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Feb 2015 · 4.9k
goodbye
axr Feb 2015
I came here to write a goodbye letter
but then i couldn't type a single thing -
so here it is,

Goodbye.
I am not killing myself or anything, temporarily leaving this website.
Feb 2015 · 8.0k
heartbreak
axr Feb 2015
Why
the
****
is
it
called
a heartbreak
when
your
heart
pumps blood
and
if you don't have it
*you
*******
die
perks of being a forever alone
Feb 2015 · 1.5k
I am
axr Feb 2015
I am the fire shining bright in your hands
the water which quenched your thirst
the earth you adore
the air you breath.

You need me.

I am the fire setting you ablaze
the water in which you drown
the earth which crushes you
the air stinging on your wounds.

**You adored me.
Jan 2015 · 909
kisses and lies
axr Jan 2015
Raindrops felt like razors on their skin
She looked at him with eyes filled with tears
His gaze fixed at her
He leaned to give her another kiss
A kiss which sparked a lie she would live.
Jan 2015 · 747
my present situation
axr Jan 2015
I am turning into the person i detest and i have no control over it.

i don't want to be like this.
Jan 2015 · 687
block
axr Jan 2015
I pick up a pen
to let my emotions flow
The ink has dried
The paper remains empty.

I cry.
i don't even know how to handle this writer's block.
Jan 2015 · 621
give me
axr Jan 2015
give me all your empty kisses
give me all your broken dreams
tell me about the man who misses
the sun's beams

give me all your nightmares
and i will shut them out
we will look at the sun flares
whilst calling everyone out

give me all your insecurities
and I'll tell you that they're gold
life ain't about impurities
so how many lies have you told?

give me all your weapons
and I'll hide them away.
talk about my demons?
they're here to stay.

give me all your empty kisses
and your lies
i stole your knife to sharpen
it and
stab you twice.
Jan 2015 · 6.4k
curse
axr Jan 2015
He killed them all
drank their blood
to the devil, he called.
He screamed 'I am enchanted by luck.'
Bullets missed him
he smirked
'The devil has blessed me with a curse.'
Jan 2015 · 968
I don't know her anymore
axr Jan 2015
That girl who locked herself in the room
took out a blade and stained it on her skin

I don't know her anymore

That girl who shoved ******* down her throat thinking that she would be skinny

I don't know her anymore

That one who showed her scars to the ones who cared.
And laughed at their advice because she thought hurting herself was the right thing to do.

I don't her anymore.

That girl who saw herself in a coffin,planned out her funeral because she wanted to die more than anything else.

I don't know her anymore.

That girl who saw only darkness in the tunnel,threw herself in a shell and hid from the world above.

I don't know her anymore.

That one who refused to chase her dreams.

*I don't know her anymore.
2012 and 2013 were tough years for me. 2014 was the time i spent trying to recover but gave myself away to bulimia.
i ain't taking that kind of **** in 2015. For real, I am ready for anything that life throws at me. It will be hard,but i will rise.
also, by May I will be one year clean from hurting myself and bulimia.
Jan 2015 · 4.0k
pills
axr Jan 2015
Another one exploded in their mouths.
Nostalgia.
They're dead.
Kids,don't do drugs.
Dec 2014 · 2.7k
forgetting him
axr Dec 2014
Metal permeated into her skin
Needles containing ink poked her
She moaned in pain.

It was the only way she could forget him.
axr Dec 2014
No, I am not fighting back any remorse
It's my soul he needs to hunt
before I collapse on the floor

She is not damaged
just a little hurt
I could live with her on any planet
or under a curse.

I can send him on a quest
to unravel my soul.
For years, I can watch his green eyes
turn to gold.
I don't sense anything sinister
Maybe for once, I can unsheathe myself
to this patient listener

Stars are strung through my soul
as I try to keep myself in the corner of my eye.
This bus maybe going downtown
but I couldn't feel any closer to heaven

Look me in the eye, won't you?
Or just give me a faint smile
Let me discover all of you
even if it takes me a lifetime
In this bus, I see only the two of us
Inch your hand closer to mine
I promise I am not a Succubus
Let me take off this veil
from my heart.
Hold it. It was beating for you anyway
If you're my true love;
we shall never part
You're no angel yet I can see your halo.
We are not trapped in the dark.
Together,we can chase rainbows.

Now that we have our hands intertwined
could the same be done for our hearts?
Believe me, it won't disturb the Ma'at.
Just two hearts beating together
connected by the truth's feather
just stay there, let green meld into brown
let me turn that frown upside down

I wait for when a second outweighs the day,
so that we'll have the wishes we hoped we may
Like dancing in the rain with fiery hearts
that connect be put out,or torn apart
An unbridled joy that forever interlocks
the fibres of our souls, as we forget of clocks.
Ma'at : Egyptian personification of Balance. Feather of truth:it was often worn by Ma'at

Aerial: Male voice.most of it is written by Frank,just a few sentences by me.
Italic: Female voice. I don't even remember who wrote what so I'll leave it to you to guess!
final part of my collab 'Solumate boulevard' with Frank! He is so sweet and talented *virtually high-fives him*
Go,stalk him! I meant go high-five him...
http://hellopoetry.com/frank-ruland/
Dec 2014 · 2.3k
she swings
axr Dec 2014
she swings
thinking about her tomorrow
she swings
to get away from her sorrow
she swings
while her master is away
she swings
to get away from her fate
she swings
not laughing
she swings
discreetly as they continue fighting
she swings
knowing that she is reckless
she swings*
*counting seconds to her death
this is about child labour. in my country, child labour is still prominent. the other day, i saw an underage babysitter,no more than 13 years of age swinging on the swing while the kid continued to play elsewhere. her expression,her tears and empathy drove me to write this.
might add more later
Dec 2014 · 1.1k
the kill
axr Dec 2014
it was buzzing
near the lights
i wanted to take the life out if it
but i waited

"Patience pays"

i waited
i turned off the lights
and went on to take a shower
i came back
and saw it cringing on the floor
his wings managing to flutter but not strong enough to lift him up.
took my Adidas
and hit him hard
*I was satisfied with the ****.
this is about killing a bee in my room
axr Dec 2014
Seeing him sit across me wasn't awkward
In this life we all moved forward
He was protected by the mist no one saw through
won't talk to him
it will only add fire to the fuel.
His eyes were the green pools of curiosity,
under the ocean, trapped in weeds.

She won't seem to make eye contact...
Won't allow brown and green meld,
if only for a second.
Green and brown...
Like summer leading into autumn;
my soul flowing into hers.
I can feel it, or atleast
imagine it.

He's looking at me,
but why?
I'd like to look back,but
these ghostly inhibitions
keep me from wandering.
Too many memories
barring my imagination

I can sense some anguish
emanating from her soul;
a lack of control.
Pains aplenty? Scars,surreal?
Just what is this discomfort I feel?
I can see battlefields in her eyes--
Maybe...talking,I could try?

Carry yourself to the farthest ocean
for I cannot bear your soul so close to mine
so that we may never see the same stars,
I'd wish you close, only to walk away
Heaven, send me an angel
to quell my demons
come crashing down
I shall look back with eyes filled with tears
won't open myself to show my fears*

Her everything is exactly what I need
to pull myself away from these depths I'm drowning.
Her hands could be my wings,
and I could fly to cleaner heights,
were we are perched upon brighter horizons
My second collaboration with the amazing Frank Ruland! he is unbelievably talented and I am so happy with the way this poem came out!
This took us a real long while to write, but was worth it! :)
This is just the first part, second one coming out soon

here's the link to Frank's profile, send him lifetime supply of chocolate!
I meant go read his work(walks away awkwardly)
http://hellopoetry.com/frank-ruland/
Dec 2014 · 1.1k
you
axr Dec 2014
you
I see the malevolence in your eyes
You hate to lose.
You are the one who wins the fight.
I love the mischievous grin you wear while playing
Talk about all the masters,
now they're failing.
started off young
burning with passion
what a perfect child you were
Life's been teaching you its lessons
Your eyes,
warm brown,
filled with competitiveness
you don't let anyone see you frown.
It's game time now,
and your eyes are fixated on the board
you move those pieces
and higher you soar.
Take all of 'em down and crush the opponent's fate
Check mate!
If you didn't figure it out already- this is about Magnus Carlsen. Though, I don't play chess, I am weirdly attracted to him.
*dramatic sigh* celebrity crushes
Dec 2014 · 11.8k
Queen of Procrastination
axr Dec 2014
she ruled kingdoms three
the land were prisoners roam free
she spent her time staring at walls
making worlds which would never fall

the chieftain came in and bowed at her feet
'My Queen,the enemy has left us no option -
surrender or retreat.'
Aghast,bewildered and tensed she paced the court
'Oh dear! did they sink our boat?'
'Your majesty, will you please tell how to act in such a situation?'
'You fool! how am I supposed to answer when I am the Queen of Procrastination!'
Dec 2014 · 12.9k
of beaches,blood and fangs
axr Dec 2014
we were walking on the beach,hand in hand
red streaks covered the sky
just like the blood in our fights
it was time to bare our fangs
Dec 2014 · 1.3k
Je ne regrette rien
axr Dec 2014
Come,
kiss me
hard
and you shall test revenge.
put your hand o'er my heart
and you'll hear the beat to which Lillith's children dance
Let me drain all the blood from your body
oh,c'mon! you don't need to be sorry
allow me to carve a smile across your face
and when they find you,
I shall fade.
Oh non, rien de rien
Oh non, je ne regrette rien

You left a hollow space in my heart
but darling, you can't undo the past.
you screamed in pain
of language I knew not a trace
Regrets? I have not one.
I was your angel who shone in the sun
but now, I am the ruler of your demons
Translation
Oh non rien de rien
Oh non,je ne regrette rien

Oh no,no regrets
Oh no,i have no regrets
axr Dec 2014
always called a forever alone
i watched all of their love stories turn to gold
so write me a poem
tell me what's it about
a relationship,
infatuation,
love story,
heart break.
*tell me
use the hashtag #THECHALLENGE(because i am really really bad at hash tags)
or inbox me :)
spread the word! k bye.
Nov 2014 · 6.7k
happy thoughts
axr Nov 2014
Think happy thoughts
Think happy thoughts
Think happy thoughts*
she told herself over and over again
as she descended into the abyss of darkness
Nov 2014 · 735
the truth about love
axr Nov 2014
love doesn't hurt,
sweetheart.
teenage infatuation does
you may disagree with me on this. will brb on this
Nov 2014 · 1.9k
cold
axr Nov 2014
i don't know if my outsides are cold
or inside.
this heart always shivers
when it hears a name.
i am a body which never felt warmth
i am someone who controls their wrath.
i see the enemy with the coward's heart on their cloth
even when i am cold
every battle is meant to be fought.
*deep breath*
my hands and feet are always cold even though i do not live in a cold region. as far as my parents can remember,  my hands and feet were cold since i was about two.  
a lot of people have been noticing it recently as well
so yeah i wrote a poem about it because i can.
Nov 2014 · 2.0k
bleed
axr Nov 2014
Go ahead, stab me,
break me, shatter me,
cut me out.
In the end,
I will bleed on the paper
Nov 2014 · 1.1k
Dear Earth
axr Nov 2014
Dear Earth,
You were once so beautiful,
you still are
You know that I prefer to call you Gaia,
Mother of Titans,giants and heavenly gods
I believe I can tell you everything
after all, I am your child.
I don't know how I feel about him
it's been a year since I fell for him
it's been six months since I promised myself that I will move on.
I didn't.
I don't talk to him anymore, but the thought of being with a wonderful person like him is just something which I can't let go off.
We are opposites, Mother
I play with words and experiment with melodies
He plays with melodies and experiments with words.
He doesn't feel the same way,
he told me that.
He is possessive, led by his dreams
and I wish him nothing but the best
I don't see us together anymore
but he still haunts my head
*why?
I didn't plan on having an emotional breakdown while writing this.
Nov 2014 · 2.8k
they came with guns
axr Nov 2014
They were masked
with obedience of terrorism on their lips
shoot people mercilessly
played with their souls
in their eyes, no sign of remorse
that dreaded night
when Mumbai cried rivers of blood
death toll increasing with the politicians giving zero *****
ten men killed approx 164
so many injured
so many scarred
lest we forget them from our hearts
martyrs left a legacy
they were many other than Salaskar, Kamte and Unnikrishnan
They played with blood in
Taj, Oberoi, Cama Hospital, Nariman House, CST and Leopold Café
their minds were moulded to be like this.
the innocent tried to hide in hotel lobbies
she watched her husband die
and then she died a silent death
they shot her unborn child
they ignored the infant's cry
they killed humanity
they came with guns
tied their hostages to a pole
and had fun.
The bomb exploded
shattering all their body parts
nothing but chunks of human flesh here and there
the innocent hid themselves in a room
took up the phone and fumbled words
they found the innocent
and...nothing.
the phone line went dead
6 years later,
we still can't forget
Today marks the 6 years since the 26/11 attacks in Mumbai. Proper justice was never served.
read more here
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008_Mumbai_attacks
Nov 2014 · 787
me and the dancer
axr Nov 2014
I met a dancer once
She looked at me with her twinkling eyes
ready as a bird for her flight
She moved swiftly
like water reaching the shore
She came to me and asked
if I'll catch her when she falls
but she is so elegant with what she does
how could she ever fall?
'Sometimes, it happens J. Now wait for my call'
she moved gracefully
destroyed imaginary barriers
Kicked her demons away
I met her out of luck.
She then danced to the beat of my words
Nov 2014 · 1.5k
Poetry is for...
axr Nov 2014
'Poetry is for emos!'
screamed a prosaic once
Don't worry,
he's dead now
I shot him with my gun
which is made from words
'Poetry is for the beautiful minds'
Someone once said
'No, silly! Poetry is for the scarred soul'
replied a maiden
'Poetry is for people like me!'
screamed Mr.R
'No happiness but chests filled with money!'
'Poetry is my hobby.'
said a future entrepreneur
'Poetry is for the one dealing with loss'
said the scientist
'I don't care about poetry, How often do you floss?'
said my dentist.
'Poetry is dumb.'
said the misanthrope
'Poetry makes me think about him'
said the victim of infatuation
I cleared my throat and spoke to clear the confusion
'You're wrong to say poetry ain't fun
poetry is for everyone
'
thoughts.
comment below and tell me what do you think of this. might add more later
Nov 2014 · 1.9k
cry
axr Nov 2014
cry
Why cry?
When angels are meant to die
System of a down - Chop Suey
Nov 2014 · 1.5k
inked bodies
axr Nov 2014
in 1 bed
there lay 2 inked bodies
she was filled with pictures
and all of them seemed to mingle perfectly
the eagle on her neck, the hourglass on her waist
He continued looking at her
her soft features,
how every tattoo was a piece by a different artist
but they all were perfect

He was filled with words
and oh, how beautiful he looked in them
the ink flowed in his skin to form various words
Many of them said he might come back stronger than ever
Some were a gentle reminder of loved ones
"Not a single cover up in all these years"
he would flaunt them to her.
She would giggle in response

in 1 bed
lay 2 inked bodies
with 1 heart beating
I got this idea immediately after a nap.
Please comment your thoughts,  I would love to hear them. xo
axr Nov 2014
Go on girl, use all of that photoshop to cover up your blemishes, dark circles and what not.
We all know that you're ugly inside.
Nov 2014 · 21.4k
Fangirl's lust
axr Nov 2014
'I am a *****.' she realised as she closed the book
The people whom she wanted to **** were inside the book
Been there..
Nov 2014 · 1.7k
Angel
axr Nov 2014
Take your fake wings back
God knows that I don't want to be an angel
inspired by my undying love for rammstein and their song 'Engel'
here are the lyrics
http://en.affenknecht.com/lyrics/rammstein-engel-lyric-with-english-translation/
Nov 2014 · 2.2k
Russian Sleep Experiment
axr Nov 2014
tick-tock
they must not sleep
tick-tock
now they talk about their broken dreams
tick-tock
now one of them screams
tick-tock
they are turning violent!
tick-tock
can they not survive the gas stimulant?
tick-tock
his vocal cords are torn!
tick-tock
God forbid,  if one of them becomes his clone!
tick-tock
The others don't react
tick-tock
They know they are getting monitored,  they don't wanna go back
tick-tock
We don't want to be freed, they said
tick-tock
On their own skins they fed
tick-tock
they killed soldiers six
tick-tock
the doctors do not have a fix
tick-tock
All 5 of them seemed pleasured by the pain
tick-tock
For this mystery,  who was to be blamed?
tick-tock
few of them died on the operation table
tick-tock*
they were all our monsters
covered by the illusion
inspired by a creepypasta i read today,  its called Russian Sleep Experiment
I am too terrified to post the link to that D:
Also, leave your comments below as this is my first horror piece, ever.
Nov 2014 · 1.1k
17 November 2014, 17:10
axr Nov 2014
I don't know how many of my brothers have died
I never met them
Nov 2014 · 9.8k
Gaia
axr Nov 2014
I hate this air which are compelled to breathe
We are trapped in the clutches of pollution
If I don't breathe this air
I will die
but now that I am breathing this air
I am dying
Gaia will poison us all
for what we did to her
oh **** sorry we have oxygen tanks, i could always use that.
on a serious note, we all should be worried about the pollution in the world. i don't need to present you with the evidence of what global warming is doing to mankind.
We are the evidence of what global warming is doing to mankind
I am no 5th grader who is chanting slogans to save this planet, i am no environmentalist, or the leader of some 'SAVE MOTHER EARTH' club. Just a human who is trying to make the world a better place
Gaia : Greek goddess of earth.
Nov 2014 · 1.3k
Dementor
axr Nov 2014
Dark, thin figures
floating in the sky
eating away every bite of happiness
no enough time to let out a cry
letting the darkness close in
until you're hollow
they are free
with no one to follow
I am emotionless, I will consume you
I dance on the grounds of Azkaban
no eye sockets, a hollow mouth and scabbed grey skin
Allow me, to come closer
and give you a kiss

My very existence seems to displease you
you alter the air with negativity
I shall fight you back
But I have no limbs!
I hover above the ground
I will through you in an ocean
so deep
that you cannot swim

I won't let your negativity blind me
Quit boasting your inane abilities
Let me summon my Patronus
and I will rise with chivalry
E X P E C T O  P A T R O N U M!
Watch my Dragon drive you away
You filth of an amortal creature
Now I shall eat some chocolate to cleanse the stain
it gets better
Nov 2014 · 3.1k
our secrets
axr Nov 2014
We live in the same house
but we're buried under our secrets
Nov 2014 · 5.2k
QUIT ROMANTICISING SMOKING
axr Nov 2014
There is nothing romantic or beautiful about smoking
Smokers out there are aware about their bodies being harmed because of cigarettes
I know people who have ruined their lives because of smoking
now could you please stop romanticising this thing because it is ******* ******* me off.
i just read some poems here which romanticise smoking..
axr Nov 2014
"Wake up!, it's six thirty already!"
I groan and get out of the bed
only to know that she woke me an hour early
mom y u do dis
Nov 2014 · 935
sweet solitude
axr Nov 2014
My solitude is;
my own sweet hell
this could be a part 2 to my poem my own sweet hell (http://hellopoetry.com/poem/671075/my-own-sweet-hell/)
but i could be playing
Nov 2014 · 829
people
axr Nov 2014
they never cried tears of happiness.
they write with sadness.
a lot of you can relate to this. .i guess
Nov 2014 · 1.3k
Player of words
axr Nov 2014
I am a player of words.
I will be the the one to grab you by the neck first
but I might show sympathy on you
kick you in the shins and call you a fool.

My pen can do wonders
crush kingdoms, **** children, point out your blunders.
It takes a movement of my hand to change it all
fulfill your dreams, defy science's laws
I can make your lover infertile
make you an illegitimate child
send you to the most brutal fight
or present you with the Nobel prize.
I can make you a part of a dirt poor family
I can make you live your life without a tragedy.
I can make you an old hunchback
who has seen failure
I can make you the knight
in his shiny armour
I can push you off the cliff from which you hanged
or give you a nice pair of fangs.

Oh yes, I am nefarious.
write words which are a mystery or hilarious.
I would rule this place if I had asked for it first,
I am a player of words.

I have painted your world in different colours
cheered for you when you got the medal of valour
I killed your favourite character? Go figure!
I can make you turn into someone else at full moon
I can torture the ones who were your muse
I can build a world of my own
Not taken down by any force
The fire in my veins cannot be extinguished
I will present you with people between whom you cannot distinguish
I can bathe in the tears of my readers
Don't underestimate words
through your spine they can send shivers.



They see me as danger
to trouble, I am no stranger
there is no extent to my freedom
I am half angel, half demon
I have had my mind drift away to places
I have made friends with the one with scarred faces
danced on waves,  sang in deserts
all of this can't be done in reverse
I have killed you using shells
I often write to vent.
I often **** the things which you clenched.
I hold onto your soul and the boredom you munched
isn't all of this fun?
I could be queen if i asked for it first
the world calls me an introvert
and
The player of words
Nov 2014 · 1.3k
reflection
axr Nov 2014
i look in the mirror
i see sunken eyes
parched lips
irritated skin
stained teeth
an embarrassing body
years of fighting myself
faded scars

i see
perfection in my *imperfections
All physical characteristics  described here are mine.
These words too are mine.
Nov 2014 · 718
when i write
axr Nov 2014
i dance
i move
i sing
all when i write
Nov 2014 · 8.0k
zakham(HINDI POEM)
axr Nov 2014
zakhamon ki batein in na karo
bahut chotein pahuchai hai tumne
maram lagane kind koshish na karo
hum nahi ban sake farishtey

maine tumhare aakhon ke andar ki aandhi dekhi hai
maine tumhari saans ginni hai
kya pata ki main kis din mar jaaon?
aapki galtiyon ki bare mein main kya batao?
saanse gin kar mein kabhi nahi thaki
taare, grah jo chaho le aaon
kitne baar maafi magun?
jab meri galti thi nahi

aaj thand bahut hai
saans lene mein taqlif hai
ab maram lagane ki koshish na karo
mein idhar ***, mujhe marte hue dekho.
first hindi piece in years. Should i post a transltion?
Translation
Don't talk about injuries
you have hurt me a lot.
Don't try to heal me
We can't become angels

i have seen the storm in your eyes
i have counted your breathes
who knows when i shall die
i am no one to point out your mistakes
never been tired from counting your breath
stars, planets,whatever you want, i shall bring it you.
how many more times should to apologise to you when i am not to blamed

its cold today
i am having trouble breathing
now, dont try to heal me
i am here, watch me die.
Nov 2014 · 832
My perfect man
axr Nov 2014
My perfect man
Shall know all about my past
and refuse to judge me about it.

My perfect man
Shall know about my obsessions
But by no means Jesse Pinkman and Aaron Paul will spoil our relationship.

My perfect man
Doesn't need to have six abs
Or a tall build
But that doesn't mean he chooses an unhealthy lifestyle

My perfect man
Should be able to make me laugh
Should be able to hold me when I cry
Should know that I am one of the most shy humans on this planet
Should know that I will always love him
Should know that I can sing songs to him in my raspy voice
Should know that if he is trying to play
His heart is the one which goes for the ****.
*extra
My perfect man
Should be the child of Hephaestus and Esperanza Valdez
should know more code
And build an amazing fire breathing dragon
Have curly black hair and deep brown eyes to get lost into
Take my breath away whenever he comes in my way
I am talking about the one and only Leo Valdez
Oct 2014 · 1.9k
i am a poet(20w)
axr Oct 2014
I am a poet,darling
My ammunition are pen and papers.
I know ******* you
with metaphors
axr Oct 2014
'Sola! J, why are your poems so depressing?'
Oh for the love of Tartarus, prosaic. Will you please shut up?
I am sick of people telling me on why can't the characters in my poem 'be happy'.
My work shows you the dark side of the world. I have had my fair share of inspirational and motivational poems but again, it's my work,  my thought process and I shall do whatever the hell I want with it.
Oct 2014 · 3.8k
Constellations
axr Oct 2014
You are like a constellation in the sky.
So far
yet
so close.
I long to touch you
only to know
that I will burn.
A mystery I long to solve
The longer follow you
the more I get lost.
The more I gaze at you
I see the lost parts of you.
You are like a constellation in the sky
beautiful from a distance
but
ugliness of fire inside.
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