I wasn't meant to love you, no I don't believe in fate. But here I am anyway, convincing myself it wasn't great.
I'm failing, you know, to see you in any other light, I just lay here wishing we could've had one more night.
Your voice was always soothing, and coaxed words out of me unsaid, and now I'm left here desperately trying to pull you from my head.
Your touch I never felt, but my skin will swear I did, your soul reached out to hug me while mine ran and hid.
You don't do second chances, and I never win on the first try, your words are always cold now and all I do is cry.  
My heart breaks that we got here, even though it's my fault, and as I erase our memories, there are a few I'll store in my vault

I don't write very well
I can't find a flow
All over the pages
Every word goes

I don't write very well
The words don't make sense
Sometimes it feels better
To write in past tense

I don't write very well
But I need to express my emotions
And separate my thoughts
From this world's commotions

The feelings I feel are so confusing to me
No matter what I do I can't make them leave
They hit me and yell and scratch till I bleed
Always around, bringing me to my knees
I feel them in my skin, they buzz in my brain
Mentally I'm in the street laid out in the rain
They rip out my nails and tap dents in my collar bones,
Force me back to my room where I just lay all alone,
Darken my eyes, drain the color from my face
The creature now in the mirror I look at with disgrace

I always run to your bed when I'm lonely,
And fifteen minutes later I'm still lonely but at least I'm
satisfied.

It was all real
For a moment
And I was sad
When I woke
But happy to have
Spent an hour with you

Each time you call me dumb
I believe you
a little bit more.
I'm dumb
for loving someone
Who is not capable of
loving me back.

When I close my eyes tightly,
And I do this nightly,
I can hear your voice.
You speak to me softly,
And I think ungodly,
Now I can feel your presence.
A touch I'll never know,
You already let me go,
Doesn't mean I don't miss you.

I'm not good with money, a budget never could manage me, I hate when it's sunny, I prefer rain and a breeze.

I can be silent for days on end, can't even bring myself to sing, easily broken yet hard to bend, my mind is a stubborn thing.

Sometimes I get lost way too deep in my thoughts, have fun trying to guide me away, and I'm sensitive too don't yell in my room, it'll just activate the rage.

And God I get mean, inconsiderate and spiteful, with nowhere to lean, I'll feel my anger is rightful.

My hair clogs the drain, it's long and disarray, you won't get my brain, I cry like every other day.

I can't do my makeup, my eyelids don't shine gold, I'll threaten a break up, the second I feel you're cold.

I'll have the last word, everytime we disagree, I don't know if you've heard, but you shouldn't love me.

Lonely and craving the feel of touch,
The electricity from skin to skin,
The magnetic pull from eye contact,
The I love yous and I miss yous.

But it's a craving best left unfed
To be touched is to be vulnerable and the electricity shocks my brain, the I love yous and I miss yous make me feel insane,
To look at me too long is to pick apart my flaws, and at the end of the day I'm better alone after all.

Better off now than I ever was
Better space, better place

Richer now than I ever was
Richer space, richer place

Safer now than I ever was
Safer space, safer place

Lonelier now than I ever was
Lonely space, lonely place

I've been a thousand women
For a handful of men,
Each act greater than the last
But never enough for an encore.

At the end of the night
When I take off my mask,
Ready to be the one they fall for,
It's only emotional baggage left.

So I'll pack it up
And put it away neatly,
In case they ever return,
And I'll yearn
And I'll wish
And I'll dream
For someone to WANT to
Want to be with me

Restless and stressed over things
I cannot control
I wish I could stand back
And look at things as a whole.

I trace your name on my collar bone,
It feels good on my skin.
Craving you this badly,
Will be my lifelong sin.

She wants me to fail, and I know it.
I'm too intoxicated by her presence to care.

What if I loved
But didn't get obsessed
You like em crazy
And let me undress
But I got too comfy
So blessed in your presence
Now I feel like I'm dying
Drowned in your absence
And I'll call and I'll call
You don't even care
The love you claimed to feel
Was never ******* there
But I fell for you anyway
You became the moon
An all consuming enigma
Gone way too soon
But you'll give me breadcrumbs
And I'll wait here for dinner
You laugh at my pain
I guess at least heartbreak makes me thinner

I can't remember your name but I remember how wrong it felt to let you inside me

And like a kid clumsily sneaking through the house in the dark,
you awakened all of my senses,
turned on every light of my heart,
making messes all along your path.

I wore my heart on my sleeve
For way too many years
And now she is tattered and torn

I still ball up the shreds
And hand them to men
In hopes she won't come back worse

I've shown you all my favorite things,
But you never remember.

I could tell you something yesterday
And you'd act like it had been forever.

Once I wanted to be a party girl,
Now I just wanna be your girl.

I'd keep the walls down but
Everytime I let hope remove the bricks
I take arrows to my chest.

I think it might be best
To keep the concrete high
And nurse my wounds in private this time.

Words are magic, and pretty, and gold
They make you feel good, and timeless, less old
But words are just words, though pretty on paper,
And when action doesn't follow, you feel worse later

I tried to disappear a few times,
You always found me.
I don't know if that makes me
Love or hate you.

When you wouldn't hear my words
I tried to show you with my actions,
You just stopped looking at me.

She spent so many nights wiping off smeared make up she won't even put it on anymore

Whenever I flip my lucky cigarette
I always wish for you.

I want you to love me
In only my way
Your words sound so sweet
But just do as I say

I'm begging you to hold me
Keep up the persistence
I crave your comfort
But remain at a distance

These feelings flow out of the corners of my eyes like river rapids and pool all around me. Every time I think I can come up for air I start to drown again. And I'm searching for anything to keep me afloat but all I see is you, and the waves come crashing again.

I never fully understood why you felt the need to beat me into submission when I'd already surrendered myself to you after you said you loved me.

I broke my own heart dreaming I could deserve someone as perfect as you are.

You say I avoid love but really I crave it, a fearful heart unknowingly doomed,
But I'd rearrange the stars and leash the moon, at the chance for another lifetime with you.
But the Oracle has spoke, and the Fates don't change their mind. Bold of me to assume Lachesis would be kind.
I don't believe in fate, spent my life running away, Clotho finds it funny,
Atropos ready for my dying day.