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Nov 2020 · 257
Worries
Isabella Nov 2020
I suppose my biggest worries are yet to come
Which is perhaps why I pretend I have none
I wait for the day when my body grows numb
When my heart will be broken, innocence undone
Nov 2020 · 164
I Promise
Isabella Nov 2020
I promise to you
My soul is at peace
My mind is at ease

I promise
My hands are steady
My heart is ready

I promise
I can finally be brave
I’m willing to be saved

I promise
I love myself
Before loving anyone else

I promise
To you
I am passionate
And true
I am confident
Through and through

I promise
To me
I am brilliant
Full of dreams
I feel radiant
And free

I promise
These heavy words
With a tone
So very sure
With intent
So very pure
But with a pain
That can’t be cured

I simply don’t matter
My last hope has shattered
Can’t death come along faster
I simply can’t last here

Yet I promise to you
That I’ll be alright
As my eyes fill with tears
I say I’ll make it through the night
But behind my back
Barely out of sight
I take my *******
And cross them tight
Nov 2020 · 223
Chosen
Isabella Nov 2020
Words still unspoken
Hearts remain broken
Ever since the moment
I was not chosen
Nov 2020 · 132
When the Wind
Isabella Nov 2020
When the wind blows strongly from the east
And the rain falls softly in the eve
While the waves are crashing in the seas
And the dewdrops trickle from the leaves

I close my mouth, I dare not speak
Though I know your hearts won't break for me
I hear the echoes of your pleas
And I promise I will never leave
Nov 2020 · 207
Reflection
Isabella Nov 2020
You know you’re broken
When your own reflection
Won’t even look you in the eyes
Nov 2020 · 285
Tiring
Isabella Nov 2020
Self-loathing is tiring
But god, it’s inspiring
Anyone would be lying
To claim they weren’t trying
To work day by day
To mend their mistakes
To reshape their ways
The ill strive for change

The strive to improve
Or perhaps just to prove
The pain is the truth
The weaknesses too
With all the crying
The bleeding, the fighting
Self-loathing is tiring
But god, it’s inspiring
Nov 2020 · 162
Hatred
Isabella Nov 2020
I hate myself
I hate myself for everything I am
And I hate myself for everything I’m not
Nov 2020 · 225
Forgettable
Isabella Nov 2020
A shallow wish to be memorable
While the truth is she’s forgettable
They move on nearly just as fast
As the time it took her to get attached
It seems that people never last
And neither does the past
messy, but it’s just a rough draft
Nov 2020 · 115
Melancholy
Isabella Nov 2020
I suppose humans are rather complicated
Blurs of unkept promises
Broken dreams
Shattered motivation

Mistake upon mistake upon mistake
Turmoil
Distress
Insanity

How to cope in a world where nobody validates raw emotions
Or perhaps it’s only me who feels this way

I suppose life is rather complicated
Simply practice for the permanent emptiness of death
Nov 2020 · 312
Fade
Isabella Nov 2020
I would never wish you away
I only ever wanted you to stay
But every passing day
Your footsteps start to fade
Nov 2020 · 187
Balance
Isabella Nov 2020
She’s told she talks too much
Or not enough
Forced to speak up
Or just keep her mouth shut
Nov 2020 · 308
You’ll Be Okay
Isabella Nov 2020
You’ll be okay
One breath at a time
A step to rewind
You’ll be just fine
You’re okay
Nov 2020 · 199
Eternity
Isabella Nov 2020
I have yet to meet somebody I can spend right now with
If no one even wants me for a moment
How am I supposed to meet someone I can love for the rest of my life?
And more importantly
How am I going to find someone who wants to spend eternity loving me?
Nov 2020 · 324
Jealousy
Isabella Nov 2020
Acknowledging jealousy
Only validates insecurity
But why pretend
To be content
Oct 2020 · 92
Hope
Isabella Oct 2020
Is the world falling apart
Or are we simply losing hope
Oct 2020 · 414
Shadows
Isabella Oct 2020
I sing to the shadows in my room
And play the piano to comfort my gloom
I hum in the hope that something will bloom
And write as I await my own doom
Oct 2020 · 187
Which is Worse
Isabella Oct 2020
Do we idolize normality
Or demonize insanity
And which is worse
Oct 2020 · 121
Society
Isabella Oct 2020
Society is finally falling apart at the seams, fighting and rioting and more violent scenes.
People are speaking but nothing is changing, there's still so much chaos but no one is waking, the problems we're facing aren't near to erasing, yet there's fleeting, retreating, the passion is fading.
There is pious bias, harm to hide us, a strive to be righteous, pleas for quiet.
Pressure to conform to the norm and perform in good form amidst thunderstorms and swarms of people you're supposed to trust to judge you.
Because I guess they're the ones above you.
They don't love you or trust you or even speak up for you, they are the ones you believe.
They are society.
The root of propriety, the cause of anxiety, the eyes who watch silently, observing the sights to see, shaming variety, faking priority, escaping notoriety.
Replacing humility and civility with hostility and words that are sickening.
Is it worse to idolize normality or demonize insanity, for both are a tragedy.
I guess a cake's not as good without all the frosting and you can't be a leader without being called bossy so might as well put on a show for the souls who see what you do, your every move, the choices you choose.
The cause may be lost, at what cost?
You've carved out your flaws from your heart.
Pause.
Don't change who you were from the start.
Don't conform to the norm 'cause you're fine on your own and society's lies will soon catch up to greet you, faceless faces running to meet you.
Exhale.
You're still there.
It's not fair now but I swear further down, things will work out.
We always put the blame on society with dubiety but it's clear to see that's rightfully so.
But what people forget is the cycle that's set is all in our heads, and will stay that way til we mend our mistakes and eventually learn how to bend it.
this is verrry messy so i'll definitely try and rewrite it at some point. that was as much of a mouthful to write as it is to read
Oct 2020 · 471
In My Closet
Isabella Oct 2020
I wanna shut people out til I'm all alone
And cry to my music til my head explodes
I wanna break down while nobody knows
Lock myself in my closet as my heart implodes
Oct 2020 · 162
Write
Isabella Oct 2020
A writer writes for themselves
An author writes for the world
A poet writes for those who cannot speak
Isabella Oct 2020
i am currently working on publishing my poetry into a collection
i don't expect to make any money
nor do i imagine that i will gain any popularity
but this is an accomplishment that has added motivation and excitement into my life
i know it will be difficult and draining
but wish me the best of luck
if anyone has any tips, please let me know :) <3
Oct 2020 · 224
Worth
Isabella Oct 2020
Your soul is worth saving
Your heart is worth shaping
Your legacy's changing
You're not worth erasing

I promise.
Whatever you may have done
No matter the person you think you've become
You're someone, worth waiting for, your story has only begun
Oct 2020 · 411
You Deserve
Isabella Oct 2020
You Deserve
To be
Whole
Loved
Smiling
Inspired

You deserve
To feel every thrill of living
Because you are an individual that is unlike anyone else in the world
You deserve to realize
That your existence is a blessing

So do not settle for misery or dissatisfaction
Life has more to offer you than a broken soul
Oct 2020 · 241
Do not fret
Isabella Oct 2020
Do not fret
For the hole in your chest
Cannot stay hollow for much longer
In due time
A heart will fill the void
And you will feel again
Oct 2020 · 120
Patience
Isabella Oct 2020
Sunsets turn to stars
As scratches fade to scars
With time walls fall apart
While patience mends the heart
Oct 2020 · 611
Heard
Isabella Oct 2020
Sometimes I don’t care if you’re listening
But I at least want to be heard
Oct 2020 · 202
Monologue
Isabella Oct 2020
How can I possibly expect someone to love me when I can’t even tolerate myself.
How can I hope to be somebody, anybody, when I’m nothing but a blink amidst the infinite abyss of existence.
Even on my own planet my life won’t be much to remember.
An enemy to myself, a stranger to the world.
Isn’t it unnerving to realize that if I slipped away, the planet wouldn’t know any different.
The ground wouldn’t miss my steps and the sky wouldn’t grieve my gaze and the atmosphere wouldn’t mourn my breaths.
Just another body that doesn’t stay, only fades and eventually decays.
This is why legacy is so important, I suppose.
The only way a soul can truly live on.
Even if earth would go on just the same, even if history wouldn’t notice me gone.
Oct 2020 · 251
Masterpiece
Isabella Oct 2020
Well-spoken, well-written
Talented, gifted
Driven and willing
Broken but healing
Confident, capable
Ambitious and able
Beautiful, striking
Uniquely enticing
Mind full of brilliance
Strong and resilient
Kind and persistent
Bright and ebullient
Selfless, joyful
Trusting and loyal

A masterpiece the world adores
For she is everything I'm not and more
Oct 2020 · 367
Sometimes
Isabella Oct 2020
Sometimes I think about
All of the words
That never escaped my lips

Where are they now?

Are they waiting restlessly to be spoken?
For the sweet release from the darkness of my mind.

Or have they long since decomposed?
To be forgotten, until only whispers remain.
Oct 2020 · 267
Louder
Isabella Oct 2020
Saying the same words
Louder
Won't make me listen
Oct 2020 · 291
I Learned
Isabella Oct 2020
Today I learned
The sky isn't blue
It's red, yellow, orange
Green and purple too
It's just that we are
Too blind to recognize
The kaleidoscope of colors
Right before our eyes
Oct 2020 · 160
3
Isabella Oct 2020
3
3 years
A hundred tears
A thousand fears

3 months
No hugs
No love

3 is your name
3 is my pain
3 is your face
3 is the change
Oct 2020 · 367
Scars
Isabella Oct 2020
The nails at the ends of my fingers
Are a different kind of blade
They aren't ice cold or sharp
But I bleed just the same

The scratches on my arms
Are from a different kind of pain
It isn't deep and firey
But the scars still remain
Oct 2020 · 154
Fell
Isabella Oct 2020
We both fell in love
But I fell too far
Cuz I climbed too high
And you were too low
Oct 2020 · 376
Demons
Isabella Oct 2020
When I mention my demons
You picture creatures of horror
Contorted faces of terror
Alive to haunt my dreams
And corrupt my mind
With malicious laughter
You imagine twisted voices
Laced with insanity
That push me into the dark
With a touch as cold as a knife’s steel blade
You fear the thought of them
Of me

But my demons are gentle
They’re quiet
I feel their warm breath against my ears
When they whisper softly
Perhaps you don’t hear them because you aren’t listening
For their sharp words
Are said out of love
And their nails digging into my skull
Are only there to keep me safe
In the absence of their presence
I am worse
Which is why I let them stay
Because my demons are real
Oct 2020 · 271
Sunset
Isabella Oct 2020
Morning ebbing into a still black night.
Blue stars glistening in dim moonlight.
Gold sky dissipating, world growing dark.
Shadows resurfacing beneath silver stars.
Oct 2020 · 85
Words
Isabella Oct 2020
Words
Can hardly even scratch the surface of my sorrows
Words
Could never fix the aching in my heart
Or repair the damage I've done to myself
Or heal the broken parts of me
Words
Flood my mind like ocean waves
Spilling out my eyes in salty streams
Causing a pounding pressure in my head
Like a heart that I wish would stop beating
Words
May never fully express the apathy blossoming in my body
Or convey the suffocating emptiness I'm left alone with
Or ease the anxiety dancing through my veins
Words
Are just letters
And letters
Are just symbols that we throw together in attempts to bring meaning to something
So how could words
Possibly
Help me
Sep 2020 · 1.9k
Holding On
Isabella Sep 2020
My trembling fingers are losing grip
Any moment now they’d slip
But what’s the point in holding on
If my heart isn’t quite that strong

My broken eyes can hardly see
The shaking ground right beneath me
But what’s the point in waiting more
If the ending’s just the same as before
just a second longer, perhaps it will be worth it after all
Sep 2020 · 284
Slip Away
Isabella Sep 2020
A disappointment to my parents
A bother to my brothers
A nuisance to my peers
A burden to my friends
A name to my school
A face to my loves
An enemy to myself
A stranger to the rest of the world
For if I slipped away, at any moment
Hardly anyone would know the difference
The planet wouldn’t notice me gone
The ground wouldn’t miss my steps
The sky wouldn’t grieve my gaze
The blanket wouldn’t mourn my tears
Not even I
Would wish for me to return
🖤
Sep 2020 · 136
Instead
Isabella Sep 2020
Heart in my stomach swells with dread
Numbing at the words you said
The cold truth pounding in my head
The truth that you like her instead
oh the pain, when feelings aren’t reciprocated...
Sep 2020 · 52
Essentially
Isabella Sep 2020
Essentially, you do not care.
Precisely why I'm standing there.
A lonely half of a broken pair.
While you're content, it's only fair.

Essentially, you do not see.
The simple way that you hurt me.
A far-fetched possibility.
While you're unaware, happy.
Sep 2020 · 615
Poet's Lament *rewrite*
Isabella Sep 2020
...A blue aurora full of brume, an atrabilious expression of grief
A haunting sight watched by the moon, sheltered by the cobalt reef
An arrantly perfidious man, where arrogance lies beneath
Distressing her and even then, apologies never escape his teeth...

‘Tis a broken song to sing, a bleak melody to ponder
The aching loneliness does bring, wounds not healing any longer
Tune flows out like streams of blood, lyrics sharp and somber
A poet’s hurt such as a flood, waves crashing ever stronger

Teardrops of the mighty flood, have now trickled to a river
Feet treading through the layers of mud, in their failing feat they quiver
A siren weeping ripples here, mourning love you refused to give her
That plangent song caresses ears, touch chilling as a shiver

Her throat burns yet she goes on, soft enough to make the earth quake
The very ground you step upon, rumbling with her tragic ache
How do you turn a blind eye, she’s been torn by your mistake
Her very soul does cry, while you can hardly even shake

She exonerates all you have done, furthermore she does beseech
Perhaps she’s lost but you’ve not won, alas her heart you shall not reach
A precious gem amidst the coal, enchanting those who wander near
The scene is stirring as a whole, dulling any calm presence here

A storm has passed tonight, though you still do not repent
Siren sings beneath blue moonlight, of the love she does resent
A lullaby to make you tremble, deep beneath the twisted torment
No longer shall she dissemble, all but you shatter at the poet’s lament
added a few paragraphs and rewrote some lines, enjoy <3
Sep 2020 · 280
Haiku 3
Isabella Sep 2020
Succumbing to pain
Growing numb to the ice chains
Forgetting the cage
Sep 2020 · 553
Haiku 2
Isabella Sep 2020
Behind every set
Of beautiful, glossy eyes
There's a whole story
based on the new word i discovered, "sonder". a poem with that title will be coming soon <3
Sep 2020 · 74
Haiku 1
Isabella Sep 2020
What happened to her
Once she was lively and bright
Now she seems broken
Sep 2020 · 225
Thunderstorms
Isabella Sep 2020
Thunderstorms rage outside my window
Lightning blinks at it watches me cry
If I drowned in the rain, no one would know
Amidst the chaos nobody would notice me die
Rewrite of the last two lines from a poem I wrote a few years ago..
Sep 2020 · 167
Sting
Isabella Sep 2020
The slicing sting of the blade as it strokes my skin
Is not pain
But relief
From the raw bleeding within.

The draining drips of crimson as it drowns the floor
Is not unsettling
But reassuring
Compared the truest stomachache of all.
Living
Sep 2020 · 144
Again and Again and Again
Isabella Sep 2020
I reveal to you
The scars I've always tried to conceal from you
I make a deal with you
That if you break me I promise I won't heal from you

I barely showed you the cracks in my heart and you said you'd help me when I fall apart but words are just that they are empty and cold and you left me behind which is just what I told you would happen. Again and again and again.

You found the parts of me that were still tender, caressing my wounds to make me feel better, then dug a knife into my exposed skin proving to me you're exactly like him. Again and again and again.

With the steel blade you carved out my heart, I'm left again hollow like I was at the start, but it's my fault for letting you in, yes it's my bad you showed me you'd win. Again and again and again.

Maybe one day when my body grows numb I'll meet someone who sees everything I've become and loves every part of me, broken pieces and all, someone who'll hold me when I seem to fall. Again and again and again.

I conceal from you
The scars I've always tried to reveal to you
I break a deal with you
That if you love me I promise I won't heal from you
Aug 2020 · 747
Poet's Lament
Isabella Aug 2020
'Tis a broken song to sing, a bleak melody to ponder
The aching loneliness doth bring, wounds not healing any longer
Tune flows out like streams of blood, lyrics sharp and somber
A poet's hurt such as a flood, waves crashing ever stronger

Teardrops of the mighty flood, have now trickled to a river
Feet treading through the layers of mud, in their failing feat they quiver
A siren weeping ripples here, mourning love thou refused to give her
That broken song caressing ears, a touch chilling as a shiver

Her throat burns yet she goes on, soft enough to make the earth quake
The very ground thou steps upon, rumbling with her tragic ache
How doth thou turn a blind eye, she's been torn by thou mistake
Her very soul doth cry, while thou can hardly even shake

A storm 'tis passed tonight, though thou shall not repent
Siren sings beneath blue moonlight, of the love she doth resent
A lullaby to make thou tremble, deep beneath the twisted torment
No longer shall she dissemble, all but you shatter at the poet's lament
dedicated to a dear friend of mine. heartbreak is never easy <3
Aug 2020 · 244
More
Isabella Aug 2020
I could chew the skin off of my thumb,
Or force my teeth to bite my tongue.
I could eat my lip til it goes numb,
Or press the air out of my lungs.

I could scratch my arms until they bleed,
Or dig my nails into my cheeks.
I could swallow copper I don’t need,
Or hold my throat til I can’t speak.

I could break my bones to set me free,
Or feel my crimson tingly seethe.
I could rub my eyes til I can’t see,
Or exhale deep so I can’t breathe.

The violence fills my mouth with cherries,
Ever sweeter than before.
A taste unlike all the other berries,
And I salivate for more.
You may have to read this a few times to understand what I mean, however I encourage you to interpret it your own way.
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