You didn’t ask for
and I didn’t ask
To be left on read
But we both got things
We didn’t ask for
Leave a Message
Hey, it’s me, just saying hell....
Hey, just wanted to check up o.....
Hi, I really miss yo......
Just saying what’s u.......
I’m constantly bombarded by thoughts of you
I wake up .... You
I go to class.... You
I study.... You
But I still can’t understand
Why I’m not over....
Was the word I said when you asked me to be yours. When you said I want you to be mine
Out was where we went , no matter the time. I’d go out with you over and over and over again because i never wanted the time with you to end
Was how I felt when you held me in your arms, when I called and you’d always answer . When I knew i could rely on you to be the answer but
Somehow, over time, I began to think I was not the answer. Multiple Choice but I was not the right choice, I was the choice that’s so close to right it made it difficult for you to decide
But you decided that you were willing to be almost right to be with me and I didn’t appreciate that til your heart. Your mind. Your thoughts. Your time. Left Me
That word has become so familiar now
Has become a common response to me now
I fight for your attention
I fight for the right to my thoughts
I see you.
Talking to her
Her could be a stranger
Her could be a mutual friend
Her could be your someone close
But her isn’t me, so it could be anybody
But I want to be her
What is it about our past relationship that is keeping me hooked
Why do I feel like I am not free
I know I don’t want a relationship
I know what you’re probably going to tell the next girl the next her but.
I don’t care.
It never mattered much that you weren't mind to hold
I have a bad habit of waiting for people to change their minds
and hoping I'll fall back into the arms of someone who was never meant to stay
It's always more the idea of someone than it is the person standing in front of me
so I spend my mornings listening to music that reminds me of you
pretending to know the boy I only wanted you to be
What does it mean to be
My manic thoughts keep me starving for
An imagined happy
“Are you single?” They asked
Well, my heart is as open as an old wound
That reopens & bleeds & scars for
Yet closed in the sense that it shuts down
Every time it starts to feel something
As if in self defense
I guess you could say my heart was a
Twisted & distanced kind of available...
I’m not available in my mind
Because it knows better than my
The human container that’s headstrong
To it’s gullible nature
My thinking ***** knows that
Vicarious happy is not real happy
Which labels my forehead like a neon sign
I crave a validation that looks like your love
But it won’t fix me
Or provide the happiness I
Desperately need for myself
You can’t love yourself through somebody else
you say you need someone,
but ill never be that person.
even if somewhere deep down,
you still want me.
i will always long for,
the idea of us,
side by side:
but you have your loyalty,
and i have my pride,
so maybe one day,
I look into the infinite abyss.
And ponder all the many things I've dismissed.
All grandmother wanted was a call on the phone.
Yet, i continued to have that simple call postpone.
All my old dog wanted was to play ball.
Instead i decided to further withdraw.
All he wanted was to have someone to talk.
But i chose to go on a far away walk.
Now it’s too late to grant their wishes,
For now they’re are just fading reminisces
It’s hard to imagine that fate
Would bring us back together
To leave me with only the memory
Of your touch, Your kisses,Your embrace
The timing may have been flawed
For our love to truly began
But, hopefully the stars will align
And our paths will cross again
My heartbeat will be like a beacon
Signaling like an alarm
Who’s sole purpose is to one day
Lead you Back into my arms
This poem is in hope that one day things will be different and I can have my love. But for now we need to be apart.
I was a welcome mat for your muddy and blistered feet
an open entrance for your troubled mind
a shelter for your shattered heart on nights where the silence became too loud
but soon, you took your refuge for granted,
my view of you over time became slanted
your ***** dishes in the sink were quicker to clean than being able to see what you were doing to me
a friendship that once felt like home became broken
and I became a pit stop that was conveniently placed on your
and you only paid in self-doubts
you were a wounded traveler that could never give, but could always take
and always left the next morning with pieces of my own sanity
I needed to lock my doors before I ended up losing everything
You make me feel so miserable.
But I can’t blame you for these feelings.
Because you don’t know about them.
You don’t even know I love you.
My light and will power is fading away.
Because she stole your heart without struggle.
A chosen one has claimed you.
And that chosen one is not me.
Giving you up is what I should do.
It’s hard, but you will never know.
Still I want to thank you, for being you.
Thank you for making me feel alive.