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chitragupta May 2019
Honestly, I was never your enemy
Sadly, you were never my friend
Foolishly, I placed my trust in someone
For whom I was a means to an end
C'mon.
chitragupta Jul 2019
I'm calling her name,
even though I've run out of things to say.
But because the clock is ticking,
I do not want this conversation to end.

If my words bear insignificance,
then I shall in patient silence, listen.
But I may never relive, re-love;
So tonight, let not her voice fade.
My silence is poetry. Hers is an assassin.
chitragupta Feb 2019
They said
Feelings do not matter
But facts do
What if it is fact
The way I feel
For you?

What new Hell
Have I
gotten myself into?
Making up my mind. Not always as easy as it sounds. Am i right?
chitragupta Mar 2019
I can't move my wings
I can't move my feet
Stuck and suffocated
under a slowly closing lid

My ignorance invokes my ruin
I have been so stupid
If that justifies this punishment
then yes, devour me

-X-
chitragupta Mar 2019
My extinction
is your biggest
misapprehension
Liquid rage crackles like
the snores of an inferno
slumbering deep within
Do you want to
pelt another stone,
drill another hole?
But then,
you'd best run home
and run for your life
for I shall emerge
from dormancy
to bring forth hot tears
across your cheeks

So halt your assault
Cease your trials
The fire burns
too close to my skin
I feel my restraint rapidly diminish -
it is the last wall
that stands in between
Run.
chitragupta Mar 2019
Yesterday,
You were the glacier
that fed the rivers in my eyes
Today,
You are the sea -
kissing the horizon with guile
Tomorrow,
You'll be nothing more
than a speck in the sky
Sorry for the stupid title
chitragupta Dec 2019
*** soaked letters go here and there
cooking curious conspiracies
Your charcoal lips command me
to get aboard the time machine

I close my eyes and comply
And instantly - Your arms are around me
Your heels help your lips up to my ears
Whispering things that sound heavenly

Then I pull you towards me
In dangerous territory
Maybe it was the whiskey
Could've been the psychedelic music

And the curtains drop
Over dark circles and cold sweats
As memories try to escape the strongbox
That we had swore to protect

I put the lid on the box of secrets;
Dawn arrives, as if to say that chapter's over
But your words still ring my ears
Would you've said them if you were sober?
chitragupta May 2019
बदन पे बरसात की बूंदे गिरे,
तो ना जाने क्यों जलता हूं में।

शाम का जाम तो बस बहाना है,
मीठी ज़हर निगलता हूं में।

तकदीर बदलना कोई खेल तो नहीं,
अब हिम्मत करने से भी डरता हूं में।

जीना तो तूने ही सिखाया है मुझे,
तो ना जाने तुझपे क्यों मरता हूं में।

दुनिया चले, तू भी चली,
बस पत्थर की तरह रुका हूं में।

आंखो में नींद आए ना जब की
मोहब्बत करने से थक चुका हूं में।
When drops of rain fall on the skin,
who knows why it feels aflame

The evening spirits is just an excuse,
Sweet poison I gulp into myself

To twist the threads of fate is no easy game,
Now to muster courage, I feel fearful

You taught me how to live,
so who knows why I die for you

The world moves on, and you did too,
But like a rock, I'm standing still

There is no sleep in these eyes even though
I'm tired of loving you
chitragupta Mar 2019
है अयसे ये लब्ज़ जो उनसे में केह नहीं सकता
फिर किस लिए ये खामोशी में सेह नहीं सकता
These words are such that I cannot utter to her
Then why cannot I bear this silence, I wonder?
chitragupta Feb 2019
डर लगता है उनसे नज़रें मिलाने में
के दिल घायल ना हो जाए अनजाने में
भुगतते हुए साजाए मोहब्बत
बेखुदी की हदें पार कर दी इस दीवाने ने
Pardon any errors in spelling. Hindi is not my first language
Literal translation:
I feel scared to look at her eyes
What if my heart gets wounded unknowingly
Suffering from the sickness of love
This fanatic has crossed the limits of senselessness
chitragupta Aug 2019
नज़रों से, इशारों से हमें घायल करने वाली
कभी बातों से, मुलाकातों से मरहम तो लगा

हमारे दिल ओ जान में घर बसाने वाली
कभी अपने में भी दे हमें थोड़ी सी जगह?
Translation:
You, who would wound me by your eyes, your gestures!
Heal me with your words, heal me with your contact

You, who have built an empire amidst my heart-
Could you ever carve a little crevice for me in yours?
chitragupta Feb 2019
दो पल रुक जाओ
गुफ्तगू अभी बाकी है
दिल में कई ख्याल है
मन में कई सवाल है
उन्हें शब्दों में कहने तो दो

न जाओ इतनी जल्दबाजी में
अब बेबसी में ही मज़ा है
और इनाम में भी सजा है
इश्क़ जो हुआ है हमें
उसका दर्द सेहने तो दो
chitragupta Jul 2019
हमारी मोहब्बत पे यकीन ना आया उन्हें
वो समझीं बस हमारी नादानी है

लकीर ए सियाही से इजहार जो फरमाएं
मालूम हुआ वो किसी और की दीवानी है

कीड़ा किताबी, अब बन गया शराबी
रगों में खून नहीं, जाम और पानी है

मगर दर्द की चादर में लिपटने का क्या फायदा
सिर्फ हमारी नहीं, ये तो हर शायर की ज़ुबानी है

वही पुरानी कहानी है
Was probably not a good idea to take a break from writing in the first place.

Translation:

The same old story

She wasn't convinced of my feelings
She thought my love was naivety

With ink and lines I expressed my love
But found her infatuation lay elsewhere

The bookworm, now indulged in drink,
Spirit and water flow through these bloodless veins

But it is pointless to be shrouded in sadness
For it is not mine alone, this is every poet's tale

That same old story
chitragupta May 2019
हो चाहत में इतनी शिद्दत, के कोई ताकत सामना कर ना सके
हो दिल में इतनी मोहब्बत, के नफरत भी मुकाबला कर ना सके

Let my desire have such intensity that no power dare face it
Let my heart bear such love that no hatred can ever match it
The sure way to **** temptation is to face it.
again and again.
and once more.
or twice.

Titled प्रेम पुजारी - translates to 'Priest of love'
chitragupta May 2019
कैसे समझाऊं की कितना नादान है तू
अपने ही हालत से अनजान है तू
सच्चा है तो सच क्यूं बोल ना पाए
ए दिल, कितना बेईमान है तू

कभी होंठों पे हसी का इनाम है तू
कभी पलकों में सावन का पैग़ाम है तू
गिरगिट भी हैरान तेरे बदलते रंगो से
ए दिल, कितना बेईमान है तू

सोचता था कि सतरंगी आसमान है तू
पर अब लगता है मौसम ए तूफान है तू
ज़ंजीरों से है शिकायत पर तोड़ना भी ना चाहे
ए दिल, कितना बेईमान है तू


How to make you understand how naive are you
Your own feelings are unknown to you
If you're truthful why can't you speak the truth
O heart, so dishonest are you

Sometimes a prize of a smile at the lips are you
Sometimes the message of monsoon in the eyes are you
Even a chameleon is dumbfounded by your changing colours
O heart, so dishonest are you

I thought a rainbow-filled sky were you
But now I feel a raging storm are you
You complain about your chains yet don't want to break them
O heart, so dishonest are you
The heart wants what it wants.
But what if it doesn't know what it wants?

Will add a translation soon..
chitragupta Oct 2019
यूं सोचता हूं में..
खुद से पूछता हूं में..

आखिर क्यूं आपको पुकारने की ख्वाहिश होती है?
क्यूं जगते रहें वो पहर जब दुनिया सोती है?

वोह लकीरें क्यूं मिटे भला, जो बुलंद कल थे?
नज़दीकियों के पल क्यूं खामोशियों में बदले?

आपकी नाराज़गी भी मिल जाए, हमें वे मंज़ूर है
मगर बर्दाश्त नहीं होता जो आप हमसे दूर है

इश्क़ में की हुई गुस्ताख़ी भला क्यूं ना माफ हो,
जब आशिकी में डूबते हुए के इरादे साफ हो
I think at times..
Question myself at times..

Why do I wish to call you?
Why do I keep awake at the hour when the world sleeps?

Why should these lines fade, that were so distinct yesterday?
Why have the moments of togetherness turned to those of silence?

If your only response to me would be fury, I would gladly accept it
But I cannot seem to endure this distance between us

Why cannot a fault made in love be forgiven,
if the one to blame had intentions that were honourable?


-x-

Pulled an old one from my diary, because I have so many unfinished ones now :(
chitragupta Feb 2019
सुर्ख़ियों में रहता था उनका नाम
आज बो चंद अल्फाज बन गए
खयालों में उनका बसेरा सजाके
आज हम देवदास बन गए
Pardon any errors in spelling.
Hindi is not my first language.

Literal translation:
Her name used to be part of the conversation
Today it has just become a string of words
Creating her sanctuary in my thoughts,
Today I have become Devdas

allusion: Devdas
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devdas
chitragupta Mar 2019
क्या कहूं उनके हुस्न के बारे में
क्या तारीफ करू उनके आंखो की
क्या तौसीफ करू उनके जुल्फों की

हसीन तो उनकी बातें है
हसीन तो उनकी यादें है
जिनकी वजह से ना गुजरते ये रातें है
What should I say about her beauty?
Should I praise her eyes?
Should I admire her hair?

The beauty is in her words
The beauty is in her memories
Because of which these nights are unspent
chitragupta Mar 2019
আঁধারে দুর দিগন্তের কোমল আলো তুমি
ভূবনের অন্ধকারে আশার প্রদীপ জ্বালো তুমি

গ্রীষ্মকালে দুরন্ত স্রোতের কালবৈশাখী তুমি
মধুর চেয়েও মধুর কণ্ঠের কোকিল পাখি তুমি

প্রথম বর্ষায় রাঙা মাটির ভেজা গন্ধ তুমি
আমার মনের সংগীতের সুর ও ছন্দ তুমি

ভোরের বেলায় কানের পর্দায় কলরব তুমি
একঘেয় দিনের অন্তরালে উৎসব তুমি

বরফ মাখা কাঞ্চনজঙ্ঘার সোনালী ভোর তুমি
বঙ্গোপসাগরে ঢেউয়ের কোলে কল্লোল তুমি


এ কি অদ্ভূত খেলা, চেতনা আর নেই এ মনে
খুঁজে পেলাম না, হারিয়ে গেলে যে হৃদয়ের কোণে
People say when I'm at my worst, I write my best.
I think they're telling me not to fall in love again.

Translation:
Gentle twilight in the horizon at dusk, it is you
A lamp of hope in the darkness of the earth, it is you

The furious speeding summer tempest, it is you
The call of the cuckoo, sweeter than honey, it is you

The smell of wet red soil on the first rains, it is you
The tunes and rhythm of the song of my heart, it is you

The chirping of birds at dawn on my eardrums, it is you
A festival at the heart of a mundane day, it is you

A golden dawn above snow capped Kanchenjunga, it is you
A strong current amidst the waves of the Bay of Bengal, it is you


What is this strange game, my mind has lost all consciousness
Couldn't seek you, hidden somewhere in the corner of my heart.

— The End —