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Isabella Jun 13
I roll my lashes between my fingers
instead of blowing them away
I have no wishes left to whisper
on eyelashes, or dandelions
or angel numbers on the clock
I cant avoid them reminding me of you
When we look at the same sunset
When we see the time at the same moment
Will we think of each other?
will you wish for me?
I have no wishes left to give
What I wanted most, I wished away
instead of the lashes between my fingers
Isabella Jun 13
Every lull of life,
I find myself alone
in the quiet moments
When rain patters on the window,
streaming down the patterned glass
pounding on the roof above
Im now so very small
The in-betweens of nothingness
there’s no one else but me
I learn to be my own best friend,
lonely in good company
Myself was once my enemy
but how hurtful that became
I used to loath the quiet moments,
when my thoughts had space to speak
Now I learn to listen
I might have something good to say to me
Isabella Jun 13
Memories I’ve rejected
Leave holes nothing else could fill
Laughter echoing
While I shut myself away
Preferring to be alone
Little moments slip from my grasp
I used to cling as they fell from my hands
Now I let the water run
I watch the train go by
without chasing
I still feel left behind, I think I always will
But I don’t want to climb a mountain
or jump in a raging river
I don’t want to go numb for the thrill
Yet there’s still a strange numbness
from being alone.
Sinking in the silence,
I can let it consume me
Silence is more comforting lately
than the memories I’ve rejected
Isabella Apr 28
I know you hate to see me cry
But I do anyways
I can't seem to stop the tears from rolling out
Will you hold me?
Isabella Apr 26
Blue when my life was one color
when the lines were blurred
Blue was the comfort, the sky, and the ocean
Vast and inviting, inspiring
Blue was every possibility on clear days with no clouds
Blue when my dreams were one color

Purple was more unique than I'd ever be
but it swallowed me up for years
Purple for the friends I made and the friends I lost
for the memories and the summer nights
Purple was every season, I thought it would be my forever
Shaped my growing up
Through every twist and turn
Purple was as safe as it was depressing
A childhood wound turned into a toxicity I couldn't abandon

Yellow was who I always hated but always tried to become
And when it came up like the sun
It was golden hour and then it was gone
Yellow was smiles and laughs and a spark back into my life
After the darkness, after the heartache, after the war
Yellow introduced me into a world with a purpose
I had never seen it like this
Crashing just as it began

Green when I can finally see
when I breathe for the very first time
when the walls of ignorance crumble around me
Green when I can escape in my mind
to a forest with evergreens and moss crawling up the trunks
Green when I learned to look myself in my own eyes
when I didn't see a monster anymore
when I could watch the tears settle like fog in a field
Green was the hug I was waiting for
the relief that I can trust my two hands to carry my own life
Isabella Apr 26
.
everyone in my life is temporary
when will i learn to live for myself?
Isabella Apr 26
I wanted to be saved
                   I craved
              a connection,
            a love I could trust
Blinded by obsession
      twisted to tension
Was love meant to be lust?

Begging you to stay
             was a chase
             with trip wires
How a match that's burnt out
             can't start fires
fingerprints singed from the tries
does numbness inspire?

Smoke was a haze
that surrounds you
Consumed in the fumes
        It allures you
If you don't look down
                   the ground, betrays you
                      Love was a maze

A rainy day
left me ashes
the wind icy, circling past us
        I was wrong all my life
             On love and on loss
              I never knew loss until I met you
        Losing means nothing without love
    And our love meant nothing without loss

Love is a street lined with oak trees
Branches like hands holding leaves
               Cradling flowers in spring
Love is a street,
       it goes two ways
              Stretches horizon to horizon
                       Travels East to West
                         and sunrise to sunset
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