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I can fix this.
I’m always so terrified

That I will fall from the sky
And my wings will snap
Helpless to medicine and hope

Icarus and I (fall from the sky)
We burn
Chasing sunlit warmth
Suspended by devices devised of self-preservation
Crumbling before our eyes
That we can’t hold together anymore

These devices are needless

Let go and hold on

Trust the fall

See how I fly.

Putting together a patchwork home
Watching the water carve out the stone
Getting much better at being alone
Because I’m not.

Not broken but not fixed yet.
And I know now that hurting is healing
And I see the world pass on below me
And I won’t fall

So I soar.
I have fallen before.
I am still
Despite of not because.

I will fall.
And I will fly.

Crash landing,
I kiss the Earth.
I started this poem when I was inspired by hearing "Do Not Wait" by Wallows for the first time, kinda fun :)
Hammra Sistur Aug 28
AFTEr
           noon
           is home,               again

          its bEEn a     l o    n     g
          day

         of lunch breaks
traffic
                                      swimmers
   ­                                   at
                           ­           the beach and children
                                      ,  singing school's over


bright pink clouds come ROLLIng
                                                      in,­ she hangs
                                      her scarf upon the nail

and climbs the stairs. ..


                                     (please sleep through
                                      the night
                                     )/middle daughter
        of }perfe}ct
                                    w
                          ­          o
                                    R
               ­                     l
                                    d   s
Hammra Sistur Aug 27
9
this NIGHT
⠀⠀⠀ is d%issolvin.g⠀(in
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀to)(
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀ 1}
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ 2} a harsh han⠀⠀d of          v
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀i
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀g
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀­⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀o
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ r,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 3}
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
]: radium⠀⠀b i r⠀ d⠀⠀⠀s
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀*****
⠀⠀⠀⠀the
⠀⠀⠀⠀water's
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀­⠀⠀⠀⠀ fresh coat of painted
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ night
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
a c/ross
⠀ the skin oF a ) kissless converSation
concerning
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀a
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ car failing
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀to
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ use a
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀turn signal
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ while changing⠀l a⠀n⠀ e⠀⠀s
Hammra Sistur Aug 27
8
⠀⠀⠀⠀ the            is
⠀⠀⠀ void            filled
⠀between⠀⠀⠀⠀ neatly
⠀⠀⠀ each            with
⠀⠀ breath⠀⠀⠀⠀ each
⠀⠀⠀⠀ life⠀⠀ ⠀   ones
⠀⠀⠀takes⠀⠀⠀⠀ dreams,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀love
Hammra Sistur Aug 27
7
rains
tenderly blot
out our attempts
to remember
the
torn edged⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀moments
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ as sunny days
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
when they were not
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ world,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ quill up
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ our
⠀⠀⠀                           ⠀sensibilities
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ muddled
⠀⠀⠀⠀    choking sunrises have
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ promise, too
Hammra Sistur Aug 26
6
(there are)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ times
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ oh baby,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ that you will wake up
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀a
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀­⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀d
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
want. to love the
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀w
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀o
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ r
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ l
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀d
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
and- some days everything is ****.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀i
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀know
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀...
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀­⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀well remember,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀this and the
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(most) black
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀night
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀will
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀end
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀­⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀w
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀h
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀e
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀you want it to
maya cahill Apr 24
one
one cut
two cut
three cut
four
i watch the blood drip from my wrists to the floor

five cut
six cut
seven cut
eight
the blood flowing and rushing makes me feel faint

nine cut
ten cut
eleven cut
twelve
cut for a little then cry some more

thirteen cut
fourteen cut
fifteen cut
sixteen
the blood is starting to show through my jeans

seventeen cut
eighteen cut
nineteen cut
twenty
pain is the only thing i feel

fifty-nine
seventy-six
eighty-three
ninety-nine
i'm starting to lose track

one-hundred
i've finally decided to end it all and pick up the gun
Carisa Apr 17
Past

Imagine a trailer

The smell of **** fills the closed walls

A women most would call mom

Sits in a haze screaming at her reflection

She's here but she isn't

Her body is here

Her head isn’t

Noxious chemical odors

Burn the eyes

A young girl

Two older boys

Sit and watch

Looking at my brother

He looks at me

So young

Our older brother gone

Eyes blood red

Scratches cover his arms

Daddy didn’t like him very much

Daddy didn’t like any of us very much

But that’s okay. He's gone now

Blue lights are American

Blue lights took him

Blue lights are bad

brother whispers in the dark

But they made daddy gone

So they can’t be that bad

Looking at mommy

She’s quiet now

She’s my future

She is American

I look just like her

Can’t talk

So hungry

But shhh don’t whine

Or mommy will wakeup

She’s my future daddy said to me looking at mommy

Daddy didn’t like any of us very much

Were an American family

Mommy screams. Daddy’s mad

I'm mute. Twin brother is sad

Older brother is high

Blue lights are bad

These things I know

Replaying in my head

I am American

This is

My past.

My present.

My future.






Future

Years later I'm in elementary.

Birth mom didn’t want me.

She took my brothers

She left me

But that’s okay now

Because I’m better.

I'm in school

Were American  

All the kids talk

I can only say

The first three letters

In the alphabet

My voice hurts

Everyone is kind

So much different

Than what iv always known

Adults are American

Adults are patient

They aren’t gonna hurt me

Still, I hide when they yell

When a hand raises I flinch

But it's okay now

Because I'm better

I have a family now

We are an American family

Mom doesn’t hate me

Daddy holds my hand

Teachers speak kindly

I don’t know what they say

I don’t understand their words

But it's okay now

Because I'm better

I'm American

Years later and here I am

I'm in high school

I understand the words

Well at least most of them

Friends surround me

I'm happy now

I'm better now

My baby brothers

Are my light

My younger sisters

Are my path

My friends

Make me smile

I look at my mom

Her long blond hair

She’s happy

Daddy loves her

I don’t look like her

Her blood isn’t in my blood

But my future looks like her

With a home and children

Happiness and a partner

I won’t be like my birth mom

I can do better

I can be better

I will have a better future

Birth mom and dad might

Have given me a bad past

But my mom and dad

Have given me what

Most don’t have a

Better future.

My past is bad

My present is better.

My future will be good.
She's here but she isn't.
Alex Mars Feb 26
To all the kids with hell inside their head,
This one is for you
I know what you are feeling right now,
The worst place for anxiety is the doctor's office,
Right?
You are scared they will weigh you
They might see the result of the empty
Paranoia tells you they will judge you for your number on the scale
Depression says you won’t have to do it again,
It says you’ll be gone by next year
You know the doctor might look at your wrists
And if they do…
You will get help
You can have someone be paid to care about you
Having hell inside your head hurts
No matter what they say it doesn't shut up
You can yell
But not over the noise
You can fly
But not over the memories
You can die
But then you come back into the real world
This is one of my less dark poems, just putting that out there
Millie Aug 2019
Like a spider
Weaving an endless web
Sometimes disturbed by the wind
Time works itself out
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