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Jon Sawyer Sep 2022
Epilepsy. Bipolar.

The words that we speak.

Shear words into our hearts, unfolding before our eyes. Both engrain a fear of desperation that speaks louder than words.

It isn't so bad when you understand them. Almost one and the same, unpredictable in their paths.

One has it, the other doesn't. The path that we both share, both unrequited. Like love. Still, like love.

We share.

Uncontrollable actions bloom forth from seizure to mood episode, blossoming forth an understanding that surpasses understanding to those to don't experience it.

And all that is needed is love. And understanding.

We share in that we both yearn for a world that understands our actions, never to be trusted from within. The pain. The uncertainty.

Are the same to those from the outside. "Oh, she has seizures." "Oh, he's depressed." The words we hear. "You're unreliable." "You're too much for me to handle."

The shame.

We deal with that which we cannot speak, yet we understand beyond words that comprehend. The path laden before us untrodden yet familiar. We push forward because we must.

And we'll do so again.

Together we'll conquer both or be consumed, unyielding to the torrent from within. Because we must.

We must.

Push forward.

That is the only way.
My wife has epilepsy. I have bipolar. They are similar yet worlds apart, and we must push forward.
Court of owls
New ink, new shoes
Clocks on, I'm about to run it

Fast as my pain's Timeframe, bout to gun it

I hope you feel something better my man,

I'm feeling something
I'm feeling something better than planned

Tuck in the winter, dam i fall into action
springing past Morty and summer
While I'm watching TV slumber
shaking off chains of reactions

is it a new start
call it innov8ing
or maybe to our past

memories,  atoms alternating
like the world sputters aspirating

Spit split straight portals compensating
I'm drunk on Dark matter ever oscillating

the wind turned to me
just so it could turn on me

Judgment for eternity
Experience is the same

it howled with certainty
MY Experience denied 3x

so now you hear me?
from this judgment

I'm always ripping free
I don't generate art

so you can whip at me
I might penetrate stars

The universe is an artist
so Why does it  ****** us

Aint the universe ever even heard of us?

I'm the passenger and still woozy the sickness
feeling the pressure but I gotta be a witness

compassionate, no judgment
we all have our reasons

~Got a spot that I  keep w33d in
Hidden with the green stem bleedin

we may have different heavens
but we come from the same soil
When others decide our emotions
Got so many reasons for defense,
reach out and tipped it for the deflect
emotions reflect the deficit of me breathe
I just shake my head
so heavy, I need rest

Court of owls
Port of vowels
I am Born of miles

So I adult when you consult the Occult

knowings the lotion but still decomposin
all this is music I just need to recompose it
Saved another life Now the reaper owes it

I think I've got amnesia,
Waking up to
Sir you had a seizure
Eyes always look like
Man...I wouldn't wanna be ya

is another form of slavery we sign up for

We live and we learn
Boomerang on the mic
I go and return

But its not just about living well
its about knowing the root of life

its Taking the threads in your hands
to rack the rains and crack the chains

Caught in the dream, my ego forgets
Sleep is such a shy death

*Court of owls
Port of vowels
I am Born of miles
in the Korn of howls
John C. Lily-> what was he about?
God is spoken
From a potent Thing
we smoking Trees

Gaia birthed the bloom
breathed the boom
in the canopies,

In the wind flew the bees
and grew the pleasantries

Prana pushing
thunder through

sQuishing lemon trees  
like a hundred new

Whisps of mists
and heavy deeds
Sit with honeydew

The gist of this
the lemon breeze
(We) Going tunnel view

Fits and Shakes,
seeking remedies
digging under you

Might be
dicking under you

Might be
Torn asunder true

Pirate borne to plunder you....
Sweat means gold,

what's been found
with lemon -ease?

I've been told
What in our eyes
is what we ever see's

7 seas,
more like 7 deeds,
filled with deadly feeds

Demons like to pleade
with ready rease,

Virus, the life that
spread disease

(it alters our sense
and what we please)


no te comas
la verdad
del diablo,

today to trust
Might feel bad, but
none brought low

There's an easy in
WE  Strong Standin',
N0ne brought low

and now we win
amen, a man
none start south

Its begun...

Light as
Potent as my prayers
**** the make-believe
I can't wear it, ah

Dark is
Ever reaching
What do you receive?
What you carrying hah?

(Is) an even preaching :
What we choose to be
*I can bear it ; hah

Come  and help me unweave
those who have been so deceived

Those stuck in in the mud of ...
sputtering " how can it be ?"

**** the you or me, mentality
When Neurons Fire free
and Serotonins drained in me

You Might find Saraswati
sweetly swathing me

In glowing rivers,

poured off the moon
With Omens looming soon

With Omens looming soon
I been choking on my doom.

with Both eyes open

and a heart awoken ,
poorly stoking gloom

Too blind to see hope
but stoked, still
mocking roving

Vroom : im off to tokin soon.
****t this blunt be totaled soon

I Might be total loon
an inverted magic man

who most often enwomb
those caught on the moon

Those stuck in the tune
For those who hear
this earworm, this tea room sloom.

This is for Those muted in zoom:

I've found traction in heaps
Breaking as hard and often

As the risen yeast
When you pass on the least

My Passion is to find
the passion of peace

its Stuck In the  grasp
Fashioned with the sap

of my last energies...
This is for the wynd

I got my limits
Been here since
hell and back

breathless from carrying Blood and flesh
Bone-World curved to welcome back

Shape-dependent gimmicks tracing  
fresh tension lines followed right on track.

Invisible Limits.....    /   /     /    / .......
Can't see em, so I cant follow back

Right on track, tongue-tied and strapped up
with a strep throat still, its my turn to step up

else Lady luck might step back, all clammed up
**** I Just hoping this note will...

Curse hope, bless action
See its My cipher to rap now

My meaning to unpack; but how?
Courage and Care is a fact plowed

Strength in the face of what we can bear
Samsara, its a Wheel of time turning back now

The only time I show me limits is always
Vulnerable. still hanging in ghetto hallways

Your place safe and sound, you need but call me
I show me, I mean all ME. I mean All Men, I mean Amen. Ah man...

Living shadow, ghost abode, the heart just saying love me
love me, love me,  love me, lord. Keep me warm.

I've never been so cold as looking at the tribe
around the fire's with that fine glow.
Where Freezing feels like final.

breathless from carrying
Bone, Blood and Flesh, flush chested
Do your best, Dont love any less
See your smile, its a breath

to me ...(and Im swimming seas till im Seasick, waves painting a scene sick)

Those curves like Pieces of music,
Kicking hard as I can swimming like im Sea-kick
movement aligned to life and death.

my hide or hair, which can these save?

Music lines and strings of words, its like church to all of us
You see its Cake or death

not willing to lose it, like the chirps of birds seem to follow up
as the morning fights for breath.
Datore Fargo Nov 2021
I saw butterflies,
on my toes,
last night.
They fluttered down,
from the ceiling,
calling my sole,
their home.
Onyx wings,
somehow sparkle,
in the late,
early hours,
of dawn.
I ponder,
will they,
carry me,
to my end,
this time?
Only wishes,
and the anxiety,
of being lost,
this time.
I dream,
of freedom,
from reality.
It’s mocking my,
birthing them into,
My brain,
the pieces,
I’m drowning,
I should be,
Recently I’ve been sick, I’ve been having seizures, hallucinations. Unfortunately we haven’t figured out what is wrong with me, it’s neurological. I start medicine today so I may disappear for a while, but this poem is the closest I can get to expressing me again. I hope you enjoy.
I'm Outstanding in a field
While out standing in a field

....with these teachers
C̵͍̞̓̄r̸̛͖̣͙̋̀ë̵̝͔́ä̶͎͕͉̈́t̶̢̠̍ͅǔ̵̹̠̖̊͠r̴̜̙̗̊̀e̷̡̢̜̕s̵̒­͖͚̿ and prophets

You'd think its an easy hike,
but its more seagoing

I see, means my ego pre-going:

Just Color coding as another motif to talk with
No Shovel loading this buffer coating some mock spit

Of Sirrus winds and summer loving...
Was it other living or utter loathing?

No component, Native I'm Buffaloing
Icarus took the fire and I took the flowin

We've got the water  ̶̧̧̼̖͙͔̹̻͕͖̠̤̓͊̆͋̐̓͂̄̊̚̕͠r̵͍͔̮͒̿̎́̊̈́͝ ũ̸͖͇̟̯̅̌̈́̕͠ n̵̲̤̙̜̑̑̽͑ n̵̡̺̪͎̯̫͐́̉͜͜ ì̷̺͍̹́̓̈́ ṉ̸̣̪͓̗̤́̈̊̈́̀ g̵͓̲̺̙̘̤̞̦̺̥̓͋̈̇͌̈́̃́͂̍͝
Is it fear or love?

Got the mother-loving
is it dear or turtle-dove?

Talking in terms of
inhaling foxglove

Stuck in the mud asking:

What's the size of....
What are we in the Light of?

Growing like a d̶̰̊̿̈́̓̿̿̑̈́͆̈̅̕a̵̻̤̒̅͛̿̀̎͘i̷͎̜̰̯͆̏̚s̵̡̢̼̺̬̬̖͚̦͍̠͑̀̀̃̀͌́͛̈́̌͝ȳ̴̑͋͘­̞͖͓̝̥̭̥̖̔̎̀͗ ̸̢̪͍̠͕̩̥̒̍̓͋̈̐͊̂̎̓͝ ̵̡͇̳̦̦̥̰̝̐͐͌̐̓͐̈̏̀͘̕ ̶̡̨̟̼̺̺̝͇̍̀̓̓̏͌́͗̓̂͆͠

Growing like my Day Be
more than Dimebag lately

Growling like I'm Day Z̶̯̲̹̠̙̊̏́͗̿̎̅͗͐̿̃

Standing tall // Just Massing Nation
Is it all in my Imagination?

Fountain passion Claim free
Mountain Fashioned hazily

Passion Painting with Green Sea
Ripples passing freely through the sword

I be puffin on a horn like G̶̹͎̓̄̃͛͂͐͐a̵̻͕͔̯̹̿̕͝b̶̧̛͔̙͙̰̭̯̥̩̉̅̅̿̂̃r̴̝̞͎͂͗̈ĭ̴̘̈́̄̽̃͂̑́̈́͘͠ẽ̷̑­̧̞̹̮̌͛̂́̀͝ḷ̶̢̡̭̫͉̬͇̀͜ ̸͚̳̘̜̫̱͖͂̇̓̈́̂̽͂̀̒
(Pfu du duu do duuuu)
Tougher than....

All the rougher
when we matching wings
Most people here
~just gather things

Always stuffing torn like here we go:

(̷̛̰̼͕̰͊̂͆̿̅̀͝F̴̧̛͎͎̹͕̬͔͉̃͆̄̎͛̈͋͆̓̇͝ͅū̸̪͎̦̻͕̼͉̼͇̤̄̀̏̓̅͗͌ ̸̧͚̝̟͎̺̝̱͉̓͝ḑ̷̧̰̞̪̥͊̈̑̑̔͋͐͜͝͝ų̵̢̮̙͙̭̫̤̤̖̽̄̈́̀͒̅̀̕͜͝͠ ̷̨̨̥̩̘̱̘̓̉̈̈͌̃͊́̾̚͘d̷̺͛͂̏͑̂͛̊͛͘͝u̷̧͉̹̟͎͉̎̓̎̌ú̵̢̪̺̱̥͆̅́̄̈́̈̚͝ ̷̨̝̥̫̣̻͚̍̍͊͛͌̃͌̀̆̃̚͜͠ḑ̵̡̛͚͚̩͓̼̲͇̮͑̃̅͗̿̓͐͝ͅõ̵̢̰͎̹̥̫̺͍̎́͌̓ ̵͚̺̼͇͔̻̫͇̤̆̔͛͐͆̀̚͝ḑ̴̻̪̉̍͌̽̿̚̚̚ͅư̶̛̘͔̹̰̈́͒͑̍͐̎̈̈́̒͜û̶̬̮̙͍̺̬̯̻͌̂̌­͚̺ͅu̴̞̫͓̭̮̽̽͌̊̄̃̔̎̃͘͠͠ŭ̷͎̎̉̆̈́̚͠)̷͖͔͔̤̗̋͛͜

Come and tumble
Hear how can it sing...

All the colors, Smatterings
Can't muck with my energy

Mastered the art of astral projection
Grinding rice with mortar and pestle

Just to Vortex the best view
Motor no next to you

Torn from the best of true

R̶̯̞͕̭͠͝e̴̳̗̍͒ͅä̷͎̬́̀̋̂̕l̴̼͇̗̈́̿̈ỉ̶̙͔̤̓t̵̩͚͎̥͕͓̍̏̌̉ẏ̸̫͌ worn for the rest of you.

Rolling free with no potent fees
Taking liberties with the energies

Got the water      ̶̧̧̼̖͙͔̹̻͕͖̠̤̓͊̆͋̐̓͂̄̊̚̕͠r̵͍͔̮͒̿̎́̊̈́͝R ũ̸͖͇̟̯̅̌̈́̕͠ Un̵̲̤̙̜̑̑̽͑ Nn̵̡̺̪͎̯̫͐́̉͜͜ Nì̷̺͍̹́̓̈́ Nṉ̸̣̪͓̗̤́̈̊̈́̀Gg̵͓̲̺̙̘̤̞̦̺̥̓͋̈̇͌̈́̃́͂̍͝
Is it fear or love?

Got the mother-loving
is it dear or dote?
More like do or don't.

Floating on the shore like: Heeere we go.
Blowing on a horn with Gabriel :

(̴̨̳̙͕̲̤̮͕̖̅͐̄̍͒́̎̋̌̈́̾͑̆͑̊̿̃̓͛̓̒͘͜͝F̴̧̢̹͎̖̼̝͚̤̥̖̓̏̾̔̉͗̈́̕͝­̨̰̭͕̳̖̩̘̜̝̩̟̠̩̝̘̰͎̜̮͖ͅͅ  ȗ̶̡̳͕̘̲̜̳͖͉̍̍͂̈͆̉͗̎̈́͗̓́̑͊̋́͗̿͐̍̏̋̓̓͊̿̚͠­͇̮̟̪̬̜̜̩̥̻̝̭͓̥   ̷̢̹͙̫̜̝̲͖̹̪͓̲̫̟̹͎̖̦̝̳͌̏̐̽̀̉̇̒͗́͑́͑͐̈͌̿͐̍̒̒̌̀̈͑̃̅͋̌͛͂̔́̀̍́̎̅̚̚͘͝ͅͅ­̧̙͎͍͍̱̳̼̗͎̻͖̰̘̻͈̲ḑ̶͇͎͖̝̠̃̎̀̂͂́̀͂̄̐̍̆̈́́̈́̈̏̈́̉̿͒͋̈́̓̾̍̆̍̈͊͂̐̒̀̚͜͝͝͝͝­̧̢͈͍̫̰̝̯͔͉̝͓͚̭͖̻͓̗̬̺̞̖͈̜͍̹̜̺̩͈ û̷͚̻̟̰͈̒̊͒̀̿̾͋̒͌̊̾̇̉́͆̅͒̈́̈̾̓̑͗̃̈́̓̄̀́́̽͗͘̚̕͘͝ ̵̡̢̢̡̢̘͍͉͕̠̮̤̗̻͈̯͙̲̳͎̪̹̗͓͈̟͕͇̃͒̋͒͒̉͊̎̂̽̋͋̈̀͊̅̔̒͐̋́͐̏͑͋͌͛̇͛̓̄̄̍͐ͅd­̸͔͕̞̪̝̖̩͂̂̎̀͐͒̿͘ư̶̡̩͙͇̥͈͔̮̟͕̺͙̈̅̽̍̒͌͛͑͋̉̿̎̂̿́̈́̊͗̄̔̎̏̑̂̔̊̈́̕͝ͅ ư̸̧̡̼͈̲̰͓̹̗̩͓͙̹̯̹͊͐̒̾̆́̍̒̓͑̍̈́͆̉̀͘ ̷̢̧̺̩͕̟̙̳̜̩̗͔̻͕͈̥͈͖̩͇͈̠͉̩̈́̃̌̈́͌̇͂̓̐̇̍̏́̋̔͂̈́́̒̽́̓̓̚͜͜͝͠͝ d̷͔̮͓͖̉ ờ̷̧̨̡̛̛͓̗͉̪͖̼̜̬̜̦͎̻̙̖̣̠͈̳͊́̈́͊͋͊̉̈͒̔̐̄̌̎̀̈́̊̋̉̏̒̑͗͋̓̔̉̓̋͒̇͘͘͝͝͠͠ͅ­ ̷̳̦͙͙̤̺̜̥̖̬̮̰͈̣̗̙̮̬̈́̈́̾̂͆̓̈́ͅͅ d̵̛̳͈̗̋͊̓̒̅̿́͗́̒̂̈́̌͋̄̀́̌̄̈́͛͋̊̎̈́̓̉̕͠͝͝͠͝͠ư̵̾͆̄̋̅̂̃͒͛̿̐͒̿̊̌̓̈̅̕͝͝͠­̘͚͔̫̮̭̖̱̞͔̦̩̹̱̺̺̝̬͖̜̼̬̮͎͚̪̼̯̫̳̜̙͓̥͎̳̥̻̃̒̈̈́̎̿̓͘͜͝͝ ư̴̡̧̢̧̦̭͍̮̜͓̫̪͇̖̤͙̻̮͉̭̯̙̞̥̗̱̩̞̞̼̟̈́͆̏͆̌̉̀͛͆͐͛̇̇̍̓̔̄͂͌̿̒̄́̌̕̚̕̕̕͝͝­̱̟̦͚̼̲̼͚͈ ų̵̧̛͉̺̜͎̜̩͖̲̟͔̬̦̤̖͎̫͔͖̮͕̗̼͙̫̼̭̦͕̫͖͉̆͐̾̑͂͋͂̎̊͗̈́̂̕͘͜͝ͅͅ ư̶̛͙̠͆̓̃̀̍̄̔̄̇͗̀́̐́̌͂̋̑̏̄̑̕͠͠͝͝͝)̵̛̛͌́̈́̑̂̌̈͐͐͊̈́̇͐̍͒̓̓̀͐̃̆͐̓̍̕̕̕͝­̨̡̧̙͚̪̬̤͕̥̳̥̱̞̺͎̫̩̀̐̃͑̕͝
Seek and you shall find; Knock and it shall be shown to you. Sound and Song; Sacred n̶̨̢̛̛̮̱̟̣̺̳͓͓̣̠͉̎͛̔̿̎̈́͛͆͋̓̔̕͜͠ͅa̶̺̼͒͂m̸̻̗̎̎̔̔͋̿̓͗̓̒̈̾̕͝e̵̛̐̆̾̚̕͝­̡̩̙̣̤́͆̾͝ş̵̡̨̤̪̘͈͕̹͖̯͙̫̯̎̔͑̔̉̋͛͠͠͠ͅ and prosperity. It is a sacred s̴̯̮̤̫̃̈́̏̋o̴͓̓̐͌͒n̵̼̜̹͌̉̎̀̿͘ͅg̸̞̫̗͆̿, but you must fast to hear it.

You have to be vulnerable to love. Always give back to where you came from. Every enemy taught you how to become strong. Truth eliminates fear through clarity. Don't become so clear that you think you  ̸̠̹̃k̸͉̈ņ̵͖̏͝ö̸̪̂w̴̥̌.̴͎̹̀̑ ̵̮̾̅

11:11 and I'm heaven-sent :
(Was it heaven-sent or hell-bent?)

Crown of kings drown in dreams
Seven/seven fit the mirror like I'm Elvis ; (king)

D̷̻̈́͐͜r̵̜͇̅͘o̷̡̞͋w̸͇̐̉ň̸̟͘ ̷̞̮̕ỉ̵̝ñ̴̺͌ ̸̢́͝d̸̝́̕r̶̭͝e̴̮̹̕̚ã̷̜̀m̷̦̋͆,̴̘̈́́ ̵̮̺̒̒crown of dream ̵̮̺̒̒
Found my means renouncing  ̵̮̺̒̒ ̵t̴h̵i̶n̵g̴s̴ ̵̮̺̒̒

Fake as make-believe, believe by planting seed ̵̮̺̒̒ ̵̮̺̒̒ ̵̮̺̒̒
Raising  ̵̮̺̒̒  ̵̮̺̒̒ ̵̮̺̒̒trees ̵̮̺̒̒ ̵̮̺̒̒  ̵̮̺̒̒ supersedes stagnant grief,
sowing strands of reef, genie granting these
wishes to stand for free: instead of free dumb
To stand for king instead: of king dumb

Light the dance. orbit o the angels
Aligned the winds. Purple sway  the cradles
Purple sway , purple Haze, purple play like h̵a̷̪͛l̶̝͠ȯ̴̪ș̷̈ ̴̤͐
even in the shallows  Tracing hallowed  cables
hollow between angel actors and  kraken crafted

Discovered carved tables, symbols etched in
Fables labeled as age-old things, start ta twitching
Pass me down culture so I can rip the seams
Gambled on Renewal: connecting means
Connected dots: collected thought memes
Till we find,

Horror quarantined in-between time machines.
Aura Byzantine, a dash of florentine in my nicotine
a little dash of what you dream sash about
Hit the  limonene in my limousine
Ask me how philistine when my ego guillotine

Fell out of sync, out of light, out of wack
Fat beats,fat  bones, thro heavy set

Broken and bleeding new Wounds.
So far I'm feeding You (loons)

these lines that I'm leaving bruised
Lines Im breaking, snapped in twos

throwing back a pack of brews
swing a sack of screws,

split  the devil's noose with
Tight screws, hype views,

(always) choose To never lose,
just adapt my views

(̶i̵(̶(̸ ̷c̵h̴a̸n̴t̸ ̴t̴h̵e̵ ̶a̸r̸c̵h̴i̷t̶e̶c̷t̶)̶ ̴x̵ ̵i̶ ̶c̶h̶a̶n̷t̶ ̷t̴h̷e̸ ̷g̷u̷r̴u̶ ̵)̷)̵
Chant the who knew rain with chance of voodoo

Came with a dance of  too new
But what's the shaking got to do

with my too juiced breakthrough
Everything: .. nothing ..

N̶̘̄o̸̱̞̾thin̶̢̥͊ġ̶̞ always somethin̶̢̥͊ġ̶̞~
So we sing what you go to loooooooose?

Please it's time to chooooosee
Nana na naw naaaa na no na naah

I can't lose selecting self-respect,
stand ***** proud my chest
No disrespect,  just here to collect
my resurrected form 
in retrospect, I should have loved here more

Can't lose you should have bet smore....
Soft-spoken with a ****** message from...
Often token I'm guessing so do these dudes...
Please Just take my arm....

Let's me demonstrate :Conflictlikenospacing
Taken Deadly fronts from a ghost I'm no facing

You call it suffering I call it gro̴͚͈̿̄w̸̢͓͐̐th phases
They call it suff̷̠͌ë̵̫̜́̎ř̴̯̥̏ing we call it growth phȃ̵͙͘s̵͕̄͜es
Meet the divine in the air with your breath.
Jonny Heggs Apr 2021
I’m strolling along, patrolling the concrete jungle  I hear my steps in rhythm with my heart
The people pass me by as quickly as the minutes.
The quiet just before the storm decides to start

A feeling washes over me, like deja vu
Just as my world begins to spin and shake
My body moves without my permission
as I stumble in this unforgiving earthquake

I let out a wail as the ground gets nearer
My muscles tense, unwilling to act
The world goes dark, the lights go out
Saving me the pain caused by the impact

The tremors run through me like a tuning fork
When it’s struck upon some wood
And when the world comes back in focus
So does the pain and taste of blood.

A river of people flow around me
their feet raining on the floor
A stream of voices dulled by fear
Reflected in the frowns they wore

But none have fallen, none have shook
They felt no movement,tremors unknown
The world was still for everyone
Except me. I am alone

My earthquakes are my own it seems
And so I will remain
An accidental breakdancer
With short circuits in my brain
Inspired by my epilepsy
Fall into the melody...
Fall away from the felony...

M̵̧̞̦̪̦͈̖̭̣̃̋͗̈̓́͆̓̈́͌̃̈́ͅḿ̵̢͖̟̩̱̯̦̮̜̘̮̰͎͈͊̿̒̔͐͛̔́̊͋͜ͅ­̠h̵̛͚̦̙̻̙͕̲͈̻̹̃̑͌̊͂͊̇̎̂̐͗̔̕̕̕͠h̵̡̳̹̼̯̙͔̞̯͕̽͑̈́͐͗̈́̀͗̀͒͐̓̚͘̕ͅm̶̟͗̀͐͝­͚͎̲͎̳̳̰̳̤̮ͅͅh̷̨͉̙͚̱͖͔͈͖̼̠̮̟͆̂͗͛͐̽̓̿͊̊̚̚͠͝ę̸̛̘̮̘͔̳̰̟̐͊̑̌̀̓̌̓̽̎̒͘̚­̨͎̯͎̭͎̝h̷̨̪̖͍͚̩̣̼͍̲̲̜̻͒͛̈͐ ̸̨̨̛͙͈̝̦͙̺̪̹̘̫͇͕̩̫͋̐̋̚͠m̵̨̛͔̰̹̬̯̦̥͇̰̺̖͔͆͛̐̆̋̈́͒̈̍̎͗͜h̸̡͇͍̫͈̔͆͗̇͛͜͝­h̵̢̥͇̼̟͙̗̪̺̹̖̞̾͑̈͑̓̍͛̂̍̋̌̚͜h̴̛͖͎̦̳̪͔̮͍̫̯̯̜̱̹̐͑̄̃̉̽̂͒̏͗͝ḩ̷̲̭͈̜͜͝ͅ­̮͖͜h̷̭̥̜̜̙́́̈͛̎̏̃͘͠ȕ̴̙̰͔̞̄ú̴̡̹̮̦̠̐̈́͆͂̀͌̚͜ͅŭ̴͓͙̗̍̑̿̀̽̇̊͑̅͘͘̚͝͠ͅ­̝͔ͅͅu̵̖̰̱̗̬̳͊̇̈́̀̂̿̃͒͛͐̇͐̓͠h̶̡̛̜͉͉̥̻͈͓̱͉̣̀̿̀̊̇̐̈̀̽̈́͗̕̚:̴̛̎̇̂̎́͆̐͐­̢͇̤͕́̅͒͠

Following fine lines
But still, find myself

Lost in the trees
Following these

Rivers of difference
Babbel between

Deliberate peaks
Slivered and scattered ships
Littered literates spread
through splattered ṣ̵͗t̴̩͛r̷̲̓ị̵̋p̶͔̑ṡ̶͈

Saying goes:

Man Move Mountains
  Man move ounces
(Tilled forests raise foundries)

Alex Taught to push :
  Immortal as Icarus
Legend so rigorous
Now we all Sisyphus, ****.

(̴͖͝Ď̵̫è̴͉a̵̝͑d̵̝̄ ̶͙͗n̵̞͋ẹ̴̌v̶̡͋ę̵̈́r̸̩̀ ̵̗͝d̸̮͝e̷̳͂a̷̙͊d̶̰̉ ̵̢͝ț̵̿h̶̹̑ê̴̥ ̷̨̿l̷̲̍e̵̘̓g̸͉͑e̴͚̊n̵̜̕ḏ̸͌ ̸͖̿å̶̞c̷̬͐c̷̹̈́o̵̹͐ú̵̩n̶͇͠ṭ̴͋ ̶̹̇f̵̫͋o̴̙͛r̴̮̾ ̴̲͠t̵̫̊h̸͓̾i̷͓͒ś̸͙ ̶̛̣)̶̛̯

Still find people weird...

Times where clowns
Seem see-through.

Where seams of seas
and deeds for these

Grow Seeds from Scenes
My Gurus breathe through.

Winds sweep up
as the Moment pounces

Bullet quick
through Money pouches

Still indigo here too remind that :

Is stronger than I

is stronger than high

When hearts are aligned
Lead song from the mind

Never seem to last forever
Got em all  waiting for a blast of clever

Listen close :
Hard  to dine and dash in error

Oh god of media ×
just trying to cash in terror

Oh god please raise me up ×
The stairs from Saint to Sinner...

Or was it Sinner to Saint?
Call it trial and error ×

With Mystical p̴̩̀a̶̺̓ḯ̴̦n̸͚͒t̸̪͝
Expert alchemical bearer

I'll be the standard I bear up
Of owning all my moments
This sin that I tear up

Putting my palms feet,
(My hands, words, my deeds)
Towards all souls atoning

Raising grace like the moments laced
God on my tongue, Just
Keeping pace with the aftertaste

I'm a blinded Ace with a savage case
So the doc says hydrate
till the drips replaced

Better stay braced
cause we laying waste ( **** )
Spiky v̵̥̆ḭ̸͆r̵̰̂u̵̙͋š̸̟ covid space (fuuuuck)


I may pace in place considering vagrant states  
Dey don raised a case to obliterate mental waste

But we ****** up with them Crowley ways to play
Blood, ******, Mag̵͈̕ḯ̸͓k̵̳͠, *** for  days

Corrupted plays....
So far from grace

Figured Paradise Lost
So we prayed through sprays

Blinded by Lazer Raves
While (we) Distract for daze

When The chemical stays
But I called myself a hero,
A chemical Brave...

More like brazen youth
my mind eye and tooth

Question, am I denying truth?
Jesus was I denying you?
Why it takes the loss of a youth
And you saving him for me buy in to ...
The weight of a soul, that's the buy-in foo.

So we:

Mostly Replaced grass with gratitude
Replaced *** with attitude
Replaced mind with knowing you

Looking outside for help
ain't betraying true
We can't know it all
that's just the lay man's

Divine Grime Meditation
I can't remember
What I did today
Did I talk to you?
What did I say?

My mind is fragmented
anxiety high
I couldn't breath
I thought I was going to die

A foggy memory
Body in pain
Muscles tightening
A struggle in vain

My mind is fragmented
Not much to see
As I lay there shaking
Please, don't leave me

An empty mind
As the aftermath starts to unfold
Weak and shaking
My body not doing as it's told

My mind is fragmented
Medications high
Forget to take it once, oops
I hope one day, it won't be goodbye
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