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7.4k · Apr 2018
The Never Ending Cycle
Kalliope Apr 2018
Every time I get comfortable
Without you
You show up again.

Every time I get used to sleeping
By myself
You crawl into my bed.

Every time I fall in love
With you,
You leave me again.
The way we love hurts my heart.
4.8k · Jan 2019
My Flamingo
Kalliope Jan 2019
I hope your new life is free
Cool breezes
No stress
I hope you stretch your legs
With no worries
Your pond full of shrimp
Your heart full
I bet your feathers
Are positively pink
And always fluffed
Admiring your admirers
And I hope you know
While you hangout with your flamingo flock
Forgotten, you are not
I miss you
2.5k · Apr 2018
Wasted Seashells
Kalliope Apr 2018
I remember bottling up the beach for you since you've never been.
To you it's just sand.
It was more than just sand to me
1.5k · Jan 2019
Blue Roses
Kalliope Jan 2019
The new year is never happy for me
It marks a new year without you
Another month without a gathering
Another week without a lunch outing
And another day without a phone call

I talk to you still
Less often than when you first left
But every new year I'm sure to catch you up
The kids have gotten so big
My parents have finally matured

I've finally grown up
Can make responsible decisions
Not living purely on my emotions
All of this growth stems from you

It hurts my heart knowing you'll never see any of it
You exist one minute and are nothing the next
1.5k · Dec 2020
Pixelated
Kalliope Dec 2020
What do you do when you don't
Want to break a heart
But the heart in question
Cant actually be broken
Its a facade
Created to break you
Over and over
Again
Block out all emotions
1.5k · Apr 2018
No Cream or Sugar Please
Kalliope Apr 2018
Sometimes when I drink coffee I find myself missing you,
So sometimes I don't drink coffee.
1.4k · Sep 5
Redecorating
Kalliope Sep 5
Carefully removing posters from the wall
But the tape always catches
And rips at the edges,
Never careful enough
And like the tape
I never escape
Without a piece of them
Always with me
1.1k · Jan 2019
Static
Kalliope Jan 2019
I love knowing what red feels like
How painful blue can be
The sting of green
Even the bitterness of jet black

I love myself on days of lilac
And question myself on nights of turquoise
But I can't visualize this empty
My heart hurts
986 · Jan 2019
Kay
Kalliope Jan 2019
Kay
Perpetually lost
Figuratively stuck
Exhaustingly overworked
Disgustingly underpaid
Literally confused
Effortlessly cliche
Beautifully me
Sometimes it be like that
964 · Apr 2018
Small Confessions
Kalliope Apr 2018
I hope someone can heal you,
I'm done trying.
775 · Apr 2018
Brittle Bones
Kalliope Apr 2018
If you broke my arm
I'd still ask you to sign my cast,
And that is why
I must go.
687 · Oct 2018
Head Case
Kalliope Oct 2018
If I could sit you down and make you understand my mind I would
I want to love you
I want to be loved by you
It's not that easy
Relationships are a love triangle
You, me, and my brain
My intrusive thoughts don't know when to shut up
A protective friend
A possessive ex
Always there
Hard to ignore
Eventually you'll grow tired of them popping up
But they can't be blocked
Can't put a restraining order on my mind
Just take my hand
And take some time
Tell me you love me
And it will all be fine
658 · Apr 2019
Epidermal Regeneration
Kalliope Apr 2019
I thought new hands on my skin
would burn
My skin is healthier than ever
I don't feel your fingerprints anymore
645 · Jan 2019
Sea Salt and Vinegar
Kalliope Jan 2019
I'm just a bitter soul
In love with love
And my idealizations
I see your potential
Know what you could be
Push you to be your best
Know what we could be
But at the end of the night
That's not you
And my inbox is still empty
613 · Oct 2018
Brain Blocked
Kalliope Oct 2018
I feel you trying to love me
I see the effort
I feel the effort
It hurts my heart
I'm too ashamed
Too many skeletons
Too many sins
More secrets than I'd care to share
I think you'd accept me
Take me as I am
The issue isn't you
I'm ashamed to be so
Stained
Standing next to your
Immaculate existence
You know when someone deserves better
611 · Apr 2018
friENDships
Kalliope Apr 2018
I've got pictures living in my phone
Of people I haven't checked on in years,
It's weird how long I've been alone.
572 · Sep 7
24/7
Kalliope Sep 7
Your sun has set,
And my butterflies flew away
But even under your moon,
I'm drawn to you like a moth to a flame
Your flame so bright,
With a purplish hue,
I'll try every night,
To get closer to you
569 · Dec 2020
Third Degree
Kalliope Dec 2020
Never will I learn
To stay away from fire
Aware that I will be burned
Yet still I crave its heat
Pass the alocane please
563 · Mar 2019
Seasonal
Kalliope Mar 2019
Temperature rising
I feel I can breathe
Express my emotions
Be happy, at ease
Finally able to think clearly
561 · Nov 2018
Whiskey Day Dreams
Kalliope Nov 2018
I want to forget what I said
But I want to remember how it feels
550 · May 2018
Winnie the Pooh Overalls
Kalliope May 2018
My mother is stronger everyday
Or maybe she's always been
This way
And I'm just now paying attention.

Maybe I'm just now seeing her daily struggles
Understanding her pain
Past and present.

Just now noticing how having a baby
At 16
Changes you forever
Never knowing who she could have been.

Always knowing I ruined chances at her dreams
Not that she would ever say that
But I did.

Every day passing seeing her more tired than yesterday
Working constantly since I can remember
Always being the supporter.

Just now wondering if she ever wonders who will support her
Or how we will function
Without her.

We won't.
It took me 20 years to appreciate my mother
And I'll never take her for granted again.
Our mom's were people before us, and still are someone, aside from a mother, and I don't think we realize that.
523 · Jan 2021
2190
Kalliope Jan 2021
How do you learn to be alone
When you were with me
For all my milestones
How do you move on
When the pain
Is so intertwined
With the pleasure
How do you leave
When what your heart wants
Is to stay
How do you stay when you know that you can't
517 · Aug 21
Chemical Nonetheless
Kalliope Aug 21
I can't tell if you're the
Oxygen
Sustaining my life
Or maybe you're the
Carbon
Trying to take it
Either way
It's time to get you out my system
500 · Jan 2021
It's Raining
Kalliope Jan 2021
Today I will cry
For the you that I wanted
For the you that I saw
For the you that you are
For the you that I loved
For the us that will never be
494 · Aug 22
Panic
Kalliope Aug 22
Heart is racing, skin on fire
Jittering buzzing pacing cussing
Hair is wild, eyes look crazy
Shaking crying mumbling breathing
Face is wet, chest is pounding
Screaming running hiding sobbing
Keep it all inside
The best I can
478 · Aug 26
Frozen Coals
Kalliope Aug 26
My heart a hearth with endless fire,
They always return when they're cold
And I'll give and I'll give,
I have heat to share
But now I feel ice in my bones
Can someone get me a lighter?
473 · Sep 10
Bus Stopped
Kalliope Sep 10
I hang onto your every last word like it's the last bus home at midnight but the driver is inconsistent and now I'm stranded.
Do I wait under the flickering lights
Or
Do I start my walk home alone
472 · Aug 12
Hypoxemia
Kalliope Aug 12
Is it better to have what you want
Or what you need?
This question bothers me every night
Why can't what I need be what I want,
And why can't I want what I need?

Now that I want you
I don't really need you
I need the air that I breathe
But I didn't want it
Until I had you

So maybe I need you after all
And the mind goes round and round and back and forth
468 · Feb 2019
12 feet
Kalliope Feb 2019
Deeper and deeper the further I go
There's no light around me
No room left to grow
My mind is uncertain
My heart set in stone
Deeper and deeper and further from home
468 · May 2019
Out of Ink
Kalliope May 2019
Just a pen and a cap
Made perfectly for each other
Fitting together tightly
But the cap has been chewed on
And no longer fits
Just like plastic
466 · Oct 2018
Spiteful
Kalliope Oct 2018
It must be beautiful to not be jealous
To just feel happiness
And joy for others
Not that small pain
In your stomach
The little shocks
In your brain
The ache
In your heart
Help me please
Or I'll have to leave
My brain won't ease
I don't know what to believe
460 · Apr 2018
Let's Play House
Kalliope Apr 2018
I can't stand you unless you're between my legs.
It's not love but can we just pretend a little longer?
455 · Jan 2019
Through Time
Kalliope Jan 2019
You've got an idea of what life is
What your life should be
It's always been there
Since you were 8
Creating the future with barbies and sims

You turn 15
Your view changes
You're gonna be cool parents
With tattoos and leniency
Married to the guy you just met
You're so in love

You turn 18 now
You decide you don't want this life
Or any life
If it's not the life you pictured
It can't be a happy one
So you pull away from all the things that made you happy

You just turned 28
Surrounded by friends
A decent job
You're smiling, laughing
Reminiscing even
Only remembering the good
Life's weird y'all
450 · Nov 2018
Uno
Kalliope Nov 2018
Uno
Your promises mean nothing
Your words the same
Not quite lies
But never truthful
I don't know how to play this game
You've got me beat
For once I'll say it
I surrender
You win
A handful of cards I don't understand
You have one and know just when to play
447 · Apr 2018
An Addictive Personality
Kalliope Apr 2018
Large doses of you
Were never good for me,
But, I've always loved to
Push my limits.
441 · Apr 2018
They're Blue
Kalliope Apr 2018
I don't know what it feels like to be someone's first choice.
To be a priority.
To be special to someone.
I'm tired of aching for things
That I won't receive.
I'm tired of hurting for people
Who can't even remember
What color my eyes are.
My heart hurts.
439 · May 2018
Guarded in Different Ways
Kalliope May 2018
It's a shame you don't understand
***,
How unfortunate that I can't understand
Love.
437 · Sep 13
Star Reader
Kalliope Sep 13
And I'll look at the sky and search through the stars for validation of this feeling, and when I find the moon I'll think of you and suddenly my heart is reeling,
Do you look to cosmos and wonder where my mind goes when suddenly I am silent?
I'm just lost in your brown eyes hoping you realize that maybe you want this too.
But maybe you won't and I study stars all alone, finding signs that were never really there.
But I've read them constellation for constellation,
Searching for the love we share.
Some nights I find it and others I don't, but I blame that on the clouds, if we can't see it I promise you'll hear it,
My love for you is quite loud.
If you look at the moon
When I look at the moon
Can you feel me?
431 · Oct 11
27
Kalliope Oct 11
27
Another year living, another day gone,
The past isn't giving the wisdom I want.

I'm searching for answers, I lay in the rain, I stare at the moon while I'm begging for change.

My face is now creased, from years of worry, I laugh at my young wish to grow up in a hurry.

The right answers never come, I grieve over wrong choices, I'll stay in my bed berated by these voices.

And it's October, but the leaves are still green, the seasons aren't seasons and I am not me.

Twenty seven I might be, but fourteen I still feel, I look at the life I've built but none of it seems real.
Happy Birthday to you, they shout in my room, but it's just a Friday, and I'm losing my youth.
424 · Jan 2021
Tonic
Kalliope Jan 2021
And in times when she felt so
Alone
Unlovable
Overbearing
She had friends to fight along
Her side
Platonic love is valuable
421 · Apr 2018
Winter Mint
Kalliope Apr 2018
You chewed me up and spit me out
Like the piece of gum you chew
After a cigarette.

She doesn't even know
You started smoking
Again.
421 · Apr 2018
Twenty
Kalliope Apr 2018
****** coffee,
Sleepless nights,
Broken hearts,
And drunken fights.
420 · Apr 2018
Habits Die Hard
Kalliope Apr 2018
I say I attract toxic,
Deep down I think
I crave it.
414 · Jan 2019
Relapse
Kalliope Jan 2019
Every one knows cigarettes and liquor
Are temporary
Rough *** and late drives end as quickly as they began
You stop tripping and rolling once you wake up
How foolish of me to think you were forever
I got a tattoo instead.
411 · Nov 2018
Deep Blue
Kalliope Nov 2018
All the ways I try to fill the void
Seem to make me empty

Funny how shallow needs
Create a shallow soul
I'll continue to sink lower and lower
400 · Apr 2018
Your Lease is Up
Kalliope Apr 2018
I am not your property.
You do not own me.
I choose to stay.

At least that's what I tell myself.
391 · May 2018
Self Destruction
Kalliope May 2018
Every time I get closer
to my goal
I feel myself slipping further
into a hole,
I just want to be a success
But my bad side won't give it a rest.
386 · Oct 2018
Mental Apartment
Kalliope Oct 2018
Everyday I come home
I eat dinner at
My table of selfpity
To watch old memories play on
My television of self doubt
Showering in jealousy and hate
Finally forcing sleep on
My bed of loneliness
Self destructive
I can't stop
Unproductive
I'm just a prop
379 · Sep 3
Kneepads
Kalliope Sep 3
I've begged for you for so long
There's a hole in my carpet
And bruises on my knees
But it doesn't feel wrong
If I bled out for you
You'd only see a mess
377 · Apr 2019
Through the Motions
Kalliope Apr 2019
So I cut my hair
And changed my barbells
Switched out my hoop
And bought new clothes
Rearranged my room
Changed shampoos
But still I feel the same
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