Cat must you always come in
in and out
around and about
then put your cold paws on my skin?
I have always let you win
with your nosy little snout
then with a clout
you tip over the cups in that bin!

No matter how many drugstores I rob
I will never have enough Band-Aids
For what you've done to me

The wind
The breeze
The tall tall trees
I need to put my mind at ease
I see you in my memories
                                                                  I watch you move
                                                                       I see you breathe
**If only I could touch your skin
And be with you once again
Before I start to wither away
And my belief starts to decay
My core sets itself aflame
And nothing but a soul remains

If I can never have you

I know I can't I know I can't
You love her you love another

I'll forever have you in my dreams
hiding in my secret heart
Dreams are just like memories,
without ever feeling the reality
I will taste your echoes
On and on forever
because echoes
your echoes
are better than living at all

Ok.
So it's Valentines day.
I'm alone,
but I'm in love again.
                                    The chemicals in my brain are firing pleasure sensors
                                     or whatever that science **** says.
                                      It bothers me that I live a lie no matter what truth I embrace
but whatever

I'm in love with his smile
his laugh
how he and I know exactly what each other is thinking
telepathy is our ESP.
If he knew was me
he would know it was him
still is him
by the way

I'm in love with his poetry
his voice
Every new thing I learn
Is a starburst in my heart

I know I look like a stalker
the way I follow him
but seeing him is my sanity

I have to believe
he will love me one day
if I want to live
another day

I'm tired of being the one in charge
The leader
The initiator
Deciding everything in our relationships
I know I'm hard headed
I know I'm stubborn
But ****** lets do this your way
I'm tired of deciding alone

He who we looked up to
who is everyone's favorite guy
who walks tall and proud
who knows not how we rely on him
whose eyes have always sparkled
is cracked and broken
who trails stars the real kind behind him
who speaks words that could fly if he let them free
whose footsteps grow orchids in his wake
is poetry that cannot be spoken
is hiding behind his mindless joking
who never hid behind his cloak
is dark
is a garden of hope looking really stark
is hiding hurt
a bubbling soul now lies inert
is cracked
will nothing ever bring him back
is rain and shine and colorful days
who has the most amazing smile
is on the top of a building
not hearing
people who love him plead for him to come down
**so he does

Yea, sure
I put on a smile when you see me
I laugh
I'm nice
I'm average,

But, you see,
There are two sides to every coin
And just because
I choose to show
The Puppy Tail side
Doesn't mean the
Dismembered Head side
Isn't alive and kickin'
**Right
         Underneath
                              The surface

Iwanttobefree
        soIwillbefree
               Ihavethepower
                   poweryouwoul
                        dn'tbelieveI'md
                             onechasingbutt
                                  erfliesI'llneverca
                                      tchthemanyways
                                            I'mflyingwiththe
                                                   mnowafairyno
                                                        wsoyouchooseme

Every person needs a fall back,
one thing, an Idea
that will never leave.
The root of your goodness
the reason for your living
Not a person, people are temporary
the fall back to make you permanent
So when they shut me out I am not hurt
I tell myself
Live the wiccan way, you don't need them
and it is okay again

Empty eyes on empty days
Walking in the pouring rain
Life is heavy
Moving steady
Trudging forward when we're ready
Walking through this ever lasting fog

I am not alone because I
Can't make friends

I am alone because alone is safe

No one can tear the
Tender flesh of my heart
If no one is near enough
To find it

---------------
Your love-
is the cliff--
I stand on;---
dangerous--
-----------------**  
but I've never       so          
                         felt       alive
                                             inside

A thousand miles seems pretty far
I'm lost, I heard you
I'd walk a to you if I had no other way
I think the air is finally safe to breathe again
The world is in your palm now so take a breath and calm down
I'd wait a day just for a maybe
I just don't care
I've got nothing left to lose
Take this and turn it into gold
Everything you thought you had has turned to stone
And be replaced by pints of whiskey, cigarettes and outer-space

Look at me now, I'm fallin'
Living, dying here for you
I've got all the time in the world, but every night I think of you
I confessed to you riding shotgun
I had nothing to hold you down
Now it's killing me to walk away

I need to know your lips
Why don't you want to wake this up?

Would you please just take my heart and melt it down?
It was so beautiful when it was needed
If you could know what I was feeling

I've been in the ditch, I've been through the wringer
All I wanna be, all I ever wanna be, is somebody to you
I see you by my house, walking with a different girl

Yeah it's killing me to walk away

Some day soon, I wont be the one who waits on you
I'll be standin' at the top wavin' my *******

Roses are red,
This much is true,
Violets are violet,
NOT FREAKING BLUE!

Legos, Legos on the ground.
Legos, Legos all around.
Stab my feet.
Got me beat.
Legos, Legos all around.

Why can't my heart
turn my insecurities into
words and phrases you'll like and relate to
so you'll give them a heart or a share and temporarily
give me a fickle reward because I'm a pointless human being
and day in day out
wish I could put my suicide into words
a literary suicide for every time
I hate my life and
wish I could go back
to being innocent before
I broke anyone
before I realized I'll have to grow up or die
before I became the
weak one
incapable of even
martyrdom.

Figure this may help someone today. One never knows.
Have you ever felt lost
Unsure of where to turn
Wondering which bridge to cross
And which one to burn
Pondering every decision
Like it may be your last
The inner turmoil leaving
All emotions on blast
Becoming our own enemy
We turn them inward
Swallowing it all down
We become quite disturbed
Here comes the doubt
Bringing us to our knees
Begging for someone
to hear our silent pleas
Begging in silence
As we watch the world turn
It is for one person to hear us
Our savior for which we yearn
Yet they never come
We find our own strengths
Realizing nothing more than
ourselves testing us at length
So we stand up and rise above
Ready to fight another day
Ready to cross the bridge
Or burn it either way
That first step we smile
Our journey has begun
To find ourselves in chaos
We will no longer run

'Wander',
                        a word for
Shadows                        like myself

Covered in scratches
Covered in scrapes
Drowning in wounds
That eternally ache

Yes you have that I bet.
Sit with the interned, let it caress you
all the while it ***** the time away
straight from your internal clock
along with neurons
social and family relationships
so much time
What the ******* guys
you'll die with no memory
of ever living.
Think about that.

No human emotion
Can ever be dignified enough
I will always tilt my head
Down in disgust
At my very own own words
Own feelings
And I will be repulsed
Emotions are the tools
Of
Children
I am too old to express feelings
How disgusting

It used to be nothing but music
Day in day out melody
Now I begin to hear a news caster droning on
Through the holes in the music
The music of childhood
I dread the day I can no longer drown out the world
The day when instead the world drowns out me.

What's the                                   point of
             running forward                         these days if I'm
         only going to run back               wards the next days
       Away from him. He was     a  tantalizing mystery. Now
       I just see his violence.           How very unlike we are. I
          just want to withdraw      myself  from  him for fear
              his ways will seep in      to mine. But I already
                 know what's happen     ing. They already
                     are. Rest in peace,   pieces of me. I'm
                        already losing    myself. Piece by
                            piece the beautiful original m
                               e disappears with no **
                                       pe of returning.
                                           Ever again.
                                                Love,
    ­                                              -S

I am irate
I hate my flaking space
My creaking personal facade is fake
I am meeting my brown and crumbling fate
I am rust, a lust for solid iron personalities I cannot satiate.

I wish that I knew you
Better than I do
For your words like to catch me
Through and through

I read what you write
Late into the night
Until my numb feet
Put up a fight

Thanks for the shivers
Thanks for the dreams
Thanks for the poems
That induce mental screams

I'd like to say more
But I'm out of rhymes
Just please remember
Your heart has touched mine

------
It means nothing because it is only a group of letters
                        It means something because a name names a real thing
            It means permanent because we don't name what will soon go away
It is the number 6
It is graphite on a plain white backdrop
It represents all my memories,
                           Every night I swim through
                                           Every day I face
It represents recollections of people
                        Whose names fill those memories
            Represented by their own names and their own sets of memories
People who are teaching me freedom and trust
Like when I let Polar Opposite have my heart
                       And KRD have my secrets
                                          To keep
It means I am a person of memories
                         But it is also whatever you dream of when you hear it

What I'd really like to do right now is kiss you really intensely
With a lot of feeling
Drops of emotion will condense like dew on your skin, iridescent magenta
Maybe every kiss will seep into you and radiate pink, until we're both glowing
Maybe you'll get goosebumps even though my hands are warm and I'll trace love letters across your skin
We'll blend together until you can't tell where you end and I begin, for a split second, we'll have the same sighs, the same laughs, the same eyes that see the same things
Something otherworldly, I feel otherworldly sometimes when I'm with you
You sometimes break the world when I'm with you, so we exist is some other place
Some other world that can handle the gravity of your kisses

I am beat up
By the tides of course,
But my heart does not feel the watery weight of feeling.
I fear this ocean wrings me dry
Despite the tides of emotion
They lap at my skin
I'll just drink a tea
Sweeten it with warm memories
I'll let the waves wring me dry

Did you know
That I'd like a chance
Because scary as it sounds
I already love you
Did you know that?

Yeah sure
But some day we'll realize how different we are
Some day you'll be on top of some other girl, you don't know it yet
But I do.

She'll be like you, and better for you, and you'll be better for her
It'll be simple and easy and you'll spend the rest of your lives together

Sure, every once in a while you'll lie awake, missing my mystery and the beauty that darkness creates
You'll know that this new girl will never know you like I knew you
You don't know this yet honey, but I do

Who can know why I'm afraid of you?
They assure me that he's not direct,
he deals through manipulation...
but I'm afraid
of?
Who can know?
All I know is the thought of you stealing me away
destroying my tenuous hold on this world
my innocence
Even as you act so normal every day.

When voice fails
My purple pen
Embraces
My keening soul

Speed Poems
Step 1     Read someones poem
Step 2      Pick your favorite line
Step 3      Write all the thoughts you have about that, let the line guide your thoughts **Play around with it!!
Step 4        Put in the notes whose poem inspired you and the name of the poem, tag is speedpoem

ENJOY AND SHARE AND RE-POST AND HAVE FUN

Days are normal
My picture fits into the frame
perfectly with the others

My puzzle piece finds a home
along-side the others
and life goes on
passers by don't take notice
of anything odd
because days are normal

I've never known a soul
aware enough to notice
the glue on my edges
the film across my figure
the way my edges fade out some days

my image wavers if you look to long
so keep walking

you may not see
but the feeling of incongruence
discordant interference in my voice
shows your heart the truth

my days are the wrong shade of normal
time is slower here
and life goes on