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You were small once.
With wide eyes.

You saw the world.
In an array of colours.

In another life.
You'd be a great inventor.

Instead you grew.
Too fast.
Too soon.

You were born.
To make mistakes.

If only you knew.
If only you flew.

To the world.
You became a flaw.

Your  life was jinxed.
From the beginning.

You weren't born a fighter.
Yet became one in chaos.

You lost everything.
You lost everyone.

Will they ever understand?
All you ever was trying to do?
Was help?

They'll never understand.
The reason you became,
Something else.

I overslept again today.
Terrified of living life.

Too afraid.
To chase the sun.

I wish on the stars.
To play their part.

Wondering if I will ever be,
Good enough?

To live the life I've always dreamed.
Instead of falling fast asleep.

There's no room for me to breathe.
Suffocating and sabotaging.

The life I want for the life I don't.
Wasting away another day.

Running on empty.
Will it always be this way?

Instead I'll fall fast asleep.
Dreaming of what my life could be.

You'll linger.
Like a bad smell.

Like a ghost.
Haunting my mind.

You'll hide.
In every corner.

Never seize to exist.

Memories will play on repeat.
Memories will play on repeat.
Memories will play on repeat.

You see once you touch a person.
They'll never ever leave you alone.

Hurt people will hurt people.
That's just the  way life goes.

You'll linger like a bad smell.
You'll linger like a ghost.

Once you mark somebody.
You mark them forever,

I guess you didn't know.
I guess you never cared.

Just how much touch.
Would sting my skin.
Would scorch my mind.

Memories will play on repeat.
Memories will play on repeat.
Memories will play on repeat...

I wish there was a  rewind.
Instead I'll settle for a pause.

Knowing you can't get to me.
At least not now not anymore.

They'll call her ruin.
They'll call her shame.

They'll never call her,
by her name.

Once the deed is done.
Her world it shakes.

As all her secrets.
Are laid out bare.

There is no hiding.
This ruined girl.

They'd call her pretty.
They'd call her smart.
They'd call her art.

Till she fell in love
Then fell apart.

The man he ran.
Like most men do.

Escaping the wreckage.
Of his youth.

The ruined girl,
was left alone.

Becoming a cautionary tale.
Of women's woes.

Whispering through history.
"Be careful with whom you love."

It could have been different.
Don't you think?

If we never lived.
The lives we did.

If fate didn't have other plans.
If death didn't take a vacation.
If one thing changed our direction.

We could be indescribable.
We could be unrecognizable.

Trapped in another time.
Destined to never meet.

It could have been different.
Somehow we could have changed.

Never be who we were meant to.
Doomed to forever stay the same.

Fate is funny like that.
Still we wonder.

Only in another life.
Things would be better.

You never asked.
For this burden.

To be their salvation.
To salvage the light.

You grew up in the dark.
Yet you never dulled your spark.

They look to you for answers.
They look to you for hope.

You nurturer you're mind.
Found another way of life.

You learned long ago.
Not everyone can be saved.

Still somehow.
You hope.
You're wrong.

You are a boy.
You are a saviour.

Finding the faintest light.
To keep the spark of hope.
Alive.

In another universe.
Things would be so new.

There wouldn't be a me.
Without having a you.

We'd have the things we crave.
Our stomachs would be full.

There would be so much laughter.
There would be so much chatter.

Your smile would've never dimmed.
Your eyes would've never darkned.

We'd be a family.

There would be a fully set table.
There would be a fully set house.

Nothing would ever be fixed.
As nothing would be broken.

You would have stayed you.
I would have stayed me.

Now we are worlds apart.
Now we are left alone.

All I have are memories.
Even in time they fade.

There is no alternate universe.
And it's killing me everyday.

We will always be sisters.
We will never be the same.

My heart will always ache.

I've played with demons.
As the bright light dwindled.

Got burned by their lies.
I was the moth to their flame.

Dancing with the darkness.
Without a warning sign.

It seemed chaos.
Was my only vice.

Maybe I asked for it.
Just this time.

They took me in.
They spat me out.

Made a home out of my bones.
Made me bleed with a smile.

Some would say I'm tragic.
Some would say I'm manic.

That I'd take a nightmare.
More than I'd take living.

I guess the demons in my dreams.
Are also hidden angels underneath.

As they save me from this aching reality.

I brought my favourite drink.
One you once told me not to.

You were just a stranger then.
Not even one of my closest friends.

It's funny how the fizz.
Reminded me of you.

Then again you told me,
Lots of things.
That became untrue.

You shook me up.
So good.

So much so.
I wish I could forget.
The way you taste.

Instead I'll ***** the cap back on.
To stop the fizzing and frothing.

Bottle you up.
With my sinking emotions.
So that you drowned the way.
I did.

When you first kissed my lips.

Love me for the first time.
Baby.

Love me like.
It's the last breath you'll breathe.

Keep me in your pocket.
So you never lose sight,
Of me.

Don't know what I'd do.
Without you.

Maybe I'd be lost.
Trapped in my fears.
Left broken in tears.

Love me like the first time.
Baby.

Love me like you'll never leave.
I only see myself through you.

You made me believe.
In a different dream.

So love me like the first time.
Never let it go.
Never let it die.

Just hold me like it's the last time.

Some girls like silver.
Others like gold .

What if the girl.
Who likes silver.
Has never believed she deserves gold.

It's too shiny.
Too bright.
Draws too much attention.

It's golden like the sun.
Yet she wants to hide like the moon.
Just the way girls in silver do.

The girl in gold.
Shines too bright.
The spotlight on her all of the time.
As they say she's too much.

What if the girl in gold and one in silver.
Knew that they were like the sun and moon?

Destined to be seen.
Destined to be heard.

Like the stars aligning and universe shifting.
What if they both knew?
That they deserved to take turns in the light of day too?

Sometimes you're a footnote.
Others can refer to.

Other times you're lucky enough.
To be a whole entire chapter.

Some people go.
So they turn into a page.

As they wonder why.
They're not mentioned,
Again by name.

Other people's stories.
Will stay estranged from you.

While others will weave,
Their way into your world.

We are all just living stories.
Wanting to be heard.
Needing to be seen.

Trying to find a home.
Among the margins.
Of life.

We are all just stories.
With something to say.

That we are here.
Even if it was just,
For a chapter or two.

We all become stories.
At the end of the day.

This house has never known silence.

Mostly the walls bounce.
With the sound of  her voice.

My mother has never been,
An even tempered woman.

Sure there are some days that her voice.
It is soft and sweet sounding like honey.

Those are the days everything goes her way.
Those are the days when her wallet is full.
Those are the days the drug fuels her addiction.

This house has never known silence.
If there is peace I have little hope.
I'll ever find it.