In a world just on the otherside

Are shadows in the light

Whispering screams into the upside down sky

Where fire is cold and water flies

A dream where life ends but you can never die

To go so far
And turn around

To take a step forward
And take two steps back

Ambition lost

Courage faltering

And you...

You just keep going

Leaving me reaching and falling short

There is sorrow deep inside of me
So deep inside
I can feel it but can not draw it out

I ache to shed a tear
But the ache is not enough
My eyes refuse to shed my hidden sorrow

There is no relief
My very soul is lost in the depth of it
My sorrow is corrupting me

How much longer must I suffer
Wishing for help in my darkness
I'm not sure how much time I have left

Laying down on a clump of moss
Body shuddering with the feeling of loss
Two feet away the grave your visiting
You rub your chest against the heartbreak bubbling
Unsure how long you can endure
When all you want is some closure
In the end you get up and leave
You'll try again when your sure you wont heave

How long is a moment in a lifetime?

Will time heal what it helped destroy?

Can a heart beat count the scars on a beaten soul?

Where do the lost wander to when they can't see where their going?

To feel lost in time is like waking up to nothingness

Numbness and pain fighting for dominance

Being awake but wishing for sleep

Life and death merging into one

Finding yourself being ripped in half but a thread holding the pieces together

Not knowing how to continue and yet walking forwards anyways

Wanting to disappear and yet still existing

I lay down
I'm tired again

I stare blankly
I'm floating again

I tear up
I'm panicking again

I don't feel anymore
Am I in reality?

It's raining again
I want to go for a walk
With the sky crying
And the world strangely quiet

I'm alone again
The silence is killer
The rain echoes
I feel detached

No one around
My heart hammers anyway
Like a hummingbird in my chest
The feeling a mimic to the rain

It's raining again
And I want to go for a walk
All by myself
To keep the anxiety away

Respect is not something you give
Even when respect is all that I give

You don't believe in me that I can do it
But I want to show you that I can do it

And you tell me to get off my high horse
But you don't see that i'm going at it at full force

All I want is for you to see me
And all you want is to be better than me

Please see me for who I am
Please show me that you give a ****

The stars shine bright in the night sky

A cold wind blows gently through the air

Not a sound to be heard from the sleeping houses

A quiet walk of tranquility in the empty night

Is what is needed to keep me sane

Have you ever cried and couldn't stop?

Maybe your chest hurt and you couldn't understand why?

You try to talk, but no one to listen?

Crave not only a voice, but the warmth of someone who cared?

You are not alone, for I too, am with you.

The urge to forget
Is so strong

The feelings of pain
Is too raw

I need a distraction
Life is hard

No more smiles today
I've run out

Please help me out
I can't function

A black cat stands staring
Eye's wide and glaring
The tip of its tail twitching
Before it pounces upon its toy

A haunting meow in the dark
Paw's clawing to leave its mark
Prowling around the ground like a shark
Before it runs around in circles

Batting a ball on string in combat
Atop of a tall tree it sat
It's teeth baring as sharp as a bat's
Before promptly losing balance and falling to the floor

A black cat in her home to stay
Is ALWAYS in the mood to play

Willows sway in the wind
Grass grows on the river bend
A fish jumps just off the coast
Birds call out to predator's to boast
The suns rays warm the earth
As a mother cries out with the pain of birth
Flowers bloom to feed the bees
Boats struggle in the raging seas
Spring has come to bring a new year
Melting away the winter fear

Love lost
In more ways than one
And at what cost?
Heartbreak is inevitable

Death everlasting
Grief never forgotten
My heart strings casting
For a pain killer

Love lost
Always a fatal blow
And at what cost?
Warping your heart with scars

Trust broken
Paranoia becomes persistent
A sleeping beast awoken
When are you good enough

Love lost
Self hatred is prevalent
And at what cost?
Forever negative about life

Tears falling
Hating the reflection in the mirror
Sadness is calling
Dragging you farther into darkness

The darkness reigns within,
The shadows burst forth,
Unseen with the naked eye,
Loneliness is bound to the soul,
Wishes for the light,
But can never have contact,
Blindness is inevitable,
For the light is so bright,
And the darkness is where you live,
For eternity searching for more,
Than the shadows that keep you company.

An argument too far and it breaks a family.
Life becomes tense when a word or name is mentioned.
Walking on tip toes like a ballerina to avoid the wrong words.
A tearful picture is removed.
A lost thought becomes a regret.
A death of a loved one changes nothing.
The anger and hurt is scarred into the soul.
Nothing makes it better but everything makes it worse.
And me, I'm stuck in the middle.

I wish upon a star
That maybe one day i'll go far
away from here
A star so bright
I don't need a flashlight
to see the signs in front of me
A ball of gas so potent
A letter of resignation sent
to lift me away from depression
I wish upon a star
So I can find happiness

You were so mean to me
But I forgave you

You were trying to be better
I was proud of you

You worked on your own company
I believed in you

You got a car you were excited about
I loved the smile on you

You got a new suit and wore it with pride
I thought it looked good on you

You were reconnecting with our family
I was happy for you

But then you were taken from me
And now I miss you

Try and try and try as you might

You are slowly, slowly losing the fight

Knowing that two wrongs don't make a right

Another omen comes back to bite

Lost in darkness looking for light

No hope is seen, none in sight

I never know what to say
On the brink of forgetting
Losing what I know
Lost on a strange path
No longer able to fend for myself
Dreaming of nothing
Life losing its essence
Weakness overwhelmed
Mental stability slowly burning away
A light slowly dimming
No more happiness
Death looking more inviting
How long to live with nothing
Goals torn from my heart
Ripping a hole in my being
Tears of loss dripping from empty eyes
I can't do much before passing
This world is a bridge
Life and Death fight for their rights
To take over your fate

So much lost
Nothing gained
Not worth the cost
Health no longer maintained

Another hospital visit
Another problem
Body shaking with another fit
It's not you it's them

They lie again and again
It's not this, there is no reason
No trust in men
My limbs are freezing

No job
Failing in school
No more energy to cry or sob
Now I feel just like a tool

I don't have a reason anymore
No goal to reach for
Depression hits me harder than ever before
There is no longer another opportunity door

Life swallowed me whole
Ruining my car
Losing my job
Health plummets

To be able to live is a hassel
Every breath a struggle
How long do I have to suffer
With these health problems

How far do you want me to go?
One foot in front of the other,
Trekking through the snow.

You ask me for one thing
And tell me it’s wrong
I had even gotten down and offered you a ring
I wish for a reason some days
And you laugh in my face
Toxic relationship, that’s it, let’s part ways

How far do you want me to go?
Another shiver to keep warm,
Trekking through the snow.

Another life disappeared,
A new one here,
The only emotion I felt was fear.
Learning to live,
When another one had died,
A soul had a spirit that’s essence it had to give

How far do you want me to go?
A breath so icy,
Trekking through the snow.

Please tell me,
I’m so cold,
How far must I go
To receive what I’ve waited for
A peace to surrender to
A blissful end
To the pain filled beginning

How far…How far must I go?

I'm lost, the road in front split in two
So little time, with so much to do
The woods around me, is so dark
Each thorn I touch, leaves its mark
I grow tired, with each step I take
"Next time", I think, "my mind will break"
Every day, strangely, I survive
Each accident and problem, leaving me alive
How much longer, will it take?
How many sacrifices, will I have to make?

Life is swirling around me
A never ending errand run
Sometimes my eyes blur until I can't see
Awake and moving before the risen sun

Work and school take up time
Responsibilities soak up whats left
My debts soaking up my left over dime
Everything I own is something I regret

Over and over the same every day
Working long hours for a little pay
Long road ahead, not even half way
Been too long, with nothing to say

I couldn't help but notice,
your staring at me again.

With the look of disgust,
plastered on your face.

A blank look of hatred,
boiling in your eyes.

I just wanted to say thank you,
for showing me your true colors.

Frozen in place
Filled with despair
Looking back
You never did care
You got what you want
To me that wasn't fair
I worked hard
But never got a share
So why, I don't understand
Why you throw everything away
I wouldn't dare!

The windows are dark
Paint is chipping and faded
Life has left its mark
On this old abandoned house

There are whispers in the air
Ghosts of the past
From the people who lived here
In this old abandoned house

The roof is caving in
Allowing rain to sodden the interior
Creaky floors squealing in distress
In this old abandoned house

Shadows wander room to room
Some crying, others silent
Life for them wasn't fair
In this old abandoned house

Ignored within the neighborhood
Weeds overgrowing
Hiding the path
To this old abandoned house

Always in the dark
Shaded by trees of willow
Drooping down to hide
This old abandoned house

Death was coming oh so near
And yet there still was no touch of fear
The snow was tinged all black
As my head hit the steering wheel with a crack
Not much is remembered from that night
When I tried to touch the stars with all my might

You say you know me
But you don't know
All the thoughts that I don't show
I can be tricky when it comes to how I feel
I've been hurt to much to fully heal
Now you're trying to break my walls
As I ignore your encouraging calls

You say you know me
But you don't know
That I have been hit with a fatal blow
I have glued this mask upon my face
All because of hates warm embrace
You can't tell me that you can see
Everything that is going on around me

You say you know me
But you don't know
I'm too weak to reap what I sow
Life strangles me when I get on my feet
I raise a white flag unable to take the heat
One step forward, and two steps back
Nothing can make up for what I lack

You say you know me
But you don't know
I'm not good for you, so please just go...

You cry out with your internal pain. Tears leak down your pale dark face, as you stare up at the stars winking down at you. Life is becoming too much, and Time is shortening. You turn hearing a silent call to you. He's there staring at you with empty eyes, opening his cloaked arms as you stand up. With a small, sad smile you look into his face, as you enter Death's warm embrace.

The days grow shorter

The nights grow colder

The clouds grow dreary

As you sit amongst the graves

Sing to the sleeping
For amongst the dead you are weeping

A melody for the fallen
To their forgotten souls you are calling

A lullaby to the little one
Showing them one last rising sun

The days grow shorter

The nights grow colder

The clouds grow dreary

As you sit amongst the graves

Skin split open
Blood spilling out
Tears pouring down
As you fall
fall
fall

Darkness enveloping you
No light seen
Scream out pleas
As you fall
fall
fall

Depression is evil
Feeling emptiness eternal
Motivation all gone
As you fall
fall
fall

Falling forever down
Never safely grounded
To be hurting
As you fall
fall
fall

Once again the pain is back
In life's emotional crooked path
You follow it without a choice
Somehow stuck moving without a voice
A devil on one shoulder laughing in your face
As you trudge on wishing for a warm embrace
Something to keep your mind off your cruel fate
From the beginning not knowing what to look for
Till the end when your body is rotting at Earths core
As every new life is born
The demons begin to snicker with scorn
With new life comes more to mourn
Till death do we part
A new life will start
Over and over again
Filled with sorrows wrath
The eternal crooked path

Tick,
The hands are moving.

Tock,
Life is slowing.

Tick,
Seconds are passing.

Tock,
Nothing is changing.

Tick,
Moments are fading.

Tock,
The clock is ticking.

Tick,
Can't you hear its heart beating?

Tock,
Telling you life is leaving.

Tick Tock,
As we lower you six feet everlasting.

Listen to the clock,
Your life is ending.

Water seeps over me
Hot steam rising
Burning my flesh red
Trying to wash myself anew
A life free of pain
Of disgust
Of numbness
To feel alive
To a fresh life
To see a new me

Thoughts racing over life
Like a race car
Round and round in my head
Loudly and constant over things I regret
Things I wished for
Things I couldn't do
People who I hurt
People who hurt me
People who I needed in my life

Drying myself off still hurting
Muscles screaming at me
A headache building
Bruised and beaten like an abused
Abused from the past
Abused from the present
Abused from the thoughts of the future
Dreading life
Dreading reality
Dreading the fact that I was still hurting

Hello
I see you
With your long hair
And beautiful eyes

Hello
I try to get your attention
But you don't see me
Too far gone within your mind

Hello
You look away
Daydreaming about nothing
Sinking into a sweet bliss

Hello
You walk away slowly
Avoiding collisions carefully
Still deep in your thoughts

Hello
To the stranger I've never met
I'll wave to you
To your back

To tell you goodbye

Why now?
That things were looking up
You act out
And everyone gets hurt.

Why now?
The one that I thought loved me left
When I needed him the most
I wasn't good enough.

Why now?
I have my life in order
And I collapse
My health laughing in my face.

Why now?
I finally get a job
And I get fired
All because of things out of my control.

Why now?
Is it that people around me are hurting
Physically and emotionally
And there is nothing I can do to help.

Why not now?
Can life just give us a break
Let us live and maybe thrive
For once.

I have a demon in my room
It's like I live in a tomb
Every time I go to bed,
I see spirits of the dead
People say I'm lying
Let's see you live there without crying
Things move on their own
I once saw a child's bone
Things like to disappear
I look over to see it leer
It likes to see your fear
So don't let it get near
It'll give you a nightmare
And laugh as you dream of a fright fair
As you scream out
It will leave you with doubt
Smiling as you bleed out
If you go to bed
It will get into your head
And if your able to dream
It will make reality not as it seem
Don't close your eyes
Your life will become a bunch of lies
And if you break down and cry
...Well don't do that, or you'll die

I couldn't speak
Say something!
Tell them what's wrong!

I couldn't move
Pick your feet up!
Don't make them carry you!

My body was trembling
It hurts!
Stop hurting!

In and out I went
Where am I?
Who is touching me?

I was paralyzed
although there was nothing wrong

My mind had become a jail

Life was turning me into a prisoner

And my body had given up

No breathe
Can leave my body

No movement
My chest remains dormant

No life
Resides within me

No more
Pain I have to hide

No lies
Left residing upon my face

No mask
That once hid my tears

No heartbeat
No soul
No sorrow

Just bliss

Fly high,
Thats what I wished to do.
To be able to be untouched.
Untouched by all those that lie.

Fly high,
Run my hands through the clouds.
And see what the birds see.
Far up in the sky.

Fly high
So no one can find me.
And i'll be free from judgement.
I wont even say good bye.

Fly high,
Seems so close yet so far.
So many ways to do it.
I look myself in the eye.

Fly high,
Is easy enough.
I just need to let go.
Let go and die.

Skin heating up
Body burning
The pain is hard to endure
But you need the money
So you work
And keep your mouth shut

Your lips turned blue
The freezer too cold
Your shivers are violent
But you have to get it done
You have other stuff to do

People are upset
You frantically try to help
Help them, then back to work
But they make it difficult
So you call your manager
To ensure their needs are met

Your boss is angry
And takes it out on you
Why? You ask, but you don't know
You only do your job
So you can pay your bills
Because your living a life that just isn't free

Work all day
And work all night
Your tired
And you ache
But you have bills
So you'll do the work for the pay