collectively even if governments are unable to.
chitragupta Feb 2019
You were never
Mine to lose
But I lost you
All the same

Would I craft
A thousand lines
Were it not
In your name?


Time will heal -
So you say
Distance will
**** these feelings

Should I try
And resent you?
I just cannot
Find a reason


Now my weeks
Are bleak
from the drink
And the damnation

Intoxicated
I stumble on
A path of
Self-destruction


A poet's love
Will not be
Extinguished
So easily

Not until
I'm playing
In my own
Greek Tragedy
chitragupta Jul 2019
Leaves shed
as she leaves behind
Those worn old faces and troubled minds
to a distant land
Her brave heart is fuelled by freedom

I walk alone
over graves gold and red
Rustle and crunch! complain the dead
With a grimace,
I bid welcome to my favourite season

The northwest breeze
shares a smoke with me
As I solicit the shade of a leafless tree
The dust gathers
around my feet, around my life uneven

A golden sky
when the red sun sets
A cloud floats by that resembles her face
with the colours
that make Autumn, to me, so appealing
Fall is the season to fall out of love. C'mon little sparrow. Fly.
chitragupta Oct 2019
The man
The untidy one
Hunger his mistress
She likes to watch him suffer, lament
Till he drops at the feet of Mother Pavement.

The wife
Fed up by life
For there's nothing else to feed her
There is no lamp in the city
that can lighten up her Diwali

The child
All bone and skin
clutching on to the alphabet
His coos of learning A, B, C
Drowned by the cacophony of G, D, P
my dickensian observations, with a pinch of satire.
chitragupta Jun 2019
There it lay forgotten,
in the shelf gathering dust -
A chapter that had once been opened,
and halfway through shut.

Maybe some day,
in the future near or far
Another may wipe the cover
and with love pick it up

They might turn the pages,
might even read to the end
So don't expect your bookmark
to stay on the same page.
Just another idea of masking thoughts behind realities.
chitragupta Mar 2019
When you tinker with broken glass
You must not complain for getting hurt
For so mercilessly,
so delicately it cuts
Why should I ever apologize for being broken,
when those who broke me never once did?
chitragupta Mar 2019
How the night turns cold
as I sit under the stars
The grass grows moist
around the plastic mat
Droplets of dew appear
on the walls of the tent
As I tune in to the nocturnal
song of the crickets

The fire dies, the fire dies outside.

-X-
chitragupta Feb 2019
At first
Change is strange
But then
Change is good

More often than not,
Some people should
Do you feel the change coming on?
chitragupta May 2019
My soul hunts cheap justice
Over the plains of carpeted floors
Beyond the savannah of desk chairs
Away from the huts of curious minds
and the shine of polished nameplates

My eyes seek cheap justice
Looking to the sea of masked faces
A mountain of guilt stands in between
An avalanche of shame crashes down
Forcing me back to my silent retreat

My heart finds cheap justice
in a kind word, or maybe four?
Or in an arm around the shoulder -
Maybe a smile as wide as the Amazon.
Priceless for me, an expense of your gesture.
Funny how one small gesture from one person can lift you up amidst all the other horrible things and people around.
chitragupta Mar 2020
To judge, to write
to scribble in the daylight
and crumple at midnight
To account for placid instincts
with the strength of an eagle's sight
The blue ink, the golden pen,
and the satchel white
That is all my birth-right

✒️
Belated world poetry day. Mash up chitragupta and a poet. I wanted to put this out sooner but just got caught up in a lot of work from home. Stay safe, everyone.
chitragupta Mar 2019
I would
Gladly open
The windows
Of my heart
But I'm afraid
The weather
Is too cloudy
For your liking
chitragupta Mar 2019
Colour me in your mind
Am I vermillion red
or prussian blue?
Maybe a mix of the two?
Or just a hue
Of simple forest green
No wait, aquamarine
like an underwater scene
Deep and darkness within
Yet maybe you enjoy shades
that are bright
and they look so
under the sunlight
But true colours show
only under the grayest skies
to the most observant eyes
You only get to know a person truly when they are at their darkest moments.
Oh, happy Holi from a Norman Gortsby ;)
chitragupta Mar 2019
I see letters float before my eyes, form words when I struggle to get them out
Little and a lot, millions of worlds form in my mind
Worlds with knights and dragons, ones with spaceships and lightsabers
And those where a hand reaches out to meet mine

I dare not shut my eyes, even as torpor sets in to counsel
A mosaic of bittersweet memories decorate my delirious porch
Heat courses through my blood, away from my heart
The sweat on my forehead feels like a familiar touch

My fantasies are real as long as I endure this stupor
Imagined reality is what I should live for
Love for
Because there, we're together.
Until I've had a vacation, she's gonna be coming back in my writings. Can't help it.
chitragupta Jun 2019
I would like to fly
to the far ends of the Earth
in your trail-

(But these wings were clipped so freshly
torn so frightfully, ripped so ferally
Alas! How cruel is destiny..)

-yet with
ichor and remembrance,
I shall have to be content
Now a little deception of my own.
chitragupta Mar 2019
Heart:
Wise one! Hearken to me,
for I need enlightening
-there stands a tree
in a part of me
once where flowers of love blossomed
and sparrows used to sing
to the mornings of eternal spring
Now the flowers have wilted
the birds have flown from their nests
yet the branches continue to grow
and the roots still run deep
I have not the courage
to task myself with its rearing
My memories of springtime
are still fresh, still endearing

Mind:
I'm afraid there is
but one cure for this disease
Along with the soil
that so graciously hosts it,
You must uproot this tree
and spend the rest of your life
as an amputee
The heart is too kind to fell a tree.
So the mind added an axe to the shopping list.
chitragupta Mar 2019
What genre of music do you like?

Mind:
What to declare
My love for soulful old melodies
Or pragmatic modern beats?
For there is no room for error here

Heart:
I am but a simpleton
As far as I am concerned
There exists just two genres -
The one I love and the one I don't.
When you are asked as a socially awkward person about your musical taste, a war in your mind to make a good impression, to avoid being charged with oddity in your taste but then, you like what you like, you hate what you hate.

PS. Sorry for the looooooooooooong title, but the heart gets the better of the mind this time :)
chitragupta Mar 2019
Mind:
Why must you always reconcile?
Do you not have a sense of self-respect?

Heart:
You see, wise one,
I used to believe that
I'm not the only one who cared.
I know the heart is but a poetic device. These conversations all happen in my head. But a well rounded conversation is more fun than a superb speech.
All in my opinion.
chitragupta May 2019
Heart:
I have a book of songs,
a collection of antique emotions,
carefully crafted for someone
Like how seedlings germinate
inside the womb of the good green Earth
feeling the warmth of a watchful Sun

Yet I pick up another,
a chronicle sans embellishments,
A tale every bit pure, every bit unspun
A familiar fear grips me -
clouds me, maims me, ****** me
as I open it with glum expectations

But I feel myself break,
to know of my absence from this tome,
with each page I anxiously turn
Did I not deserve
a chapter, a line, atleast a word?
Maybe I will find a footnote - none!

Mind:
Oh my dear heart,
Do not expect in return something better
because you've surrendered to her memories
Equivalence is just, but justice is not a quality

How do you plan to **** the one
whom you've already granted immortality?
At the price of a pun, get a paradox free.
chitragupta Jul 2019
Heart:
Look at her
and tell me-
is there anything more beautiful?

Mind:
Maybe a smile
that would have drowned in a sea of tears
but to the surface, managed to paddle through-
A smile without compromise,
that reveals for a moment, all of you
Take some time out to love yourself.
You cannot convince anyone else to do the same if you're not doing it yourself.
chitragupta Jun 2019
I'm stealing glances,
trying to hide behind
useless conversation

I'm taking my chances,
trying to conceal all my
misappropriations

Am I hurting or am I healing?
I'm not yet sure of what I'm feeling
I just sense your magic run through me
Like a thousand volts of ecstasy

I'm counting the seconds,
trying to delay the
pull-down of the curtains

I look to the heavens,
trying to beseech
the God that never listened

Am I hurting or am I healing?
I'm not yet sure of what I'm feeling
I just sense your abandon stagger me
Like a thousand volts of misery

Oh, you.
when I think of you,
it's as if sparks start flying above my head
when I look at you,
drums of arrhythmia keep beating in my chest

Am I hurting or am I healing?
I'm not yet sure of what I'm feeling..
Am I hurting or am I healing?
I'm not yet sure of what I'm feeling..
A thousand volts of lyric poetry.
chitragupta Mar 2019
A fork
we came across
and you said
this is where
our journey ends
for we must walk our separate ways

Why assume
that I would not
have shattered the Earth
to carve our own road?
Why so callous
in the manner you let me go?

My heart was your dominion,
oh Empress
And I put all my faith in you,
oh Faithless
bad memories ----- but atleast I'm thankful I can write because of them.
chitragupta May 2019
I do not have hearty anecdotes to share,
for I was never more than garnish on the plate
But do not think that silence is indifference,
It is necessary to keep my anguish contained

Come tomorrow, we will get to see
A new dawn for you, and a new one for me
For better or for worse I know not - I will be
without your jests and laughter for company

I know,
There will be a little less sunshine
O friend, philosopher, and guide
So I'll try my best to force a smile
But this is where we say goodbye.
Speak.
Speak.
SPEAK.

piano solo.
Cry rivers for an inkling. Is that a fair trade.
I am only as sad as how your God made.
chitragupta Mar 2019
I shiver
and
I writhe
The temperature
continues
to rise
Pain pushes
tears out
of my eyes
Fever came
to visit me
last night
And She
didn't leave
this time
And I never stopped to wonder why.

Body broken
Paralysed is
the mind
Ears tired
of the
preacher's advice
Eyes crave
a shield from
the sunshine
A hand to
caress beneath
the hairline
A pledge
of healing
from inside
Oh, you fool. You are so naive.


Vanquished by
the collective
apathy of reality
Imprisoned,
I swallow these
chemicals with servility
I shelter them
In the bloodstream
Treat the symptoms
Not the disease
I know
She will return again
someday with a surprise
And even though I am
Terrified
I will just take a pill
and tell Her I am fine.
Brrr, the chills of fever always inspire.
chitragupta Mar 2019
As children,
playing outside
to our hearts' content
was only when
we came home filthy

As society,
then why must we
clean up our act
and turn a blind eye
to censorship?

-X-
Remembering George Carlin and his comedy.

"Better a witty fool than a foolish wit."
-Feste, Twelfth Night, William Shakespeare
chitragupta Mar 2019
You were fire
I was ice
You thought
you'd melt me down
Melt I did
Turned to water
and put you out
Till there was nothing left
of both of us but
Smoke and ashes
Fire and Ice
are never nice
(to each other)
chitragupta Mar 2020
Secret plots and whispered conversations
They've drawn down their lines in the sand

My limbs and legs dance in painted mirth
For the strings are in their hands

But a part of mine has escaped their eyes
The smouldering flame, the closet arsonist

Parched with a desire, to set the world on fire
Tired and old, tied in a fold, the soul begins to resist

I know,
They'll come with sharpened claws
and hardened steel
But like a snake, I'll escape,
I will shed my skin
I'll crawl through the crevice
that they've never seen
They can't stop me forever
Yes - I'll be free!


The smell of incense and the sound of bells
do not appeal to the senses any longer

For the messengers swoop down like vultures
and I sense I am outnumbered

They're all cut from the same cloth,
Gloating authority and feigning wisdom

Unnecessary absolution awaits in their arms
should the sinner kneel before their Gods

I know,
They'll come with righteous preachment
and medicine
But like a rebel in defiance
I'll bathe in sin
They will pray, say, everyday -
that I am sick
They can't stop me forever
Oh I'll be free!


My pen does not understand the pangs of hunger
It does not feel the need to be polite
It dances to the tune of the chaos in my mind
It moves like a runaway kite

You know,
They want a people of marionettes,
to make promises they never keep
They want to keep us in separate boxes,
So that we may never meet -
They will try to take our languages,
Censor the truths we speak
But they can not stop us forever
This world is ours, and we'll be free.

Just you see.
gimme my country back.
chitragupta Apr 2019
I walk home under a red sky
back to my dingy apartment
I strip off the garb of the trade
and fall on the inviting single bed
Walls close in, but I'm thankful
for the large window beside my head
To watch the trees
To watch the birds return to their nests

Old coats seem like hanged convicts
From the jagged cupboard hooks
The only thing that is new
is the mountain of books
On my bedside, yet to read
I shall pick one up on the morrow
To feel coin well spent
To feel the surprise - will it be thrill, joy, or sorrow?

I place my blue hardback journal
on a makeshift table of cardboard box
I ensure the fluorescent sleeps
so I do not suffer unexpected knocks
Under a tungsten fire, with royal blue dye
I strike the pages with a fountain pen
To mark the week as done
To breathe back life into the poet again
I am thankful for all of you on hellopoetry for your inspiration, encouragement, critique -

I love to write, and I am bettered by your communion
So here I am, sharing with you, my Friday night ritual
chitragupta Mar 2019
Time is stagnant
I have tried
pushing all the buttons

It hasn't changed
for all my efforts -
this period tiresome

Gray skies
Not a drop of rain
Not a hint of the sun

This life is
too overwhelming
I'm ready for the next one
Exploring the psyche of a mind diseased by depression.
The individual thinks he/she is inside a video game that isn't playing out to their liking and he/she wants it to end and retry with a spare "life"
chitragupta Mar 2019
Your God, my wishes, never came true
Would He mind, if instead, I prayed to you?

The heart failed to reason, so the mind has to.
Putting someone on a pedestal. Bad idea.
chitragupta Mar 2019
Love is a phenomenon
Not dissimilar to gravity
Like an ignoramus
The stoic heart denies it

Until it falls.
My dear friends,
should you fall,
I hope the surface is soft.
chitragupta Mar 2019
Furnished rooms, refined cooling
An angry Sun, a helpless ozone layer
Lavish resorts, palatial homes
The Ents are silent in their prayers
Roaring turbines, whirring motors
****** waters, crying to be set free
Clicks and clacks, a touch and a swipe
Birds fall to the alien magnetic field
Travel the world, not fast enough
Dig and mine, crashing harbour wave
Fossils spent, air wears the smoke
Dinner is served on the tectonic plates

Every day the water becomes a little fuller to the brim
Every day the air becomes a little less thin
Every day the world becomes a little too big
Every day the land becomes a little less green
My second favourite colour next to blue.
But you've guessed what this is about haven't you?
chitragupta Mar 2019
I say,
if you have hate in your gut
Set it free
Make me the outlet
for I have the depths
of the sea
And the little drops
of venom
won't matter to me
A drop more, a drop less - all the same in the sea.
So unleash your negativity on me.
chitragupta Mar 2019
I'm not heartless
Just choose when to
use my heart less
Her
chitragupta Feb 2019
Her
Her hair is fire
Her face the summer sun

Warmth to the world
But scalding to one

Her eyes are ebony
With a seldom shine

That awaken tremors in
Fragile heart of mine


On the bridge between
Fantasy and reality

My thoughts shape
Hope and sanctuary

I gaze down at
The chasm underneath

Hoping to escape
Wishful thinking


On one end
A faint shadow stands

On the other
An absurd fairyland

Edicts of silence
Echo through my spine

What am I waiting for?
Maybe her voice divine..
chitragupta Mar 2019
What is home?
Welcome steps?
Mother's love?
Father's hate?

What is home?
Is it even a place?
Is it like Heaven?
Or is it another Hell?

What is home?
Is it a someone
who believes in you
when others say you're done?

What is home?
Is it a thought
that shelters your memories
when you're distraught?

What is home?
Is it the place
I'm searching for
or the one that I left?
Flying home tonight. You'd think I would expect rest and respite - far from it. We all search for the abstract 'home' all our lives. But what does that word really mean?
chitragupta Apr 2019
It is a respite
to forget for a while
that the number of candles grow
and birthday cakes shrink in size
gradually, each time

Curse this dream!
The doors kept on shaking
And all my strength was not enough
against His brute ferocity
But alas! Not enough to wake me

Must I live in bed
these moments of her death?
When indeed He comes for her,
I wish I can broker a trade -
to take me instead

Sigh..
If only I could stop Time.
Subconscious delivers a reality check. Happy birthday, Ma.
chitragupta Feb 2019
Do not tell me
It is not love
That fills me with joy -
The sight of
Your lips
Pulling at the corners
When you break into
A smile
Even if
I am burnt out
From inside

Do not tell me
It is not love
That raises my heartbeat -
The tension
In my nerves
When your
Eyes shine
Moist and sad
Too short to notice
Yet still I do
The narrowest span

Do not tell me
It is not love
That soothes my mind -
The sound
Of your voice
A symphony
Of fresh notes,
gentle chimes
The wind bears
Them once
I perceive them thrice

A fool undoubtedly, but one out of his time
Ancient are my thoughts, yet present is my crime
If this isn't love, I don't know what is
If this isn't love, then educate me
A poem is nothing as extraordinary as the subject that inspires it. Today I'll immortalize her in these words.
Tomorrow I'll look back here when she's gone.
chitragupta Feb 2019
Now that
I have
learnt my place
It is time
To teach
Them theirs
I finally feel what I've been trying to feel.
This makes things easier.
This moment. Is the point of inflection.
chitragupta Jul 2019
When she takes the hairpin out
and the darkness of the night flows down
Sparks of fire in those streaks of brown
And in that ocean tranquil, I wish to drown

When she rolls her eyes in annoyance
the world stops it's pitiful rotation
Time realises it's gross subjugation
And I relish that helping of frozen frustration

When she arches her brows inward
I pray that her temples don't fall for my error
A silent earthquake which may devour me forever
And in my heart held hostage, I feel it's tremors

When she twists the corners of her lips in a smile
the Sun starts peeking out from the clouds
Spectral drums in my heart beat aloud
And for this petty victory, I feel so proud

When she speaks into my ears
I lose all grasp on language and grammar
In her divine symphony composed of glamour
I cannot help but lose myself, feel enamored

-x-

As the clock keeps ticking, I ask but of her
these moments priceless
Knowing well that she may love these lines,
but not the man who writes them
Been really inspired by Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore this week. I remember I wasn't too fond of his work growing up, but now I realise what a fool I've been.
chitragupta Feb 2019
I wonder
If I ever come as
An unannounced guest
In your mind
Because you stay in mine
Always welcome
All the time

I wonder
If you're unimpressed
By the cover; I urge you
To take a peek within
You'll never know the narrative
If you've made your mind
Before you begin

I wonder
What felt sadder
To have your heart broken
Or shattering mine?
I thought I was the victim
But maybe falling in love
Is the crime

I wonder
If both of us are broken
Why not trade each other
Pieces of our souls
See if we can find
Edges that fit and
Close these gaping holes

I wonder
If we had more time
Would it be any different
Than how it is today?
Would you find me worthy?
Or would you still
Push me away?
It is always hard to be on the open end of a love-food-chain. All you can do is wonder aimlessly.
chitragupta May 2019
Time is money
And all my money is spent
On the letters I typed in
and pressed delete instead of send

Wasted my recesses
on machine made black coffee,
That was as devoid of sweetness
as the empty chair opposite me

All those hours
of thinking may have been in vain
For now I crave just a minute
to gaze upon your face again
There has been no greater need of a time machine than for a poet feeling regret.
chitragupta Sep 2019
आपको भुला पाने का इल्म हासिल हो जिससे
काश हमारे पास कोई ऐसी किताब होती
आपका नशा जो चढ़ा है, उसे भी फीका कर दे
काश हमारे पास कोई ऐसी शराब होती

आवाज़ आपकी जिससे टकराके ना गूंजे
काश हमारा दिल कोई ऐसा पहाड़ होता
के कातिल यादों से दिल को महफूज़ कर पाऊं
काश हमारे पास कोई ऐसा हथियार होता
Will add a translation later, sorry :(
chitragupta Mar 2019
They left to
defend your honor
They left to
defend your shrine
The false promise
of your heaven
In their juvenile minds
Armed with evil
heavier than
their own weight
God,
Tell me why the snow is red
Tell me why my brothers are dead

They left to
defend our mothers
They left to
defend our wives
The passion burns
in their blood
To protect the last child
Shouldered with
the burden that
the uniform dictates
Minister,
Tell me why the snow is red
Tell me why my brothers are dead

There is a strange
turbulence in the air
The wind reeks
of wanton violence
I feel the same rage,
I feel the same pain
I yearn for peace
and risk your hate
With your answer
my mind might change
So,
Tell me why the snow is red
Tell me why my brothers are dead
This is not a political position. This is a humanistic position. I have tried my best not to be misunderstood. So please try your best not to misunderstand me.
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