Thoughts that drift off into thoughtless.
Thoughtless,
I'm lost to the the darkness

I have no feeling
Deaf, blind, mute, tasteless seething

I'm lost, but I'm believing
Believing?
Oh yes, I'm still believing in you.

exhaustion
drifting through our days
taping eyes open
shaking ourselves awake
all this starvation and deprivation
of today's nation
yearning for another minute of shut-eye
while staying up staring at screens
late at night

Ugly ugly ugly
I can only assume
How you think of me
While I lay naked in our room
I'm hungry
Starving
For a touch
Of strength and admiration
Ugly ugly ugly
This is deprivation
Ugly ugly ugly
I beg to please you
Every touch seems new
4 years of cold
I've been waiting in our room
Ugly got ugly
And I'm only left to assume
Ugly ugly ugly
Your attraction to me is doomed

I was not fed love on a silver spoon
Never have I ever tasted it
Thus, many questions runs in my mind
All due to curiosity of deprivation

Did love tasted sweet? was it addictive?
Was it never bitter to the taste?
I am clueless of it, for I was neglected
I grew not knowing how love tasted when spoon fed

But all this is a thing of the past now
A yesterday's misery
A mind once hungry of information
It is nothing but an unfortunate memory

Now I have learned to lick it off a knife
The taste of sweet love along with my blood
The pain is mixed with pure ecstasy
I savor it and close my eyes, I dream of heaven

It has became my new drug
I care not for myself as long I could taste love
This is the only self-destruction I have wished for
I accept it wholly, I give my heart to it

When sad, empty eyes chance to rest upon
Other eyes fixed in a hopeless gaze,
What sweet fantasies overrun the mind--
Navigating love's enchanting maze

How the pulse quickens when love is the prize,
Like dried kindling, hope begins to burn;
But what pain when one heart greedily feasts,
And for the other shows no concern

What a dilemma when only one heart
Lights the darkness with love's burning flame;
Merciless anguish does not spare the rod
When Love's endeavor is put to shame

For what is the mainstay of caring hearts
If not love that's given in return?
Just as a candle's flame must extinguish
When there remains no wick left to burn

I've heard it said love begets love, and yet
Love's hunger still courses through my veins;
So my starving heart forages for crumbs
In Love's graveyard of decaying  remains

Unrequited love always takes its toll --
A forbidding toll each heart must pay;
Love cannot survive without sustenance,
Weakened by neglect, it fades away

You don't talk
but your eyes speak
Powerful words
that make me weak

I miss your touch
it has been a week
This sensory punishment
is your worst technique

You are not like the rain
You never teased my skin
Planting ideas in my head
That grew roots in my heart
The acid Dripping from your tongue,
You burnt me.

The storm raged

The waters haven't calmed since.
I felt love, I Feel love, I bleed hurt
And long for a tsunami
To sweep me from this nightmare.
Come back
Break my skin
Please
Show me what it feels like to love again.
Let me dance in the toxicity
And bathe in the poison
Your scent
Your fumes
Paint
Dirt
Home
A fresh rain falls
I'm drawn back in

Let me drown