I'm not sure if it's allergies,
Or maybe anxiety;
But burning tears come to my eyes,
And I deal with them quietly.
I always forget to take a breath—
Whether it's stolen away,
Or whether it catches in my throat,
Because there's nothing I can say.
A cold lump moved into my stomach—
It hasn't moved for weeks;
And the nausea that comes upon me
Drains the color from my cheeks.
Icicles of panic stab
My raw and tender conscience;
The voices inside my head keep screaming,
"No!" And I have to constantly fight this.
I can't sit still and just take this
I shudder, shiver and shake
I feel exposed and yet alone
How much more can I take?
What is wrong with this body?
And all the emotions inside?
If I could, I'd run to the mountains
To find a place to hide.
Surrounded by friends I think I know,
But who've never known me
I tell myself that that's a lie
I tell myself I'm not lonely.
If I once feel right again
If this throbbing in my head can cease
I'll take that as a sign from above
And soak in every second of peace.
April 14, 2016 ~ one poem a day challenge