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762 · Jan 2016
Flat
Sydney Ann Jan 2016
Everything went flat
                                    Heart takes on a dull tone
                                 He poured it into me
                                A connection starting with one kiss cemented it,
                                                                              the flat world I live in
                                                             How do I add the dimension?
                                                        This isn't how I remember love
                                                            What happened?
760 · Jan 2017
Love is Music
Sydney Ann Jan 2017
Maybe you're ****** jazzed when you find it,
maybe it grows on you,
maybe you wear it out but it makes you feel things,
and you go back to it when you need comforting.
The best music is the song you've worn out with love over the years,
the old favorite,
the one you appreciate
not for newness but for familiarity
and wonder
758 · Jul 2017
Deep Breath in Space
Sydney Ann Jul 2017
It reminds me of a deep breath in space
When you touch me
I become a fish, dancing on the shore
Rhythmically lapped by water
But never enough
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Some one should have told me not to go this far.
At the first stages of this obsession, It was just the same
Just the same as any pre-teen curiosity
I was a curious little one, I suppose.

But as usual, I have to work for what I want,
Nothing ever comes easy
But I suppose I like it that way
Or I did

I wanted this
Wanted it so badly
Just like any other human
I wanted to be special
How disgustingly selfish

I wanted the titles
The magic
"Witch,
Psychic,
Magic,
Medium"

I read the books
I tried and tried
And then I fell in love

I guess that was the key
I got what I wanted
Now all I have to do is protect it.

But no kid should have to suffer through this
Cry at night because the world is so pointless
Hate being human so much


I never thought
That all I would long for
Is to be selfless  
To love unconditionally

No matter how hard I fight
I will always be
A selfish
                  Hateful
                              ­  Lusting
                                               Malicious
                                                       ­         Worthless
                                              ­                                     Pointless human
Just like everyone
Living life for their own satisfaction
Nothing else


I hate myself.
I want to stop existing.
I want to go back to blissful ignorance.


I am so ashamed
I should have known
I cannot control human nature

I am so ashamed
That I am so weak
I can't control my desire to be special
Or my "dark side"
Or admit that that dark side is just a figment
*So people will pay attention to me.
Thank you so much if you read the whole thing. I feel better that I got this off my chest. If you're thinking of reaching higher psychic awareness, I wish you the best of luck and know you have my love <3
751 · Nov 2014
Invisible Prison
Sydney Ann Nov 2014
Invisible wall
                 That separates me from you
                                                            **And everyone else
750 · Apr 2018
Virginity
Sydney Ann Apr 2018
Two lines converged but
Before our strides lined up as we entered
I had made up my mind
Before our entrance
And he had made up his mind too
Though in this matter
He had no right

Were I a selfish woman
Or a woman at all
It would not have mattered how little unselfish kindness he was made of
For I would not have given way to his want
I would have known the value of the secret garden I possessed within
Of no value to anyone but myself
But of value to me like a splash of paint to a yet uncolored canvass

However I was not a woman
I was without firm identity
I was, most importantly, selfless.
And when a selfish wish
Is paired with a selfless heart
A black hole is formed
Which rips the self of one
Invisibly away.
And so when he asked
Though he had no right
I gave over my self
Which is to say autonomy
To the black hole
And as a woman now, I am incomplete
748 · Nov 2014
Let It Go
Sydney Ann Nov 2014
Trust in the light
Sink to the night
Release all the fight
Fall to the night

Rippling shadows
Echoing screams
Dwindling hopes
Shattering dreams


Calm your heart
Close your eyes
Feel the fear trapped inside

Let it go
Relax your head
Calm your mind
Unhook your dread

Trust in the light
Sink to the deep
Release all the fight
Fall to the night
744 · Dec 2016
Race Backwards
Sydney Ann Dec 2016
You hit a point where you start running
Sprinting as fast as you can
Never looking back
Until you're tired I guess
Until I'm tired and I sit and watch the past
Running over the horizon
Getting closer
I wait in terror
Until soon it is close and I want to go back
Back to the things I used to know
The past gets close enough I can smell its breath
But I cannot quite reach it.
741 · Apr 2016
What I Want
Sydney Ann Apr 2016
Sometimes I'd like to think I'm sane
when I know were all so crazy
I like to think that you'd say yes
while lots of others gave me maybe
some days I dream of ways to fly
instead of always crawling
sometimes I think of how the morning stars would make a pretty grave
but most of the days I'm dreaming of your face to block this ceiling
I'm tired of looking at the paint and feeling cold sheets
Be with me please
You're all that I need.
740 · Mar 2015
Little Talks
Sydney Ann Mar 2015
I really want to see you.
Yeah. Me too.
You busy this weekend.
Not sure... it'll be warm, let's take a walk.

I don't want to see him.
Then don't. Why a walk anyways?
I want to know what'll happen.
What.
We text... I cringe when I see his pictures though. Too many memories.
Call me with details.
I always do.
Going to get back together?
My heart lives somewhere else.

He can't come. But I knew that.
How.
Babysitting. I got lucky I guess.
Oh. Cool.

Heard from him?
Him...
You know who, I'm worried about him.
Right, No word... but you went walking wit--
No he bailed, besides I want to forget everything to do with that.
Well
I'll never hear from him
Chin up girlie.
Tragic. I'm in love.
No you're not.

You can't always win.
He's perfect for you
Give it up, you know I can't.
You can. It would be perfect.
I can never be the same again.
That's cruel.
My heart is somewhere else, sorry.
Wherever it is, put it up for lease.
735 · Jan 2015
His Songs
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Is it weird
That I cling
To the songs
I know he listens to
To feel his feelings
Pretending I have his heart?
719 · Jan 2015
Being Alone
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
There comes a time
When you need to realize,
Child,
That you cannot hold
Someone's hand forever.
One day
You must pick yourself up
And face this world
With the power inside you,
Not borrowed stuff from His heart
Or from what's in that syringe.
From inside **You
702 · Jan 2015
Not Human
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
I don't want to be human anymore.
I don't want to be part of the
Hate
Cruelty
Selfish need for attention
The imperfection of the human mind.

The worst part now days
Is seeing myself do these things
Commit these crimes
I feel their hurt.
Seeing myself be a human
And not even being able to stop it
The only reason I exist
Is to make up for the faults
Yet I just can't seem to stop being
Everything I hate
690 · Sep 2015
Outer Image
Sydney Ann Sep 2015
Dress to impress
My face does the rest
Walking with silence
That comes off quite violent
in my own mind
Swept up with their childish
But not truly innocence
Losing my sense
And grip on the world
Let them imagine I'm still just a girl
Let me tell you my world
Isn't a thing you'd imagine
Sydney Ann Oct 2015
I'm sorry you don't love me
and I know I should stop
but I know me well enough to see how this goes on
I never predict it until it's too late
and my head is already mixed up.
I miss the old me that wouldn't let you in so easily.
I remember her but she let someone else in and he stole her then she broke him but she broke herself too.
So let us let this continue
It feels more like a partnership for a business place
more like that than a matter from the heart
I've placed my matters in the middle of the page.
675 · Apr 2015
Deaf Ears
Sydney Ann Apr 2015
deafearsmywordsallfallondeafearstakemywordsandputtheminyourpocket­theyslipthoughtheholes

sofineidon'tcaresleepineverwillthat'sthed­ifferencebetweenus
659 · Nov 2014
My Poisoned Heart
Sydney Ann Nov 2014
My heart is full of cyanide
My soul is made to run and hide

                                                           My soul is made of arsenic
                                                          
                                                           His presence really makes me sick
My body takes him like it takes crack
I'm done with him and that's the fact
                                                                                   You say I'm like your     Anti-freeze
But so much of you, and I can't breathe.
658 · Jan 2015
Asocial (5 reasons)
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Sure, nag me about how I need to make friends.
I don't work well with people.
1   They don't listen to me
2   They don't notice me
3   They think I'm shallow
4  They aren't aged like me,
Mentally children.
5   They don't understand the power (the curse) the agony

Don't even know about it
Don't understand why I can't be a kid
'Cause my life's dedicated to finding the truth
And not going crazy
And I can't stand their ignorance
658 · Dec 2014
Once Upon a Time
Sydney Ann Dec 2014
Once upon a time of darkness
I came upon my greatest fear
It thickened
And twirled through
It made me stiff
As I grew near
I freeze,
I don't know what to do
I just hope I'll make it through*

It haunts me as I walk through life
This fear it cuts me
Sharp as knives

We're vulnerable to this lethal fear
But if you challenge
If you fight
This fear can no longer
Rule the night
656 · Nov 2014
Rain (Part Two)
Sydney Ann Nov 2014
The soggy smell
Is in the air
The clouds
Are cut by sun
All the trees
Are vivid green
And worms
Are on the run
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
It physically pains me
To see you bleed

On the inside.

Thoughts of your aura
I can't escape

I don't want to

No, ironically all I want
Is to be close to you

Never mind the physical stuff

I just want to be near you
I want you to let me in

I know I sound fickle
When you consider my past
But please know

I love you
You.

You are so perfect.

I just want to help
You
Survive

I know it's a bad time
To ask for things

Like dating

That seem stupid
But I understand.

I can help

If you'd just let me in
Stop walking away
*I love you.
The loneliness at night is unbearable.
636 · Dec 2014
Raise A Glass
Sydney Ann Dec 2014
... If no one listens

... If, when they do, they don't understand

... If you're a loner

... If you like it that way

... If you're special

... If you're different...

STAY THAT WAY
I  Love You Just How You Are

... All You Secret Souls Out There
If you walk in through the out door, yeah
626 · Jan 2015
Get The Reference?
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Ode To The Green Lump Of Putty I Found In My Ear One Midsummer Morning**
(I'm sure you would rather I didn't recite this, for Vogon poetry is one of the worst form of torture. You wouldn't be able to understand without a fish in your ear anyways...)
621 · Jan 2015
Get The Reference?
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
People talking in movie shows
People smoking in bed
People voting republican
Give them a boot to the head

Mechanics who can't fix a car
Politicians who can't think
The salesman who wont leave me alone
The waiter who forgot my drink

BOOT TO THE HEAD
Na na
BOOT TO THE HEAD
Na na
**BOOT
TO
THE
HEAD!
THIS DOES NOT REFLECT MY POLITICAL VIEWS... PLEASE NO HATERS!!!
615 · Jan 2015
Friends Are Like
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Friends are like sunscreen:
**Irritating as Hell,
But always save your *** in the long run
NEW CHALLENGE
613 · Mar 2015
You and I
Sydney Ann Mar 2015
you                                pour
out feelings                   to her, I wish
you would see me, I know we share the
same gift I need someone like me
to talk to you're perfect
yet you pretend
not to
see
Sydney Ann Nov 2015
Dreams of life outside the confines
Little Wisps of hope swirl angry
My world is books and worlds and minds
When souls do starve, minds are hungry.
Intresting
608 · Dec 2014
Warmpth
Sydney Ann Dec 2014
Your warming touch
Penetrating stares
Filled with such
Love and care

I lose myself
I'm out of sight
This I have felt
This freezing night

I met your gaze
I'm filled with Light
In a daze,
But that's alright

I fight to keep
My heart from Pounding
Breath from Sounding
Feet from Fleeing
Body from Freezing up
Also from  when I was with Polar Opposite....
602 · Dec 2014
#my addiction
Sydney Ann Dec 2014
I'm addicted to
Mourning
Laughing
Crying
Colors
Music
Him
Love
Poetry
Books
Im­agination Situations
Stars
Dreams
Nightmares
Thoughts
599 · Nov 2014
My Existence (Part 3)
Sydney Ann Nov 2014
So after Polar Opposite
I mourned (still am)
And crushed
(Still am)
And had a fling with another guy
(Learned my lesson)

I lost a few friends
And met some new people
And Polar Opposite gave up chasing me
(Don't get me wrong almost all the poem on here
Are about him)

And realized I have a problem
(I got lots of those actually {That was a joke, you're supposed to laugh})

Should I keep my secret of who I am?
So that no one will hate me
Or fear me
Or judge me
So I can be safe?

Or let it all be open
And give up my alluring mystery
And my "friends"
And doom every relationship I ever have

I am so tempted to tell you
Dear reader
Because I will never have to face you in person
And I always feel loved
In your comforting ranks.
597 · Nov 2014
Spider's web
Sydney Ann Nov 2014
Life is like a spider's web
Piece by piece
Thread by thread
We work so hard to get it right
It's pieces pure
It's tendrils tight
You've taught me how to see my web
Through different eyes of different sizes
And recognise it's clever guises for what they really are
In other words, thanks for the insight
597 · Jan 2017
He Doesn't Get
Sydney Ann Jan 2017
That stress does not control my lips
Or my change my mind
It only breaks down walls
And it's the truth I didn't want to show
That rushes out
587 · Aug 2015
Somebody Tell Me Please
Sydney Ann Aug 2015
Is it wrong that I interrupted her? My own mother.
She was telling me science,
what we consider the truth...
But I am already too fragile when it comes to that.
Without the magic
I ceaselessly pretend to see in the world it is nothing
pointless, really.
I made a decision, mom,
one a long time ago
when I had to be there for myself
when The Truth in my heart
was different from the truth in everyone else's head
I chose my heart,

I chose a life of mockery and being called a child, even by you.
I told you I didn't care if that was the truth, that I wanted it to be real so that makes is real enough to me

and you pulled over and made me sit in the back seat
Just because I didn't want the laws of your world to tear apart mine **again
I don't even know who I am anymore
579 · Jan 2015
Friends Are Like
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Snowflakes.
Snowflakes that are each unique
Yet thousands upon thousands
Each it's own
Lie unfound
In a snowbank called Earth.
Just waiting to be admired
But in the end expire
As all life eventually does.
Write about your friends and use #ourfriends
579 · Nov 2014
My Loves Are Like Sentances
Sydney Ann Nov 2014
Lust
Can never
Replace love
Because every word
I write
Is love
And lust
Is just
The period**.
564 · Jan 2016
Add on another Chapter
Sydney Ann Jan 2016
Does it really matter?
Should I even bother documenting these days with poetry?
After all the love that was there drained away
and my heart began it's decay
Is anything I feel worth saying?
559 · Jan 2015
Get The Reference
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
“If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”

“If I ever meet myself, I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what'***** me.”

“I'm up to here with cool, okay? I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.”

"He (Zaphod) then had another quick one (drink) to follow the first one down and check that it was all right. [...] sent a third drink down to see why the second one hadn't yet reported on the condition of the first. [...] He poured a drink down his other throat with the plan it would head the other one off at the pass, join forces with it, and together they would get the second to pull itself together, give it a good talking to and maybe a bit of a sing as well. He felt uncertain as to whether the fourth drink had understood all that, so he sent down a fifth drink to explain the plan more fully and a sixth for moral support."
“One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphood was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn’t understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid. He was renowned for being amazingly clever and quite clearly was so—but not all the time, which obviously worried him, hence, the act. He preferred people to be puzzled rather than contemptuous.”
559 · Jan 2015
Someone Please
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Will someone please help me?
I'm begging you on my knees.
Give me some inspiration,
'Cause darkness is all I can see.
Someone lend me some courage;
There's a noose around my neck
It's itchy and scratchy and always at mind
the thought of the end
Sounds simply divine
I've got it all planned
But if you'd give me  hand
Maybe I'd start to live again.
I am at the end of my rope tonight.
557 · Feb 2015
when you are killing me
Sydney Ann Feb 2015
there are moments
when i fade out of existence
disappear from reality
this reality
into a new one
a place you wouldnt believe
my place
my realm
it's my place to hide
safety from life
when you hurt me
i have to go there
it might protect me
wont hide me from your kind
your species
but maybe hide me from the pain
oh how it kills me.
555 · Dec 2014
Let Me Go (Acrostic)
Sydney Ann Dec 2014
Leave me alone,
Even though you say you love me,
"
Together forever," yeah right, even in the heat of things I knew this was coming

Meddle with my heart again, I promise you're slowly killing me
Every person who looks at me sees a half, thanks to you

Give it up baby, before I change my mind 'cause I don't wanna love you anymore
O**h it makes me sick thinking of what's gone on between us
550 · Feb 2015
Mistaken
Sydney Ann Feb 2015
I'm just four
To five
Seconds from leaving
This place
Ten long seconds of dying,
After eight
Long days of wanting your
Hand by my side
I swear no one can lift me up higher

If I could claim just six
Short
Seconds of talking
Or maybe a couple
More
Days
To just be by your side
I promise
I would survive
549 · Sep 2015
Politely out of Touch
Sydney Ann Sep 2015
I'm so tired of being the odd one out
left politely out of the loop
Sure I feel bad about my ignorance
but Jesus you should have told me
Wouldn't have ****** up if you'd have told me

You act like it's such a big thing when I get it wrong
but I get ignored by you all anyways
My own heart is my best company
lucky me
and I guess you'll never know the loop I've left you out of
Take that
549 · Mar 2015
I keep thinking
Sydney Ann Mar 2015
Just keep thinking
in verse
in rhyme
with my poetic mind
about yours
I love you
oh how I ******* love you there are NO WORDS to describe it
I know someone will understand the struggle
all I want is to hold you, literally have your energy seep into me
I'm not the type to become deluded
and forget faults
no ones perfect
but you're the one I know who is
how can you reject ignore pretend I'm not here
I am
and I'm not ashamed to say I love you
Because I do
How long will this go one how long can you keep killing me
546 · Dec 2016
Poetry (haiku)
Sydney Ann Dec 2016
Poetry is the
***** napkin we use to
Wipe moods from our hearts
541 · Nov 2014
LISTEN: A Message to Lovers
Sydney Ann Nov 2014
They never told me
How much this hurts
They never told me
Love is blind
Completely blind
I never saw our differences
I never saw his faults
Or my mistakes
I never even cared
They never warned me that I might
Lose myself
And that we would become one single person
I could never focus on anything else
80% of the day
All I wanted was him
I saw perfection
Where there was just an ordinary
Who was blind just like me

No one told me when we broke up I WOULD DIE INSIDE
Or that I would struggle to get up EVERY DAY
No one warned me about the mood swings
Or how I wouldn't know myself anymore
No one told me that to get him back
I would have to sacrifice EVERYTHING I believe in
BUT I CAN'T DO THAT
No one said I would have to watch him in school
Every day without me

Until he moved.
I can see again now
But all I want to see
Are the backs of my eyelids
Or the flecks of blue in his eyes
IT'S BEEN 7 MONTHS
He gave up chasing me
And I gave up living
I thought I was a strong one
Yet I've been dying inside
For 7 months.
No I will not be ending my life, after all being a ghost in this situation would be awful.
539 · Jan 2015
Tears on my Keyboard
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
I would give anything to tell you
To explain
You just don't understand
You say you're not over her
How she hurt you
WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME?
So what if I like you
It's not like that
I love you
I want to help
But you ignore me
DO YOU KNOW WHAT HELL FEELS LIKE
Because I DON'T THINK YOU DO
Remember how I asked you to sit with me?
You sat with them
Even after you said they aren't your friends
I SAT ALONE
I cried.
In public.
This is rock bottom for me
How badly do you want me dead?
Just keep spilling the tears onto my keyboard,
Let's see how long it takes
536 · Mar 2016
O Shut Your Pie-Hole
Sydney Ann Mar 2016
3:00 meows are rude
Go the **** to sleep
Sydney Ann Aug 2015
There is really nothing
that can hold more promises
than a duffel bag.

All you see is clothing
but you keep glancing over at it,
waiting to find more

because it fills you
with hope of a better place.
Says "I am leaving,"

and you know that soon,
at least for a short while, that
travel holds you tight.
Traveling comforts me ❤ New series at #thisismylife
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
-You impress me in so many ways
No, the only thing that impresses me now days is your closed mind and your closed imagination
-You never intend anything bad; you're pure hearted
Sure, Unless it's an authority figure in your way, and with your nasty comments you aren't pure
-You never give up on the things that count
Except grades and morals, not to mention my beliefs.
-You're modest, smart, funny, a good talker, and a great person. This is why I love you unconditionally as a human being.
You're an idiot most of the time, I can't text you for 5 minutes without getting bored, but I remember how I loved you.
-You're polite, not critical unless you need to be
To me, at least**
-You have a sense of humor
-You're not fake and you don't pretend to be what you're not
-You own up to your mistakes
I know everyone says their love was the strongest, but I think ours was really something. I just now found out how people called us Romeo and Juliet, EVERYONE, even people like three grades above us and two grades below us knew about us, we were the role models. We never fought, we were the perfect little comedy act, we never realized at the time, but even in public we would stare, literally stare for like forever, at each other and life would move on around us. It wasn't coincidence that 2 seats were always left on that bench because people were waiting for us. I ask a friend, to this day, if she's in love with the guy she's been dating for months, and her automatic reaction is "I guess, but not like you and ____ were..."
525 · Nov 2015
Talking is a bad Idea
Sydney Ann Nov 2015
Why did I ever deviate from listening
Talking just encourages releasing secrets to the wild.

Now I'm falling for him but I promise I wont let myself
He only ever loved my best friend
everyone loves her of course
but he and I are so alike
like clones that took different walks of life
I see him maybe falling towards mo too
but I'm too afraid to ask
I don't want to hear the answer.
True story
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