It is fascinatingly probable
God balanced, protected, recompensed
how I feel misplaced in the confinements
to the vessel, in a biological
femininity even more being said,
by shaping that body as a speech
in my structure and palette embedded
of nature’s casts, messages‘
endearing faced:

I am put in a sunflower’s shift
when bearing a heat with caramel toning,
in the skin,
swift golden towel ‘round the
form naked,
shoulders
and all other petite
through that standing strong
like a sword’s leather hilt,
and eyes with hair of tenderly
made browns with lights and darks,
as freckles shining scattered,
with their origin from Gold arriving,
or at last the very nutrient
dark centre by seeds posed.

When sodden, it is a mangrove then,
the caramel whole now slick
yet strongly dense as its roots,
like when I get myself firmly stuck
on feet like double arrow
spread limbs
and like mahogany shade
stand reading images.

Or there’s at last and at wind
the cherry blossom:
my thoughts and sensing presence
are so beloving that they
emanate pink in passing,
just as it’s flowers with no fruit,
my top, a crown,
swaying branches,
irregular protruding.
I bloom so dearly with my shading,
I could almost kiss like leaves,
like they do with me.

Wish you could see me, this,
such loving dear sight to be.
Like slick, promising, calm own river.
Alas, an eerie beige coat that flutters
with child dreams

Seized by the fear,
The justice transforms paradoxically
into perspectives.
Perspective of people
who only float
and do not question
their fragile concept of existence.
Lying to themselves,
they decided from their comfort zone
to speak of “justice” to the world; yet
as long as you don’t understand truly
the truth about your chains, you’ll keep on
defending the empire.
You will never truly understand the pain of others,
you will never be able to truly feel the justice
because you fear dying,
and also paradoxically,
although I am giving you the answer,
you also fear loving.
And without love there will never be true justice.

————

Apoderados por el miedo,
la justicia se transforma paradójicamente
en perspectivas.
Perspectiva de personas
que solo flotan y no cuestionan
su frágil concepto de existencia.
Engañándose
decidieron desde su comodidad
hablar sobre “justicia” para el mundo; pero
mientras que no comprendan verdaderamente
la verdad sobre sus cadenas, seguirán protegiendo al imperio.
Jamás entenderán el dolor de otros,
jamás podrán verdaderamente sentir la justicia
porque temen morir,
y paradójicamente también,
aún que les den la respuesta,
también temen amar,
y sin amor jamás habrá verdadera justicia.

[Pour Marie C.]
Tu te souviens de cette fois
Quand tu m’as demandé
Si j’ai jamais pleuré de la douleur ?
Car je te réponds
profondément et tendrement
que oui.
« Oui » vrai de nouveau chaque jour.
De supporter un nom
Un sexe
Un âge
Des vêtements qui me donnent
des descriptions
et m’emprisonnent en plus.
De la longueur de ma maison.
Et ça fait mal comme un pur viol.
Voir, sur les genoux parmi des bêtes,
devant soi-même tout ce qui t’admire,
ce qui te laisse respirer,
t’aime,
te donne l’identité
et vit en tes soupirs des yeux
et des larmes,
juste à la distance de la main
pour ne pas être jamais rendu à toi
en publique
et te tuant ainsi dans un pays étrange.
« Oui » de souffrance inédite.

Quand j’t’entends,
te vois en mon esprit,
Je nous demande
Combien de nuits sourdes,
trop silencieuses,
du goût du sang et du métal
as-tu passé séparé, tout en eau,
Sans air, les mélodies
comme la seule compagnie ?
Combien des choses y a-t-il
auxquels tu ne donne jamais la voix ?
Combien de masques as-tu créés
et détruits ?
Combien des portes as-tu claqué
devant les personnes
qui s’appelaient ta famille ?
Combien d’êtres as-tu blessé
pour te protéger ?
La masque de pierre n’endurcira
plus un jour
Et la pierre se cassera en porcelaine sanglante.

Je désire te voir te romper,
Toucher une corde sensible de ton piano,
Pour que tu meurtes et naisses de nouveau.
Pour que tu puisses authentiquement respirer.
Pour que tu te laisse pleurer sans cesse.
Pour que je puisse te tenir dans mes bras.
Comme si tu étais la chose plus valeureuse
et fragile du monde,
Et pour qu’on puisse se regarder
dans nos yeux pour des heures,
Sans mots ni pensées se retrouver,
Devenir fragiles tous les deux.

« T’es trop lumineux », tu dis,
« pour moi »,
Eh ben, t’es pas trop sombre
pour moi.

Tu t’emportes des écouteurs,
Ta barrière et ta rédemption.
Seule distraction et chemin au ciel.

On se rend tous les deux aux étoiles,
On peut s’y rencontrer un jour
et entrelacer les mains.
Peut-être même s’appeler
de derrière de nos miroirs étroits
Avec des nouveaux sons pour nos noms.

Je t’embrasse, observe
Et écris de là,
Marie.

Matko,
czemuż liść rajskiej jabłoni,
poczuł dotyk Twej dłoni?

... A wybór ten się ziścił?
To śnięcie, podszept liści...

Czy twa cierń była nader ostra?
Ma najdroższa,
Mater Nostra

... Dnia twego dziękczynienie,
nie miało oka tchnienie...

gdy znosiłaś krwiożercze znoje,
by ochronić
dziatki Twoje.

... Za Szeolem, bez pudru
lecz z chlubą łez nagości...

Twe serce 
zmrożone w kajdany,
nie okazało miłości.

... Tak, tych palców spostrzeżeń
u męża nań spuszczonych...

Iżby stworzyć koncepcję 
plemienia,cykl
niezwykle strudzony.

...Zbluzganiem, uwielbianiem,
Jest Ewą i Allahem...

Aby poczciwość dać rodzinie,
ciągle żyję
pod tym strachem.
Osobą jam nie znana,
Raczej funkcją, zadaniem
Jestem matką,
a moja profesja,
jest rodziny kochaniem.

„Od nigdy a po zawsze,
Byt, nie przeminę z wiatrem.

W honorze. W trawie. W mężczyźnie. Ostanę.”

Like breeze caressing in its
trap a feather grey in air’s
flight so have I
been caught
in un fulmine dei pensieri di
appena circa una dozzina
di minuti
fa.

And I have to most urgently
capture Me in this
flight and non-tormenting
air bubbles coming
out of my watery
&
treelike sight
by
breathing this moment
of realisation
gently
yet hard/strongly
while I’m at it,
at Shepherd’s meaning
of Treasure in
Coelho’s work cast
especially on me
& my antics of Now.

And that letter
here to be
shall be
lost
for a moment under
that pencil:
scribbling on sun-scorched
plane passing,
logophilia
and greater future to come
and
be
done.

For when you
finally
drink from a little bit
of Life itself in
you without any stimuli
foreign to you,
you’ll see that
It
is it that’s the most feverish
in what’s the best,
the sufficing binge.

I’m giving into
your hands this
redemption of mine till
I
AM,
for currently it
is the biggest truth
given to me
by
Allah.

I sense these Signs
as they find each other on Me,
like they make me insert
all the answers,
intentions,
with a hard semblance
and the durability
of the terrace wood
against my worked up skin,
in my lungs.

To where will my Own Legend
lead me?
There are certain
premonition
and in-depth
in this moment,
in the castle of the epilogue,
of the book,
in crystal blue,

in how all the world now
persists in my head
desiring to leave
a trace somewhere here
so as not to let go
of my hand
from its.

And the Sun
that parts almost at
dusk through
a hollow in the clouds
stormy-like
behind my back
seems to be winking, glance throwing,
of a foreboding,
of its presence,
waning,
on what will be able
to come.
And it’s gone.

And how Pueyo would say it:
“May no one deprive
me of living.”
I say it to all the pop culture,
and these false suns
“I’m not yours to take”
as much as I can.

And should we not listen
to understand
instead of
to reply?
Aren’t constant thoughts
that replying,
and pure being that
taking in (all the striving),
like when facing forest
in a
cold
prickling
air
to encounter?

Hold me like that,
that as I am,
in your hands
for a while.

Sikorki tchnienie w locie musnęło ziemię,
Kresy, wrzosy, suche liście też na wietrze.
Na sykomorze dalekiej Arabii ustała,
skulonego u jej korzeni tego, co sonety
o Aleppo układał, wysłuchała,
i przeto myślami po raz pierwszy
swe osmolone smogiem skrzydełka przetarła:

"Ku czemu się wykluwałam? Ku czemu latałam?
Swym trelem, uwagi skinieniem, czego mam być wyrażeniem?"
Nagle poczuła w każdej małej kości:
"Odpowiedź jest jedna: Miłości"

Że ma ona twarz wszystkiego, niczego, spojrzenia naszego:
Dwóch samców złączonych łabędzia czarnego,
Smutku dla szczęścia innego znoszonego,
Sekretu czule z łzami deszczowi wyznanego
I drzewa z grzyba korzeniem splątanego.

Że ku temu radość innym daje, że tego jest formą,
Wszystkich uczuć, chwil i wrażeń zmową.

"Dziękuję", na tą myśl światu odpowiedziała,
z wdzięczności dla poety z dołu
korę drzewa pocałowała,
i z nową tęsknotą, ku niebu Syrii,
odleciała.

I want my every lingering or zapping touch,
deep stare,
conscious step,
labored breath
and my given-over body
to be an engaging,
peppered kiss
to both My Lover
and the Universe’s matters
proclaiming
“I see you.
I love you.
I give myself to you solely
and you solely to me.
We’re each other now
and never to give one’s self away
to another being.
I’m done and made,
ready with you.”
An oath.
Vision of a gift and moment to come
for which My Heart will last and last
till it shall be fulfilled.
A bow of teary,
from loving,
respect

At a governmental or another fancy door
Asked again who I am to call,
For my name, affiliation through and fro,
Who am I worth enough to stand at all.

As I bask in my glance and walking tall,
Asked for ID I tear it all,
With the shoes thrown off
And Mind elegantly deformed
I ravish how they eyes are stupefied, so lost

Well, seeming Madam/Sir,
No letter or phone shall make me up,
No telling shall ever be enough
to push all the liquids of senses, acts
from before my eyes
to your lips’ or ears’ sight,
Yet to have it done already
I’ll try to muster an answer
of that measly form,
So on a silent yet like jazz smooth
rampage I go:

I, am,
Immortal Poetry,
Of greater feverishness than a human kiss,
That even I can’t deprive myself of.
I have no restricted name,
Age or body & its ***.

I am eternal pilgrim on that soil,
With my place in My Lover high above,
With no human maternal language.
A Dreamweaver,
Novel,
Sensation in a melody,
Howling Nighty-Starry Wind.

All the gazes & chases I made in my books,
All longings & katharsi of mine.
Un Alma Perdida de ojos y pelo dorados
Que extraña su justo hogar entre versos,
Hierba y estrellas.

A prologue and an epilogue,
C-major on a private, broken guitar string,
Haze, blur in your mind.
The stars I barely see,
My ****** of skin,
And stern eyes of love-arousing passing-by
among the beasts of your kin.

I. Am. I.
For now so much to add,
Now, seeming Sir/Madam,
I’ll let myself pass by

Coming up at my face in
charcoal, embossed,
in canvas, then hung
That’s cast anew,
that made it through-
After and at so many endings,
Blizzard, joy, death and sun
mending,
A Shepherd’s life through trials
as me, given in-
Is that finally it? Tell me, Heart, did I
Come to know the key? Yes!
Redemption arrived therein!
After that long time;
Look, I no longer
Have what you think it takes,
Saw more light in night than day,
But, indeed, honey in that
canvas’ eyes swirls back
Again,
Every shade a muster of reflection,
Fingers are grazing in sensitivity
No surgeon can try to beat,
Black lips glimmer in heat-
Shush, the point of
Such sight?
Just: that I can look in that
canvas mirror
Back,
That all realisation greets my mind.
That a narcissist is the
highest claim of support and love.
That after all
The path
All mirage left,
And broken
I know

who
i
am.

(... Yes, the battle has seen its end...
Sword’s placed in peace in proud,
Murky earth.)

I am on my own
a Lighthouse Keeper
amidst the Night,
each fly,
in some presence:
coalition of a duty protruding
by thoughts,
delusions,
stories and
what’s exquisite
in sensations that
need guarding,
and then enjoined
with that never ending standing,
watching,
time lapping,
and all that taking place
in the ink hues with
scarlet pulsing as if hurt,
in baby blue
and lilac
by a sacrality
to me solely
constantly
held out
on
a string
to never let go
of
to
another.

On est là,
Sur un boulevard de
Lit en air
Et déplié,
L’œil vers le début de
Toit
Comme l’enfant de question.

On s’est dépensé trop vers
Au-delà,
Vers aux opinions de l’étrange,
Non propres miennes
Et on n’était plus.
Pleurer. Glorifié/-er.
Déteste parler et passer soi-même.

I know at last why I and Poetry
Got lost in a forest while
Looking for each other:
I pushed it out of
The tree line
And left it to withering
Formal ways of public.
Maimed in the stage lights it
Got to smoke cigarettes
And now something
Has to be done
To retrieve it.
Mais on a déjà le clé.
J’ai sa trace
Di indietro degli arboli.

Bon sang,
L’extravertisme me tue (comme
L’alcool en excès),
L’introvertisme me guérit,
Seule là on se reveille
Aux blessures en excès
Par le jonque d’exister en vain
(Parmi les poubelles intellectuelles).

On est pas pour le public
À son plaisir rationnel.

Et Jeanne « du Russe » a l’odeur
De la cuisine
Et du refuge.

‘Like a graceful
yet mighty arrow
I saw you
shooting through the town
with the name “Adventure”
upon you.
I saw your coat fluttering
with wind’s madness,
irises of deeper colour
than the darkest tree’s bark,
nose drugged with the scent
of Poetry transcripted
and bare feet carrying with themselves
the heraldry of freedom
and a better world.
With books from faraway lands,
of wonders,
as a shield on your chest
from all that’s choked,
ideas unattainable to the Black Pit, thoughts
and dreams piercing
the surroundings’ façade
and the Village whirling into blur
from the speed of yours,
every time you’re the most beautiful feature
among the trash bins we live in.
Couldn’t take my eyes
and thoughts of you…’
Pero nadie se da cuenta,
nadie lo escupe por los dientes.
Ahogados por el tiempo
no me ven/sienten fluyendo entre ellos,
no ven la Esperanza
por debajo de sus parpados.
Como magia o viento vuelo,
espero hasta que alguien
me capture
con esta atención
en un jarrón
y me susurre
un amor así
como arriba.

I think I gave myself away, with a musician and, the name and the data
this world gave me and by which it holds me by.
Thought the clock struck midnight and the spell broke,
thought we’d return to the measly grey resuming.
As one deems things too good as untrue, the bitter more reliable despite its fake,
I scared myself that name would take my truer life away.

Yet then it came to me through
that whilst among these
trash bins we live in
things may work this way,

in a greater dominion and
our hopes, talks,
we know it is our will
and creation of our wonderland that
makes the reality and true identity.

There, I could have spilled
“Juliet” once,
but it rests as mere
fog under “Dante” I
gave space to
to be found and born.

There,
No harm done.

Can you deduce
basing on one’s
trepidations
and heartbeat
what notes and melody
complete
or
fulfil them,
precariously and intimately
decomposing and
striking?

And what sophistication,
what greatly mindless
analysis is it
when you acquaint a process/
surrounding/
issue/
object/
a person
throughoutly,
approaching in full
immersion like
the day
you go through
and not like going out
into your garden
from your house
for a few mere moments
that just make this escapade
a trespassing event,
without even looking at it!

What patient devotion
must that be to pay
for the prize of entering
its mechanism
and presence emanating,
even more
when that
“it”
is what your mirror
shows both to You
and your body,
or the sonorous car engine
driving you insane,
or...

or finally reading
the architecture of letters
of a Book
for the first time
in your life
with
comprehending actually
the story of the text
or the painting
that architecture gifts you!

And
still
what a horrifying
acknowledgement
would it be
if that
“it”
would be Life,
Time
or the World,
anything like
that in itself,
and thus there
would be no wonder left,
no excitation,
like living an immortal
existence,
a God that has gone
to every corner of perception
and galaxies,
has witnessed every
mechanism
that then starts only
to repeat itself
nevertheless
and constantly!

And
diverging from that,
maybe the reason
many minds believe
that Magic and Literature
as an apparent coming true
in our passing
are nonexistent
is that we restrict it
solely to blank pages
we fill with imagination,
to Child’s
“fads”
that
are actually
“freedoms”,
whereas
they are more
than possible
if we bear it in
ourselves,
as it was put in
the Kybalion:
As it is on the inside,
it is thus on the outside.

Like when I was standing
just a while ago
saying goodbye to the sea
in shouting silent beauty
of transparent words:
the beach to my far left
deserted
by tourists
and chosen by shadows
with Sun
and looming trees
all of a sudden
was more than verily
a shore
from “Robinson Crusoe”
or “The Treasure Island”,

just called to run and
peruse no matter
if something was waiting
or not

Or how now
whenever I write
instead of speaking
to a person
I do not differ them
by their ID
or biological data
and make revelation
of myself in the same
Godly, well perturbating
way like Pythia
and don’t care
if its a wise child,
a seemingly important
member of some affiliation,
or stiff standard model
in human skin.

It is simply all
multiple
constant Metamorphoses.

Arm trembling no longer holding up.
Spasms.
Pain.
Feverish commotion moved unsatedly. Longing already before their departure from the knowledge of it to come.
Anguish in sorrow of sobbing
and self-quenching.
Two hearts’ Life has been made, disgustingly ripped away
and then at all costs retrieved
through the cold,
shame
and flame of ashes.
A chain memory
gaining its voice,
shaping into separate mind
and place.
I’m in torenness.
‘ve been through a lifetime and act,
never allowed to come back again
to the same (whirl of trepidations
and convulsions).
I tamed yet another fox
and have to deal with the tears
of the ends.
Tear away someone else’s presence
from me
and so shall be no difference.
I’m in hurt as in loss.
Losing a precious to me
foreign presence
will feel even greater
or have I just lost one,
with a piece of myself
alongside?
The binding isn’t locking away
one’s memory for a story,
it is giving them a person
called “Story”
and stealing their porcelain pieces
with its charm and frazzleness.
That’s why I account Literature
into sacralities
of my astrality
and perfect chosen arts of being.
Their non-verbal is
my most cherished music there is
as in Phronemophilia
or feelings,
a form of incalescence and confession made between a pair of words,
plucking the perfect chord
of comprehension
and Heart’s painfully sweet thrillance
and, between the verses,
speaking the ideal maternal language
not yet known to Mind.
As a Book contains all millions
of little aspects of moments,
words,
flesh,
tiny traits,
demeanour,
beginnings
and endings
and middles,
as it throws a wave after wave
of conundrums
of alchemy of emotions,
of all the unnameable things
of acting/being/breathing/affecting…
it is a Person.
One of many supposedly
not ones in Me.
​Sorry, plushie dearies,
it will be the faux-Victorian tale
of volumes and affection
tucked close to my chest
tonight,
you rest next,
aside me.
Спокоиней ночи,
всё кто живет во мне и не.

Call out to me as I’m a boy.
Not wrong.
Call out to me as I’m a girl.
Not wrong.
Yet neither right you are.

On the two sides
of the sanitarily jewelled glass
are found:
One; a blackened silhouette
of pencilled bushy hair
of feminine,
Tinkling, tip-toeing, scrolling by,
with no screeching eyes,
Two; golden-melt spectres of Spanish Sun
in slender sight,
of sandy, pungent, quickly cut hair
on the tanned skin,
On the masculine, beheld.
Both looking, both touching,
both silent, feverish, of magic.

My starry window of stories,
my wreathed mirror my witnesses:
My body’s ever felt lacking,
hosting yet trapping,
To beat hushed the glass with shout
“It doesn’t feel right!”
To find more of my heart
in the captivity of male’s gaze
Than ******* on my chest.
To find that presence,
Of steadier, lower, of beige fracture,
being closer
To my senses than those lips
Or height of a woman.


Stand up, graze, kiss,
Long and linger
In all those persona
of no corporeal,
In all those heats I saw myself in
When in literature’s boys eyes.

I behold all names I wish,
Male or female,
Or of no *** it shall be.
I love for love. Love in love.
Stand back. Admire two egos
of mirror’s glass.
My body can’t hold me whole.
One day I’ll transcend it. All.

As a man I gave birth once,
In my dreams.
I exceed all things my body deems.
No matter in whose eyes I’m found
In my mind,
I greet both the feminine touch,
The masculine sight.

God,
I ask of you beggingly,
That if there ever shall
Come a moment of this
Life of mine’s when
It abruptly ends before
Its goal,
Its soar,
Before it’s vocation is greeted
Properly in passion at
The finish line...

Please, let Me
Somehow linger,
Endure,
As inspiration,
Wind of embracing
Freedom, for all those
Who would still need Me.
May I accomplish my
Mission this way,
In the words/feelings/acts
They don’t apprehend,
For I am those.
Let me guard them,
Behold and
Last in their eyes
Or words
Love
The legacy I'll leave.
Let me come as seeds
Of greatness, planted
On this Earth (in)directly.

One of my last future momenta

Must “speaking”
be only referred to
in the terms
of the humane apparatus of speech?
Isn’t it not only verbal?
Is it also feelings,
murmur of understatements fleeting,
trees and leaves
in a sage’s patience swaying,
child’s wailing,
Heart’s blazing?
Isn’t silence speaking too?

Penciliving and other meltdowns
on the beauty of the sad boys,
those who keep in their pupils’ intensity,
a terrorist’s extremity,
on the one who can’t choose between two
paths and in the middle prey becomes,
on the mouth full of salt
and the sea’s cries that for its remembrance exalt,
on a mouth that stings from no return,
from the inside
and inwards,
this is the only way of writing I know.
Gather your broken heart,
and confess yourself:
make love to your battles,
submerge into poetry
like an impostor holding their breath
in an amphibian world,
vow to yourself (and thereby, the most worthy
of all the loves) the eternal freedom.

Look at me.
I have my side soaked with these sparks
melting away so many veiled winters.
There’s ivy in the songs I listen to
at nights
and that thin line that separates (interpreting us)
the want for each other
from the want to ravish one another.

I don’t know.
Nostalgize me.
Let’s go back to blinks and look at us
right before you end us...
“Able or unable?”
Madrid was burning yet there was a kiss
in which we didn’t care about
dying in flames.

Take out the camera and capture this:
The Moon cries as well
knowing it will never
be able to reach the wolf.

In freedom,
madness of beauty,
I love all and nothing,
every member of the space surrounding, so much
and extendedly
that I come to tears,
my physical demonstration of overconscience.
I am truly and on all the planes
a Lover.

[...]
He walked to my left
so as not to stop brushing against my heart.
He settled down legs tired from encircling my head
right next to mine
and whispered to me things that I’ll take with me to my grave.

He left ink in my mouth,
undressed his back
and beckoned me to write our story.

Disgusting.

I saw him smile and I understood that my whole life
had been a mockery,
as if love could be drawn
and weren’t a boy missing the bus.

He saved me from the jaws of a dragon,
put a coin in the fortune’s hands,
drew a song from his underwear
and we danced together in French,
he stripped to stop the taxis,
forgot about his house,
and when he found a way to warm up my feet
my head fell asleep on his thighs
and the world
was a bedroom drenched in stars.

**** it,
it was prettier than a dolphin breaking through the waves,
hands wrapping up magic, preceded by his tongue,
a scarf in the clutches of the wind,
it was a ******* kiss in the middle of the war.

Then he went away
because this is what the people we will love forever do,
and when he did it, I understood everything:
“Love is a cage opened towards the sky”
Ever since that moment I haven’t opened a door
that tends to close itself.

You spunky *******...
I fell in love with you,
don’t you ever dare to forget that

I walked in rain today.
As a trooper I came,
on my own,
as the rain’s body I,
in the forest on the road back,
left.
Rain put Home on my lips,
head
and lungs
through chills of tundra in them,
blurring of the vessel
by streams of constancy
on my visage.
So close to the most righteous place of me,
of appurtenance,
I almost came into ragged breaths,
oxygen not sufficing for Heart.
Weren’t it for the body
I had to take care of
and still don’t know
how to leave unattended,
I would have begged all that water of crystal,
turning all the world into shiny blurs,
to take me with itself for a joyride
and don’t return to this land soon.