I forget...I jump..
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thump!! ...I forgot.

A room with a quiet light .
A space lit but very dim.
It's dust I see .
Apon the drapes , upon the tables.
It's past full of sin.
A step in , and the floors creak.
As window blows out , cold air seeps in.
Just waiting for that thunderstorm to begin.
Quiet was the feeling , so afraid to look up .
The ceiling on fire , filling one cup.
Hot and steaming across the room .
Stood a cup of tea half gone.
And that song ...
What song ...
Quiet wind it's gone .
Now music plays and there's a battle won .
A celebration of happiness beyond.
Sudden lights go out , dark prevails.
And screaming puts a knife to your throat.
Can't say no more, the quiet wind becomes a wail.
It's cold now and I need my coat .
To walk the world away from that room .
I have failed to see what I made my tomb.

Is there a sun, within this void?
Is there real memories?
A part of me once seen.
Shown through the darkness.
So easily amused.
So easily oppressed.
The lack of social connection.
The lack of warming affection.
Someone out there, for the days of rain.
To make happiness arise, even through
Pain.

You should never doubt how special you are to this world . Never pay mind to world's hurt . When your world is your own.  Let peace be within you , an you in peace . Let positive thought become positive energy. And give that freely to every energy you meet .

My soul has dropped it's heart,
Tried to pick it back up .
But it turned into dust ,
And flew away .

When someone tells you they love you
What does that mean to you ?
It means
I lose everything
I lose my very being
I lose everything I'm used to seeing
But love you decieve me
Tricked me into contentment
Believing I was comfortable
High Apon my feet shouting with Glee
But you decieved me.
Now I am alone
Not making a move
Because it comes with a fee
You take it so easily
As I crumble
With every part of me
I'm lost
The cost
Is too much
I let go
And forget I breath
I thought I was better
To know
When I was decieved.

You'd think I'd learn from turning off all my lights.

That feeling I love so much , that feeling of your touch.  Your smell sends me into complete comfort. But you always make me feel like it's my turn . To say something unimaginable , just to hurt you . When all you've said was things to hurt me too . And you've done that , and you'd think that's enough . But no she wants to make everything rough . She takes to my pleading like it's venom to her veins, when all I want her to know is that she causes me so much pain. But she don't care and that's what destorys me , I ask her how could it be . You said you love me . But destory every part of my being . And I let go , like I wasn't enough . You hurt me with your way of love . Forgive me for everything I gave up . Just i make you comfortable when you still thought I wasn't enough.
And I ramble through anything to make things better . They ask me how can I let her . Because love isn't just a one go getter . You felt whole till you got a missing peice . Just disappeared without a trace . Even know you still had a home in the first place . And I'm the disgrace . You family hates me , and will find anyone to replace . Me....I'm not me anymore , you've made me so sore , that even flying doesn't get me happy . I rather have a hundred women slap me . Then have you hate me . But forgive me . I've forgot who I was . But love is no more in me . Like you wanted it to be..... like I forgot how it felt to be yours in time . Eternity isn't the same when , I'm still traveling the world saying I'm fine .

Once felt solid, even when I was warm.
Comfort by you , kept me solid.
The love we grew, was bigger then two.
The world felt right, when your all I had in sight.
Now my warmest days , are as cold as ice.
You remember that fight .
The one that tore everything , even the core you built in me .
I drip to the morning sun , wasting away
All the pain that has won.
You see through me like I'm the transparent one.
And I fell to the ground and shattered ,
When you said you were done.

Every step , into a new day.
Has tipped my scales ,with deep
Thought at play.
I drown myself with thoughts
Of pain.
I know I never gain , Im the one
Who will pay.
So now I sit back and try to forget I'm not sane.
We are now entering the chronic age .

As days set and let's go of the past , I start a new day with another mask .

We love
We get lost
We gain content
We die.

Sometimes I feel I miss
To much.
When I close my
Eyes .

They come so swiftly , I can never see them coming .
Fresh needles to the brain , feeling like I was something .
Repeating thoughts , turn negative quickly .
Takes everything I have left , to stop thinking .
Just for that moment when the tears wont stop leaking.
They come, ...so swiftly.
Believing the attachment , is what haunts me.

It was planted.
It grew into intoxicated
Banter.
I forgot what we was fighting
For.
I felt trapped , when I opened
Too many doors.
Beautiful as my petals fell.
As I crumble away from sounds.
Waiting to hear what I created,
To tell.
A different story , on different ground.
Please plant me somewhere else.

You are the one breath I take in the morning .
You are the one beating in my chest before you tore me.
You are the blood in my viens that runs through me .
You are the person I wish to wake up
                              and see .                         -Every morning-
You are the beauty in every afternoon.
You are what keeps my heart beating as if it was as big as the moon.
You are the star in the sky that shines all day and all night.  
You are the only person I wish didn't leave so soon .
-Every afternoon-
You are the reason i breath , the reason I fight .
You are everything I had insight .
You are the reason my chest feels tight.
You are my darkest and most loving
         angel in my dreams at night .                
-Every night-
And even know our life wasn't right , I'd still hold you nice and tight every night . Even without a house or home . I'll still find Time to write you a love poem. Cause that's how deep my love goes. So deeply rooted, it will never let go. Every night I lie awake , and think of how I'm such a big mistake. And I can feel the void in my chest , I wish I could just rip out what I have left and leave it in that closet like I'm nothing but a mess. My will to see my last day to be made . As I see you both one last time before I fade. And to think we started without a date. But today's the day August eleven two thousand eighteen . 6 long years And what a crap future husband and father I've been. And I wish I could of stayed longer so it may all have been seen. Our love and what it had created inbetween. There's one thing that's true , and real, and nothing else in this world could do . Is make me the happiest man and father to have known the both of you . Cause I love you, and I'm afraid my night mares are to much for me because they were forced to come true . And I lost the both of you . And when you left for the good there was to be found by you , I happen to lose everything I had , even myself too. And wherever I end up when not in this world with you, I'll be watching the both of you . And loving you every step of the way , because there wasn't enough words in this world to say . How much I loved you both each and every passing day.
   -Every day-

Let me be your something eyes as soft as a rose . As the senseless touch flows . Beautiful, blow kisses no hugs, cause the distance is just to much. But love finds "just enough" ...just enough. Where loneliness becomes company . And you are beautiful enough for me . As the stars and trees talk to the moon and bee's . Significance of all of them sing to eachother , making our world at peace . Arms around you in the coldest of nights , flames burnt out long before our fights . But everyone loses sight . Of the beauty in being loved every single night . And not have to give a **** about feeling what's right . We know what's right . In those moments when you want to be held tight . Don't worry everything will be alright . So many seems , never could cut ties . But for someone to sing the song of love for eternity ? . That's the kind of guy I want to be . And to share that love with the beautiful women next to me . Thinking so blissfully .

Quiet winter's day ,in a house filled with winter's snow.
Many things about this house .
Things I didn't know.
I spent my life , searching for a light .
So I can melt all this winter snow.
It's doesn't please me anymore ,
And stops me from going where I want to go.
By the time summer comes , it has made me so cold.
Many people get only 70 of those.
But yet my house is getting kinda old.
Every step , towards my death bed.
These are the things I said .
It was a quiet winter's day , in a house with a empty soul.

~E. C. D. C.

The rest of me , I lay down my weapons so this could be . I fall straight down to one knee. And cry endlessly. Grey lit skies above , when you look away disowning love. Take the time to beat , and see whats in my mind , mind boggling . Destroying every last string holding me,can't you see. I'm falling apart , as my world comes deadly. Silent screams , crackling bolts of lightning strike facelessly, namelessly . Open heartedness, forgiven .lost for the time I was driven . Believe in . Every aspect of my life , thrown out my  window and forgotten. But me , I'll never be the same again . Ever again .