I'm seasoned with determination, poisoned by uncertainty. Paired with a glass of dreams, laced with harsh reality. Served on the platter of kindness, dropped to the floor of merciless. ******* sweet flavors, choke on your gluttony.
I have I have wanted to die for such a long time That the wanting became a part of me When i was young despair fell into my lungs like a liquid And i couldn’t get rid of it Tiny lungs filled quickly And they couldn’t handle when my face reddened and my pulse quickened So much so, that as i wheezed out of consciousness I hoped and prayed to never wake up
But i always did, And as i grew So did my lungs
Instead of being full they were only a third of the way there I wasn’t so suffocated but i could still feel it stir with every breath
To me the world had always been a sad place to be in Everyone was always searching For something bigger Searching for something better For more Because having what you have was never enough And loving what you love was never enough Even being who you are was never enough
The sadness was engraved in me too The sadness was a wax coating over my body And it made it hard to move
Hard to feel All my senses were muffled And it left me so unsure of everything About my feelings and how others felt about me
So that even friends were not really friends Because relationships make people delve into each other
And how could anyone delve into me if the wax That had once been a thin coating was now protruding limbs?
I was alone In a planet full of people In a life full of companions And in a family that was kind but neglectful
One day, gruesome thoughts began I wanted someone
To feel the despair and the sadness Much like i did To make them wheeze, to make them numb
I wanted to tear them apart
Floating in in the pool that became an ocean Of my very own psychosis Twisted me into the very thing that was killing me So i could prey on another And start the cycle once again
There's a parasite in me, That's eating away at my mind My sanity And my soul
I hope to end this with me before it's too late
the madness will engulf you if you let it. fight. because your life depends on it.
The dirt on my fingertips tells me I’ve been living my share of life. Barefoot weather under forests boussom and twilight’s singing. Passer by on agile chronicles of all perfectly ordinary everythings slips off at the hint of fraction, contradiction, restriction. Short and Primal-Stooped can nothing but ordinary days be spent wandering: lessened by the shell of much disgrace. Found no where but the ground we tread, and the blood we’ve bled. Calling out to stones or Screaming at the air, To find our names in the pidth of every nothing we have yet to see. Often the clue of exactly why we paint on the face of every needless, ditty, grotty, blathered, ******, accursed, body ****** like a worm into the cold ground to be eaten by time as a morsel. Oh what a blessed blessing be it to be Mortal!