If there is one thing that couldn’t Be further from the truth, Nothing in this life is free. To do better in chase of sanity. One of the greatest forms of currency, In a world of chaos everything Has a cost. No matter the need or want, Yet I am ever so appreciative. To be housed, clothed & fed with working Lights and water. Stability, an antidepressant in a world You wake up & do the same thing over & over. If there is one thing that couldn’t Be further from the truth. Nothing in this life is free, & I Ever so appreciative. I’d gladly pay weekly, biweekly, even monthly. I feel that much closer to liberation Under the roof of your smile, A sense of privacy unlike any other. Your lips the doorbell to inner peace. Your hands a meal to feed thousands At a time. Although nothing is free, I am ever so appreciative that a smile Doesn’t cost a thing. I couldn’t think of a better representation, A better place to be
The place I'm staying in is my body She makes my decisions She rolls my eyes Every dress I wear is hers Having a body means nothing is really mine on the inside Hardly out of my mother yet and my cries don't belong to me My credit card is food to make my body stay still But that puts me in debt And she wants to run because she needs me to pay rent My body has issues with me that I don't understand What's the problem if I don't want to move? I think. If I want to smoke why can't I? If I want to thrash around my room and break her. Why can't I? Why does she love so easily? Why does she want to be alive so badly? The bodies around me own their tenants Their tenants are owned by other bodies Our bodies are like children who cry when hungry There are some things that need to be articulated There are no more lives left to live and my body is grasping on to me like a lifeline At the same time she's trying to stop me from drowning She needs me to feel immortal Even though I already am
to those who not born an aristocrat, what it means to be a human-being? a terrible exhaustion - result of attrition soulless slave - six days a week is there any other alternative, though I cannot outstare the bill faces rent will due soon endless presentations pointless meetings 118,000 unread emails week long business trips "bare minimum to get by" prohibited I have lunch delivered snacks delivered dinner delivered I have all the food inside my office and a beautiful apartment facing the sea with the sun rays peeking in through the blinds each morning but I'm just too busy hopelessly hoarding pennies hopefully saving enough joy for the future they say your hardwork will come into frution repeating cycles of entire career till retirement?
050620 | 15:40 PM - sunday in transition season of cobid-19 pandemic
When will the time be for me to speak, about the things I hold in or why there is no escape? I still haven't found a way to break free because of my misplaced trust and confused expectation to find a road worth walking. Now I would say that I am running away or floating around, driving to that destination where I think my dreams will be found. The place I know I want to be terrifies me. It's there I will be seen and start opening. Escape is so close it's like I'm holding it. I know the 11 more months will pass like shedding skin, because on day 32 I see I'm taking steps too small again.
if you don't write, how will you know if you're writing right?
It's that time of the month again, your rent is due. You'd better pay up or I'll beat the hell out of you. Don't try to get out of paying again, I don't want to hear an excuse. Stop trying to get pity by saying you were a victim of ****** abuse. I want my money, I don't want to hear excuses or lies. When it comes to giving me an excuse, don't even try. Do I get my money or do you get a beating? Pay me or my fists are what you'll be eating. You just insulted me, you said that I'm so fat that I look like the Goodyear Blimp. I just punched you in the face and you've started crying because you're a wimp. Stop blubbering like a two year old, be mature like an adult. And I will permanently disable you if you hurl anymore insults. I'd like to avoid sending you to the emergency room and myself to jail. Just gimme my **** money, I'm getting tired of having to raise hell.
Passions are for children; A passion can't pay your rent. Rent is made to **** your passion. Don't you see that the real you is crying? Wake up, you're stuck inside dying! Stuck inside you, stuck inside a house! Rent is gnawing at you, you're dying.- You've been dying! You've been lied to. No more hiding! Your rent's due.