no point in thinking
about right or wrong,
in the end, is it ever up to us?
I wonder about my hopes.
I may have lost them all,
yet I fail to indulge
in the epicurean practice
no glory, joy, or
gold—if it mattered—awaits me,
it's something its consequence
will hurl a spear
between my blades
and watch me fall to the absence of sea.
but there is hope for the child
that once held my hand
and said “you're kind.”
thus with this spear,
I may take sail
into the abundance of tears.
without a purpose I remain.
I told myself
"I will have a great day"
We tell ourselves things that are so cliche
but makes us feel even more isolate.
Despite the positive affirmations
I felt so unmotivated and everything I did or told myself I will do
made it feel like it was obligated.
wake up again
its tuesday again
no i don't want to continue watching
i wont brush my teeth this morning
i often ask myself
why do I do
if a knife goes dull after it's been used too many times,
why does life feel so dull right now.
it's not that i've done everything i could do,
it's not that i'm worn out,
but i've simply lost the childhood spark
that used to gleam in my eyes.
and i'm not sure how to sharpen the useless knife
that is life.
a moment in time, captured by a few poorly written words.
I sit here every evening
Nothing comes to mind
No muse in sight
I have an ache inside
I can't describe
I type a few lines
Words won't rhyme
Failing each time
The sting inside
A low lit flame
Dwindling down to nothing
Why can't I find
What's burning inside
And type it all out
Not even sure what it's about
The words pour down the sink
Draining to never be seen
I'm stuck in between
The chaos unheard
And losing myself
Placing my unfinished words
Back on their shelf
Recently I've felt my passion dwindle.
I love writing, and maybe criticism is too much to ask for. I shouldn't need it. One single word can extinguish the flame I hold. Sadly.
Matagal-tagal na ang nakalipas mula sa huling beses kong magsulat ng tula
Pag sinabi kong matagal, ang ibig kong sabihin
Ay ilang araw na ang nakalipas
Nang hindi ako nakabubuo ng tula
Nasanay kasi akong halos araw-araw akong may naisusulat
Kung di man buong tula
Kahit ilan mang linya
Nasanay kasi akong lahat ng aking nakikita
Ay ginagamit kong inspirasyon
Sa paghugas ng pinggan
Sa pagkain ng hapunan
Sa pagsampay ng labada
Hanggang sa pagpikit ng mga mata
Hindi ako nauubusan
Ng salitang nais isulat o ibigkas
Ngunit sa mga nakaraang araw
Ay hindi ko yun naramdaman
Pareho lang naman ang kaganapan
Pero tila nawala ang aking mga salita
Pareho lang naman ang aking ginagawa?
Bakit nawala bigla ang aking pagiging manunula?
Ang pagbangon ay nanatiling karaniwan
Hanggang pagpikit nang mata
Wala namang mahalagang kasulat-sulat ng tula
Hindi ko mawari
Kung ano ang nangyari
Hindi ko matukoy
Katamaran ba ito? Pagod? Antok? Ano ba itong nararamdaman ko?
Hindi ko matukoy
Kasi wala akong maramdaman
Alam mo yung pakiramdam ng paang manhid?
Aba syempre hindi, kasi wala naman itong nararamdaman.
Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam
Kung ano ang punto ng tulang ito
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang pinagsasasabi ko
Sa simula hanggang dulo
Pero kahit papaano
Mabuti at nakapagsulat muli ako
I barely wrote anything last week and it frustrated me so much. I don't even know how or why it happened, but I'm currently trying to overcome this slump.
There will always be a reason you can’t
Until you push yourself for a reason you can
the fire burns bright,
clouding my mind
with the smoke
of an angry heart.
with all her might
to put the blaze out —
will she succeed?
i am so frustrated right now.
don't expect me to do for you
what you don't do for yourself
don't mistake your right to be wrong
for my respect
the worlds collided, merged
what you attack rules over you
the song i've known for years
makes sense now but
i still won't play it out loud
but i'd watch you dance anyway
i will tell you what i have been dreaming about
since i chose to be useful
those are my real hopes
that i want out, once and for all
but that would never be allowed
i am, we are, exhausted, anyway
your anger is justified by everything you lack
there is no point in teaching
you need to be left to learn
here is my last line
everything this masochistic mayhem is about
it's fine to be alright
it's still normal to feel okay
it has been always normal
for you to be okay
it is okay to show vulnerability
you are human after all
but always remember to defend your keep
steady now and don't lose your footing
this will be my mantra