FaceTime Unavailable. Leave a Message Hey, it’s me, just saying hell.... Hey, just wanted to check up o..... Hi, I really miss yo...... Just saying what’s u....... I’m constantly bombarded by thoughts of you I wake up .... You I go to class.... You I study.... You But I still can’t understand Why I’m not over.... You Yes. Was the word I said when you asked me to be yours. When you said I want you to be mine Out was where we went , no matter the time. I’d go out with you over and over and over again because i never wanted the time with you to end Unlimited Was how I felt when you held me in your arms, when I called and you’d always answer . When I knew i could rely on you to be the answer but Somehow, over time, I began to think I was not the answer. Multiple Choice but I was not the right choice, I was the choice that’s so close to right it made it difficult for you to decide But you decided that you were willing to be almost right to be with me and I didn’t appreciate that til your heart. Your mind. Your thoughts. Your time. Left Me Read That word has become so familiar now Read Has become a common response to me now I fight for your attention Your time Your affection I fight for the right to my thoughts My attention But I’m losing Connecting...... FaceTime Unavailable I see you. Talking to her Her could be a stranger Her could be a mutual friend Her could be your someone close But her isn’t me, so it could be anybody But I want to be her What is it about our past relationship that is keeping me hooked Why do I feel like I am not free I know I don’t want a relationship I know what you’re probably going to tell the next girl the next her but. I don’t care.
It never mattered much that you weren't mind to hold I have a bad habit of waiting for people to change their minds and hoping I'll fall back into the arms of someone who was never meant to stay It's always more the idea of someone than it is the person standing in front of me so I spend my mornings listening to music that reminds me of you pretending to know the boy I only wanted you to be
What does it mean to be Emotionally unavailable? My manic thoughts keep me starving for An imagined happy
“Are you single?” They asked Well, my heart is as open as an old wound That reopens & bleeds & scars for Vicarious validation Yet closed in the sense that it shuts down Every time it starts to feel something Almost habitually, As if in self defense I guess you could say my heart was a Twisted & distanced kind of available...
But no I’m not available in my mind Because it knows better than my Feeling ***** The human container that’s headstrong To it’s gullible nature My thinking ***** knows that Vicarious happy is not real happy Which labels my forehead like a neon sign Emotionally Unavailable
I crave a validation that looks like your love But it won’t fix me Or provide the happiness I Desperately need for myself
you say you need someone, but ill never be that person. even if somewhere deep down, you still want me. i will always long for, the idea of us, side by side: physically, and emotionally, intertwined. but you have your loyalty, and i have my pride, so maybe one day, these feelings, will subside.