And if I loved you more than you loved me, would anyone in truth of it be wise? I measure you not in soliloquy, but how you hold me when I start to cry. If all the world did freeze and cease to turn, the sun, and moon, and stars exit stage left, the feeling would be something like this burn that scalds me as you take up my time— theft. We laugh, we cry, I hurt, we hug— but see? I know that doubt will live here in my head, so long as you share not your heart with me; it’s easier to fade away instead. I love you still, but needing to be free, I’ll take the heart you left; it still belongs to me.
Everything feels so out of reach right now. I feel the pain from the snake sinking its fangs to my skin. Puncturing and filling me with its poison. It doesn't release enough to **** me, though it still leaves me paralyzed. And some times I have to force myself to not taunt them. They will know my motives and slither away until I'm better again. Then the fangs will bite down on me as if they were eating a delicious apple. and evening will come to fall for the sadistic trickery. Thus leading to the eradication in which I had made my world to be.
I am powerless.
It hurts when you are blamed for something you have no control or didn't have a choice in.
yearning for you my mind knows better than to love you but you are the only thing that keeps me afloat this sorrow sea full of hatred to those who let me drown though you hold me i can see you growing tired i am wary of you now knowing that you are on the brink of letting the waves take over
i no longer yearn for you my heart chooses to ignore the icy waters and create its own raft made of lost love letters i decided to never show to you though i wish for you to never let go i cannot trust you to keep me around so i sit upon the raft of forgotten words of affection and i find my own way to survive
they say to follow your heart since it is closer to your gut but i will not follow what has been broken before for the very same reasons as now
never will i thrive off of this love not when i know that it is unequal
Why do you say you care, when you dont even care to listen to what's beneath my hair?
All you care about is ******* a person that only loves you just for that. All you care about is your own selfish needs. All you care about is your small problems you whine so much about. (Seriously, it's starting to get on my nerves.) All you care about is the people you haven't been able to ****. All you care about is your relationship. All you care about is using your mental illness to get what you want. All you care about is manipulating those who are dear to you. All you care about is revolving your world around toxic people. All you care about is the horrible parts of yourself.
And yet, You don't understand why your friends are in pain. Or why you don't even have any friends at all. You don't understand why he loves your body so much but not your heart. You don't understand why you're still sad. You don't understand why people step all over you. You don't understand why you are so alone. You don't understand why you tear yourself apart. You don't understand why I am mad at you.
And yes, I have been mad at you for such a very long time. Because I, your friend, will sneak out of my house with just a dime. And I can turn this shiny coin to your vibrant smile. I can twist the tides to make the ship sail less violent. I can break my bones and rip my skin to make you a comfortable tent. I can listen to you and watch you cry as you vent. I can be the comfort you seek solely from your relationship. I can say magical things that can transform your hurricane to calm waters. I can tear myself apart just for you.