When roaring sorrow
I envision a lotus flower, staying gently a float upon the pond.
The sun's soothing, comforting light warmed my heart.
Breathing in.... Breathing, gently out.
Releasing both hands
Clasped in pain.
No need to leave
No need to go
The deep sorrow of my heart beating
Rivers of Love's tears upon the pond.
Yet the sunshine never failed.
I am floating gently - to that perfect spot
Within the pond.
I, Lotus flower
Send my tap root deep down below
Taking root, among the other lotus
Beautiful flowers anchored to the pond's murky floor.
In the first year after my son died. I found it best not to make any huge changes within the first year. I needed silence, peace, and stillness of my home and a simple pattern of life. I needed the love and support of my husband, which he freely gave. Stephan's death uprooted my heart and turned it upside down. It was as though I was floating through my time without even noticing that there was any time at all. There came a time when the worst of the grief subsided and I was able to put my roots slowly back into a simily of a regular routine of time. When I settled in, I found the support and love of friends and family who were open to support me through the rest of my grieving journey. I am grateful because they opened the doors of compassion, understanding and the insight gained from their own past grieving. It was good to be among other lotus flowers, sharing roots of understanding, love and caring.