You won't miss me when I'm gone.
In fact, you probably won't even know.
We never did get along--
so why should you notice if I go?

I've got my mind made up,
my bags all packed.
I've got some money in my pocket
and a full tank of gas.

I'll be leaving come daybreak.
I'll spare you the goodbye.
I wouldn't mind getting lost,
so I'll leave the map and just drive.

All I wanted was an excuse to stay;
All I got were reasons to leave.
So I'm getting out of this place
to find somewhere better for me.

I am distant.
Like the stars.
I burn slowly,
I burn dully,
You will see me only
If you take the time to stare.
For I am the kind of light you might
Not even know is there.

Cup your hands around me--
But very softly--
Leave some space,
Not too tightly.
Just enough to halt the penetrating light.
Peek between the gaps,
See if you might glimpse
The faintest glow of... something?
Just against your fingertips.

Obtained at a time of whimsical fancy.
Stuck to the ceiling/wall whilst chasing youth.
Left to be there--
Near forgotten--
Just another fixture in the room.
But when the light has grown weak,
Lying there, cannot sleep,
Mind too full to count sheep:
I'm here for you to affix your eyes.

A reminder of who you once were
And who you'll never be again
And who you are.
A symbol for... for cosmos
And questions and answers
And stars.
All within a glow.
Which, in any other circumstance,
Wouldn't even show.

This is the light I have to offer:
All that I can be.
And I can give you something simple,
Subtle magic,
But only if you stop to see.
Only when the lights are off,
The sun is gone,
The dark opaque.
Only then: you'll see my glow.
Even then: it's faint.

Not for wild celebration--
But rather quite contemplation.
A moment for yourself.
A moment to look in.
A quite moment in the dark:
That is what I am.

I cannot guide the way.
I will never light the room.
Won't break the darkness,
Lead the masses,
Assist a flowered bloom.
Please don't ask me to.
Please don't expect me to.
But, if you let me,
I can glow in the dark for you.

Mama's in the kitchen;
Father doesn't listen.
Knocking on your bedroom door.
Brother's in the driveway;
He never wants to stay.
You don't come home anymore.
Somewhere in the middle,
I am left to fiddle
With the pieces left on the floor.

I just want to let go
And forget about you.
But those kinds of things aren't easy to do.
When you meant so much
And then hurt me so bad,
I just want to let you go,
But I can't forget about that.
You're everywhere.
You won't let me be.
You're physically gone,
But you're haunting my dreams.

Hello, Romeo
Tip-toe, So slow
Bellow from below
Slay foe, Must go
Can't know of love though
Death glow
Such woe
You go, solo
Oh no!
Follow with fatal blow
End Show

A melancholy saunter, future fresh within its grave
Knowing that the darkness is something you must brave
The unknown is daunting, but beckons nonetheless
Ignoring all the wisdom that claims that it knows best

You've tried the paths well traveled, but they ended all the same
In heartbreak and ruin, and they say you are to blame
So sure of the destination that it's the only road they paved
But you can't find your happiness on the map they made

You're frightened and shaking and standing on the edge
You're facing the void and its uncharted depths
But you will run forward because you can't crawl back
And into the darkness you wander at last

You are the sun.
I am a star.
One in the same,
But we're too far apart.
Instead I'll just keep you
Here in my heart.

Here in my heart;
Here in my soul--
All of the parts
No one else knows.
I wish I could love you,
Have you to hold.

Have you to hold
And cherish and spoil.
Together grow old
Through all of life's toils.
But best laid plans
Are made to be foiled.

Are made to be foiled
And change, come undone.
Though my passion for you
Is second to none,
You shine best on your own, for
You are the sun.

You are the sun.
I am a star.
One in the same,
But we're too far apart.
Instead I'll just keep you
Here in my heart.

Hiding from the monsters,
Somewhere in the dark.
Fighting my own instinct
Every time I start.

Too scared to move.
Too scared to cry.
I hide my body,
Soul, and mind.

My eyes start to adjust.
I stumble to the mirror;
Look upon the image
And see a monster there.

Color me happy
Color me wise
Color in colors
Only seen through your eyes

Color in scribbles
Color outside the lines
Color a picture
That is quite unlike mine

I do not have the answers that you seek.
I am not strong; I am weak.
I am not who you are looking for.
If I was, I am no more.

I’ve gone insane.
It's nothing new.
Been down this road a time or two.
But this time I've made a decision
About the health of my cognition:
I'm staying here!
No round trip!
For why would I when there is this?
A world exactly as I need it.
Everything just as I see it.

Reality made me contort
To rules and norms and other sorts.
I've bruised my limbs,
Threw out my back,
My everything is out of whack.
I'm done I tell you!
Through with it!
That box, that there, I cannot fit!

And in the past you have always
Coaxed me back to your mores.
And I would whine and ***** and moan.
Throw a tantrum. You would groan,
And you would say I must behave:
"Proper people don't act this way!"
I don't doubt this:
Your forced fed fodder,
But I have no interest in being "proper."

So I’ve gone insane.
And I’m staying!
Not because it's easy.
Not because I’m lazy.
But because, going back?
Well, that would just be crazy!

had I been older I'd've
probably'd've recognized
the hell in your eyes
but I mistook it for love

had I been wiser then
as I ought to have been
I'd've known the sin
of what'd been done

Ignore the hurt.
Ignore the pain.
Ignore the pictures.
Throw them away.

Ignore the emptiness you feel.
Just tell yourself, "it isn't real."
Maybe if you just ignore
your shattered heart upon the floor
then maybe you can just pretend
that you never lost a friend.

I hate that kid with all my heart.
Wish I could tear him apart.
But morals, values, all that ****,
are keeping me from doing it.

I know you're crazy.
I know I'm mad.
But I know that we're happy,
So is it so bad?

I know that it's wrong,
I know that you warned me.
But I know that I like it,
So is truly abhorring?

I know there are limits.
I know there's a line.
But I know that I crossed it,
And I'm doing fine.

You’re the one that I grew with,
how could you do this?
What is it that made you stray?

Did you forget about our plans?
I don’t understand.
Could I have done something to make you stay?

I’ve held onto the small things,
but lost all of the big dreams.
Now nothing will be the same.

His eyes are locked on you,
Daring you to flinch.
Everybody's starring,
But you cannot give an inch.
Everything you have--
Everything that matters--
Has  been melted down and made
Into your armor, now battered.
The fight for him is just for sport,
A way to gain some scraps of honor.
The fight for you is for a life--
Consequences far more dire.
You cannot turn and run,
There is no option of surrender.
The loss of souls or souls conserved
Won't be how victory is measured.
Neither choice would end this fight.
You're fighting everyday.
And ending confrontation
Won't take that fight away.
The odds are stacked against you,
You'll die before the fighting's done.
But you will stand your ground
Even if you're the only one.
For it wasn't choice that put you here
But rather unlucky birth.
And this fight will take your life
Even if that's not what it's worth.

Sometimes when there's nothing
It's better than when there's not.

We're both walking out the door,
Both in search of something more;
Neither of us sure of what
We are meant to be looking for.

They say you know it when you find it,
So I guess I haven't found it yet.
Age old question in my head:
What if this is as good as it gets?

They keep talking about love
Like it's some universal fact---
But from what I've known of love,
It is anything but that.

So don't throw it in my face,
Don't assume I'm incomplete,
If the person in the mirror
Is the best I ever meet.

Kiss me long--
Kiss me slow--
Kiss me like you mean it though.
Whisper secrets I don't know;
Give me reasons not to go.

In your arms--
Let me be--
Let your love wash over me.
Slip into a peaceful sleep;
Whisked away in wistful dreams.

Built high--
can't climb.
Strong--
won't give to dynamite.
Fortress keeps the world at bay.
Castle walls--
inside I'll stay.
Gives me comfort,
keeps me safe;
Queen of all of my domain.
Screams echo off the stone--
reminder that I am alone.
Haunted halls,
restless ghosts--
all the things that I love most.
I am all that I believe--
not a soul to challenge me.
Isolation: bitter, sweet.
Isolation: I'm complete.

This poem is short; Not much to say.
Yet still the need to say something anyway.

I hear them whisper, "it won't last long.”  
Won't you help me prove them wrong?

We are spinning!
Spinning!
Spinning!
Yes, we are tumbling down.

It is thrilling!
Thrilling!
Thrilling!
Up until we hit the ground.

Still a mess
So I guess
You knew best
When you left

Somewhere different,
Somewhere new.
Lead the way;
I'll follow you.

Down the road
to the stream.
We'll jump the brooke
to chase our dreams.
We're as far as
we have been;
This is where
it all begins.
It is late,
the sun has gone.
But the moon will
guide us on.
Into the woods
we wander still.
We are scared
but we are thrilled.
Our path is rough,
ill-defined.
We're headed nowhere--
we don't mind.

Someday we will
settle,yes.
Lay our ambitions
down to rest.
Find comfort
in security,
in a home
and family.
And though I look forward
to this fate,
I'm in no rush
to reach that state.

There's still so much
I want to see.
I'll take the lead;
You follow me.

Just one more day
and all pain will end.
Just wait until morning,
it'll be better then.

I wake up to find
that the clouds are all gray,
but I still have hope
that it'll be better today.

I pack up my things,
but they fall to the floor.
Still, I am hopeful;
Let's just get out the door.

I sit in the back.
I stay out of the way.
Smile as people pass,
but no one looks my way.

Alas it is silent.
I'm ignored, no surprise.
I walk home lonely
with tears in my eyes.

I run to my bedroom.
I close the door.
I whisper in my head:
just one second more.

Just one more day
and all pain will end.
Just wait until morning,
it'll be better then.

Won't you fill my mind with musings?
Endless tales of your choosing?
Entire worlds for our exploring?
Unleash the secrets you've been storing.

In my throat, there is a lump.
I'm on the edge, about to jump.
The wind rushes across my face
where I keep the scars I can't erase.
The tears are gone; they're all dried up.
My only choice is to jump.

You never showed
You let me go
You had to pick
I wasn’t it
Can’t live two lives?
Why not mine?

Bring me down
into sleep.
I need it now
so drag me deep.
I'm ready for
the dreams it'll bring.
I need to hear
its soft voice sing.
I need to feel
forgetfulness
within my mind
of uselessness.
Let it take me
forever more.
Let it cure
these aching sores.
Let me stay
within its waves
and feel its urgent,
violent craves.
I need to leave
this world tonight
and slip into
this sleep of mine.
Let me hope.
Let me dream.
All I ask is
let me sleep.

You thought he'd listen,
But he won't.
You thought you'd care,
But you don't.

In a story never ending
little upsets aren't upending

You thought it was forever,
But it wasn't.
You thought it mattered,
But it doesn't.

I'm the lifeguard.
I'm the lifeguard.
I'm in charge of this here pool.
I'm the lifeguard.
I'm the lifeguard.
If you don't fear me then you're a fool.

I'm the lifeguard.
I'm the lifeguard.
I'll manage as you clown around.
I'm the lifeguard.
I'm the lifeguard.
I am here so you won't drown.

I'm the lifeguard.
I'm the lifeguard.
Blow my whistle: You behave!
I'm the lifeguard.
I'm the lifeguard.
It's your *** I'm trained to save.

I'm the lifeguard.
I'm the lifeguard.
If I yell at you, don't be shocked.
I'm the lifeguard.
I'm the lifeguard.
Jesus Christ! Why won't you walk?

Tilt and tumble down the slide.
Why not go two at a time?
Link your tubes! Enjoy the ride!
Run and jump into the pool.
Dive head first! You're so cool.
Safety is a stupid rule,
So why must you abide?

Say you don't know how to swim?
That's all right, jump on in!
That's the best way to begin.
Floaties are the best solution--
Swimming's equal substitution.
But hey, you drowning helps our evolution!
Too bad I'm your guardian.

Every time I swear I'm over it,
Something reminds me
I ain't over ****.

People age and children grow.
Things will change before you know.
Don’t know their gone until they go.
That’s just the way your life will flow.

So say what’s on your mind
When you get the chance.
For all that you know
It could be your last.

Tell them that you love them
Just as soon as you know.
Otherwise you might be
Watching them go.

Consequences exist
and they’re terrible.
But take the risk and
you’ll find that they’re bearable.

Don’t sit around waiting
For when the time is right.
There is no perfect moment
to start living a life.

I'm the one who must stare
At the image in the mirror--
See the stranger standing there.
I'm the one who must stick
Through the thick and thin of it--
Can't leap overboard when you're the ship.
Somehow I must get along;
I may be mad. I may be wrong.
Regardless, I must soldier on.

And you have choices. As do I.
We can judge the way I try,
Manipulate and justify.
Over there you can stand,
Chastise and reprimand.
On a high horse, wield command.
But when you trot away from this,
I'll still have to live with it.
No space in this relationship.

So I will twist and bend your facts.
Moral high ground: counteract.
Reshuffle so no longer stacked.
It's not from malice or a grudge
That I change the story for the judge--
You must believe: it is out of love.
A love for myself that I must maintain--
For you can always walk away,
But, good or bad, I must remain.

I don't want to live a lie,
but I don't know what the truth is.
I don't want to die tonight,
but I don't know how to live through this.

I can't shake it--think I've been
Lost in translation.

Words aren't enough right now
Maybe they never were.

I go and try to put it down--to speak out loud--
Something's being left out.

All this rephrasing
It is so caging
That's not what I meant
You're getting in my head

I can't speak.
Stumbling over my words

Can't think.

And then they don't understand--
and that hurts

This can't be it--that's not it
The words--the terms--nothing fits.

It makes more sense when I'm silent.

You close your eyes
Now its through.
But he said that
He loved you.
But I guess
They always do.
Only, this time,
You loved him too.
Broken hearted,
Drowned in pain,
You try to run
But can't get away.
It's amazing
how you cry.
Deep within you
something dies.
Music fills
the empty space,
But your pain it can't erase
and his love
it won't replace.

He cut his hair
and changed his clothes.
Suddenly, stuck up his nose.
Some of us weren't good enough,
so he went to do other stuff.
Thinking that'd we'd still be friends
I paid no mind to these trends.
Next thing I know
he won't say, "hi."
Apparently he's said, "goodbye."

Sunlight leaks through the leaves.
Silence sways upon the breeze.
Life swarms amongst the trees.  
You stand, not moving, afraid to speak.

I often dream of pretty things
with unhealthy fascination.
I often go where you can't follow,
craving isolation.
I haven't found a footing sound
in this here habitation.
So I find life's sweeter side
in my imagination.

Marco?
Where have you gone?
Marco?
Is something wrong?
Marco?
Why aren't you answering me?

Polo.
I never left my dear.
Polo.
I'm standing right here.
Polo.
Why aren't you listening to me?

Marco?
Are you close to me?
Polo.
Open your eyes and see.

Marco?
I'm feeling for you.
Polo.
I'm reaching towards you.

Marco?
Why don't you meet me half way?
Polo.
You're too far away.

Marco?
You're not hearing me.
Polo.
You're not listening.

Marco?
Polo.
Marco?
Polo...
Marco?
Marco?
...Marco?

Here in the masquerade,
plastic faces on parade.
Truth refracted by our lies.
Masks revealing what we hide.

Beneath the mask, a painted face--
there is no truth that's not erased.
We are what we pretend to be--
flaunting our complexities.

We cannot undo the mess we're in;
Our costumes now our second skin.
We choose carefully our facades;
We pay the price to act like Gods.

Listen to your demons;
They have a lot to say.
Consider, now, the chaos:
It can take your breath away.

Play the devils advocate:
Be shocked by your own speech.
Play with fire, dance with monsters,
Contemplate what they preach.

Hear the echoes in the silence,
Though the resonance is faint.
See the figures in the darkness
Meaning light still remains.

Stare into oblivion.
Embrace the great abyss.
Find beauty in the question:
Can nothingness exist?

And you think it is as simple
As telling black from white;
Little do you know, my love,
That it's just a trick of the light.

I never did fit very well;
Don't ask me why, it's hard to tell.
Actually, that was a lie.
I could explain the reasons why...
But the story's very long
And I tend to go on and on,
Over explaining everything,
The cause and effect each aspect brings.
And so long will my tale get
That you'd probably miss the point of it.
But at the end of the day, all said and done
I wasn't liked by anyone.
Okay, I have a tendency
To speak in hyperboles:
Perhaps a few didn't mind
My presence from time to time.
But overall, in the grand scheme,
I wasn't a favorite amongst the team.
A little strange. A little odd.
Introversion my great flaw.
Or at least I believed
That the problem laid in me.
But only now that I have gone
Have I thought that, maybe, everyone was wrong.

Tried to beat it
But I couldn't
Tried to hide it
But it wouldn't stay in the corner
Where I put it
So now I hide myself

Darkness, now, taking flight--
Scattered by the coming light.
Frightened by the rising sun,
Watching as the shadows run.

Secrets stumble off your lips--
Into patient ears your hushed words slip.
It starts with friends but ends with foes,
Watching as the secrets go.

Simple solids breed fearful air--
Our own breath blown into terror.
Onto the ignorant the facade stumbles,
Watching as the whole world crumbles.

Quantified to the last--
Every freckle, each fluttering lash.

To the debt of necessity I am tethered;
I can't afford life's priceless treasures.

Calculated: now are numbered
Even that which philosophy wonders.

My love, my life, my ambivalent faith:
Measured out to the hundredths place.

Reproduced for mass consumption--
Trivialized by the deduction.

Weigh my heart, buy my soul,
Celebrate the dream you stole.