if I were asked , are you okay I would know not what to say The way my feelings work the way they ebb and flow turns my headspace into an auditorium full of noise full of sorrow full of love with hopes for a better tomorrow I guess I'll say I'm okay because I've got to chase this wolf away It breathes down my neck It haunts every step it salivates at the thought of sinking it's fangs in again and again and again I'm hoping the meds take effect like a huntsman please release me from this beast Until that time comes I won't stop believing that I can be free
The repair of my mind is not as easy as it once was. I am broken. Longing to be fixed. Longing to be able to heal myself. Working slowly day by day to heal another piece that has grown gray with lack of light. Fading to black I fear Duct tape and super glue Only holds the fragments Of this mirror mind Reflecting constant strain Emotions Pulled tugged stressed Mentally damaged Spider webbing to my heart I can't take much more I need an escape A back door to these fractures I endure falling Trying to capture Juggling before they shatter further Gashes open up My insides are slowly showing Mental becomes physical Only so much I can hide Spotlighted to those who know me best Foreshadowed to others who don't This picture show of horror Generating more fears How do I ask for help When it's becoming too much for me Alone I thought I could handle this Face my demons I now know I need a bigger monster To keep me from being consumed And if I'm still to fall I won't have done it alone I'll call it a victory If someone could love me In those final seconds
Friend sent me the first part of this and I ran with it. It inspired me while I was working and had to take an early lunch just to jot this down.
Memories like broken glass fill my heart my sensible soul shards of you remain Tattering this perspective Leaving a broken person behind these eyes This Kerouac perception mounted on confusion for feelings left undisclosed Baffling me like a child Thunder and rain my only solace dark clouds my psyche mutually bound Like hurricane Galveston ripping apart these thoughts these transgressions mortally comforting like cigarettes on Sunday reaching forth grasping at straws so they say they always say but do they feel as I've felt? alone & tempered as glass the glum periphery engulfing melting me down eating away into a pool of nihility to harden to break these chains feels outdated unscripted nonsense in the background of my memories souvenirs a setpiece based on untruths
Are you anxious or excited? Perception tricks same headspace ticks Stretch beyond the point of comfort fearful of the pain it brings Persist the test through fight or flight response is timed Allow for growth gain knowledge and engage With experience we evolve