You dug your claws,
Into my pale flesh.
No scream escaped my lips.
My eyes,
Grazed over your talons.
I never saw nails,
So sharp and long.

The blood gushing down my arm,
Was a beautiful scarlet red.
Mesmerized,
I looked up at you.

Over time,
The blood dried;
The initial wonder,
Disappeared.

Day after day,
I stared at your nails,
Buried deep in my arm.
An infection brewed,
It dawned that they,
Must be removed.

I tried ripping one out,
While your back was turned.
You instinctively shoved it deeper.
Wincing in pain,
Frustrated,
Rage boiled inside me.

Extracting them from my flesh,
Sent searing waves of pain,
Throughout my body.
The grip of the very last one,
Seemed insurmountable.

The gouges healed,
Scars remain.
Some days,
A wound reopens,
And I find a piece,
Of your nail,
Thriving beneath my skin.

But when I see one,
I rip it out,
And burn it.

My face scrunches up,
Uncomfortably.
Hunching over,
My body draws into itself.

Tears pour out,
Streaming down my face.
Wiping them away incessantly,
Doesn't hault them,
Or my hysteria.

Rubbing uncontrollably,
The skin around my eyes,
Begins to tear.
I can no longer tell...
If I'm still crying,
Or if it's all blood,
Raining down my cheeks,
Staining everything red.

talking to you,
is like smoking a cigarette.
your toxins slowly **** me.
at first it's hard to notice.
you hit my bloodstream,
and I get a bit lightheaded.
but over time,
I grow weaker,
and it gets harder to pick up the lighter.

your eyes absorb,
the entirety of my focus.

waiting for a reply,
you stare back at me.
dumbfounded,
my lips part,
as I realize,
I have no relevant response.

I learn,
to hear what you say,
I must look away.

you are sinking,
into septic shallows.
seemingly spacious and safe,
you stay: slowly slipping.

sadly, static sounds in your ear.

you seep into ****,
believing it to be:
serenity.

Fall is so beautiful.
Thick and thin branches,
Are painted with,
Gorgeous shades,
Of orange, red, and yellow,
That my eyes fall upon,
By gazing out,
This broad window.
The contrast of,
Dark brown bark,
And warm shades,
Bring life to the season where,
Everything begins,
To die.
The sky is so crystal blue,
So clean,
Unlike my clouded surroundings.

you have cut out your heart,
and offered up your soul.
placing each in my hands,
my grip falters,
as they hit the floor,
and succumb to the cold and dirt.

i sit alone
in my room
and think of you

old emotions resurface
feeling the graze of wings
from the ghosts of butterflies
that once flew about
in my stomach

why am i allowing you
to consume me daily
when i haven't
seen your face
in years

I don't want to be 19.
That's how old you were,
When we met.
I understand,
Your mind wasn't that,
Of an adult's.
Currently,
Neither is mine,
But your body was,
And I was 15.

i am laying
as still as possible
i feel a small spider
gently walking across
my right eyebrow
i refuse to stir
or bat it away
if i do
you will know
i am awake
and i would rather
you did not

The sound of your voice,
Ignites a fire within me.
Gorgeous, dancing flames,
Replace the darkness inside my body,
With light.

Suddenly, I wince with pain.
The light falters,
As the realization hits:
My innards are being scorched.

At first, the flames displayed such beauty,
And blindingly dazzled.
I took no notice of the slow burning,
Charring my innocence.

Silencing you,
Was the only way to put out the fire,
And slowly begin to heal.

Robbing you of your voice,
Means eliminating your existence,
To me.

a sentient being
hyperaware of his emotions
with flawless discernment

a heart so strikingly alluring
seemingly comprised of
gorgeous sleek sparkling ice

...but once melted
underneath, it is revealed:
a gorgeous fire blazes
radiating such warmth
and pure intentions
you would be a fool to think him cold

his exterior:
so breathtaking
seemingly unreal

rare stylistically
unapolegetically
himself

basically
bexey.

disassociating *******
consciousness, far from here
lost amongst the clouds in the sky
as I come down, they follow me
fog lays softly upon the ground I walk on

i sip water
as you sip
on your beer

your cheeks are rosy
and warm to the touch
my hand is ice cold
you flinch and pull away

your eyes are wide
my lip is cracked
a small bead of blood
forms atop
and slips down
my bottom lip

as you sip
on your beer

wishing for a break
from the hectic mania
that my mind projects
and the absolute havoc
the outside world reaps

you crush him
beneath your feet
you turn him
into nothing more
than broken glass
I see your toes
gushing blood

feed me
your toxicity
bathe me
in your dysfunction
promise me
and deliver nothing
tell me
you want me
and never show it
show me attention
affection
when convenient
and when not
leave me in the shadows
to regret in solitude

sometimes i want
my bath to eat me

it's not that
i want to drown
in its water

i want my bathtub
to swallow me whole

i want to feel
the warm water
cascade around my body
as i'm pulled into
unknown depths

never to return
without a trace
that i was ever
here

the constant droll
of my inner monologue
uninteruppted
is exhausting

all night long
we stay up
I miss out on sleep
to talk to you
you kiss me sweetly
while trying
to take my pants off
all night long
we stay up
possibly
for different reasons

Sat in the passenger seat,
Gazing out the window,
Coasting along.

As a teen,
I am meant to feel,
The most alive.
So why do I feel,
So dead inside?

my eyes feel heavy,
my head is tired.
if i let some tears fall,
will I feel lighter?

Although I often care too much
I can't help it, I stare too much
Now you are here,
And as I look into blue
I can only truly see you
And the color of your eyes.

i see you sitting
in a sea of people
somehow
you still appear
alone

let me
approach you
keep you
company
so you don't feel
or appear
so alone

maybe you would
let me
but
i am having trouble
letting myself

you smile broadly
i can see all of your teeth sparkle
you give me a kiss
and dart out the door
i manage a somber smile
and wonder
why you never ask
if im okay

are you a person,
or a cloud?
you seem to be,
physically solid.
you are warm,
under my touch,
but sometimes,
I feel you fading...
evaporating,
like water vapor,
into a cloud,
above me.

when i wake
i am jarred
and embarrassed
all that i try to stuff away
blooms so beautifully
and freely
in my sleep

my dreams
paint my desires
so honestly
and never tell lies

i want to throw myself off a bridge
if it means
you will no longer
flood my head

slowly crackling inside,
shattering little by little,
while I'm sitting.
feeling,
but not really paying attention:
noticing but not focusing.

hunched over
in the shower
cold water
spraying down

you shiver
I trace your exposed spine
with
my finger
and whisper
"come closer"

somberly standing
slowly sulking
stoic and sad
steadily swaying
sadly saturated
in sobriety

There is a tornado wreaking havoc,
Within the walls of my skull,
Shattering my psyche.

There is a small voice,
Imbedded in the lining of my stomach,
Speaking of hope and potential.
The noise is so faint,
I dare call it a whisper.

I know I am really odd.
I think
My isolation,
Speaks for itself,

But,
People scare me.

My room,
Feels so safe.
Its four walls,
Are predictable.
They never say,
The wrong thing,
Or make me feel,
Like a lesser being.

They also,
Never respond to me.
And,
The constant droll,
Of my inner monologue,
Uninterrupted,
Is exhausting.

I break my own heart
every day
I choose to love you

take away my ability to dream.
so there is one less reality,
in which,
you break my heart.

I am trying
to keep my head above water...
and avoid looking at you
if i mistakenly do
I will sink so deeply
air will no longer be
a familiarity
not even a privilege
simply nonexistent
instead
i will solely breathe you in