I wish for your glorious garden to wither,
your tree to shudder and  fall in the forest.
Your stars to hang limp upon the heavens,
and your moon to turn to a sulphurous pond!

I wish for your humour to sour in your mouth!
And your thoughts to dwell in incoherent confusion,
your keen logic to become a pile of rubble,
and for happiness to elude you constantly.

I remember nights
Close with you.

Safe in your arms,
Your presence filling
My consciousness.

Your dreams running
On the edges of mine,
Filled with riches
And contentment.

Golden pastels painted
In sweet colours, on the face
Of night as it slowly fades.

Eons and eons have passed
As swiftly as swirling mists
Surround the ancient woods.

You are
My Summer solstice.
My Winter’s
Warmth and comfort
In twilight,
At the close of day.


Far-off places
Call and beckon,
Through yearnings
In your voice.
Your eyes glow
Of midnight embers,
Your dreams
Of spangled nights.

Show me by day
The weaver’s nest.

The night’s embrace,
Beneath Orion’s belt.

I have longed for you.

As the breeze strokes
The wide Savannah,
My  violent yearnings
Like a Summer storm,
A burnished forest
In a mellow Fall,
A soaring eagle
On a sturdy wing.

So, have I longed for you!

The sun is put to bed
So that we can see,
Through the opened window
Into eternity.

The stars reflect
Balmy nights
In the eyes
Of the lush
Summer plum
In your arms.

Beckon the swallows sweetly,
With a voice filled with longings
To the heavens of scented Spring.

This love will end as any other...
As the day ends when the sun is gone,
As summer ends when swallows leave…
It will end before I love you for ever.

You are the eagle
Lifting my heart into
Unexplored realms
Of azure expanse.

You are the wild wolf
Howling my yearnings
into the crisp frost
Of twilight skies.

A tiger in the shadows
With the flame
Of all my passions
Burning in your eyes.

If I could be with you
For even a little while,
I would be as strong
As the wind from the north,
And as gentle as  
A fairy’s gossamer wing.

I could lie in your arms
And drift into silences
Where no-one has ever been.

I could hide in your embrace
And travel to plains
No-one has dreamt of or seen.

I could hold you close,
Make you more un-fearing
Than you had ever been.

In the clear crisp azure light
Of a windswept morning,
Adorning the air with an Autumn
As sharp as a clean conscience,
Winter was introduced.

We welcomed her as always,
Opened our arms and said:
“Glad you could come,
Where have you been so long?
We have been waiting. “

And she wisely answered:
“I have been to the ends
Of the earth and back,
And I have left fires burning
In my wake to warn you

Of my coming, and I see
You have gathered the wood
And closed up the windows.
Listen…the wolf is close
And the icy winds are nigh.”

“I have come to stay
For a little while only,
For I am the lullaby
To the slumbering earth
As it sleeps in oblivion.

As I leave within due time,
With twinkling eye of mine
And fingertips of frost,
Will touch the snowy drifts
And turn it back to dew.

I will brush my icy breath,
Of  mist and bleak-lit sun,
Across the sleepy moor
In strokes of gold ‘n green
And Summer’s dazzling hue “

And Winter will depart within
A fortnight into Spring.

Rolling out into honey-coloured clouds
Above sun-drenched meadows.

Drifting into silences of amber light…
Where only the sky knows your heart.

Horizons shift willingly ever further
Promising joys and delight.

The auras of doubled wings, painting
Shadows over a mellowed earth.

The rush of wind lashing at my face,
Hugging me into submission.

While the soft drone rolls into a dance:
O! to dance with thee!

O! to hear the long forgotten ballads
Woven into magic melodies.

Music made by the gentle *******,
So swift and graceful on the wing!

July 1999 - flying as a passenger.

He’s young, so very young,
And beautiful.
Dark, broody, beautiful!
No fear in his eyes-
Only quiet confidence.

You fly by night
With sight of the owl,
You climb with your eagle machine,
Fiercely, conquering the night.
Skilfully, lovingly, victoriously!

How dare you intrude
Into my true oblivion
And leave yet again
Only the bare traces
Of your memories.

I dream of you, even
As I did so long ago,
And it carries me
Through a day and more,
And more, I remember.

I anointed you with the essence
of my deepest love,
my  very being was poured into
your ultimate happiness.

My burning desire was for you
to be exalted to your best,
to be in a realm where you could
surpass mere mediocrity.

Where you could encompass the
totality of unending intensity,
feel the burning emotions
etching your heart and mind.

I afforded you more
than the Lion’s share!
With  me, you could have
walked taller than any man!

With your gentle way
you weave your magic
through my heart.

How can I resist
to know your touch,
look into your eyes?

How can I not
mould softly
into your arms?

I can think of times
a thousand, places
a myriad, to want
to be with you!

I imagine your love
To be like the taste
Of wild-wild berries.

I imagine your eyes
To burn wildly
With fiery passions.

Your every breath
To make me shudder,
To make me yearn.

For your mouth
To gently whisper
Against my tears.

I cannot answer
The beckoning call
Of your love.

Nor forget your  image
So becoming
To my mind.

I hate how this love
Stretches my heart
To leave it exposed.

I hate that I
Want you to call,
Yet should not want.

And that I
Want to be with you
But dare not!

Was it my hand
So thoughtlessly
Upon your sleeve?

Or was it when
I looked up
Into your eyes?

And my hand,
Might you know,
Was not so thoughtless
Upon your sleeve!

Will you forever stay
A man of dreams?

You can never be
Included into my reality.
For one does not induce
The fall of preciousness.

Even when you are
In my gaze all day,
Even when I imagine
Your hand upon
The small of my back,
Or your eyes laughing
Into mine exuberantly.

You are painfully
None of this.

When you occupy
My state of mind
And alter my thoughts
Into wayward longings,
I cannot reach across
To establish your warmth
Into my memory.

I will pretend that no imagining
And no affinity binds me
Inexplicably and unquestionably
To your loveliness!

They clash head on,
Swords ruling the battle,
War cries ringing loud.

The quickening of blood
Slowly painting crimson
The blades wielded by men.

I see the fire in your eyes,
Passion of your bravery
And courage of heart.

I see a gentleness of love
In your power and strength,
You fight as no other ever.

For the battle is not always
Clearly chosen for self,
But for whom is precious.

Unborn child within me;
You grow into beauty
And glowing health,
As a pearl grows
Within its oyster shell.

I feel the pulses of life
Awakening in me,
Awakening in you.

You lie snug and warm
In your dark cocoon,
Dreaming, moving
And listening.

Are you a part of me,
Or am I a part of you?

I feel you moving under my heart,
Stirring in your peaceful slumber,
And I wonder if you will ever again
Be as close to me as this.

Never shall I cease to wonder
At the strong ****** that is you
Underneath my hand;
At the miracle
Of being heavy with child.

In our moments of oneness,
I awaken to the new life in me.

I feel the warm sun upon my skin
As it penetrates and enfolds
The stark early morning cold.

And I remember how I have loved you
When my love was still unafraid,
And my hope the only flame in me.

I kept it burning high, so high;
I did not even have the faintest glow
Inside my body when it died.

Spring flower spray blossoms
Shower me with joy!
Open ye, wide sky windows
To let my shadows fly away!

I have run from you
a thousand miles.

And yet you never left
to let me be alone
in my forgetfulness.

Have I known for so long
that you shall not return?

And yet I cannot free myself
from the dark corners
wherein I hide.

I have loved you
I am sure.

So many times,
not knowing how long
before the mist will cloud you.

How deep can I hide
from this fear of knowing
that you left because
I could not love you?

Purple sheets of petal,
Softly glowing in the dark
Of almost night.

Softly touching my cheek,
the enveloping cloud
surrounds me like a neon cloak.

I can see your face
reflecting in an overflowing
purple pool of mist.

And petals gently plopping,
enveloping the image
of your loveliness.

(Jacaranda madness)

Are you really so far away
That I cannot touch you,
And feel the crinkles of your sleeve
Underneath my fingers upon your arm?

Would you simply look around
And turn away again,
Not knowing that I talk
To you all by myself?

Even if you could listen,
And not hear a word;
Would you know that I’m
Just a little bit crazy?

Just a little bit crazy
With longing for you.

In the last shadows
you probe a blackness
that cannot be fathomed,
for a shaft of light
that will set you free
from the agony inside you.

To gracefully warm you,
leading you from the cold
recesses of your mind
to face a new morn
alighting in the East.

I am spent, and I am quiet
with suspended longing.
My river runs low
into cold-cold valleys.

My waiting is a bird in the sky,
turning, turning. Turning
my head from side to side
with searching eyes.

A scream wells up in me,
first fills my head
and then my room,
airtight ready-to-burst balloon.

You are a far cry from me
When I long to see your face close to mine,
Your expression tense with tender emotion.
To tell me without even a fraction of doubt
That this is our moment wherein
I can come so much closer to you.

In wide-eyed pain
You have looked at me,
And I wondered what is beyond
The little bit you show.

What is behind
The misty curtain
That screens you off
To another world?
So beautiful in the half-light
Of a slow-burning candle.

In the dark where you lie
I can scarcely see
Your fine features,
You are a mystery.

In sleep you do not smile or scowl,
And I am careful to wake you
Lest I should intrude
Upon your peace.
Lest you should change
And be not what I behold.

I have small fears
That allow me not to
Come to you as I want,
When you turn away.

O fear, rush on! Rush on,
That I might have the courage
To touch your being
And reach your heart.

I  often  wonder
do  I  need  you  
because  of  you,
or  do  I  need  you
because  of  me?

How I long to see  
even the shadow  
on your face,
because I know
then we’ll be close again.

You  come  to  me  and  smile,
chasing  my  fears
into  the  corners  of  my  mind
where  I  can  not  reach  them
even  if  I  try.

And  you  comfort  me
when  you  see
traces  of  tears  on  my  face.

You are like  an  eagle’s  shadow
gliding  peaceably  
across  my  consciousness,
caressing  the  fluttering  
of  my  emotions
with the quivering of your wings.

Oh  misty  green  beauties,
your  branches  sway
in hazy softness,  sadly,
against  your  black  bark .

What  do  they  understand  
Of   your  deep  mysteries?

They  don’t  even  notice
Your  simple  serenity,
or  feel  the  injustice
of  your  pain!

When  you  fall  to  the  earth
in  silent  submission
your  heart  is  seared,  
your  agony  spilt  to  the  sand,
in  an  unacknowledged  sacrifice.

Sprinkle  drops  of  honey  upon  the  forehead  of  her  beauty,
Lay  upon  her  pale  skin  the  velvet  blue  of  night.
Night,  breathing  the  sweetness  of  her joyful  voice,
Night  setting  alight  with  the  sparkles  in  her  eyes.

Streak  her  hair  softly  with  the  gleam  of  the  moon,
Carry  her  feet  over  shiny  black  pebbles,
Round  and  smooth,  in  numerous  existence,
Guiding  her steps, as she moves across the riverbed.

I  am  a  sight  so  sorrowful
I  cannot  bear  to  think,
what  ­little  children  feel
when  they  stumble  upon  me.

When  I  n­od  to  show  them
what  my  intentions  are,
they  turn  and  ru­n  from  me
and  watch  me  from  afar.

When  I  smile  and  bec­kon
them,  to  come  to  me,
I  sadly  have  to  see
them  cringe  a­nd  cry out loud.

When  I  beg  them  to  stop
and  listen  to  my  song,
they  look  at  one  another  
and  stare  at  me  in  awe.

Oh ­ why  can’t  they  come  closer
to  see  my  beady  eyes
a-blinki­ng  with  my  tears
wherein  my  sorrow  lies?

Oh  why  can’t  they  come  close  e­nough
to  see  my  shoulders  frail,
bent  forward  by  the  wind­
and  rain  and  storm  and  hail?

Oh  why  cannot  they  see
my­  body  hanging  limp,
a  lifeless  shapeless  pity
with  only  w­ithered  hope?

A  sad  and  lonely  scarecrow
standing  in  a  lonesome  field,
destined  to  spend  my  days
­in  endless  sorrowful  ways.

Falling  leaves,  
a  gentle  shroud  
of  smouldering  fire,
stirring  pallets of colour
upon  the  face  of  the  earth.

We  are  the images on  cold  grey  walls,
clinging  to  that  which  is  long  yet  past.
Meaningless, fruitless  and  hopeless  we  are,
pitiful  shadows  forever  to  last .

Time  exists  where  nothing  else  can …
what  has  become  of  a  race  called  man?
Among  the  ruins  the  wind  will  ever  mourn
and  we  are  the  shadows  so  forlorn.

I will rise from the ashes
of this bitter love.
I will rise from the ashes
around your feet.

And leave you with
the slivers of a broken moon.
Beautiful moon and full
of haunting illusions.

For you...
I pine no more!

You brushed my hand
And raced my heart,
It lingered for a day for ever.

It was a Thursday when
you kissed me first,
and on a Sunday once again!

When your lips touched mine
my eyes closed shut
while flying wide open!

I miss you like I miss the dew
When it turns to brittle frost,
Like I miss a summer storm
When it dissipates into a calm.

I miss the feeling of the warm
In your arms securing me.

And I miss you as acutely
As I miss the dance of fire
When fall has come and gone
And the joy of Summer is lost.

You sublimely lied to me
and then you lied some more.
You said you were not ready
as if you were before.

You took my warm intensions
and made them your soft bed.
You made your own inventions
proclaiming them instead.

On a cold steamy morning,
With your  velvet touch
You muzzle my neck.
And I share your breath
As you welcome me back.

Whilst the coppery gleam
Of your shimmering skin
Ripples under my hand,
I lean against your strength
Feeling warm and content.

Your gentle eyes
Reflect the rays
Of the Winter sun
On the golden haze.

I weave my hand,
Through your shiny mane,
And my sigh is steep,
As you whinny deep.

Dark   green  depths  of  death,
where  waters  trickle  and  laugh
and  tiny  flowers  dart
in  the  sweet  fresh  breeze.

Pull  me  into  thine  un-dulled  depth
and  make  me  one  with  thee.
Blend  my  body  with  thine  earth
fashioning  a  sullen  element.

To  pause  in  a moment of fear  
and  everlasting  awe,
to drink thy beauty still
from  life’s  edge,  up  here.

What  vast  and  unveiled  sand  before  me  lies?

It  is  the  desert,
where  the  morning
cries  farewell
to  treacherous  night;    
willingly  fleeing  
as  dunes  set  alight!

Day  has  arrived  oh!
…  and  so  the  harsh  sun …
who  only  disappears
when  day  has  done.


So  friendly  and  mild
at  first  in  the  morn.
With  its  temper  soft,
and  kind  without  scorn.
But  when  it  sees  clearly
the  vast  empty  sands,
it flares  up  in  rage
with  fiery,  flaming  hands.


Burning  on  thorns
reluctantly  growing
like  ungrateful  creatures
to  the  sun’s  overflowing:
A whole  night  has  passed
and  naught  has  been  done!


How  cruel  can you  be,
o  merciless  sun!

Where  once  the   grasses  played  and  ploughed,
in  faithful  winds  had  swung  and  bowed,
there  now  lie a thousand  flies  adrift …
All  choked  in  sod  and  soaked  to  death.

A million  artificial  stars
be  falling  stars  that  never  stop.

And  on  the  surface  tracks  of  dust
be  grinding  footsteps  hard  and  fast,
too  cruel  for  moon  and  earth  too last.

Groping  hands  of  eternal  fright
not  finding  what  they  ever  might .
The  treasures  they  will  no  more  find,
obstruct  their  eyes  and  make  them  blind.

                                          
Through  brutal  conscience, smog  and  fire
our  paradise   has  changed  to  mire.

Breakers in a misty grey sea-storm,
Spray-foam rising and tossing,
Plunging me into seasick momentum.

I ****** out white stretched palms
And throw back my head,
The salt air stings my throat.

It burns within my chest
While hanging feetless
In the storm driven billows.

I fix my eyes on the
pearly black cloudless night
and beg the stars to anchor me.

The dough in the pizza pan
Becomes my heart.
And with my hand, my fist,
I strike it and flatten it.

I force it to change,
Plaster it into limp pancake.

With my palm I knead it,
But the pain which should ebb out,
Will not separate and flow away.

It stays inside the dough,
The flattened,
Moulded,
Hand-mangled dough!

The moon slowly rises in the east,
And taints the mist an eerie glow,
My will is strong,
Defiant of the night!

The lonely night whirls crisp sparkles
Into interminable eternity,
I heave a sumptuous breath
To make me brave!

And long before the slumbering dawn
Dreams of even waking up,
I’ll press my cheek against your back
And slip my arm around you!

I slip into the languid,
Red body-warming liquid,
Sinking so slowly...
Plummeting backwards
At slow-motion speed...

Through timeless fathoms
I enter a dream of gulls
On silver wings
Flapping overhead,
Drawing out screeches

Endless screeches, mingling
With my tumbling,
And tingling
With my mumbling.
Lying in a purple sea.