I have wanted to hold you in these arms of mine for months...
But, I couldn't quite figure out which walls to push down in order to let you in,
What grounding I needed to find to lend you my voice,
All I could share,were these eyes,
My silent “yes
My scared “hello”
And I am utterly scared by you,
Or terrified of the you, you will make of me.
I’d like to feel enough to give you something to fall into
But I know I can’t do that.
I know I can’t be her.
I can’t be the girl to share your graces in the morning.
I want to hold you
So that you’ll be close enough to break me,
Break me apart
So I can have something to piece back together in the morning.
See I am good at fixing things,
And being broken.
I am not quite ready to be whole.
I have some wanderlust to fall into,
Some hearts of my own to break,
Some kisses to never speak about,
And languages for my tongue to become fluent in.
And I’m not ready for it to be you.
So let me hold you
In my arms…
Will you break me?
I need something to put together in the morning.
I am sorry that you cannot stay.
Right now, I am not yet, quite ready, to be good at you.