She had that passive presence Like the ticking sound of a clock Sometimes you might notice her Most often at times you do not Like a wallflower, she is You notice her on the wall But then you get use to her And don't care if she's there at all As if she is just forgettable You can't help it if you forget She is use to it, it's understandable It still hurts her nonetheless
It's taking everything I’ve ever had, not to crawl into the crevice between your arm and hip. I want seep inside of you and live with you, like the parasite I am.
I’ve bribed to God to make you love me, And bargained away my future sins.
I want to forget the golden retriever You took on walks longer than our love-making, And the way your body writhed beneath my touch Like a body bracing for a car-crash, And how with every kiss I could feel your rigor mortis set in.
I want to read you poems about Kurt Cobain, While we do ******* at midnight in Golden Gate Park. And watch you have a visceral reaction To the memories Of the times you tasted someone else’s skin.
Instead I’ll dye my hair black, Cancel all my credit cards, And run away to Chicago to Cheapen myself and reek of Popov In a dive bar next to the railroad, That no one’s heard of so you can tell strangers in the subway and at the New Year’s party, (at which you’ll meet your wife) how much I’ve always meant to you and how You will always wonder what happened to me (Even though you won't.)
I wave but you can’t see me I speak but you can’t hear me We touch but you can’t feel me I’m getting panicked now Why can’t anyone recognize me? I scream but you won’t turn to me You search your memory for any remnant of our history but you seem to come up… empty
I finally realize I’m missing from your memories You don’t remember all the times I’ve wiped your tears You don’t remember all the times we’ve laughed together You don’t remember all our peaceful years
I know this is just a waste of time but it’s hard to watch your future sprinting past our crime We were always easily divisible but I didn’t realize I was so invisible
I don't know why you're so painful to me. Breaking me down, every time you come and go. I'm regret to you, a sore spot on your heart. You only see your past when you look at me, A reflection of the destruction your leaving caused. Ultimate ruin in your wake. I can never shake these shoes, Worn Maryjanes of a girl who doesn't know how to stop loving you. I reach for you and you pull away, So I stopped wishing, Learning that it never has been about me. You called today, 6 years of absence leaving me hollow. I don't want it, This time I just can't. I don't know why you're always so painful to me, Or how I can be so forgettable.
“What do you want people to remember you for?” That question has been haunting me for a while now. What *do I want to be remembered for? I've never really been outgoing, Or funny, Or confident. I've always stayed by myself, Alone with my thoughts. I don’t go to parties, or do wild things. I don’t have a lot of friends, And it’s hard for me to get close to someone. I’m not popular. Not known. You ask someone in the hall if they’re seen me And they don’t know who you’re talking about, Because there’s nothing noticeable about me, Nothing I’m really good at, I’m easily forgettable. Just another face in the crowd. I guess part of me doesn't care, Because that part of me knows that No one else does. But the other part Wants to know, What will I be remembered for? And will I even be remembered at all?
Creative writing project for school. It had me up all night trying to write something that meant something, not just something that I thought would get me a decent grade. Two of two.