There once was a wandering girl, but she didn't wish to be. She only wanted to find her way, but the night was dark and she couldn't see. The darkness mattered not though, the girl thought in her head. Even if it was light, she would still be filled with dread. How do you find your way, if you don't know where you're going? If you didn't plan accordingly, you have no way of knowing. Would she choose a path or cut a trail? Would she become strong or would she stay frail? Would she ever figure it out? Would she ever conquer her doubt? She often wondered if anyone else ever felt as lost as she. That sad, wandering girl who didn't wish to be.
Life is not running smoothly at the moment. I feel alone, directionless and desperate. I am worn out, emotionally and physically. Sometimes the burden of “keeping myself safe” is too heavy. It is asking too much of me to “manage” all of... the follies, the nightmares, the triggers, the shame, the embarrassment, the rage the internal voices who scream and cry and rage…
all with no support. It is too much!
And trying to avoid all of that **** is like avoiding breathing, which I would not mind doing right now. Something has to give. There is only so much one person can deal with day in and day out every single day and night! There is only so much!
I am not equipped to handle an entire Pie of Crazy