this desire took over everything
she worked so hard to prevent
interrupted from working on herself

instead she found herself back in
the place she promised she would
never go back to

she tried so hard to be better
but the temptation failed her
this has now become
a problem yet again

i always fall for the bad ones

the ones who arrived from the shadow
the ones who lurk in the darkness and
flirt with danger
the ones who allow reality to slip
through their finger tips
the one whose pale face shone
in the golden sun

you see the bad ones aren’t
afraid of sampling death
they are risk takers

the bottom line is
when a good one comes along
i push them away because
the bad one still needs fixing

the bad ones do have
a way with my heart
and it gets broken
over and over

guess who comes running back?
i can still fix them if they’d let me

i met this girl once
she was different
“wanna have some fun?”
she whispered

this feeling of euphoria
courses through my veins
when i’m with her

she created stars in my eyes
so full of light
she makes me feel ecstatic
she opened my eyes to a new world
a world where i’m happy

she makes everything so bright
and vibrant, full of color
she heightens my senses

i’ve fallen in love with her
dancing and laughing
under the moonlight
i never want to be
alone without her again

i felt you exit through my chest,
you were a part of me but i guess
i wasn’t enough
with each weeping breath i felt
fragments of you leave
releasing themselves from my tightly
clenched throat
carbon dioxide flavored lies expelled through my lips
your soul slowly lifted its way out of me
what i fool i was to believe i could keep you
with me no matter what
you were made solely for drifting away

i watch the sunlight drown
it dives down full of despair
i see you closely behind me
in the shadows of the dark
tears streaming like rivers down your
beautiful face
i reach out to caress you
but as soon as i touch your face
i am burned, you are made of fire

you ignited a fire inside my bones
i am now a part of you
i’m too close to the flame
my heart is now scorched ashes
thanks to you, i’m melting into you
“i’m sorry” you say as our souls fuse together as one again

burn me once, shame on you
burn me twice, i am yours once again

her tongue is a serpent
slithering slowly into my mouth
careful not to let the poison touch me

she tastes dangerous like smoke
and breath mints

i can feel her pumping through my veins,
coursing through my heart

she is now a part of me

confidence flows through
my body like a river as i
press my foot on the gas
going faster and faster

i take a deep breath as i
feel the wind in my hair
as the music blares through
the speakers

i am doing it
i am a good driver
everything is okay
i finally feel free

sometimes
            
                i really want a juicy ripe deliciously sweet pineapple on a hot summer day the way the juice drips down my chin as i devour the sweet succulent fruit


other times

                i might want a healthy green fruit to snack on such as an avocado feeling the rough interior skin only to cut it open and find the soft green buttery deliciousness inside i love the way my lips feel as the smooth flesh hits my throat with flavor

you see
                
                i like both of these fruits being bisexual is like
enjoying these fruits i will always like both but on some days i might want more of the other but no matter what i will always love both

the magic of sensual pleasure is the most simulating powerful thing that the brain can experience
a simple touch can turn the body into overdrive
heightened senses and heavy breathing
eyes rolled back as the release is soon coming
the body clenches as the ****** approaches
the brain loses consciousness it’s like a dream

if you cut
open my veins
ink will pour out

a reality seduced by danger is
what made her want him more
the passion between them was electric
the way their bodies fit together like
puzzle pieces in the night
she’s addicted to the thrill
and to the evil angel who
wants her to be his forever

the beautiful shadow of a golden goddess
dreaming of the earth so radiant and full of beauty
her sun-kissed skin is always smooth and soft
he honey colored eyes glistened in the sunlight
rose water tears cascade down her face as she remembers what the universe used to be like

stars exposed along her back
bordering constellations down
to her thighs wonderful expressions continued throughout her body
vivid hallucinations and disturbing illusions
control her unconscious mind as she feels
the painful machines puncture her brain

she’s not like the rest of us
she’s the future of humanity

you, my love
are a killer
ripping hearts
apart with just
your words and actions
only to have achieved
the tears of your victims

“isn’t it beautiful?” the girl said with a twinkle in her honey colored eyes as she admired the sunflower field before her. bright yellow sunflowers scattered all around in an open field just waiting for girls like her to fall in love.

“yes it is, it’s gorgeous.” the other girl replied, with a smile. although she wasn’t talking about the field, she was admiring the girl twirling in the field of flowers. she snapped a picture with her camera of the other girl as she thought about kissing her sun kissed skin all over. she’s a lovely girl. a girl who knows what she wants. the flowers dance as the wind blows. the girl put her camera down and ran into the flowers, finding the other girl. she hugged her from behind. the brown eyed girl turned around, facing her. suddenly, the blonde haired girl grabbed the young girl’s face, kissing her cherry colored lips as the sun loved their skin on this hot summer day.

i know i can’t have you
that’s why i console my heart 
with my own mental scenarios
sometimes we cuddle
the bed soft and comfy 
you wrap me in your sweet embrace
and kiss me tenderly

your lips are soft
 i can
feel your breath
steady warm calm

GREEN: older than me, very very sweet, looked at me as if i were your sister. you were my neighbor and you babysat my brother. 4 years older than me. you had green eyes and played guitar. I chose green for you because you went into the military and fought for our country. i still think about you all the time. you were my first real crush. you were a sweet genuine guy who only saw me as a friend.

BLUE: a year older than me, kind of shy. cannabis took over your mind and soul. we never really spoke it was more of an admire from afar type thing. you had these breathtaking blue eyes it was like someone put the ocean in them. you had the bad boy vibe which i fell for.

YELLOW: ah, yellow. one of my favorite. we had classes together all throughout high school except senior year. you are a gorgeous human with your tanned sun kissed skin and your curly golden locks. a foreign beauty. half spanish and half german. i have wanted to be with you ever since i laid eyes on you. now that we are somewhat talking i long to experience your body in it’s full effect. i dream of us living in italy together.

RED: my favorite color. specifically burgundy. you were a dream. you looked exactly like my dream boy i had pictured in my head. with your perfectly sculpted jawline as if you were a greek god, your gorgeous eyes as they twinkled in the sunlight, the way you dress with such a sense of fashion made me swoon. you were a dream that never came true.

BLACK: my most recent color. i am completely infatuated with the idea of you. i first noticed you in the hallway with your black headphones and sweatpants on. i knew immediately that you would be my next victim. ever since we got high together my world has gone upside down. those nights we spent working together as i admired how good you looked in your black apron. those nights we spent in your car at 10pm as you drove me home. you made my world black

anyone can write poetry you just have to be poetic. if you find the way the light falls through your window and onto your bedroom wall pretty, write about it. call it soft and golden like the sweet taste of honey. if it makes you glad to be alive then it’s not silly. you look for the beauty of things, be proud of that. always look for beauty in the little things in life. if you’re feeling sad, describe how you’re feeling with writing. use your sadness to create something. say the heavy rain is kissing you. write about the glow of the moon, the dancing of flowers. make your world magical. collect your metaphors and treasure them forever.

i can’t wait for the long summer nights
that are soon approaching as the days
become hotter and the nights become cooler
i can’t wait to kiss random girls and boys
at concerts and parties with bitter taste of alcohol lingering still on my lips

i can’t wait to feel the sun kiss my skin each day as i go out wearing short shorts and a crop top
i can’t wait for the long night drives to nowhere with friends,

all the road trips we’ll take to the beach, all the new people I’ll meet i can’t wait for laying down beneath the stars while listening to r&b and smoking a blunt

i can’t wait to travel to different countries, experiencing the culture and life
i can’t wait to find somebody to love

i touch my lips
and realize they
are a shade of red
is it love?
blood?
wine?
who knows,
kiss me to check

SUN GIRLS: sun-kissed goddesses, some a little darker than others because the sun loves them just a little bit more, writes poetry sitting outside a local coffee shop, always happy all the time, loves the color yellow, wears mom jeans and tucked in t-shirts all the time, is soft and loves love, long hair, mostly in braids or ponytails.

MOON GIRLS: dark circles under their eyes, parties a lot, drinks to forget their heartbreak, red lipstick and black eyeshadow, sleepless nights accompanied by anxiety, owns over 20 different leather jackets, loves adrenaline, risk-taker, a smoker, strong smell of cigarettes and mint gum, smirks a lot, flirty, secretly likes sun girls

the sky is angry tonight
her thundering screams shatter
the earth beneath her

her tears flood the streets
she is sobbing as the precipitation
from her eyes fall harder than ever

she kicks and throws things causing
lightning to strike all around her
she has been like this for days

the sun will shine soon, my love
flowers will bloom everything
will be okay again

you carried me in your womb
for not 9 months but 5
i came early and
had you worried although
everyone told you i would
not survive here i am as your miracle

you remind me of a flower blooming
and blossoming once you are
showered with love and affection
but also wilting and dying
due to all the stress and hardships you have encountered in your life
and yet you still manage to
blossom again because
you are an amazing flower

you are the strongest woman
i know you have gone through
so much in your life as a
mother, daughter, and wife
and i admire you for that
you have always been there
for me through thick and thin
and i am blessed to call you my mother

your harsh words pierce
through my flesh as if a
needle were going through
my heart

i want to wake up to the sound of an accordion playing on the quiet cobblestone streets and have the heat of the Mediterranean sun kiss my skin as i walk into a local coffee shop and order a chocolate biscotti i want to walk the cobblestone streets of Venice and visit little bakeries and as the night falls i want to sit under an olive tree outside under the moonlight and drink dry red wine with the love of my life

we started talking at 14 and 15
texting back and forth
exploring our feelings for each
other staying up late nights on
the phone getting to know each other

we fell in love at 16 and 17
still exploring that side of each other,
the one that liked girls
you were unsure but
you knew you had feelings for me
i liked you more than anything

we grew apart at 17 and 18
not talking as much
barely speaking to one another
you had a boyfriend at the time
and I still had feelings for you

we reconnected at 18 and 19
rekindled our feelings for one another
because deep down we both knew
we’ll always have feelings for each other
we even made a pact that
if we’re both single in 5 years
that we’d be together
and im hoping that becomes reality

her tears form words
and her cries form
poetry

i know i can’t have you
that’s why i console my heart 
with my own mental scenarios
sometimes we cuddle
the bed soft and comfy 
you wrap me in your sweet embrace
and kiss me tenderly


your lips are soft

i can feel your breath

steady, warm, calm
it awakens my senses
my body
 shivers crawls
down my spine
 it felt so real 


except, sadly it wasn’t the reality 
i suffer for you are not mine
let me hope
let me wish
let me imagine you were mine

going back to
the person who
made your life
toxic is like
re-watching your favorite movie
in hope of a different
ending each time

does that kind of love exist anymore? that kind where two people and their souls become one, that kind where you don’t have eyes for anyone else, eyes that don’t wonder, where the connection and love is so strong that an eternity together isn’t enough to express the feelings you have for someone so perfect, i crave that kind of love

your eyes remind me
of a crystal clear
sea with waves
crashing every second

“why do you write
about him so much?”
my friends ask me

“because this way
I’m his forever”
i reply

the flowers that
once bloomed in
my mind because
of you are now
dead and withered

trace poems on
my inner thigh
paint a sunset
between my *******

write love letters
between my legs
use my body
as your blank canvas

you’re like my own personal drug
my drug of choice ranges from
rolling you up like a joint

to snorting you like coke
or shooting you up like ******
and sometimes popping you
like a xanax

to even placing
you on my tongue
like a tab of acid

and when i’m without you
I get horrible withdrawals
i cry myself to sleep sometimes

i have to be with you at all times
or else i’ll go crazy you make me
forget all the bad things you make
me feel something like i’m wanted

i’m addicted to you

often i picture us laying down together
under the stars on a chilly summer night
feeling the cold wet grass under our bodies
as we look at each other our eyes filled with
nothing but love and pure bliss with little soft
kisses in between placed on our lips while saying
“i never want this to end”

often i picture us holding hands walking down a busy
street in the winter morning with cars honking all around us and people walking back and forth
our hands intertwined as i look up at you softly
placing my lips on your cheek i feel your smile forming

i picture all of these scenarios with you almost everyday
playing over and over in my head but the sad reality is
i don’t know you all that well we barely exchange words only a “how are you” and “how was your day” every once in a while I sneak glances at you and i
can feel your eyes on me sometimes but other than
that we have nothing i just want to be with you is that
too much to ask?